A Different Life
by JustSunny
Summary: It's been four year since the day Charlie Tango crashed and Ana's life has changed in ways she couldn't even have imagined. Yet, nothing could have prepared her for the turn her life is about to take next... AU/OOC/HEA
1. Chapter 1

_**I blame the storm outside that is keeping me from sleeping for posting another story... anyway, this is actually a story I have been writing for almost a year now. It's quite different from anything I have written before... so, this is set four years after the Charlie Tango incident. I know there are several stories which have started at this point, but there are only a few really good points in the books to start a what if type of story... I won't give too much away, but even if you hate this chapter, please wait until the second chapter before you decide that this is not a story for you... Because I have very little time to at the moment I aim to post once a week... usually around Wednesdays, so you'll get chapter 2 this Wednesday...**_

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to EL James**_

_**Ana**_

"Have a nice evening, Miss Steele."

"Thank you, you too, Andrea." I mutter as I leave the office on the top floor of Grey House with Taylor following behind me.

When the doors of the elevator close, I take my six inch Louboutins off and lean against the wall of the elevator with a sigh.

"Tough week, Ana." Taylor says sympathetically.

"The last four years have been tough." I murmur and sigh. I feel old and tired. At the age of twenty-five, I feel constantly exhausted. I have no idea how I have survived the last four years and how I managed to keep my sanity, but somehow I have survived. I've grown in so many ways, changed and sometimes it amazes me that when I look into the mirror I still see the same girl I have always seen. Okay, so I am a little more polished than before, but still...

"Where to Ana?" Taylor asks when we reach the black Audi SUV.

"Home, I have missed Christian today." I get into the car and look out of the window lost in thoughts until we reach the house at the sound. I still remember the first time I saw it, when Christian brought me here to show me the view. How hopeful he looked, almost scared I wouldn't like it and how delighted he was when I told him that I love the house.

It was almost a year later that we finally moved in. I wanted it to be perfect. A home for Christian and I away from all the nosy reporters and people who I believed were my friends... or even family. The first to stab me in the back was Kate. I never saw it coming until one morning Elliot came over. He was devastated and broke up with her immediately. She had sold us all out for a story. She had given away intimate details of what had happened and everything that took place afterwards. I never talked to her again and now the only friends I have left are Elliot and Mia. Though I wouldn't refer to them as friends, they were my life savers and by now they are my siblings, just like Carrick and Grace have become my parents.

Ray passed away after being in a car accident shortly after my 22nd birthday. I thought it was the final straw for me, I had reached my breaking point when I lost him, but somehow I recovered only to lose my mother too. She is still alive, but we are no longer talking. She just doesn't understand why I am doing what I do. She thinks I need more time for myself and she never understood why I am working so hard. I know her concerns come from a good place, but I was just too tired to fight with her about it every time we talked on the phone.

I know Grace is still in contact with her, but I don't ask. She knows that I would want to know if anything would happen to my mom, but other than that I don't want any contact at all. People think that I have become distant and cold over the years, but what they don't understand is that I have to protect myself and there are only very few people who get to see the real Ana these days. I can't let anyone in, I have to protect myself and Christian.

When Taylor stops the car by the front door I wait for him to open the door for me and get out. We have made some compromises over the years. He calls me Ana and in return I always wait until he opens the doors for me, even if it is just here at home. I also never argue over the measures of security he puts in place, I know he means well and I have learned how much I need the security a long time ago.

Getting into the house I walk into the kitchen where Gail is cooking dinner.

"Evening Gail."

"Good evening, Ana. Dinner in fifteen?"

"Sounds perfect, where is Christian?"

"In the family room with Mia."

"Thanks." I hurry upstairs and change into jeans and tank top, put my hair in a messy bun and hurry back downstairs and into the family room where Mia and Christian are snuggled up under a blanket in front of the TV watching _**Frozen**_ for what feels like the thousandth time.

"Guess who's home?" I call out cheerfully and Christian's head whips around.

"Mommy!" She squeals, gets up and jumps into my arms.

"Hey baby girl, did you have a good time with Auntie Mia?" I ask her and she gives me her biggest smile.

"We had ice cream and watched Nemo and now Frozen and Auntie Mia told me a story about Daddy when he was a boy and Auntie Mia was just my age." She tells me and I smile even though I feel the tears burning in my eyes.

"Wow that sounds like you had a lot of fun, Chrissie."

"Lots and lots and lots of fun, Mommy." She tells me and I kiss the tip of her nose which makes her giggle. God, I love my daughter so much it scares me sometimes. She saved my life, without her I don't think I would have been able to go through all the heart-break and drama that have been the last four years of my life.

"That's good, now I want you to go and wash your hands, we are having dinner in 5 minutes, you can watch the rest of the movie after dinner."

"Okay, mommy." I put her down and she hurries of in the direction of the guest bathroom.

"Hi Mia, thanks for watching her today, I couldn't blow this meeting."

"It's okay, you know I love to hang out with my niece. So... how are you doing?" She asks and I want to roll my eyes at her, but I don't because I know this is just as hard for her as it is for me.

"I'm okay, I mean tomorrow I will be worthless, you know... I don't think I will ever be okay on that day, but otherwise I'll be fine. I have Chrissie, so I can't just give up and you know, the moment I show the slightest weakness the sharks are out to take me down and I won't ever let that happen."

"Yeah, give them hell, Ana. God Christian wou..."

"Please don't!" I whisper and bite my lip to stop it from trembling.

"Sorry, I know, it's the same for me. Okay, you know what, I have to leave now, but let's meet this weekend. Elliot wants to make a BBQ, are you and Chrissie coming over too?"

"Yes, he called me and Chrissie is excited to hang out with her Uncle Lelliot." I try to smile, but it's hard. We hug and she says goodbye to Chrissie before she leaves.

Chrissie and I sit down and she tells me all about her day with Mia while we are eating our mac and cheese. Chrissie could live on mac and cheese, but I am adamant about having her on a healthy diet, so she doesn't get it as often as she would like. After dinner we watch the rest of the movie together and then I give her a bath and wash her hair before she has to go to bed.

"Which book do you want me to read for you tonight, baby girl?" I ask her and she shakes her head.

"No book tonight, mommy. Me wants to know how you met daddy." For a second I hesitate, but then I take a deep breath and get into the bed next to her.

"So, when I met your daddy I was still in college. I lived with a fellow student at an apartment in Vancouver and she got sick. She asked me to go and do an interview for her with a businessman I had never heard of. I drove all the way to Seattle and do you know what happened when I walked into your Daddy's office?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"I tripped and fell head first into his office." I tell her and she giggles which is the most adorable sound on earth.

"Your Daddy helped me to my feet and when I looked into his eyes I fell in love."

"Was Daddy like Prince Charming mommy?" She asks and I laugh a little. _Only if Prince Charming comes with contracts and whips these days..._

"A little bit, but most of all your Daddy was the most caring, wonderful and loving man I have ever met in all my life. He made me feel special and loved every second I was blessed to spent with him. And you know what else? He would have loved you more than anything in this world and wherever he is now, I know that he is watching us and he couldn't be more proud to have such a wonderful little girl as his daughter."

"Mommy, don't cry. Grammy says that Daddy is with the angels. Angels are good, mommy."

"I know sweetie, mommy is just a bit silly today. How about I read a book to you, now?"

She nods and so I read to her until she is fast sleep. I get up, switch her night light on and turn the lamp off. Leaving her room I head down to work in my study for a little longer and then it is time. I make my way into the kitchen and grab a chilled bottle of Bollinger from the fridge, take a teacup from the cupboard and head over to security office, but before I can even knock Sawyer comes out.

"I'll get the car, Ana. Has Gail the baby monitor?"

"Yes, I gave it to her before I went to my study."

"Good and Ana, you should put a cardigan on, it's a bit chilly tonight." He says kindly and I get a cardigan while he gets the car.

After a twenty minute drive we arrive and a quick glance at my watch shows me that it is almost midnight. I walk towards my destination, knowing that Sawyer is going to follow me just enough so that he can see me, but not listen to what I am saying.

I sit down on the small stone bench and stare at the grave in front of me and like every time I am here I pray that I will wake up and this is nothing but a terrible dream. However, I know that this is not going to happen. Today it's been four years. Four years since I held Christian's hand as he quietly left this world forever. Four years since I last heard his voice, last saw his beautiful eyes and almost four years since I have allowed myself to really cry on any other day as today.

When Elliot called me to tell me that Charlie Tango was missing, I had this terrible feeling as if I was mentally preparing myself for the worst. Deep down though I still hoped all would end well. It was a little after midnight that we got the call that they had found two persons near a crashed helicopter and that they had been airlifted to the hospital.

We all went there as fast as we could and what the doctors told us was worse than anything that I could have ever imagined. Ros had very little injuries, but Christian who had tried to put the fire out, was close by when Charlie Tango exploded. The doctors told us that 96 percent of his body were burned and that it was a miracle that he was still alive. At first I stupidly thought we would get through this, that he could recover. My mind stubbornly refused to comprehend what it meant when 96 percent of the body are burned. And then I heard the words I will never forget.

_"At this point death would be the best for Mr. Grey. You should prepare yourself to say goodbye now." _

After that Elliot and Taylor had to hold me up, because my legs couldn't support me anymore. We all went into his room and seeing him there... I didn't even recognize him, but I held his hand and sat with him, refusing to leave the room. He was unconscious, but I still told him that my answer was yes, that it was meant to be my birthday present for him and shortly after that his heart stopped beating forever.

Until this day I can't remember the days that followed, it's all a blur. I barely remember the funeral. Only how my Dad and Elliot both held my hand the entire time and by some miracle I managed to get up and say something about Christian. I wanted each and every person to know what an amazing human being Christian had been. Not the ruthless businessman, but the real Christian. The man who thought he wasn't worthy of love, but was so full of love for the people closest to him.

Three days later Christian managed to shock me one last time, when at the reading of his will it turned out that he had changed his will the day after we had gotten back together. He left me everything that he owned, apart from 50 million for his parents, his siblings and grandparents as well as 50 million for Coping Together.

At first I didn't want anything, I wasn't able to even comprehend what this meant and it wasn't until Carrick advised me to sell GEH that I finally woke up and took control. GEH is Christian's legacy and I would never sell it. So, I made Ros the new CEO of GEH and I myself became President of GEH. It wasn't easy, but after a rather harsh set back in the first two years GEH is now making more profit than ever.

But what really saved my life was Chrissie. The day I found out that I was carrying Christian's child was the day that I knew he had never left me. Even though he is gone he has given me the most precious gift. Our daughter, a part of Christian that will be with me forever. The pregnancy wasn't easy, I nearly lost her and was on bed rest for nearly four months, but in the end I gave birth to a healthy girl that was welcomed by all the Grey's who all went with me into the delivery room. I wanted Christian's child to be born knowing that she is loved by a group of the most amazing people in this world. When she was born after nearly twenty hours of labor we were all crying, but for the first time in months it were happy tears.

I am brought back from my thoughts when the alarm on my phone goes off. I open the bottle of Bollinger and pour myself a cup of it. This has become my tradition. All the Grey's come here during the day, but I always come here on midnight of Christian's birthday. I can't be here with his family around, it is just too much for me. Whoever said that the loss of a loved one gets better with time lied. I feel the same pain as if he had just passed. I only learned how to keep the pain in for most parts, but it never went away, not even a tiny bit.

"I love you so much, Christian and I hope that wherever you are that you can see our beautiful girl. She is so much like you, sometimes it's scary how much I see you in her. She will give me hell when she turns into a teenager, I just know it. You probably would have wanted me to stay home with her, but you know, the three days a week I go to Grey House... I just need it, just sitting in your office makes me feel so close to you. I couldn't get through each week without it. Besides, it is your fault, that I have to work, you left me your company and now I have to take care of it until our daughter is old enough to take over. At least then the sign on your office door saying Christian Grey, CEO will be true again. Andrea asked if I wanted to remove it once, but I can't it's your office, your company, so it has to be your name on the door, right?"

I take a sip of Bollinger and smile. "Happy birthday, Christian, I love you."

After almost an hour I get up and softly touch the headstone. "I'll be back soon, I promise."

Back in the car Sawyer looks at me. "Home?"

"No, Escala." I still own the penthouse at Escala and every year on Christian's birthday I sleep there. It's too hard to be there otherwise, but on this day it makes me feel closer to him to be at Escala. Gail knows that I will be back in time for breakfast, so Chrissie won't even know that I didn't sleep at home.

In the garage of Escala I smile. Taylor of course knew that I would come here and that I would want to be alone, so he had someone drive my R8 here. It's the only one of the cars that doesn't get replaced with the latest model each year. This is still Christian's R8.

"Thank you, Sawyer. I'll see you tomorrow." He doesn't look too happy that I have dismissed him, but he knows better than to argue with me. He waits until I am in the elevator and two minutes later I step into the vestibule of the penthouse.

I walk through the great room and sit down on the piano bench. Over the years I have taken some lessons. Not that I am very good at it, but I can play a couple of songs, songs that I heard Christian play in the short time we had together. Somehow, by doing the things he liked to do I feel closer to him, which is why I am not able to fly a glider, why even with a child and company I returned to college and got my MBA in just one year. I won't say that I share Christian's passion for the business, but I admire all the philanthropic work he has done and continue to do it for him now.

I play the tune Christian has played the night he took my virginity and then stare out of the window for a long while. When I get up I walk upstairs and unlock the playroom door. I switch the light on and sit down on the Chesterfield couch. It's weird, but even after four years being in here still gives me this tingly feeling as if Christian would walk in here any second. Carrick and Grace think it is time for me to let go of some of Christian's belongings, the penthouse being one of them, but I just can't. I know it's not healthy and I should probably start to see someone to get over the grief I am still feeling so horribly, but I am just not ready to let go. I keep telling myself that one day maybe Chrissie wants to live here or maybe I will use it as corporate apartment, but the sad truth is, I'm keeping the penthouse, because a tiny part of me is still waiting for a miracle to happen, that one day he will just walk into the door and all will be perfect again.

In the end I leave the playroom, go downstairs into the master bedroom, undress and slip on of Christian's sweaters on before I curl up on his side of the bed and cry myself to sleep, hoping and praying that tonight will be the first night in four years where I will see Christian in my dreams...

_**One more thing, I know that the way Chrissie talks is too advanced for a three year old and it will become even clearer in the upcoming chapters, because I have to admit that I suck at writing kid-English, I thought about making her two or three years older... but as you will see in the next few chapters there is a reason why I didn't go there, so please just bear with me on this... oh, and the pinterest for this story is already up, the link is www dot pinterest dot com / sfanfiction / a - different - life **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay, I know I've said I would post the second chapter on Wednesday, but I'm a little nervous about this chapter, so I'm just going to post it now...**_

_**I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing and following, you guys are seriously amazing!**_

_**The most asked question was: Is Christian still alive?**_

_**You'll find out if Christian is alive in this chapter... **_

_**Ana**_

"Mommy, me wants to play football with Uncle Lelliot." Chrissie tells me on our way to Elliot's home. After Christian's birthday a few days ago, I have taken a few days off at work to spend more time with Chrissie. Sometimes I really feel guilty that I am working so much, I know I'm not neglecting my daughter by any means, but deep down I wish I could be a stay at home mom, while Christian would take care of GEH. I guess in a perfect world that would be how things would work, but I am not living in a perfect world, so I have to make the best out of the time I can spend with Chrissie each day.

"Well baby girl, I am sure Uncle Lelliot will be happy to play with you." I tell her and smile. Elliot has been the best Uncle to her one could imagine. Actually, he is a lot more like a father to her. Deep down I know he feels that he owes it to his brother to take care of his daughter and I am very thankful for that. I want my daughter to have a male role model like I had with Ray. For a while, everyone hoped that Elliot and I would start to date and I guess it was Mia putting pressure on us that finally made us cave two years ago.

We went on a date and actually had a good time, mostly because it didn't feel like being on a date, but more like having a good time with a friend or even a sibling. When he walked me to the front door after he had driven me home, we both really didn't know how to say goodbye and when he leaned in to kiss me we both felt so awkward that we started to laugh. We laughed until we both cried and that was the first time I had laughed this hard since Christian passed away.

I love Elliot with all my heart, but it is like I would love a brother and not the wild passion and love that I felt for Christian. And I would feel like betraying him by moving on with his brother. It just didn't seem right, which might have been another reason why I never had any romantic feelings for Elliot.

Apart from that I've been on one other date with someone I had met a fundraiser, but I never went on a second date with him, because it just felt wrong at the time. I know that at some point I have to put myself out there, but for now I'm just not ready and forcing myself to move on won't make me or anyone else happy. I'm still young, only twenty-five, so I don't feel like I have to find a man and get married any time soon. In addition, I would have to use time I could spend with my daughter to invest it in a new relationship and I don't want that, not now anyway.

Arriving at Elliot's I smile when I see him waiting at the front door of his home. He lives just a few miles away from us and we visit him quite often. Chrissie can't get out of her car seat fast enough when she sees him and the moment we are out of the car she runs to him and jumps into his arms.

"Me missed you Uncle Lelliot." She giggles when he swirls her around and he stops to blow a raspberry onto her belly, which makes her squirm and laugh out loud.

"You missed me, huh? Well, I missed you too, princess. And guess what... I have a surprise for you, who finds it first can keep it!" He announces and the both race into the house, which makes Taylor and me snort.

"It's like they are both kids, right?" I ask amused, Taylor nods and we go inside. Unlike Christian, I include the security in everything I do. I just don't like the thought that I am having a good time, while Taylor or Sawyer are outside in the car waiting. Over time, they have become family to me and it makes it much easier for me to see them as friends than as employees.

Inside I find Elliot and Chrissie in the kitchen loading a couple of super soakers.

"Elliot! I don't have a change of clothes for Chrissie." I groan and he grins at me.

"Don't worry, sis. I have bought some clothes for her, so can we please play outside, mommy?" He asks teasingly and I roll my eyes at him.

"As if there is any chance for me to stop the two of you."

"Great, come on princess, whoever gets Auntie Mia first gets a big scoop of chocolate ice cream." Elliot says and they run out to the backyard.

"Can you believe that I allow this guy to baby-sit my daughter?" I ask Taylor chuckling and make my way to the fridge where I get a bottle of beer for him and a can of root beer for myself.

Taylor just laughs and takes the beer before we follow them outside.

"Ana, oh darling, you look wonderful." Grace gushes the moment she sees me and we hug.

"Thanks Grace, you look good too and thanks again for taking Chrissie on Christian's birthday... I wish I could say it was different, but I am a mess when his birthday comes around."

"Darling, you never have to thank me for spending time with my granddaughter. There were times where this precious little girl was all that kept me going and I am so thankful that you chose to embrace us as your family instead of moving on with your daughter, because I know sometimes being around us has made this harder for you..."

"No, that's not true, Grace. All of you... the people who loved Christian the most, it is the biggest comfort for me to have you around. Now, let's not start the crying again, Christian would absolutely hate that." I say and we both start to laugh when Mia squeals because both Chrissie and Elliot are unloading there super soakers on her.

"Elliot! Stop it, that's not funny!" She shrieks, but the fact that she is laughing hard shows that she actually doesn't want them to stop and only two minutes later Elliot and Mia start to wrestle with each other for the super soaker, which ends with both of them landing in the pool.

"Mommy, me wants to jump in the pool too. Can I? Can I? Please?" Chrissie begs and that gives me an idea. I take my shoes and cardigan off, pick Chrissie up and take her shoes off.

"You want to jump into the pool, baby girl?" I ask her grinning and she nods excited.

"Okay, ready or not here we come." I call out, run over to the pool and jump in with Chrissie in my arms.

When we come up to the surface Chrissie is laughing her head off and we start a water war against Elliot and Mia.

"Oh my god, stop please, I'm done." I laugh and pant at the same time.

An hour later, I'm dressed in a football jersey from Elliot and a pair of jeans shorts Mia had in her car and sip on the cocktail Mia has made for us while Mia and Chrissie are playing.

"Are you okay, Grace?" I ask because she is rubbing her eyes and sniffing.

"Yes, just allergies and I forgot my eye drops at home, darling."

"I can get them for you; I left my sunglasses last time I was over, so I can get them too."

"Oh, you don't have to sweetheart."

"No, it's okay; just tell me where your eye drops are."

"They are in the medicine cabinet in the master bathroom."

"Okay, I'll be quick." I get up and tell Chrissie that I need to get something for her Grammy real quick and Taylor follows me.

At Grace's house, I open the door with the key that is always placed under a small rock in the flowerbed and frown. I wish she would stop putting a key there. If I wanted to break into a home that's the first spot where I would look for a key."

"I'll be quick, Taylor." I let him know when I walk up the stairs and go into master bathroom, where I find the eye drops. I take them and make my way to Christian's childhood bedroom, which is the room where Chrissie and I stay whenever we are staying here. I take my sunglasses, which are on the dresser and put them on top of my head.

Looking around I sigh. I will never forget the night of the Coping Together gala where Christian and I came up here to have sex. The first time he took a girl to his old bedroom. I close my eyes and relive those memories in my head. Taking a deep breath, I decide that I need to focus on my future, not the past. I leave the bedroom and suddenly I have this odd feeling, the one I used to have when Christian was close by. I try to shake it off, but it just gets more and more intense.

Without realizing what I am doing I find myself walking towards the family room. I open the door and step in and it isn't until my eyes focus on the figure sitting in the chair by the window that my heart nearly stops. I clutch my mouth with one hand to stop myself from screaming, afraid that if I do, I will wake up and he just disappears.

Christian's eyes are fixed on me and my heart is beating so fast that it feels like it is trying to escape my chest. I want to say something, throw myself into his arms, but I can't. They only thing that I can do is to stare at him wide eyed as he slowly gets up and walks towards me never breaking eye contact and I think I am going to faint when he stops in front of me.

I look at him and slowly take my hand off my mouth. Very slowly, I reach out to touch him, afraid that he will vanish the second I touch him and then I do it and he is here, he is real.

Tears start to flow down my face and I start to touch his arms, his chest, his face. Not able to understand how this can be happening and the more I realize that it really is true, that he is here alive, the more I start to sob and then he pulls me into his arms and I just cry into his chest.

"It's okay, I got you, Ana. I'm really here." He murmurs into my hair and just hearing his voice makes me cry even harder.

"Ana what is... mother fucking son of a bitch!" I hear Taylor call out followed by Christian laughing.

"Well, it's good to see you too, Taylor." Christian says and I look up at him. I can't help it, I have dreamed of this moment so often that I can't stop myself from kissing him.

And that's where my dream ends, because he doesn't kiss me back. I stop and step back my gaze roaming over him and then I see it and my world comes crashing down again when I see the wedding band he is wearing on his right hand.

"Ana, look I ..." He says, but I hold my hand up and slip into my CEO persona. It's the only thing I can do to stop myself from having a complete meltdown in front of him.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I will call your family, they are at Elliot's. I'll be back soon. Taylor?" I nod at him to follow me and he looks just as devastated as I feel.

"Taylor, I need you to drive over to Elliot's and take Chrissie home. This is not the right moment for them to meet. It should be just his parents and siblings for today. After Chrissie is home please come and pick me up."

"Ana, please don't be like that... you have every right to feel whatever you are feeling right now." He says, but I can't take it.

"Just do it." I snap and he sighs and leaves. I get my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and call Carrick.

"Ana, didn't you find the eye drops?"

"No, I have them Carrick, but... something came up. Taylor is coming over to pick Chrissie up, after that I need all of you to come to Bellevue."

"What is wrong, Ana?"

"It's hard to explain, Carrick. Just come here as fast as you can, all of you. Bye." I hang up and take a couple of deep breaths before I return into the family room. Ignoring Christian I make my way to the bar and pour myself a whisky which I down in one gulp.

"Sorry, but I really needed that." I mutter and Christian actually laughs.

"Yeah, I guess meeting your dead ex-boyfriend was not something you've expected to do today, eh?" He asks amused and hearing him refer to himself as my ex-boyfriend really fucking hurts.

"Not really, so... how?"

"I can't tell you. I only have my memories back for a couple of months..."

"Months?" I ask shocked.

"Yes, you have to understand I have a very different life now, Ana. I woke up in a hospital in Alabama over three and a half years ago with no memories at all. The police checked missing person cases, but no one was looking for me, so I got a new identity and have lived in Alabama ever since. Having no memories... not having to live with my fucked up past, it made me feel free for the first time in my life. When my memories came back four months ago... I was torn. I wanted to let my family know that I am still alive, but I didn't want to go back to the life that I had. I don't want to be that person again. The fuck up, the loner... it's not who I am today." He says and I am starting to get angry... not just for me, but for his family and for our daughter.

"What changed your mind?"

"Kelsey... my wife, she encouraged me to come home to see my family. We want to start a family soon and ... I'm sorry, Ana, I shouldn't tell you all of this." He mutters when he sees the horror on my face.

"No, I want to know."

"Kelsey has a big family and I want our children to know my family too... and we were thinking about moving, so why not Seattle. Once I have everything that I own back, Kelsey and I want to demolish the house at Sound that I've bought the day before Charlie Tango crashed and built our home there." He says and I gasp.

"Ana, please, it's just an old house, nothing special." He tries again and if he had spit in my face it couldn't have been more devastating.

"Well, it is not just an old house to me. It's been my home for the last three years and I am telling you now, you can have everything back that you have left me, but you won't get the house back. After all you've bought it in my name."

"You... you moved into the house?"

"Yes, Elliot renovated it for me, I have spent countless hours decorating it and it's my home. If I have to go through every court in this country to keep it I will do just that, because to me it is not just an old house."

I want to laugh about this situation, I have dreamed that he would one day just show up again and now he is married, about to start a family with someone else and all he wants from me is to move out of my house. The same house he bought for us to live in and grow old together.

"We can discuss this another time, is my family coming over?"

"Yes, they are, I'm just waiting for Taylor to return so he can take me home."

"He is working for you now?"

"Yes, Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, Reynolds and Gail are all working for me."

He nods and rubs his hands through his hair. "So, what have you done in the last couple of years, are you married?"

"No, I didn't really date anyone; I was busy with GEH most of the time." I tell him and he looks at me surprised.

"You've kept it?"

"Yes, of course. It was your legacy. Everyone told me to sell it, but I couldn't. For the first two years, it wasn't easy. With you presumed dead, many of the deals that weren't sealed by the time went down hill, because they didn't think I could keep GEH running. Ros is the CEO now, I'm the president and for the last two years the company has been making more money then ever."

"I'm glad you've kept my company, but we deal with all of that later. Tell me about my family." He says and I refill my tumbler with whisky.

"Well, Grace and Carrick are still working, though Grace is thinking about going into retirement in a year or two. Carrick... he will probably keel over in a courtroom one day, as he doesn't even want to hear the word retirement. Elliot... he is still the same, never settling down, always joking and Mia, she is engaged to a guy named Patrick with whom she owns several restaurants on the West Coast. They want to get married on Christmas day this year."

"What kind of guy is this Patrick?"

"He is a good guy, just turned 31, hard working and he adores Mia. You don't have to worry about him."

"And Elliot isn't seeing your roommate anymore?" He asks and I snort.

"No, and I haven't talked to Katherine in over than three and a half years."

"Why?"

"She sold us all out for a big story and after that I never wanted to see her again. I guess when the going gets tough you really learn who your friends are and who are not. Kate and Jose are definitively not my friends."

He frowns and sits down. "Do you see my family often?"

"Yes, we are very close." I say and his frown deepens. "Look Ana, I... I have no idea what all of you must have been through when you thought that I was dead, but... if I want to come back to Seattle I can't expect my wife to be okay with the fact that my ex-girlfriend is around all of the time. We should try to keep every contact between us to a minimum. I really don't want to hurt you and I know this situation must be incredible hard for you, but maybe it would be best if you just stop having contact to my family. We can get the legalities with GEH and everything else done and then just move on with our lives."

I have to put the tumbler down, because I am squeezing it so hard, I'm afraid it is going to break.

"You are right, you have no idea, Christian and there are things you don't know and I don't wish to discuss them now, because today should be about you, your parents and your siblings. But maybe tomorrow you and your wife can come to my place and we can talk. Tell Carrick to come over too, so he can tell what steps we need to take in order for you to get everything that it yours back."

"I guess we can do that. So... what else have you done these last couple of years?"

"Not much really, mostly working... I've been to England... well it was for a business meeting, but still... at least I have been there."

"That's good, so I want you to know that no matter how we resolve all of this, I want you to keep SIP."

"Christian, I have sold SIP nearly two years ago. It was already a dead weight when you bought it, Ros and I tried everything to fix it, but the management wasn't really cooperative, in the end, we had to make a decision and sold SIP, it was closed only two months later. We have re-employed some of the staff, but there is no SIP and I am sure that with my resume I will be able to find a decent job without any problems."

"I'll find something else for you; I don't want you to worry about that. Have you sold any of my properties?"

"No, I haven't sold anything. The New York apartment is still there as is your house in Aspen and the penthouse at Escala. I will ask Mac to have the Grace back at the marina; she is currently at my place."

"Do you sail?" He asks and smiles.

"Yes, quite often actually and guess what. I made Elliot piss his pants when I took him soaring last month." I giggle and he laughs.

"I'm impressed, Miss Steele. If I remember it correctly you were pretty scared when I gave you control over the glider when I took you soaring."

"I was, but there is really not much left that can scare me these days."

"And Elliot pissed his pants?"

"Yup, he screamed like a girl and thought we were both going to die. He vowed to never ever go soaring again."

"What else has happened since... you know?" He asks and I sit down and stare at my hands. I guess there is no easy way to tell him this.

"Your family knows what Elena Lincoln has done to you and she is currently in prison serving a life sentence with no chance of parole."

I watch him blench and then he glares at me. "You've told them?"

"Yes, I did and I do not regret it. Your father went to her place to confront her and found her in her basement molesting a thirteen years old boy. The police has found hundreds and hundreds of pictures of different boys she has molested over the years. She is a pedophile Christian and the only thing that I regret is that I didn't tell anyone earlier, because maybe then she wouldn't have had the time to get her claws into her last victim. I know you believe she helped you, but this woman is what some people like to call a savior abuser. She promises the parents her help with their kids only to rape them and while the parents are thankful for the help they are getting their children have to go through hell and judging from that dungeon in her basement it really looked like hell."

"She really did that?"

"Yes, she did and believe me, the world is a better place because this evil person is safely locked behind bars with no chances to ever get out. But now tell me about your life."

"Well, I woke up in a hospital in Alabama with no memories at all. Like I've said there was no missing person's report that would fit my description, so after some time of being John Doe, which annoyed the hell out of me, I was given a new identity. Alexander Fisher. I stayed in Alabama and started to work at a ranch, which is owned by the family of my wife. I've met her while I was still at the hospital, she is a nurse and helped me to get a job at her parent's ranch... look I don't want to hurt you with this, so let's just say we've been together for nearly three years now and married for two years. I still work at her family's ranch and then one day four months ago I got my memories back."

He has been with her for nearly three years... married for two years... there is nothing I can do about that and he seems happy...

"Ana?" I hear Grace call out and get up.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." I mutter and leave the room before he can say another word. I find Grace and the rest of her family downstairs and try to smile.

"Have you cried, darling? What is going on?"

"I... oh my God, I don't really know how to explain this ... there ... there is someone upstairs in the family room who wants to see you."

"What, who?" Grace asks and I have no idea how to tell her.

"It's... look I know this will sound like a really bad joke and you won't believe me... I didn't believe it myself and I'm still waiting to wake up any second... but it..." I stop when Grace starts to shake her head, because she knows, she knows what I am about to tell her.

"Ana... are you... I mean are you trying to tell me that... that..." She stops when I nod and with a speed I have never seen before she is running up the stairs and a second later we all hear her scream followed by loud sobbing.

"What the fuck?" Elliot exclaims and looks at me, as do Mia and Carrick.

"It's Christian." I finally get out and watch them all run up the stairs. For a moment, I just stand there, thinking of what to do. I don't want to go back upstairs; I don't think I could handle being in the same room with him without breaking down any longer. So, I step outside and take a couple of deep breaths.

While I wait for Taylor to pick me up, I start to feel terrible about myself. For four years, I have wished nothing more than that Christian would just show up again one day and now that the impossible has happened, all I feel is pity for myself because he is with someone else. I should be happy that he is alive and happily married, that he has found someone to share his life with, but the truth is I am not and a tiny part of me wishes that he would have stayed in Alabama without ever letting us know that he is alive. Because at least then I could have lived in the knowledge that I was the one woman in his life that he truly loved...

_**Okay, I'm going to hide now...**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: This chapter was supposed to be chapter five, but it also works as chapter three, as I feel like I have to give you some inside now. So, this is Christian's POV and hopefully after that you won't hate him as much as most of you did in chapter two...**_

_**A few things... there was some confusion about his wedding band, because he is wearing it on his right hand. I forgot that it's the left hand in the US, in Germany the wedding band is worn on the right hand...**_

_**I was asked why I didn't just post everything that I have written so far at once. The reason is that none of the chapters I have written are edited and I hate to post something without re-reading it twice at least. In addition some of the chapters have holes in them which I need to fill before I can post them and I don't have the time to go online every day, so one or two chapters each week is the best I can do for now. And sometimes if a reader has a request for the story that fits my storyline I also like to change things around a bit to work the requests in... so there are actually a lot of reason why posting everything at once doesn't work for me...**_

_**And lastly, I'm still trying to answer all the PM's I have gotten lately, but it will take some time, so please be patient with me, I'll try to have every message answered by the end of the weekend...**_

* * *

_**Christian**_

"I'm going for a run, Kelsey." I mutter and walk towards the door of our hotel room.

"I could give you a workout, Alex." She says seductively and inside I shudder.

"No, I really need a run, Kelsey, and it's Christian not Alex."

"Why are you acting like this, Christian? You haven't touched me in months! MONTHS! Is this about her? Are you meeting her?" She hisses and I turn around to face her.

"I've told you before; I don't want to be with Ana. She was annoying, defiant and clingy as hell. The only good thing that came out of me suffering from amnesia was that it gave me a way out of the relationship I had with her. I want to be with you, but I'm having a hard time to adjust to my new/old life, so cut me some slack."

"I'm sorry." She whispers and I feel my skin crawl just sharing space with her.

"I'll be back in an hour, don't forget that we are meeting with her later, to talk about the legalities of me getting everything back that is mine."

I leave the room before she has the chance to reply and walk towards the staircase. When I reach the fifth floor I open the door to the second room I have booked here and get inside. My gaze drifts to the two huge white boards full of notes and pictures and I touch one of the pictures of Ana and my daughter.

"Don't give up on me now, baby... I need to figure this all out before it's safe for us to be together." I whisper and shake my head to bring my thoughts back to what needs to be done.

There has to be a connection that ties Ros and Kelsey or someone in her god damn family together. I've read every fucking article about my supposed death that I could find and it all comes down to the fact that Ros told the police that she saw me nearly burn to death after Charlie Tango exploded. So how the hell is it possible that I don't have any scar on my body that I didn't have before? Whose fucking corpse in rotting in my grave and how the hell did I end up in that fucking shit hole of a village in Alabama?

I just need answers and I wish I would have been able to get them in Alabama, but all of my research got me nowhere. There is no link between Ros and Kelsey whatsoever. Still, I know there has to be a connection and that is why I was forced to go back to Seattle and put my family in potential danger. The least thing I can do is to keep Ana and our daughter safe.

Christ, when I looked Ana up on Google four months ago and many pictures showed her with a little girl my heart nearly stopped. I thought for sure that she had moved on, but then I took a closer look at the child and it hit me. The girl has my eyes; all it took for me was to look at Ana's Wikipedia entry to confirm that her daughter is indeed mine. Christian Grace Grey... if I ever needed any proof of Ana's love for me then this little girl is the living, breathing proof that Ana loved me even after she thought that I was gone.

And now I am the one who has to hurt her. But I have to keep her safe. I have no idea if someone is still after me and I can't risk putting Ana or our daughter in danger. Seeing the hurt in her eyes when I told her about my wife and plans to have a family with Kelsey nearly broke me, but as long as I haven't figured everything out I have to keep this charade up and I can only hope that Ana's love for me is strong enough to forgive me once this nightmare is over and I can finally hold her in my arms again.

A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts and the second I open the door I'm on my ass on the floor.

"What the fuck!" I curse and rub my aching jaw.

"You son of bitch! I don't know why you called me to get here and frankly I don't give a shit, but now you will listen, you bastard! You will stay away from Ana. She has been through enough and I won't allow you or anyone else to hurt her." A very angry Jason Taylor hisses at me.

"I don't want to hurt Ana, but I have no choice, she has to believe that I am in love with my wife."

"Why ... wait, what the hell." He mutters and steps inside to take a look at the white boards.

"What is this?"

"I'm trying to figure out how I ended up in Alabama and how my wife and her family are involved in all of this. There has to be a connection to Ros."

"Ros... as in Ros Bailey?" He asks surprised.

"Yes, fucking think Taylor, she told the police she saw me running around as a human torch! Do I look like a burn victim to you? Why would she lie? Who the fuck drove me to Alabama, to a village the size of fucking peanut where everyone is related to each other and why is my wife so eager to move across the country? She didn't even want to move to a bigger town, now she wants to live here all of a sudden and more importantly, why did I gain my memories back after I secretly stopped taking the _"vitamins" _she insisted I had to take each fucking day?"

I watch Taylor as he looks at the pictures and notes and then he takes one off.

"What does that mean, no news articles?" He asks.

"I was found unconscious with head injuries on the side of the road. One would think that this would make the news, I searched online through newspaper archives and there is literally nothing."

"Did the police take your DNA or fingerprints?"

"Not that I recall, but if Kelsey is involved in this, then so is her family and her brother happens to be the sheriff of the town, her uncle was my doctor... Christ, Taylor, the whole fucking village is one family. By now, I'm convinced that they never even tried to find out who I am, because all of them fucking knew and for some reason they didn't want me to remember."

"What do you remember of the helicopter crash?"

"Not much, we took a detour to Silver Lake, suddenly we had a fire in the tail, next thing I knew the control panel lit up and by some miracle I managed to land Charlie Tango and got Ros out safely. I wanted to put the fire out, then nothing... the next thing I remember is waking up in this fucking hell hole of a makeshift hospital with no memories at all."

"And you never questioned that there was no clue to who you are?"

"Not at first, and now that I think about it, everyone was rather quick to distract me when I started the topic. Taylor, I need to get to the bottom of this. I want to be with Ana... I want to finally meet my daughter."

"Have you considered to tell Ana the truth?"

"No, I can't. Kelsey is no fool, Taylor. She would figure out that something is going on, that's why I need Ana's reactions to be real. As long as Kelsey believes me that I don't want to be with Ana, that my feelings for her are gone, Ana is safe. And that's why I need your help; I can't keep this charade up much longer. I need to figure this out, tell Kelsey to fuck off and finally return to Ana."

"Sir, with all due respect, but Miss Steele won't be happy about this; in fact, she will make your life hell once she finds out that you were hurting her on purpose."

"Then I'll deal with it, but just imagine I tell her, Kelsey realizes that I love Ana and she goes off the deep end and harms Ana or little Christian... I can't risk that."

"Chrissie." He murmurs and I nod, slightly pissed that I don't even know something as small as my daughter's nickname. Whoever is responsible for all of this is going to pay. I will fucking ruin each person involved in this!

"Fine, but tune it the fuck down. I mean it, Ana has been through so much... first she lost you, then her father, her best friend back stabbed her, she nearly lost Chrissie twice while she was pregnant and even though she is stronger than she knows herself there is only so much a person can take."

"She nearly lost the baby?" I gasp.

"Yes, according to your mother the only reason your daughter is here right now is that Ana was too stubborn and determined to miscarry. She was not about to give up on her child even if it meant lying in bed for months."

"That's my girl." I murmur to myself.

"Sir, do you happen to have some of the pills your wife has given you here?" Taylor asks and I get them from the dresser.

"These don't look like vitamins, Mr. Grey. I will have them checked in a lab. I might need to get Welch involved, is that okay with you?"

"Yes, but no one else. I don't know if someone is after me and the easiest way for anyone to hurt me is by going after my family."

"So that's why you waited four months until you came back to Seattle?"

"I was hoping that I would be able to figure this out by myself; as long as my family believed that I am dead there was no danger for them. Sadly, my research didn't get me anywhere and Kelsey's family always made sure that I had no reason to leave the village. It wasn't until I managed to get out for two hours that I got my hands on an old laptop that was probably made the same day the fucking wheel was invented that I could do any kind of online research."

"And you never got suspicious?"

"I did, that's why I have my memories back. One day I heard Kelsey talk to her uncle that she was afraid I would get serious side effects from the pills she was giving me each day. That's when I stopped taking them and only a week later my memories returned. My first impulse was to just get the hell out of there and return to Seattle, all I wanted was to be with Ana again, but when I started to think about it I knew it wasn't safe. I hate this, Taylor... but I have no choice."

"We'll figure this out, Sir. I promise you we'll get to the bottom of all of this. Just do what you have to do, but keep in mind that Ana has been through a lot too, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that and don't try to alienate her from your family."

"I have to, Taylor. Believe me, I don't want to... fuck, I'm ecstatic that she has embraced my family so much, but it's too hard. This might sound selfish, but being in her presences and not being able to hold her in my arms and to tell her how fucking much I love her is killing me. The less I see her for now the better, because I just can't handle it."

"Your family won't allow this to happen, Mr. Grey. They are close as hell, I've never seen a family unit this close to each other before." He says and I run my hands through my hair. _Get it together, Grey. You can do this for Ana and your daughter._

"Do you think she will tell me about Chrissie?"

"Ana is a wonderful mother, Sir. No matter how things are between her and you, she would never withhold this information from you. Does your wife know about your daughter?"

"I haven't told her, that's for sure and they won't meet if I can help it. I don't want my daughter tainted by her presences alone, bad enough I can't keep Ana from having to meet her, but she is not coming anywhere near my daughter." I say and Taylor nods.

"I have one more question, Sir. Why did you marry this woman in the first place, since you don't seem to have romantic feelings for her."

"I had lost all of my memories and I was a different man, Jason. All of my shitty past, it was gone and I was free. Kelsey was the only woman my age in the village. She is pretty and I thought I'm in love with her. The second I remembered my past whatever feelings I had for her evaporated. It's that simple, Ana is the one for me. I only knew her one month by time Charlie Tango crashed and still, what I felt for her and still feel is so much more and true than anything I have ever felt for Kelsey... she doesn't mean more to me than any sub I had in my life."

"Good, and I'm not sure if someone has told you already, but technically Kelsey is not your wife. You've married her under a different name."

"I know, my dad has pointed that out to me. Makes it easier to get rid of her no matter what truth will come to light." I shrug. This may sound cold, but the sooner I can get rid of Kelsey the faster I can finally be with Ana again.

"I should leave now, Miss Steele expects me to be back at the house in 30 minutes and traffic is a bitch."

"Good, I will contact you twice a day from now on. I have a burner phone, so no one will be able to trace it back to me."

"We'll figure this out, Sir... and it's good to see you alive." Taylor says and leaves. Once he is gone I leave the room too and leave the hotel. Going for a run, I run fast as hell to work up a sweat in no time, so Kelsey won't get suspicious when I return. On my way back I only stop at a newspaper stand and stare at the cover of the Forbes Magazine because Ana is on the cover.

_Soon baby, I promise..._


	4. Chapter 4

_**I'm speechless you guys, 3 chapters and 400+ reviews... I have no idea what to say other than thank you all so much... oh and I'm going to give you two little hints 1. Elena has nothing to do with it and 2. Ana is the one person who can figure it all out...**_

* * *

_**Ana**_

I have been a mess ever since I have left Bellevue yesterday. I tried to stay positive and happy for Chrissie, but it has been really hard. I feel like someone had given me all I ever wanted and then just viciously ripped it out of my hands. And because I don't want to feel that way I have called John this morning to make an appointment for tomorrow. I need to get over these feelings, because I want to be happy that Christian is alive, that my daughter will grow up knowing her father and still all I can feel is this tremendous hurt inside of me that doesn't leave any space for other feelings.

Carrick called to let me know that he, Christian and his wife would be over at my place around two this afternoon. So, I have spent all morning explaining to Chrissie why her father isn't dead. I didn't want her to just run into the room and get scared when she sees him, but she is excited to meet her father. Carrick has told me that none of them has told him about Chrissie, so that is a good thing. Still, I feel actually sick the closer it gets to two pm.

Chrissie is outside playing with Sawyer and Ryan and I will call them to bring her in once Christian knows. Looking in the mirror I check my outfit for the hundredth time. It's nothing fancy, just some nice jeans, a silk top and pumps, but knowing that I look good makes me feel a little better. I expect Christian's wife to be absolutely gorgeous, so I don't want to look like an ugly duckling when I meet her. I have given myself the prep talk to be nice to her too many times to count, because inside I hate her. It's irrational I know, but I hate her for being Christian's wife when this should have been me.

"Ana, they are coming up the driveway." Taylor announces and I take some deep breaths. _I can do this. _

"Okay, would you ask Gail to bring some refreshments to my study?"

"Sure... and Ana, don't allow them to walk all over you, this is your home." He says and walks into the kitchen while I make my way to the front door. I have to stop myself from pacing and then the door bell rings and I slowly make my way to open the door.

"Hi, please, come in." I motion for the three of them to come in and when I get the first good look of Christian's wife she is everything I feared she would be, she is simply stunning and to my great surprise, she is a blonde. I frown and from the corner of my eye I see Christian smirking, telling me that he knows exactly why I am frowning, but then my good manners take over.

"Hi, I'm Ana. You must be Kelsey, right?"

"Yes, nice to meet you." She says with a thick southern accent and I hate to admit, but she seems nice.

"Christian, I love this house, we should keep it. With a few changes this could be my dream home." She says to him and what ever sympathy I have felt for this woman only seconds ago evaporates. I look at Carrick and he gives me a look that clearly says _'don't worry, darling'_, which puts me a little at ease.

"So, why don't we all go to my study and talk about everything in there." I say and lead them all into my study where we sit down in the small sitting area. A moment later Gail comes in and she has tears in her eyes when she sees him. So, I get up and take the tray she is caring while Christian gets up to greet her.

"I've heard you are Christian's ex-girlfriend... how come he left everything to you?" Kelsey asks and I shrug.

"Honestly, I have no idea. It was the biggest shock ever when I sat in the reading of his will and found out that Christian has left everything to me. Though I wasn't his ex-girlfriend, we were a couple at the time we thought he had died." I explain and she just nods when Christian joins us again.

"So, well I guess I should start." Carrick says and clears his throat. "First, we have to go to court and appeal that Christian is no longer presumed dead. For that we will need proof such as dental records and a DNA test both of the body in his grave and from you yourself, Christian."

"Good, but Dad, how do we do that?" Christian asks and I look at Carrick pleading not to say anything for now.

"We will come to that later, son. After that we will have to make another appeal to legally give everything you have left to Ana back into your possession, but this will exclude everything GEH earned from the point Ana stepped in as the President. What she has earned during this time is not included." Carrick explains and Kelsey frowns.

"But she earned it with Alex... umm Christian's company."

"Yes, but Ana did all the work, you could say that she was the President in his absence, therefore what she has given herself as a salary during this period of time is legally hers due to fact that she was the one doing the work for him."

"Dad, all of that is okay with me, Ana has worked hard and she deserves the money, but I want this house, I have bought it to raise my family here and that is still my plan." Christian says and Carrick sighs.

"Christian, you have bought this house in Ana's name. Your name never showed up in the documents, therefore this house was never part of the properties Ana gained from your will. She finalized everything after your passing, so this house is hers." Carrick explains and I start to relax a little.

"But she finalized everything with his money." Kelsey points out.

"Yes, and if the two of you want to, you could sue Ana for paying the money back, but still, this house is out of question and legally hers. The only thing you could do was to offer Ana to buy it from her, but I doubt she would agree to that."

"What if I give you Escala in exchange, I mean... I don't want to offend you, Ana. But by your own admission you said you are not even dating, so you really don't need a family home." Christian says and that hurts.

"Yes, I am not dating, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a family, Christian. In fact, if it would be just me, I would consider leaving this house and just give it to you, but I am not living here alone."

He frowns and looks at me. "Who else lives here?"

"Our daughter." I answer and let out a deep breath now that I have finally said it.

"What did you just say?" Kelsey asks while Christian just stares at me completely shocked.

"I said that the reason why I am not selling this house to anyone is that this is my daughter's home and yes, she is Christian's daughter too."

"No... no, this can't be right, I always used protection with you, Ana. Dr. Greene even made a fucking pregnancy test the weekend we got back together! How can this be?"

"I was too newly pregnant for the test to show a positive result. I know that this is not what you wanted to hear when you came here today, but we have a daughter and this is her home, Christian."

He gets up and starts to pace. "Are you even sure she is mine?" He asks and now I get up too.

"Are you for real? How dare you accuse me of cheating on you! I'm sorry if this makes things difficult for you and I am not forcing you to be a part of our daughter's life, but do not ever look me in the eyes again and ask me if that precious little girl outside in the meadow is really your daughter, because one look at her will tell you the truth."

"Dad, did you know this?" Christian asks while running his hands through his hair.

"Of course, son. I love that little girl with all my heart, we all do. We have been a part of her life from the moment she was born. The reason why none of us has told you yesterday is that it was up to Ana to do that, not us."

"Christian, darling please calm down. You have a daughter, yes that is a shock, but actually it's wonderful. She can live with us and grow up with..."

"Whoa! Don't even finishes that thought, Kelsey, because as long as I am not dead, my daughter won't live with anyone else but me. Christian can visit her as often as he likes and she can visit him on the weekends, but she will remain living here with me." _Okay, I admit it, I hate the bitch and I want to rip out each fake blonde hair on her head. _

"Aren't you being a little selfish here, Ana. A child should have a mother and father, with us she would have that."

Oh fuck me, tell me she did not just say that. "Let me think about that for a moment. I am her mother and Christian is her father... and you are... oh right, you are nothing to MY daughter, so if you want MY daughter to live with her mother and father then it seems to me that you are the reason she can't have that." I know I am sounding like a bitter bitch right now, but I can't help it. How dare this woman tell me that she wants to be a mother to my child?

"Ana, I don't appreciate the tone you are taking with my wife." Christian snaps.

"Well, I don't appreciate the way she is talking to me either." I snap back and we glare at each other.

"Now, why don't we all sit down again and discuss this calmly. Chrissie's living arrangements aren't in question, Ana. There is no reason to remove her from your care, you are a wonderful mother and every judge would agree with that."

"Thank you, Dad." I mutter and hear Christian gasp while Carrick has the biggest smile on his face. They have asked me long ago to call them mom and dad, but most of the time I call them Grace and Carrick, I didn't intend to call him Dad, but it just slipped my tongue.

"What did you just call him?" Christian asks, but Carrick answers for me.

"Christian, you have to understand that in the last four years Ana has become a daughter to your mother and I and a sister to your siblings. She is a part of our family now, one that I don't want to miss. I know this makes this situation even more complicated, but you have to accept the fact that Ana will be there for family gatherings and holidays. She is not just the mother of our first grandchild, she has become our daughter."

This time Christian is not just running his hands through his hair, he is pulling on it as if he was trying to rip it all out.

"Dad, I am your son, don't you see how awkward it will be for Kelsey to see Ana all the time?"

"Yes, I can see that, but both of you will have to learn how to deal with it, Christian. This won't be easy for Ana either, but you two have a child, so this means you will have to find a way to communicate with each other, because otherwise you will never be able to co parent your daughter. We are not going to exclude Ana all of a sudden, it's not an option after everything we have been through together."

"I see, fuck this is why I did not want to return to Seattle... it's just one fuck up after the other." He yells and I cannot take it any longer.

"Excuse me." I murmur and hurry out of my study.

"Ana what happened?" I hear Taylor behind me, but I just run out of the house, I feel like the walls are closing in on me and when I hear Chrissie's beautiful laughter coming from the meadow I kick my shoes off and walk towards here.

"Mommy!" She exclaims and I crouch down and open my arms for her. She runs into my open arms.

"Are you sad, mommy?" She asks when she sees the tears in my eyes.

"No, just a little tired. Can I get a special Chrissie Grey hug?" I ask and she gives me a big hug while I inhale the fruity scent of her hair.

"Better mommy?"

"Yes a lot better." I smile and put her down.

"Make me fly, mommy." She asks so I lie down flat in the soft grass hold my legs up and put her on my feet.

"Me is flying mommy" she laughs with her little arms stretch out and just seeing her so carefree and having fun makes everything that is going on disappear for a while. Reaching forward I hold her up with my hands and use my toes to tickle her which earns me the most beautiful laughter from my daughter.

"Mommy, Grampy is here." She squeals and I put her down so she can run over to Carrick who whispers something to her after which she skips over to meadow to Sawyer and Ryan and continues to play with them while Carrick comes and sits down facing me in the soft grass.

"I'm sorry, I know my behavior was ..."

"Don't apologize, Ana. I don't know what to feel myself. I keep asking myself why we mean so little to him that he has waited four months to contact us. In addition, a part of me is not even convinced that this is my son." He says and my eyes widen in horror.

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that this could be a scheme. Plastic surgery can do miracles, Ana. You take someone who already had an resemblance to Christian and with the right surgeries... I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to protect myself from losing my son all over again. Maybe it's the lawyer in me... who knows, but I have asked them to leave for now. I hope you agree to let Grace take a DNA sample of Chrissie so that we can have the test done."

"Yes, of course... just... can they take her away from me... I mean... she does have a point, if Christian would plea for full custody of Chrissie she would have an mother and father with him and his wife... am I selfish, because I want her to live with me, Dad?" I ask and fresh tears roll down my cheeks.

"No, you are a mother who loves her child very much and I promise you that no one is going to take your child away from, sweetheart."

"You know, I feel like the worst person in the world. For four years all I wanted was to see him one more time, to hear his voice again and to tell him how much I love him and now ... now all I want is for him to go away and leave me alone. Every time he refers to me as his ex-girlfriend it's like a knife to my heart. I never broke up with him, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but he was taken from me and now he acts as if nothing that happened between us matters. I don't understand any of this. How did he end up in Alabama? Why did he wait four months to contact us? It's like he is a completely different person and I ... I want the Christian I know back." I cry and Carrick pulls me into his arms.

"You are a wonderful young woman, Ana Steele. Don't ever think any less of yourself. We all have a lot to figure out and I know this is especially hard on you. We got our son and brother back, but you... well it's hard, but I want you to know that you will always be a part of our family. I would have loved to call you my daughter in law one day, but I am even more honored to call you my daughter now. You have chosen us to be your family and that means so much to Grace and myself. Don't think that whatever is going on will change that you belong to our family just like Mia, Elliot and Christian do."

He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes my tears. "Now, no more tears. This little girl over there needs a happy mother and you are an incredibly strong young woman, Ana. You will pull through this just like you have done with everything else that was thrown your way in the last four years and you will do so with dignity and self-respect. I know it is hard to stay cool at times, but Kelsey wanted to rile you up, I could see it in her demeanor, do not let her win again, you are so much better than that."

"I'll try, but hearing her talk about Chrissie as if she could just replace me as her mother just made me lose it."

"I know, but you are better than that. Just think of that whenever you have to be in the same room with her. Do you want to join us for dinner tonight?"

"No, I need some time to myself and... I think it is best if we wait for the test results before Christian meets Chrissie."

"Good, so I call you about the DNA sample and I want you to take some time to yourself. You have a lot to think about, Ana. Leave Ros to deal with GEH for a while."

"Maybe I do that." I murmur and Carrick kisses my forehead and gets up, I watch him as he says goodbye to Chrissie and then leaves. For a while I just continue to watch Chrissie play, but then I decide that Carrick is right, Chrissie needs a happy mother not one who is drowning herself in self pity. So, I get up and make my way over to Chrissie to play with her. I can worry about Christian and his bitch of a wife when Chrissie is in bed, but for now I will just focus on my daughter...


	5. Chapter 5

_**One week later - Ana**_

After taking Carrick's advice to just focus on myself for a while, I have called Ros and told her that I needed a week or two to myself. Andrea has stopped by twice so I could sign some of the important paperwork, but otherwise I have spent all my time with Chrissie. I took her to the zoo, we went to the movies and yesterday Elliot and I went to the Wild Waves Theme Park with her, which was so much fun that we want to go again later this summer.

Grace has taken a DNA sample from Chrissie, but so far, I haven't heard of the results or from Christian in general. I can't say I am upset that he hasn't contacted me after our last encounter. I know that we have to find a way to communicate with each other for Chrissie's sake, but it's hard. I guess I need a lot more sessions with John to get over the hurt and anger I am feeling towards Christian and his wife. I have to accept that they are a package deal now and I have to find a way to deal with that, because once Christian sees our daughter regularly she will also spend time with Kelsey and I don't want to be the kind of mother who badmouths her daughter's stepmother in front of her.

The one thing that John told me that really help me was that it wasn't my Christian, the Christian I knew who just moved on and married another woman. He had lost all of his memories and with that often comes a change in personality too. Now he has to deal with his new life colliding with his old life and as hard as it is, I can't blame him for the choices he made when he didn't even knew that I existed. The rational part of me understands that and this tiny piece of knowledge makes the thought of Christian being married to someone else at least bearable, but there is also the emotional part of me and that part feels hurt, betrayed and just utterly gutted that while I was sick with grief, he just moved on with his life and married another woman.

"Ana?" I look up from the magazine I was mindlessly flicking through when I hear Taylor's voice and find him standing at the entrance of the living room.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Grey is coming up the driveway." He announces and I frown.

"Oh... okay, I didn't expect Carrick... please let him in."

"Umm... it's Mr. Christian Grey, who is on his way to the house." He says and I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Well, let's see what he wants. I'll wait for him in the kitchen. Thank you, Taylor." I give him a weak smile and make my way into the kitchen where I busy myself by starting to make lunch.

"Ana?" I look up from the cutting board when I hear Christian's voice and find him leaning against the breakfast bar.

"Hi Christian. So, what brings you here?" I try to sound casual, but I know I'm failing miserably.

"Well, I'm happy to announce that I am officially me and that I am the father of our daughter." He says and holds some documents out for me.

"I didn't need a DNA test to tell you that. One look at her and everyone knows who her father is."

"Yeah, well, I haven't seen so far, so I wouldn't know." He says and shifts from foot to foot.

"How could you not have seen her, Grace has pictures of her everywhere."

"I know, but I have avoided looking at them. I wanted to wait for the results first."

"Sure you wanted that, after all I always had the tendency to sleep around." I mutter sarcastically and he sighs.

"It wasn't meant as an insult, Ana. Fuck, this is such a mess. Look, I am here, I want to meet her and try to be the father she deserves, but if you tell me now that this is not what you want, then fine, I'll leave." He says and that pisses me off.

"Christian, what I want doesn't matter. This is not about me; our daughter has a right to know you, just like you have the right to know her. The only thing I want to make perfectly clear now is that if you decide to be a part of her life then you have to stick with it. I won't allow you to jump in and out of her life as you see fit. That's not an option, so you need to make up your mind if you want to be a father to her and continue to do so for the rest of your life or not."

I can tell by the way his lips are pressed together that he is pissed too. "Of course I want to be a father to my daughter, but I guess that we can both agree that the situation is less than ideal. I'm married to someone else...

"I know that you are fucking married, god damn it!" I yell in frustration and throw my hands in the air.

"Ana... I didn't mean to upset you... I ... I'm..." He stutters clearly shocked by my sudden outburst.

"Well, then you better stop rubbing it in my face every fucking time I have to see you! And just to be perfectly clear, the next time your wife says to me she wants to play mommy for my daughter, I will rip each bleached blonde hair on her head out. Because funny enough ever since I've met her I'm seriously in the mood for some good old bitch slapping. Christ, one would think after Elena there wasn't any possible way for you to sink even lower, but you really won the prize with that blonde gold digging bimbo." I mutter the last part more to myself than to him and for second he looks as if he is about to burst into laughter, but then his mouth sets into a grim line.

"How about we change the subject? I'm also here because I wanted to tell you that I have no intentions to sue you over custody for our daughter. I know that you are a wonderful mother and I don't want to take her away from you. I just want to get to know her, maybe once Chrissie and I had the chance to get to know each other and I've found a permanent residence here in Seattle, she can spend a weekend or two each month with me ... or maybe I could take her on vacation. I just want to have a good relationship with our little girl, Ana." He says and for a moment, it's like getting a glimpse of the old Christian. _My Christian._

"Thank you and taking her on vacations or her spending two or three weekends each month at your place won't be a problem." I give in; after all, I want them to have a good relationship, so I'm not going to make this hard for him.

"So, is she here?"

"No, Mia stopped by this morning and took her shopping; they will be back in about thirty minutes for lunch. You can stay and wait if you want to." I offer, because I rather have him meet her alone than with his bitch of a wife.

"That would be nice... and I have to say you did a great job with the house. I never thought it could be like this."

"Thanks... so where are you staying right now?"

"At a hotel, my parents wanted me to stay at their house, but my Mom and Kelsey didn't get along, so a hotel was a better choice."

I frown and open drawer to get a notepad and pen. I'm sure he doesn't have much money and this is an easy solution to the problem. "Here." I hand him the piece of paper and he stares at it.

"What are those numbers?"

"Those are the codes for the garage and elevator at Escala. It's your penthouse, so you can stay there... oh and here." I open another drawer and throw some keys his way, which he catches. I have seen the death trap he is driving right now; no way would I ever allow him to drive around town with my daughter in that car, if he wants to take her somewhere soon. Plus the R8 has two seats, so he can't take Kelsey with them!

"Wait... you still own it?"

"Yes, I have replaced all the other cars with newer ones, but I couldn't bring myself to replace your R8. I drive it from time to time, but it's yours, so take it. All of your clothes and other belongings are still at Escala."

"Wow, you really didn't get rid of anything, did you?"

"No, I couldn't... so I will ask Gail to stock up the pantry later and make sure everything is set up when you arrive."

"Good." He says and suddenly he gets a rather panicked expression. "You didn't throw anything out?"

"No, why?"

"Well, I wasn't really planning on telling Kelsey about the more fucked up part of my past, if she wants a tour and sees the playroom... fuck."

"I can have Taylor dismantle the playroom this afternoon." I offer and I am surprised how upset I am at the thought of having the playroom removed.

"Thank you, but I guess it wouldn't be appropriate to bring my wife into an apartment where I have fucked random women on every flat surface, anyway."

I quickly turn around and start chopping again just so he doesn't see how much his last comment has hurt me and inside I am wondering if it was like this for Leila, because right now I feel as if I am holding on to sanity by a thread.

"I wasn't talking about you, Ana" I hear his voice right behind me.

"Doesn't matter, have you talked to Carrick about all the legal stuff, I need to tell Ros what is going on." I mutter dismissingly, I don't want him to act nice; I need him to be an ass so it's easier for me to somehow get over my feelings for him.

"Ana, please. I didn't mean you when I was talking about random women. Don't be so cold." And that does it. I spin around and glare at him.

"Cold? I'm not cold, Christian, but since you are back, everything you say or do hurts me. I don't want to feel like this and I am trying to deal with it, but it is just not that easy, so please just drop it." I snap and he steps even closer until we almost touch.

"The last thing I want is to hurt you, Ana. Just... fuck... just trust me, Ana. You know me, you know better than anyone in this world, Ana. You have to trust me." He says and stares into my eyes as if he is trying to give me some sort of message and suddenly he moves in closer and presses a soft kiss to my lips, before he moves back and sits down on one of the barstools. _What the hell just happened?!_

"Okay, so tell me about our daughter." He says casually and I'm sure I'm staring at him like a complete idiot.

"What?" I murmur confused. _Maybe I zoned out for a moment and it didn't happen. Oh joy, now it happened, I have lost my mind!_

"You've just told me that Mia will be back soon with our daughter, and I would like to know more about her before I meet her." He says, but is giving me an odd look.

Alright, he wants to play games, so be it. I'll figure this shit out myself and if I find out that he is playing some sort of fucked up game with me, I'll beat him to a pulp, preferably with Kelsey's dead body!

"Chrissie is a great child. She is very articulate for age, she likes to draw and play outside. She loves to dance and just started to take ballet lessons, she could spend all day in the pool if I would let her and she desperately wants a dog, but after she managed to kill three goldfishes, we have agreed that she is too young to have a dog. Sometimes she can be a little stubborn, but I guess between the two of us that was to be expected." I tell him, deciding that if he can act like he didn't just kiss me, then I can do that too, and he chuckles.

"I guess you are right about that... so her name is Chrissie?" He asks and I smile, but inwardly I frown. _Wait a fucking second, he has called her Chrissie before... what the fuck is going on here?_

"Her full name is Christian Grace Grey, though everyone calls her Chrissie." I reply, deciding that I will try to figure this out later. Chrissie will be back home soon and I don't want her to walk in on me screaming at her father.

"Wow, you named her after me?" He seems to be really moved and I nod.

"Yes, do you want to see a picture of her?"

"Yes, that would be great."

I lead him into the living room and take my favorite picture of her along with the most recent one from above the fireplace and show them to him. I watch him as he looks at them and tears are gleaming in his eyes.

"She is beautiful and she looks happy. Does she know me... I mean has she seen pictures of me?"

"Of course, she has seen many pictures of you and home videos from your childhood. We all tried to make you a part of her life and now that she knows that you are alive, she is thrilled to meet you. I didn't want our daughter to grow up like I did."

"What do you mean?" He asks and we both sit down.

"My biological father died the day after I was born and my mother... she never got over it. When I asked her about him, she would start to cry or change the subject. So, I never really brought him up, I didn't want to hurt my mom... so he never really became important to me... I had Ray and he was the best father a girl could ask for. Still, I always wanted to know so much more about Frank Lambert. So, we all made sure that even in your absence you would be a part of Chrissie's life."

"I'm glad you did that... shit, why am I so nervous about this?" He mutters and that makes me giggle.

"Well, it's not everyday that you meet your child for the first time, oh and just one thing... please do not spoil her."

"Why?" He asks and I motion for him to follow me. I lead him up to the first floor and to the room that I refer to as the toy store.

"Your parents, Mia and Elliot are spoiling her rotten already, look." I open the door and his mouth pops open.

"What the fuck? Where does she sleep?" He asks and looks around.

"That's not her bedroom; this is what I call the toy store. Your family bought all of this for her. I have tried to tell them so often to stop buying things for her, but it was to no help, so please the last thing our daughter needs are any more toys."

"I can see that, Christ, does she play with all of this stuff?"

"We have a three toys rule, every morning she is allowed to come in here and take three toys she wants to play with during the day out. This year before Christmas, I will go through all the toys with her and we will donate the things she doesn't play with. I can't stand the thought that our daughter has all this stuff she barely uses and other kids have no toys at all."

"That's a good plan..." Christian is interrupted when we both here Chrissie calling out for me. "Is that... I mean ... that's her? She is here?" Christian looks actually scared, but before I can say anything, I hear footsteps coming closer.

"I'm here sweetheart." I call out and Chrissie turns the corner, sees Christian and comes to an abrupt halt. Her eyes are as big as saucers when she sees her father for the first time. I crouch down and smile at her.

"Come to mommy, baby girl, it's alright." I tell her and she runs into my arms. "Did you have a good time with Auntie Mia?" I ask her and she nods still looking at Christian, so I get up with her in my arms.

"Hi Chrissie... I'm ... I..." Christian stutters and Chrissie takes pity on him. "My Daddy." She finishes the sentence for him.

"Yes, I am... you are very pretty, just like your mommy." He says and Chrissie holds her arms out to him, so he takes her from me.

"Did you arrive with a slate?" She asks making both me and Christian frown.

"A slate?"

"Yes, Uncle Lelliot and me went to see Santa when it was cold. He asked me what I want for Christmas and I told him I want my Daddy. He said it might take some time because that's a huuuugggggeeeee wish. Did Santa pick you up with his slate and the reindeers in heaven? Is Rudolf's nose really red? Did you live on a cloud? Are all angels blonde and pretty like on TV?" She asks and I have to bite the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from laughing.

"Wow, you sure have a whole lot of questions, huh? How about we sit down in your room and I tell you all about how I found my way back here."

"Okay, but can you call Santa and tell him that Chrissie Grey said thank you?"

"Let's talk first." He says and I point to the door of Chrissie's room. Once they are inside I lean against the wall of the hallway for a moment trying to rein my emotions in.

"It's hard for you, isn't it?" I turn around when I hear Mia's voice and quickly hug her.

"I need to fix lunch; do you want a glass of cherry lemonade?"

"As if you have to ask, you know I'm addicted to any kind of lemonade you make."

"And even with my recipe you can't make it taste like mine." I tease her with a wink and we make our way to the kitchen, where I place a glass of lemonade on the breakfast bar for Mia and continue to make lunch.

"I'm sorry, Ana."

"About what?" I ask a little confused and Mia sighs.

"I am... I mean we all are just so happy and ecstatic that Christian is back, that I didn't really have taken into account that for you it must be really hard... and I was wondering, does he know?"

"That it is not easy for me that he is back and happily married?"

"No, that your answer was yes." She says and I close my eyes and shake my head.

"No, what good would it do, Mia? Christian is married and he seems to be very much in love. They have been together for three years. It wouldn't matter for him to know that a girl he only dated for less than a month was willing to marry him."

"I think he has a right to know."

"Mia please, I just can't. It's already painful as it is, but if I would tell him and he would just shrug it off or worse tell me that he is happy how everything turned out, because he found his wife in the process... it would kill me, Mia. I'm trying so hard to just be happy over the fact that he is alive and that my daughter will grow up knowing her father, but it's hard not to feel sorry for myself and I hate it."

Mia gives me a sad smile. "I get it and you have every right to feel that way. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be in your position, but please don't forget that we are all here for you. We are a family, Ana and that won't change."

"Mommy!" Chrissie calls out and I hear her on the stairs.

"No running on the stairs, Christian!" I shout back and Mia and I both laugh when not only Chrissie, but Christian too shouts back. "I wasn't running."

"I was talking to our daughter." I giggle when Christian and Chrissie come into the kitchen.

"Oh ... yeah right, man that's confusing." He mutters grinning and Chrissie jumps in my arms.

"Mommy, Daddy wants to take me out for lunch and we'll have lots of ice-cream but I'm not supposed to tell. Can I go, please?" She asks and looks at me pleadingly.

"Sure, I'll tell Sawyer that you will leave."

"We don't need security, Ana." Christian says slightly pissed.

"Christian please, Luke can tail you, but I can't allow you to take Chrissie out in public without security, it's not safe." I will him with my eyes not to fight me on this and he nods. What I haven't told him is, that right now, I don't trust him enough to let him go anywhere with our daughter. I need to figure out what he is up to and I know Sawyer won't leave them out of sight.

"Okay, so is there anything I need to know... I mean does she need diapers or is there anything she is not allowed to eat?"

"She is three years old, Christian, Chrissie will tell you when she needs to use the bathroom and as for food, just nothing too spicy or really sugary stuff. Ask if the place you are taking her to has a kids menu. Wait, I'll make you list of places in the area with kids menus."

I quickly write down a list of some kid friendly places and hand it to him. After I've told Chrissie to behave and have a good time with her Daddy, I watch them leave and wait for Mia to eat her lunch while I'm just picking at my food. Why does he want me to trust him? Why did he kiss me and act as if it didn't happen? I need to figure this out and since he doesn't seem to be willing to give me answers, I might as well start to find them myself.

As soon as Mia has left, I make my way up to the attic and look around for the cardboard boxes that have been stored here ever since I've moved in here with Chrissie. Inside is every newspaper article and police report that was made after Charlie Tango crashed. There are also the reports of the manufacturer of Charlie Tango, because that's where it was send after the crash. Four years ago, I couldn't bring myself to look at all the reports, afraid that I would find out just how much Christian had to suffer before his death, but now I'm ready to read every tiny piece of information in those boxes.

_I'm going to figure this mess out, even if it is the last thing I'll do! _


	6. Chapter 6

_**To answer some of the questions that were frequently asked: **_

_**1\. Christian is going to tell Ana the truth in chapter 9... so it won't be long now...**_

_**2\. Again, Elena is not involved in this, she won't be a part of the story in anyway...**_

_**3\. Ana might be starting to go on dates very soon... and Christian won't like it ;-)**_

_**BTW this chapter is also starting to get into a topic which will become more important once the mystery surrounding Christian's kidnapping is solved...**_

_**In addition some of you wanted to know why Grace didn't like Kelsey... it will be explained in chapter 7...**_

_**And for those of you who wanted some Christian and Chrissie bonding time, there will be plenty of it once the mystery is solved in chapter 10 and 11, but right now I'm focusing on the whole mystery so I won't have to drag it out for too long...**_

* * *

_**Christian**_

"Come on, babe. Please?" I stare at Kelsey and wish she would just get the god damn message. How many times do I have to fucking tell that I won't fuck her for her to get it?

"Kelsey, I can't, not now. I need to figure this out."

"You haven't touched me in nearly five months, Alex..."

"It's Christian for fuck sake." I murmur, is she really too stupid to remember my name? And with that her tears start to roll down her face.

"I know and I am so happy that you got your memories back, that you remember who you truly are... but it feels like the man I have married just disappeared the day you've remembered. Do you love her? Do you want to be with Anastasia?" She asks as she closes her robe and I refuse to look at her. _Yes, I fucking want Ana, but I can't be with her until I have figured out what you are up to, bitch!_

"Kelsey ... look, I need to go, I have an appointment."

"With her? Is this where you are going?"

"No, I'm going to see an old friend. His name is John Flynn, he was my shrink. I don't want to keep hurting you, so I need to figure this out. I'll see you later."

Without looking back I leave our hotel suite and get into the garage. I'm just about to get into my old as fuck rental car when I see it. My R8! Fuck, my car! It makes me smile so brightly my cheeks start to hurt. I wanted to pick it up today, but this is even better! I take the keys Ana has given me yesterday from my pants pocket and press the button. When I open the door and slide into the driver's seat I see a note on the passenger seat and grab it.

_Boys and their toys._

_Have fun._

_Ana_

_P.S.: It truly is a great car._

For a moment I stare at the note, trying to push the emotions this simple note evokes back, Taylor has to find something... anything, so I can be with Ana again. I put the note in my pocket and start to drive. By the time I reach Flynn's office I feel a bit more like myself and a tiny part of me is childishly thrilled to see the look of shock on Flynn's face. He has no idea I am back and since I'm still officially dead I made the appointment under Alexander Fisher, not Christian Grey.

The first thing I notice is that Barbara his former secretary is no longer here and in her place is a women in her late fifties who tells me to just go through. I step into his office, John looks up and now I am the one surprised, because he is smiling.

"Christian, you have no idea how good it is to see you. I have to say, I have really missed you." John says and I frown.

"How did you know?"

"Anastasia is my patient. Has been for the last four years." He answers and I nod.

"She really did take over my life, did she?" I ask.

"Well, you have left her everything you own. Did you believe she would just sell Grey Enterprises and move on when you made the changes in your will?" He asks and I snort.

"When I did that I was picturing myself growing old with her. I didn't expect that just two days later everything would turn into a pile of shit. And ... well, I guess I never thought Ana would want to keep GEH or that she could make it work."

"Then why leave it to her?"

"Because I wanted to know that if anything was to happen to me, that she was at least financially secured. I wanted to give her everything that I own."

"Or maybe you knew exactly that she would never just sell your company and you hoped that by giving it all to her she would be reminded of you every day of her life?" He asks and I glare at him.

"So, I assume I am right?"

"Maybe, fuck John, right now, I feel like I know nothing. I'm trying to figure this all out and I hit one dead end after another... I want my life back... well kind of."

"Kind of?" He asks and while I can't tell him about the whole mess that I am in, I can at least share something with him I haven't told anyone else so far.

"I don't want to be the man I was all of my life again, John. Losing my memory was hard, but it also showed me that I can be a normal guy. Fuck, look at me. I'm buying clothes at Walmart these days, my rental car is as old as the bible and I haven't had a decent glass of wine in four years, but you know what... I was happy. I didn't feel the urge to constantly prove myself to the world, I wasn't the fuck up. The son of a crack whore... I was just an average Joe and it made me happy."

"Did you have any nightmares in the time you had lost your memories?"

"No, nothing, my fear of being touched was gone too, the nightmares are back and the one time Kelsey touched my chest since I have my memories back it freaked me out so much that I punched her in the face by accident."

"But it wasn't an issue before?"

"No, I mean, I was sure that the scars are burns even then, but I never gave it much thought. Now, it's all back to my old ways and I'm not sure that I want to be that person again, John."

"Christian, you decide who you want to be... have you considered to stay in Alabama?"

"That's not an option, I want to be close to my family, especially now that I have a daughter."

"Ahh, so you've met Chrissie?"

"Yes, she is amazing, John. I mean she is so smart for her age and she acted as if I had been with her all of her life."

"Well, in way you have. Ana always made sure that your daughter would know you. And of course, your daughter has always been around your family, so in a way you have always been a constant in her life."

"Why do you think, Ana has done that?"

"Ana grew up in a very similar situation to your daughter, her father died the day after she was born, so she never had the chance to get to know him. I believe Ana was trying to give her daughter what she was missing herself as a child, because her mother always avoided to talk about anything related to her father."

"But she had Ray."

"Yes, but children want to know where they are coming from. It's important and Ana wanted her daughter to know that she had a wonderful father." He says and I can't help but snort.

"I was a fuck up, John. Christ, do you want to know what I said to Ana right before I took her virginity? I told her that taking her to my bed and making love to her is a means to an end. I wanted to spank her every time she rolled her eyes at me... do you have any idea how often I roll my fucking eyes? I can hardly believe that there was anything nice, Ana could have said about me, because even when I thought I was trying to be more for her, I was still a colossal fuck up."

"Christian, you are giving yourself way too little credit here... if you truly want to know what the people you love think about you, then ask your parents or Ana if they have a copy of the eulogy."

"Eulogy?"

"Your eulogy. It was quite moving. Both your parents, your siblings and Ana said something about you, because they wanted everyone to know the real you, not the person you were in the light of the public. I think if you do watch the video, it will help you a lot."

"John, people lie at funerals, because no one wants to say that the guy in the casket was the biggest asshole on the planet."

"Really? Because if I do remember it correctly your father started off with a line like... _I had beautiful dark blonde hair once, it all turned grey through Christian's teenage years... Christ, I wanted to kill the boy myself._" John says and I can't help but laugh.

"He said that?"

"Yes, but he also said that being your father has made him a better person and that he'd give anything to be the one lying in that casket, just so you could still be alive. Like I've said is was very moving and I do believe that watching it will help you a great deal."

"What did Ana say?"

"Christian, I can tell you what she said if that is what you want, but I do believe you have to see it yourself, just so you can fully understand how much she truly loves you. Her emotions that day... her strength, it was impressive. What you should know is that we all weren't sure if Ana would even say anything at all. Her stepfather and Elliot had to help her walk, she could barely hold herself up that day and she hadn't talk since you "died", but she went up there and she gave one of the most moving speeches I have ever witnessed." He says and just imagining what Ana must have been through, makes me feel so guilty... I need to figure this all out, I want her back.

"Well, I guess I could ask for the tape." I look at my watch and shrug. "Looks like our time is up, can I come back on Friday?"

"Of course, I think my calendar is full on Friday, but you can stop by around noon and we can talk over lunch."

After leaving John's office I get into my car and start to drive, without even thinking about it I find myself at Escala. Well, fuck it, Ana gave me the codes, so I might as well make a stop. I'm sure as hell not going to bring Kelsey here, the last thing I need is for her to find the playroom or taint the memories of Ana and I that Escala holds for me.

Five minutes later I step out of the elevator and walk into the penthouse. Damn, it's still the same. Ana really didn't change a thing. It's so weird being back here. I step closer into the apartment and suddenly I hear something that sounds as if someone was hammering on the keys of my piano. What the fuck?

When the piano comes into my line of vision I smirk. It's Chrissie, she is sitting on the piano bench and is happily pressing the keys on the piano.

"Hey princess!" I call out and she stops and spins around.

"Daddy!" She squeals and flies into my arms. I catch her and lift her up in my arms. Man, just looking at her and knowing that this little girl is my daughter fills me with so much pride and joy it's unreal.

"Hi, having fun playing the piano?" I ask her and she bites her lip... like mother like daughter...

"Mommy says I'm not allowed to play with the piano, but it's fun."

"Is your mommy here too?"

"Mommy and I woke up late so we went to the city to have chocolate shakes and pancakes to cheer us up, but Mommy tripped and all of her shake spilled on her shirt." She tells me with dramatic gestures and I laugh.

"Your mommy is a little clumsy, but we keep that a secret." I tell her with a wink and she giggles.

"Chrissie have you been playing with the piano again?" I hear Ana's voice and fuck me, she steps out of my bedroom only wearing a towel and while drying her hair with another one. _Down boy, I will not be standing her with a hard on, while I'm holding my daughter in my arms!_

"No mommy, it was daddy." She says and I raise an eyebrow at my daughter.

"We talked about lying, Christian Grace! Now I'm asking you again, did you play with the piano?" Ana looks up and blushes which makes me smirk.

"Umm... hi ... I didn't know you would be here."

"I didn't know I would come to Escala until I found myself outside. Where is the security?"

"Taylor is buying a change of clothes for me, I have no clothes here and I managed to ruin my white shirt and jeans with a chocolate shake." She says and takes Chrissie from my arms.

"Now Chrissie, did you play with the piano?" She ask her and Chrissie nods shyly.

"Then why did you lie and tell me it was your daddy?"

"Because you told me no and I did it anyway." She mumbles and fuck if my daughter isn't the cutest kid ever.

"So you first played with the piano when I told you no and then you lied, that makes six little Miss Grey." She says and Chrissie starts to scream and kick trying to get away from Ana. Oh fuck, is she going to spank her?

"Chrissie you have three seconds to quit this behavior or we are up to twelve!" Ana threatens and I am just about to step in and say something when she pulls one of the chairs in the sitting area out, so that it is facing the wall and sits Chrissie down on it.

"Six minutes, Chrissie and if you try to get up before that you are going to sit there double the time." Ana says sternly and walks back over to me.

"Sorry, but Chrissie has just reached the phase where she tries to avoid punishments by blaming someone else or flat out lie to my face and I'm not having it."

"No, I get it, I just thought you were going to spank her."

"So far, I did not have to do it and I would like to keep it that way. Do you want something to drink? Gail keeps the pantry stocked in case I come over for lunch breaks."

"Yes, a water would be nice. Listen, I was thinking maybe I could pick Chrissie up tomorrow and spend some time with her. Is there anything she likes to do?"

"Actually, that would be great, I have some doctors appointments tomorrow, can you pick her up around ten in the morning?"

"Yes, sure... but you are fine, right?"

"Yes, it's just an annual check up and while I am at it I also made an appointment with Dr. Greene and my dentist. Oh and Chrissie really loves to go the Seattle Aquarium, I wanted to take her there next week, but you can take her tomorrow if you like."

"Sounds good, and thanks for having the R8 delivered to the hotel."

"It's your car. Has Carrick said anything when we can get the rest done?"

"No, but he called me this morning, he cashed in some favors to get the permission to exhume the body in my grave it will be done tomorrow, but we want to keep things low key for now, so besides my parents and siblings, you are the only one who knows that they will dig out the body tomorrow."

"You haven't told your wife?" She asks.

"No."

We are interrupted by Taylor who comes in and hands Ana a shopping bag, she excuses herself and tells me to let Chrissie of the chair in two minutes which makes Taylor smirk.

"Does she get in trouble a lot, Jason?" I ask him.

"Not, really Sir. Chrissie just likes to push her boundaries like any other child."

"Good, so has Welch found any connection?"

"Nothing, Ros Bailey doesn't know anyone from Alabama, there are no phone records that show any calls to Alabama, Sir. However, you need to consider to tell Ana the truth. She is on to something."

"What?"

"She is going through all of the files surrounding the Charlie Tango crash. She has been up in the attic all night. She has pint notes to the walls and I've read some of them. She is questioning why and how you ended up in Alabama, she is questioning if Ros could have been lying... Mr. Grey, I have always been loyal to both Ana and you, but if you don't tell her within the next 48 hours, then I am going to tell her. At this points we have no idea how long it will take to figure this all out and if Ana figures this all out before we do, she will be hell on wheels."

"Taylor if we couldn't figure this out, how is Ana going to figure this out on her own?"

"You are underestimating her, Mr. Grey. She is a very smart young woman and she is determined, I believe once she has put her mind to something, she is capable to achieve just about anything. You weren't there to see her change in the past four years, but believe me, Anastasia Steele is not a woman you want to mess with." He says and for some strange reasons it makes me proud to hear how strong Ana has become in the past four years.

"Fine, I'll tell her, just give me time to figure out how." I don't want Ana to get herself into trouble or to put herself at risk, and with her trying to figure this out on her own, she is probably end up doing just that...

* * *

_**I won't be able to update for a few days, my laptop is constantly shutting down, which is absolutely annoying, so I have to bring it to the Apple-store to get it repaired...**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I had to steal my hubbies laptop to post this ;-) Mine won't be fixed until next week, so I can only update this story, because this chapter was already written and I can only use my hubbies laptop for like ten minutes... **_

* * *

_**Ana**_

After my doctor's appointments are all over, I went to Pike Market to buy some groceries and I picked up some ice cream from Stone Cold. Ever since I was pregnant with Chrissie I am addicted to their ice cream, especially the flavor peanut butter cup perfection. Yummy! And while I was at it I also got myself one of their blueberry banana smoothies to go. I guess I should feel a little guilty to have so much sugary stuff after just coming from my dentist, but I just couldn't resist.

Christian has sent me some texts through out the day so I know that Chrissie is fine and having a lot of fun with him. He doesn't have to, since Sawyer would alert me if anything would happen, but I really appreciate that he is so thoughtful.

"Hey, there is my favorite little sis!" I hear Elliot's cheerful voice while I am unloading my grocery bags in the kitchen.

"Hi Elliot, I didn't know you would come over today." I say and watch him get himself a beer from the fridge.

"Yes, I was done with work early today and wasn't in the mood for take out, so I thought I stop by and invite myself for dinner." He says with a big smile and I roll my eyes.

"Well, the more the merrier, right?"

"Cool, so where is my niece?"

"Right now she is in the ferris wheel by the bay with her Daddy." I show him the picture that Christian has sent me about ten minutes ago and he smiles.

"Well, that is great, you know, that you let them spend time together and everything." He says and I frown.

"Christian is her father, what kind of mother would I be if I wouldn't fully support that my daughter has a good relationship with her father?"

"It wasn't meant as an insult and... man I shouldn't bring that up, but you know with his lifestyle and all... "

"Elliot please, we have talked about this, Elena Lincoln trapped him in this lifestyle. And it has nothing to do with abilities of being a good father. What he does behind closed doors is none of our business and I doubt that he is even practicing the lifestyle anymore, so let's not talk about this. Tell me how did your date go?"

"Got laid, not going to call her again." He says and I sigh.

"Elliot, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you still think about what could have been with Kate?"

"I don't know, maybe... fuck, I really thought she was something special, but she sold us out, Ana."

"She sold me out and... look, I have met Ethan some time ago and he told me that Kate never really moved on from you. Maybe it is time to just forgive and forget. Look her up, ask her if she wants to have a coffee with you and hear her side of the story. You deserve to be happy."

"Ana, how could I be happy with a woman who claimed to love me, who claimed to be your best friend and then she writes an article about you like that. She exposed you to all kind of dangers by announcing publicly that you are the sole heiress of Christian's fortune and that you are expecting his child." He says angrily and I sigh.

"I know that Elliot, but I just don't want you to live with any regrets. You don't want to wake up one day and realize that it is too late, I just don't want that for you."

"We'll see, so what are you are you going to make me for dinner, Sis?"

"Well, you are lucky; I went to Pike Market earlier and bought this." I lift the lobster that I had placed by the sink and his eyes get big.

"Lobster?" He asks and I nod.

"Yup, I also have crab legs, shrimps and some other things. How about we forget all table manners for tonight and I use the recipe that the cook at the Crab Pot gave me."

"Fuck yes; man I knew coming here tonight would be better than ordering something or getting take out." He says and rubs his palms together which makes me smile. And because I know that Elliot is always hungry I open the fridge again and place a plate with sandwiches in front of him.

"Here to help you survive until dinner." I wink at him and he digs right in. Since, my research hasn't helped me much so far, I decide to see if Elliot can help me out.

"Christian told me he is still staying at a hotel, because Grace and Kelsey don't get along." I mutter casually and get myself an orange soda from the fridge.

"Yeah, you could say that. Fuck, Kelsey is a bitch! You are lucky you didn't join the family dinner from hell a couple of days ago." He says and gets up to get himself another beer from the fridge.

"Why?"

"At first, Kelsey acted all nice and sweet, but none of us fell for it, she seemed nervous and all. Then she excused herself to use the restroom and Mom walked in on her calling someone. She called you a bitch, questioned if Chrissie is really Christian's daughter and called us all snobby, arrogant rich people and that if it was up to her she would want Christian to cut all ties with us and return to Alabama with her. Mom really let her have it and told Christian point blank that he is welcome to stay at her house, but Kelsey is not. Then Kelsey called mom the mother in law from hell and Christian had to literally drag her out of the house."

"Wow, isn't she lovely."

"I know, right? Fuck me, I hope Christian comes to his senses and tells her where to go. Honestly, do you think I'm a snobby, arrogant rich guy?" Elliot asks and rips one.

"Ewww! You are such a pig sometimes!" I try to sound admonishing, but I'm actually laughing.

"What, you should feel honored that I am so comfortable around you, Sis. Well, and glad that we didn't know each other back when I was a teen. Christian and I used to fart in Mia's face just to piss her off."

"That is so nasty, why would you do that?" I giggle.

"It was fun back then." He shrugs.

"Well, I'm glad that I didn't know you back then... because I would have killed you." I mutter and check my phone again to see if I have any e-mails, but there are no important ones.

I'm just half way through cooking dinner when Christian and Chrissie arrive back. Christian looks so pissed that I immediately ask Elliot to help Chrissie wash her hands and change for dinner.

"What is wrong, Christian?" I ask and he slams Chrissie's bracelet onto the kitchen counter.

"What the fuck, Anastasia? I thought you would trust me! Do you honestly think that I would take our daughter and just run with her?" He asks and I realize that he isn't angry, he is hurt.

"Christian, it's not what you are thinking."

"Not what I am thinking? You've put a tracker on our daughter, Ana! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He yells and I glare at him.

"Christian, I didn't put a tracker on her because she was out with you! She always wears tracking devises, the bracelet, her earrings, her backpack, hell the fucking soles of her shoes have trackers and there is nothing I wish more than that it wasn't necessary, but it is."

"Why?" He asks more calmly and sits down.

"Do you have any idea how many threats are coming in every single day regarding Chrissie? There have been some so graphic that it made both Taylor and Welch physically sick. There is one Agent at the FBI who is solely working on finding the people who sent those threats. Some are so sick and twisted that my own security won't let me see them. At one point it got so bad that having a tracker implanted under her skin became an option that was being discussed and the only reason why we didn't went through with it is that I refuse to mark my daughter like a freaking dog. I'm terrified, Christian and if I have to put tracker on all of her clothes and have two CPO's follow her everywhere to ensure her safety, then that is what I'm going to do. And you want to know the worst part? All of us had agreed to keep Chrissie's existence a secret to save her from all of this and it was my best friend who back stabbed me and wrote an article about my pregnancy, that I was your sole heiress and just everything. No one even had me on the radar back then and since then there wasn't a single day without death threats, threats telling me how they will kidnap and rape our daughter and there is no end in sight..."

I stop and take a deep shuddering breath. "I'm sorry, I should have told you about the tracker, but it just slipped my mind."

"No, I'm sorry; I didn't even take into account that this could have been a safety measure."

"It's okay, and since we are already on the topic... I have someone who is following you." I tell him and his eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Well, isn't it obvious, someone wanted you dead or at least wanted that everyone thinks you are dead. We have no clue who is buried in your grave and you showing up here in Seattle could rattle the cage for someone. Therefore, Taylor and I have agreed that it would be best to have someone who is shadowing you."

I prepare myself to be on the receiving end of a full blown Christian Grey temper tantrum, but instead he starts to laugh.

"You think this is funny?"

"No, but damn, I feel like our roles are reversed. Miss Steele you are a control freak." He chuckles, but I can't see the funny side of it.

"Well, I have already buried you once; I'm not ready to do it again anytime soon." I snap, my voice sounding way harsher than I intended it to be.

"I'm sorry; I know it must have been a really hard time for you."

"You could say that." I scoff and stir the food.

"Okay, I guess I'll say goodbye to Chrissie and get going." He says and I sigh when I hear his stomach rumble.

"You can stay for dinner. I'm sure Chrissie would love it to have you read her, her bedtime story tonight." I say and come up with an idea. "You can call your wife and ask her to join us, too." I continue even though I don't want her here, but maybe I can get her to make some sort of mistake or at least press her for some information on how Christian was found in Alabama.

"Kelsey went back to Alabama for a couple of days, she will be back next week... and I would like to stay for dinner. What are you cooking?" _Okay, I didn't expect that, but I will make sure to ask Welch to check if she has really left town and to put her under surveillance from now on. _

"Lobster and other seafood, Crab Pot style."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You've never eaten at Crab Pot?" I ask surprised and he shakes his head.

"Well, Mr. Grey, then you are in for a surprise. Though you might have to fight for your food with Elliot, I swear he has a black hole where other people have a stomach."

"Yeah, that would be my brother; he always ate as if it was his last meal. Does he stop by often?" Christian asks and for some reason he doesn't seem to like the thought.

"He stops by for dinner at least once or twice a week. Or he stops by to visit Chrissie, they are very close."

"My mother told me that you had them and my siblings with you when you gave birth to Chrissie." He says and I smile.

"Yes, I wanted our daughter to know that she is loved by so many amazing people right from the start and... having your family there with me was the closest to having you with me that I could have at the time."

"Why didn't you invite your Dad too?" He asks and I can help the tears that coming to my eyes when he mentions Ray.

"Two days before I turned twenty-two Ray was in a car accident. A drunk driver drove into the passenger side of Jose's dad's car, it was where Ray was sitting and... at first it looked like he was going to make it. He was in Portland in a hospital and was later air lifted to Seattle. Three weeks after my birthday I received a call from the hospital. Ray passed away in his sleep... I was with him only hours before it happened... there were no signs that he was about to die... the doctors said it was heart failure. So, yeah that's why I couldn't ask Ray to be there during Chrissie's birth."

"I'm so, so sorry, Ana. I didn't know that he passed away so shortly after what happened to me."

"It's okay; you had no way of knowing when Ray has passed away. Anyway... would you help me sat up the table?" I ask desperate to change the topic and he takes pity on me.

"Sure, where are the place mats?" He wants to know and I shake my head.

"You can just put a wax table cloth on the table and some baking paper on top of that; it's both in the cupboard over there." I point in the direction and even though he seems to be a bit confused by my request he does it and just when he is finished Elliot and Chrissie emerge in the kitchen and sit at the table for our meal.

Christian's face when I just dump the food in the middle of the table is priceless and I have to look away so I won't laugh at him. So, I busy myself by fixing a plate for Chrissie and myself while Elliot is already digging in with both hands filling his plate in lightning speed.

"Daddy eat. It's yummy." Chrissie says when she notices that Christian isn't eating.

"I umm... where are the bowls?"

"We don't need one, really, you've never went to eat at the Crab Pot or a place like that? Shame on you, Mr. Grey and you have lived on the coast most parts of your life." I giggle and place Chrissie's plate in front of her.

"But it's just dumped on tab..." He wants to start again, but I quickly snap a crab leg dip it into the melted butter and shove it in his mouth. For a second he gives me the most appalled look, but then he chews and seems pleasantly surprised, because he starts load his plate and by the time we finish eating there is no food left on the table and Elliot actually had to open the top button of his jeans which made me laugh.

"Do not laugh, sis. Seriously, I should have dragged you down the aisle right after our first date, just so I could have you cook for me every day." He says with a wink and Christian who just took a sip of his beer starts to cough.

"You two were dating?" He asks and this time there is no doubt that he is seriously pissed.

"Nah, Mia kind of forced us on a date. We just went out to grab a bite to eat, played some pool and then I drove her back home. I thought I give her a kiss good night and the little ego buster over there started to laugh her head off."

"Oh come on! You laughed yourself; it just felt all kinds of wrong and ridiculous to kiss you. You know I love you with all my heart, El, but you are a brother to me."

"OK, you are right, still I'm the most handsome guy who ever asked you on a date. It can only go down hill from now on." He says smugly and I giggle.

"Of course, once you go Grey there is no other way, or what?" I snort and both Christian and Elliot are laughing now.

"Exactly." The both say at the same time.

"I'll keep that in mind. Now, Chrissie it's getting late, time for your bath and then it's bedtime."

"I want Daddy to bath me and tuck me in, mommy."

"Ok, I'll kiss you goodnight, after your daddy has read you your bedtime story." I say, but Christian quickly pulls me aside.

"I... um... is it really appropriate for me to bathe her?" He asks and I giggle.

"She is three years old, Christian. It's fine. As long as she isn't old enough to bathe herself it's completely appropriate for you, your dad or even Elliot to help her and just a tip, don't use too much of her bubble bath, she will tell you to use the entire bottle, but two bottle caps are enough or you have to get in yourself to find her between all the bubbles... oh and put her on the toilet first, she thinks it's funny to pee in the tub."

"Alright, not more than two bottle caps of bubble bath and no peeing in the water, I think I can manage that." He smirks and I laugh.

"I would hope so."

I watch as he picks Chrissie up and walks upstairs with her and get myself a beer from the fridge.

"Would you mind if Christian and I have a few beers down in the men cave?" Elliot asks. When we went through the plans for the remodeling of this house there were two rooms in the basement that I really had no use for and Elliot came up with the idea of a men cave. At first I had no idea why I would need one, but I gave in because I thought it was nice for the security to use on their days off or for Elliot and Carrick when they are over here.

"Sure, I have some work to do anyway, maybe ask Jason if he wants to join the two of you. He has the night off and Gail is meeting with her sister, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind to have a couple of beers."

"Cool, I'll ask him." I watch Elliot take off too and clean the table before I head upstairs to kiss Chrissie goodnight. Then I walk up the stairs to the attic and look at all of my notes. I know that there has to be something... I feel like I'm just missing one piece of the puzzle to clue it all together, but I just can't find the missing link...


	8. Chapter 8

_**I can use my hubby's laptop to update today and tomorrow... so you'll get chapter 9 tomorrow, after that I won't be updating until I get my laptop back, because my hubby has to go to London for work... Anyway, this chapter might be a little surprising, but keep in mind that Ana has been through hell and back for the last four years...**_

* * *

**Ana**

The next morning I am up early for an international phone conference and when I am finished with that I make my way into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, but I am surprised to find that Gail is already there.

"Good morning, Gail. You are up, early." I say and she turns around.

"Good morning, Ana. Actually, I never went to sleep last night. Jason didn't come home and he left his phone, so I have no way of reaching him. It's so unlike him, I'm really worried." She says and frown.

"One second, Gail." I hurry to the front door look outside and sure enough there are the cars of Elliot and Christian still parked in the driveway. I make my way back into the kitchen and motion for Gail to follow me. Nothing though could have prepared us for what we would find in the men cave.

Elliot is passed out drunk on the floor and someone has placed beer bottles all around him in his exact body shape. However even more funny or maybe even shocking is the picture right in front of us, where Jason and Christian are asleep on the couch and it actually looks as if they were cuddling.

I look from them to Gail and back again, not sure if I should be laughing or really pissed at the three passed out men in my basement.

"Did you know that they would be here all night drinking?" Gail whispers and that gives me an idea.

"No, but I believe they are in for a little wake up call. And by little I am thinking of a very energetic three year old." I grin and Gail nods in agreement. Careful not to wake him up we remove the bottles from around Elliot, because the last thing I want is him to make a sudden movement when Chrissie comes in here and we have the entire floor full of broken glass.

A little later I go upstairs to wake Chrissie up and smile when she stretches and just jumps out of the bed. My daughter is a little ball of energy every morning, it's like you wake her and she is wide awake in an instant ready to go. _I wish I was the same way..._

After I've helped her to wash herself and she has brushed her teeth, I pick an outfit for her and put her hair into pigtails. When I look at her I can't help, but smile, I know I am biased, but my daughter is the most beautiful little girl in the world. She is wearing jeans shorts, little flip flops and a checkered blouse. I would love for her to wear dresses more often, but she is always running around outside and most of the time she manages to ruin her dresses the first time she wears them, so we keep them for special occasions.

"So, today it's not just you and I at breakfast."

"Who is coming over?"

"No one, your Daddy and Uncle Elliot never left, they are in the room with the pool table in the basement. Do you want to wake them up for breakfast?"

"Yeahhhh!" She squeals and I decide to carry her down to the basement, because she is so pumped right now, I'm afraid she will fall down the stairs.

Gail follows us into the basement and I open the door for Chrissie who bursts into the room and jumps right on top of Elliot to wake him up.

"Up, Uncle Lelliot, breakfast up!" She squeals and Elliot groans and whimpers.

"Oh my God, what happened where am I?" He murmurs and blinks at Chrissie who is still using her uncle as a bouncy castle.

"Whoa, please stop, Peanut, your Uncle isn't feeling too good. Go wake your Dad and Jason." He pleads and Chrissie shoots over to her next victims. Gail and I really have to fight not to laugh when Chrissie climbs onto the couch and steps right on Jason's crotch whose eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

"OW!" He exclaims and stops himself from cussing when he sees Chrissie. Christian however just groans and cuddles closer to Jason which makes me snort with laughter.

"Daddy wake up!" Chrissie demands and leans forward to pull one of his eyelids open.

"Ow... Chrissie? Oh man, where am I?" He mutters and I can't help it.

"Probably in hangover hell." I giggle and both Gail and I nearly fall over from laughing when Christian and Jason both realize at the same time that they are still cuddled up on the sofa. They sit up abruptly and I jump forward to catch Chrissie who they nearly knocked to the floor.

"Careful! She could have hurt herself!" I hiss at them and storm out of the room while holding Chrissie tightly in my arms. _How can they act so careless? _

"Ana... wait." I hear Elliot behind me and stop by the stairs.

"Chrissie, why don't you go back to your Daddy, I need to talk to your Mommy real quick." He says and gently takes her from me before he sets her to her feet and she runs back to the men cave.

"Ana, this has to stop." He says sadly and it makes me even more angry.

"What? Haven't you seen what nearly happened, they almost dropped her... that's it Christian is not going to see her again." I fume and Elliot grabs me by the shoulders. I glare up at him.

"You can glare at me all you want, Sis, but it doesn't change the fact that you are overreacting."

"Don't tell me that I am fucking overreacting. Chrissie could have landed on her head she..."

"Ana stop! You need to stop this, you are driving yourself insane by trying to protect Chrissie from any possible harm. Yes, she could have fallen off the couch, but it didn't happen. Chrissie is three years old, Ana. You can't stop her from getting a bruise, scratch or bump every now and then. It's an impossible task."

"Well, I'll show you that it is possible. I won't allow anything to happen to my child." I insist and he sighs.

"It's not healthy, Ana. You have to let go just a little bit." He says almost pleadingly and I look away.

"I can't." I whisper and fight the tears that are starting to build in my eyes.

"Why?" He asks and it's like dam breaking and I can't hold the words back that are flowing out of me.

"Don't you see it? I mean... Ray is dead and I haven't talked to my mother in nearly three years... Kate and Jose aren't in my life anymore either and ... Christian... I don't even know what to say about him anymore... Chrissie is the only family I have left... if something happens to her... then I'm alone... with a job that I hate... alone in this house that was supposed to be a family home one day... and the longer I live here the more I hate this place because it's reminding me every day of what could have been... but at the same time I just can't let go... I'm trying so hard to keep everything together and I never felt more incompetent in all of my life... sometimes I don't even want to get up in the morning and... and... I just need to keep my baby safe... I can't lose her... there's just nothing left of me anymore..."

_**Elliot**_

I watch Ana sink to the floor in front of me, where she curls up into a ball and sobs her heart out. Fuck, I've never seen her break down like this. We all expected it to happen years ago, but she was always so strong... I guess we were all wrong about that.

I turn around when I hear something behind me and see my brother. He looks utterly stunned and shocked by the sight of Ana on the floor crying. Slowly he steps closer but I shake my head, motioning for him to go back to his daughter. Ana would hate it if he saw her like this and I am not even sure what he could do to make things better for her anyway. He is married and from the looks of it he is not going to leave his wife for Ana. For a moment he looks as if he is not getting the hint, but when I take a step forward to shield Ana from his view he glares at me and storms back into the men cave.

I crouch down next to Ana and stroke her hair. "Ana, please, don't cry. You are not alone; and you have a family, you have me, my parents, Mia... we won't ever leave you alone, Ana." I try to reassure her, but she lifts her head and looks at me sadly.

"But you will, I know you will. Christian is back and he is married. It's not fair for his wife to have his ex hang around all the time... at one point you all have to make a choice and it won't be me you choose. And that's how it should be... I just... I feel like everyone around is either leaving me or ends up dead. My biological father... Ray... Christian... my Mom... Kate... Jose... they are all gone in one way or the other and... and... I just feel so alone..." She sobs.

"You are not alone, Ana. You are family, Christian's wife has to deal with that or she has to stay away. I don't give a fuck if it's fair, to me you are my sister, just like Mia. Now come on, let's get you upstairs, you need to rest a little."

I pick her up and carry her to her bedroom. When she's asleep I leave the room only to find Christian leaning against the wall facing Ana's bedroom door.

"So, that's how it is?" He says in a chilling tone and I frown.

"Excuse me?"

"How long did it take Ana to jump from one brother to the other." He says and I pinch the bridge of my nose, fighting the urge to knock his lights out.

"Bro, I don't know what is going on in that head of yours, but Ana is like a sister to me. Accusing me of fucking her is like accusing me of fucking Mia."

He laughs bitterly. "Yeah right, I have seen you, how you went all protective of her. Just say it, Elliot."

"Christian, I'm telling you, I have never had sex with Ana nor do I want to. And yes, I am protective of her and I didn't want you to see her like that, because I know she would be acutely embarrassed if she would know that you witnessed her breakdown."

"So, you ... the biggest man whore in town are honestly telling me that you don't think Ana is attractive."

"Oh for the love of fuck, bro. Of course she is attractive and above that, she is the strongest, most caring and loveable woman I have met in all of my life. However, fact is that she is not available, even after all these years it is you whom she loves. Fuck, she has given up her career and everything that she loved to do just to keep GEH running. When the doctors told her that she would lose her child, she made sure it wouldn't happen by staying in bed for months. Sometimes she was in so much pain from laying in bed 24/7 that she was crying, but she refused any pain relief too afraid it would harm the baby. Do you want to know why she doesn't talk to her mom anymore?" I hiss and he nods wide eyed.

"Carla wanted Ana to sell GEH, take the money and just enjoy life. She wanted her to move on from you and start fresh, but Ana refused to do that. In the end she stopped to talk to her mom. Our mother talks to Carla from time to time, but Ana doesn't. She's blocked everyone out who somehow tried to make her move on. And like I've told you yesterday. Yes, I have been on a date with Ana. Mia forced us since she thought we would make a great couple. It was like having dinner with a sister and when I brought her home I thought I just kiss her, since that's what you do after a date. Ana started to laugh at me, she laughed so hard she had tears running down her face. So no, I don't want fuck Ana."

"And you want me to believe that... come on, Elliot, just admit it! You want Ana!" He hisses.

"No, I don't! But the really important question here is, why are you so jealous, bro? After all aren't you oh so happily married?"

"Because she is mine!"

"You mean she was, bro. You can't have them both and even if you would pick Ana, you are still married to another woman."

"I fucking know that. You know, maybe I just grab them both, move to Utah, become a Mormon and make Ana my second wife, problem solved."

"Ya think, because that little lady in their will cut your balls off and feed them to you if you even dare to mention that to her." I laugh and Christian flips me off.

"Well, I have one more week to figure it out." He mutters and I frown.

"What do you mean, you have one more week?"

"Kelsey, she made an ultimatum. I have one weeks to figure out what I really want. She wants me to figure out if I see my future with Ana or her. If I ask her to come back to Seattle she expects me to cut all ties with Ana or I have to let her go."

"I'm sorry to say that bro, but Ana is the mother of your child, you can't avoid seeing her at least until Chrissie turns 18 and even after that it's birthdays, college graduation..."

"Don't you think I know that... Christ, my life is a fucking mess, Elliot. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"It's simple Christian, either you want Ana or Kelsey... but honestly, your wife is a bitch, no offense. On the other hand, right now I don't know if I want you back with Ana either. You've treated her poorly, man. Believe me, the only reason why I haven't knocked your lights out so far is that I'm happy as fuck to have you back, but you keep hurting Ana and we will get into serious trouble with each other, the girl has been through enough!"

For the first time, my brother looks really guilty... _well, at least he knows that he has handled this situation all wrong..._

"Look, I'm trying, Elliot. I'm really fucking trying to figure this all out, but I just need some more time. Is Ana asleep?"

"Yes, she needs some rest."

"Good... so I know that might sound creepy, but I would like to watch her sleep for a while... I find it relaxing and comforting." He admits a little flustered.

"I'll be downstairs playing with Chrissie, just don't wake Ana up, she needs to rest a little."

"I won't." He replies and I watch him walk into Ana's room. Deep down, I know he has already made up his mind. He wants to be with Ana, it's clear as light, so why is still hanging on to his wife? It doesn't make sense, maybe I need to investigate that little wife of his a little further... something about all of this is really fishy!


	9. Chapter 9

_**So, here it is the chapter most of you have been waiting for... this chapter is not just important, because Christian is going to tell Ana the truth, but also because we'll find out who is buried in Christian's grave, which in fact is the missing link Ana needs to figure it all out... btw there are 800+ reviews, but I've read only one so far were the identity of the body guessed correctly...**_

_**Oh and about the Mormon comment that seemed to upset some of you...**_

_**Christian was trying to keep his act up, he slipped when he went all jealous on Elliot and he doesn't want his family to know before Ana does. The simple reason for that is, that he doesn't want to add to the hurt he is already causing her... her finding out that he trusted everyone but her with the truth would be too much and he knows it... **_

_**Oh, and there is another A/N at the end, addressing something I can't put here, because it would spoil the chapter...**_

_**Christian**_

Since Ana is still asleep I've decided to stay here and spend some more time with my daughter. Elliot has left and now that Chrissie is exhausted from all the playing and taking a nap, I feel restless.

I have to tell her the truth or give her something to hold onto. She always seemed so strong to me, but now I know that it has been a charade all along. When she broke down I had to force myself not hold her in my arms and beg her for forgiveness, but now I know this has to end... soon.

"Sir?" I turn around and find Sawyer in the entrance of the tv room where Chrissie is napping.

"Luke, it's good to see you again."

"It's good to see _you_, Mr. Grey. I just wanted to inform you, that your father is on his way over."

"Has he told you why?"

"No, Sir." He answers and walks back into the direction he came from. I just walk around the house until I find myself in Ana's study. It doesn't look like her style at all, actually it looks more like how I would have envisioned my study here. I can't help but sit down behind the desk and take a look at the files on her desk.

I'm completely absorbed by reading about her latest deals when I hear the door open.

"Thanks Luke, I'll find the file myself." I hear Ros' voice and when she sees me sitting behind the desk she starts to scream bloody murder.

"Oh fuck my life... now it happened... I knew I would go fucking insane one day... Gwen always told me to cut back some hours, but stupid me didn't listen... fuck, couldn't I have had a mental breakdown and envision someone like Angeline Jolie." She keeps muttering and I start to laugh, to keep my act up even though all I want to do is demand answers.

"Well, it's good to see you too, Ros, and I'm pleased to tell you that I am not dead." I laugh and she eyes me suspiciously.

"Son of a bitch... this is one realistic hallucination, I need to get a prescription for Xanax."

"Maybe I'm real, have you considered that." I ask and get up.

"No way... I fucking saw you die, I was there well... passed out for most parts, but I saw Charlie Tango explode... fuck, I only have to close my eyes and I see it." She says.

"Ros, I'm real. I didn't die that day... I don't know what happened, but I'm alive."

"Fine, what's my real name?"

"Roslyn Evangeline Bailey, you were born on November 5th 1979 in Newport, Maine. Your parents Clark and Emma own a farm, you have an older brother Lloyd who is married and has four kids..."

"Hah! My brother has five kids!"

"How many did he have four years ago?"

"Damn you... oh what the hell, now I'm arguing with my hallucination... nut house here I come." She mutters and I laugh again, but step forward and grab her by her shoulders.

"I'm really here, Ros."

"Holy fuck! What the... how?"

"Come, why don't we sit down." I lead her to the couch by the window and for the next twenty minutes I explain to her what happened to me, hoping that she is going to show some sort of reaction, but she plays her part well. _Fucking bitch!_

"Fuck my life... wait who the fuck is the burned corpse we buried?" She asks and I shrug. _You tell me!_

"I have no idea, my dad is trying to get the permission to have the body exhumed."

"You said you are married... how does Ana deal with it?" She asks and now I know that she knows something, because she is getting nervous.

"Not good." She frowns hearing my answers which makes me curious.

"What is it, Ros?" _Come on, spit it out, bitch!_

"Nothing... everything is fine." She says a bit to quickly.

"Ros, don't fuck with me, I want to know what is going on."

"It's just, I didn't expect Ana to care that you are married now... oh fuck, you know I don't do gossip." She mutters and I can feel a sick feeling spread in my stomach. How dare she try to badmouth Ana.

"Ros, so help me, just fucking tell me what is going on."

"Well, at first I thought Ana was still mourning, but she wasn't. Actually, she is quite active if you get what I mean." She says and I have to fight the urge to strangle her. _Fucking lying bitch!_

"What are you trying to say?"

"I walked in on Ana, several times and not always with the same guy. Christ, if you must know, she has fucked half the male staff at Grey House, including Sawyer. She is discreet, I guess she is still trying to play the lost little girl for your family, but she is anything but. I believe that the only reason she does go to the office is to get laid and...

"How fucking dare you." We both hear Ana's outraged voice. I look up and find her standing by the door. It only takes one look at her face and I know that Ros is about to get her ass handed to her. Ana looks so fucking pissed... but underneath is nothing but hurt.

"Ana..."

"Don't" She hisses when Ros tries to defend herself. "Don't you dare to fucking say anything, Ros."

"Ana I..."

"NO! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, NOW!" She screams and that has Taylor on alert.

"Ana what is wrong?"

"Miss Bailey is leaving Taylor, please see her out, she is no longer welcome here. After you've seen her out call Grey House, Miss Bailey has one hour to clear her office."

"What... no you can't do that." Ros screams.

"Yes, I can. It's my god damn company and you've just proved that you are not trust worthy. You're fired, Ros. Now get out of my house or do I have to make you?"

She storms out of the study and Ana sits down and buries her face in her hands.

"Ana, I don't believe what she said. She was lying." I tell her in an effort to make her feel better and suddenly her head snaps back up and she stares at me.

"Oh my God. Jason... get in here, now." She calls out and starts to pace.

"Ana what is wrong?"

"Don't you get it? That fucking bitch was lying... damn it, I'm going to kill her!" Ana fumes and Taylor returns.

"Miss Bailey has left."

"I want her under surveillance, Jason. 24/7. Also, I want you to pull her phone records, as far back as you can possibly get them."

"Ana, what is going on?" Taylor asks clearly as confused as I am.

"Have Luke drive over to the hotel Christian is staying at, he is going to stay here for the time being." She says.

"Not that I mind, but why?" I ask and she actually glares at me.

"Don't you get it. Ros was there, she told the police that she saw Charlie Tango explode and how you turned into a human torch! She lied god damn it. She must have known that you are alive all along... I mean because of her statement the police didn't do a DNA test of the body. So, why did she lie? She must be covering for someone, the same person who took you from the scene of the crash and brought you to Alabama."

"Ana even if that's true... why do you want me to stay here?"

"To keep you safe god damn it... have you lost every single bit of self preservation when you lost your memory? She knows you are back, she knows you remember, she will most likely contact whoever she was working with and if they have to fear that you will figure it out or start to remember the crash, then they won't stop until you can no longer tell the truth. I've told you before, I've already buried you once and I am not prepared to do it again any time soon. So, I want you to stay here where I can keep you safe." She rants and I can't help but laugh.

"You think this is funny?" She gasps.

"No, I just feel like our roles have reversed completely."

"Well, I can work with that. So, you will do as you're told or so help me I'll spank the shit out of you!" She threatens and storms out of her study.

"What the hell just happened, Taylor?" I ask and he actually smirks.

"You've just met the tiger-lady." He chuckles.

"Excuse me?"

"That's what people call her nowadays. She is in CEO-Mode, most days shutting off every emotion besides anger is the only thing that helps her through the day." He says and his look tells me that he is clearly blaming me.

"I didn't leave her by choice, Taylor."

"No, you didn't, but you did hurt her when you came back. You have to tell her the truth now, she has already figured most of it out by herself. You need to be honest with her, Mr. Grey. She deserves the truth."

Fuck, he is right. Ana already figured most of it out herself, why waiting? At this point keeping up the charade is only going to make her even more angry and disappointed in me. To hell with Kelsey... Ros is fired, so I'm sure she will contact her right away and at this point I'm risking Ana to unknowingly put herself at risk if she doesn't know the whole truth.

I leave the study and find her talking on the phone in the living room.

"For fuck's sake, Barney, just do it! I'm not paying you to question me, I'm paying you to do your job, now change the access codes, I don't want Ros to have any access to the GEH server effective immediately." She snaps and hangs up. I want to speak up, but she is already making another call.

"Andrea, I need you to send a memo out, as of right now Ros Bailey is no longer working for GEH... Yes, that's what I said, after she has cleared her desk she is no longer allowed to enter Grey House or any property owned by GEH. I will be in the office first thing tomorrow morning to release a statement to the staff. In addition I need you to set up a meeting with the heads of finances, overseas transaction, HR and the legal department, I want Ronson and Masterson to be there too. Yes, tomorrow right after I have given a statement to the staff, I want the offices in Taiwan, New York, London and Moscow to be informed within the hour. Keep me updated if there is any problem with Miss Bailey."

She hangs up again and flops down on the sofa.

"Please kill me." She murmurs.

"I'd do anything for you, Ana, but that's the one thing I can't do." I reply and sit down next to her. On instinct I pull her closer to me, but she stiffens and shifts out of my reach.

"Don't, the last thing I want or need is your pity." She snaps... okay, maybe now is not the right time. _Fuck, grow some balls, Grey. She needs to know._

"Ana, I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out. You are most likely going to be mad as hell at me, but it is important that you listen to me."

"Fine... go on!"

"I've lied to you. I've made you believe that I am happy and in love with Kelsey, but that is not true. I have reasons to believe that Kelsey and her entire family is involved in my kidnapping. I didn't return to Seattle earlier, because I wanted to figure this all out on my own, but it was impossible. There has to be a connection between Ros and Kelsey, but so far all I did was hit one dead end after another. I was worried about your safety. I don't know if they are after me... the money and I didn't want to put you at risk. I love you, Ana and..." I stop when Ana jumps to her feet and glares at me.

"Are you telling me, that it was all a show? Telling me that you are happily married and want to start a family with your wife? That you love her? That you wanted to move in here with her? In the house you've bought for us to grow old in? That you've acted so cold and cruel towards me on purpose? Answer me!" She yells and suddenly I'm too stunned to answer.

"What's the matter, Christian? Cat got your tongue? What did you expect? That I would fall into your arms all happy and crying? That I would just forgive you?" Her voice gets louder with each word she is hissing at me and it actually shocks me to see her this angry.

"Ana please, I was just trying to keep you safe..."

"No you were not! If you believe that there is any kind of danger you are in, you had to tell me. Because I'm the one who is running your company, so if they want your money, I'm their target too and more so, you've put our daughter at risk. Do you want to know how often in the last four months alone Ros has stopped by and took her to the park or a nearby ice cream parlor? And I allowed it, because I had no idea Ros could be involved in this mess. You didn't protect us, you put us in danger. You just wanted to come out of this as the hero... the great Christian Grey is alive and managed to uncover the mystery all by himself... come on, admit it, that's what you wanted!" She hisses and I'm shocked by the venom in her voice.

"Ana that is not true, I had your best interest at heart."

"You are unbelievable, Christian. You don't even see it when you are wrong. Just get out of my house. You've really done it this time, Christian. For four years all I have done was to live for you. I've given up on the career I've always dreamed of to work my ass of at GEH. I've raised our daughter alone, dealt with the fucking media and arrogant pricks of businessmen who laughed about me behind my back and just waited for me to fail... and you know what kept me going? It was you, every time I wanted to give up and just throw in the towel I thought about you and asked myself what you would do and it helped me to get through every single day for the last four years, but now... it's gone. You've done it, I look at you and I feel absolutely nothing. The man I fell in love with... he died four years ago... I don't even know you are, so get out of my house... I don't care what happens to you, you are nothing to me." She says and I feel as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest. This can't be happening...

"Ah, there you are. Good, then I can tell you both at the same time. We've got a match." My Dad announces as he steps into the living room.

"Match?" Ana asks.

"The body in Christian's grave. We didn't expect to find a match so soon or at all in the database, but this morning we found a match. The body in Christian's grave is a man called Jack Hyde..."

_**A/N 2: So, some have been a little upset that Ana hasn't been dating so far... wait for it, we are getting there. Ana will get her much needed break and she will just enjoy live for a while, but it won't be years for A and C to find their HEA. From the timeline of the story this chapter is set at the end of June and I have planned a winter wedding for our favorite couple...  
**_

_**On a different note, I know many of you are just as obsessed with reading books as I am, so maybe one of you can help me out. I had several request to write what Ana said at the eulogy, so I want to write that scene. I want to put a quote from a book into her speech and I basically know which one, the problem is, I can't remember the exact words of the quote or the name of the book I've read it in... all I remember is that it was a beautiful quote about true love and that it doesn't matter how long you've known a person, because being loved by this person even if it is just for a second is enough to feel blessed for the rest of your life... so if that rings a bell, please let me know!**_

_**I hope to have my laptop back by Wednesday or Thursday, until then I can't update...**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**So, let's clear up some things first ;-) Yes, Ana will go on a date, but that doesn't mean she is going to do it to get revenge or anything, nor does it mean, that she is going to have sex with the guy... because let's face it, Ana is not the girl to have sex on a first date (or at least she doesn't if her date isn't Christian ;-) )... it's not going to be anything serious, nor will the guy meet Chrissie. Her "date" is going to be more about her needing to spend time with someone who is not caught up in all the drama. Believe it or not, you are actually going to like the guy and he might even turn out to become a good friend to both Ana AND Christian...**_

_**Then there is Ana's reaction to Christian's confession. I feel like we need to cut Ana some slack here, because she's a mess right now. She lost it and didn't think about what was coming out of her mouth. That doesn't mean that Christian hasn't been through a lot too, because he has... it just means that right now all that Ana feels is tremendous hurt and anger; and she acted on it. **_

_**Lastly, they've been apart for four years, they can't just act as if nothing happened and start over, because they are not the same Ana and Christian they've been four years ago and before they haven't truly figured out who they are now and what they want from life and each other, there is no way for them to build a healthy relationship... **_

_**Ana needs to figure out who she is now and what she wants to do with her life, when she isn't basically living Christian's old life. And Christian has to figure out if he wants to be the hot shot CEO control freak he was before or maybe there is "A Different Life" for them together in which they can not just be a happy family but also do something they truly love...**_

* * *

_**Christian**_

Jack Hyde... mother fucking Jack Hyde! I cannot fucking believe it. I turn to look at Ana and she looks absolutely sick.

"Ana..."

"Don't!" She gasps and storms out of the room. Concerned my Dad and I follow her until she disappears in the downstairs bathroom and we can hear her throw up.

"Ana sweetheart, are you all right?" My Dad calls out.

"Do I sound all right?" Is her annoyed reply and I'm surprised when my Dad chuckles, because he absolutely hates it if anyone takes that tone with him.

"You think her being rude is funny?" I ask him.

"No, but this it reminded me of a similar reply I once got from a very drunk 15 year old who puked his guts after drinking a bottle of my favorite scotch... do you happen to remember who that boy was, son?" My Dad asks and I roll my eyes.

"Not funny, Dad... and just for the record that scotch tasted like ass."

"And who is rude now?" He asks with one arched brow, but I ignore him, because Ana is stepping out of the bathroom.

"Ana..."

"Just go, Christian... I don't want to listen to you." She murmurs and we watch her walk up the stairs.

"What is going on, Christian? I've heard Ana yell at you when I came in and now she is acting cold towards you."

"You might want to sit for what I am about to tell you." I mutter and back in the living room I tell my Dad everything from the second I regained my memories until I finally came clean to Ana.

"Jesus Christ, Christian! Do you have any idea to how much danger you exposed yourself to? They could have killed you the second they suspected that you regained your memory and Ros... good Lord..." My Dad gets up and makes a phone call telling someone to come over here now.

"Dad who was that?"

"Norman Rhodes, he is an old friend of mine, he works for the FBI, he helped me to get the permission to exhume the body in the grave."

"You involved the FBI?" I ask annoyed.

"Christian, someone kidnapped you and this man in your grave, he was most likely murdered. I had to get the FBI involved."

"Well fuck, Dad, what am I going to do about Ana. She can't just give up on me."

"Christian, you have to understand that Ana is not the 21 year old college graduate you fell in love with. She isn't shy or naive anymore. Ana has built many walls around herself and if you push her she is going to push back. Give her time and distance to really think about your latest revelations."

"I can't she doesn't want me anywhere near her! How am I going to protect her?"

"Sir?" We both turn around when we hear Sawyer.

"Yes?"

"Your belongings are upstairs in the guestroom."

"Thank you, but I don't think that I am welcome here anymore." I mutter and he frowns.

"Miss Steele told me thirty seconds ago to put them in the guestroom."

"She did?"

"Yes, and she asked me to tell you and Mr. Grey senior to meet her in the attic." That is all I need to hear to run up the stairs until I reach the attic where Ana is sitting on the floor looking through files.

"Ana?"

"I just... I can't think straight... there has to be a connection between Jack Hyde, Ros and Kelsey." She mutters and rubs her forehead.

"Ana, why don't you get some rest and we handle this."

"I don't think so, because until I haven't figured this out, our daughter is in potential danger and I can't let that happen. So, Ros and Hyde what is the connection?"

"I have no idea, Ana. Ros did the negotiations at SIP when I bought it, but I highly doubt that she ever saw Hyde... Roach and the head of HR maybe, but not Hyde..."

Ana stares at me and suddenly she starts to blink.

"Ana are you alright?"

"SIP... Ros went there, that's where she met Elizabeth. They must have started to see each other back then... Elizabeth knew Jack and he had tried to force himself on many women in the office... maybe she was one of them... but why would they kill Jack and kidnap you and how does Kelsey fit into all of it." She murmurs deep in thoughts.

"Ana, who is Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth was the head of HR at SIP. About three years ago I walked in on Ros and Elizabeth having a nooner at Ros' office." She explains, but somehow she seems to be numb.

"Ros is cheating on Gwen?"

"Yes, I kept it to myself, not my place to say." She shrugs and opens a box with files.

"What's that?"

"These are the background checks of every person in the town you lived in for the last four years. Tell me, when did you tell Welch and Taylor?" She asks and I smile, she is the smartest woman I've ever met.

"A couple of days ago, how did you know?"

"I asked Welch for these yesterday and he sent them to me this morning, Welch is quick, but this is too quick even for him and Taylor has this guilty look for a couple of days now. Are we sure that Kelsey went back to Alabama?"

"Yes, someone is following her and she went straight back to the ranch. Ana I'm sorry, I was trying to keep you safe and..."

"Don't! I really can't think about this now, Christian. I'm so hurt and angry right now, I want to rip your head off, but we need to figure this out first."

"Okay, what do you want us to do?"

"If there is no connection between Ros, Hyde and Kelsey, then Elizabeth has to be the missing link. Let's face it, Ros knew that she would find you here, no one outside the family and security knows that you are back. That means either Kelsey or Elizabeth must have told her, provided of course that Elizabeth really is the missing link. I've called Welch to get an background check on her too."

"Ana, Ros seemed to have no idea that I am back." I reply and she rolls her eyes.

"Seriously? Do you think she would walk in here, see you and just tell you the truth?" Ana's voice is dripping sarcasm and I'm starting to get pissed.

"Fine, let's move on, so this Elizabeth woman, why would she work with Hyde? And why would she kill him?"

"I have no idea... fuck!" She exclaims and slams Kelsey's background check down.

"What?"

"The Morgan Ranch! Elizabeth, her last name is Morgan. Pretty sure that's not a coincidence, is there anyone in town whose last name is Morgan?"

"Yes, fuck, half the people in town are Morgans, let me see the files of Kelsey's aunt." Ana pushes the box to me and I flip through every file until I find the right one.

"Fuck my life. Here, she has four daughters one of them is called Elizabeth Ann, could this be here?"

"When was she born?"

"March 2nd 1986." I reply and Ana jumps up and hurries out of the attic, I look at my Dad and we both follow her downstairs, into her study where she starts to type on her laptop.

"What are you doing, Ana?"

"I'm accessing the GEH database, we have a file for every person who works or once worked at GEH or any company owned by GEH, I'm checking Elizabeth Morgan's date of birth. God damn it!" She screams and slams her laptop shut.

"Is it a match, sweetheart?" My Dad asks.

"I have no idea, someone has deleted her file."

"Ros." I growl and Ana nods.

"Besides me, only Ros, Welch and Barney have the code to enter that part of the database. Carrick, call your friend at the FBI, they know that we are on to them. TAYLOR!" She calls out and he steps into the study five seconds later.

"Ana?"

"Call whomever you have shadowing Kelsey, make sure no one is leaving that fucked up town. I don't care if you have to hire an army to keep the place under lockdown, but I don't want anyone to run."

"On it."

"Good and have someone follow Ros from GEH, I want to know where she is going. Try to find any possible connection between Elizabeth Morgan and Jack Hyde." Ana says and while I look at her, I notice for the first time how tired she look. Her eyes are blood shot, she has dark circles under her eyes and she is pale in a very unhealthy kind of way.

"Ana, when was the last time you slept through the entire night?" I ask and she rolls her eyes.

"Please, I'm worried, just answer me."

"Sometime before June of 2011."

"You are going to bed now, you need to rest and..."

"Christian, I can't. Don't make me lose my shit again. I need to figure this out and then I have to deal with GEH. I promise you that I will sleep for a week once I have handed everything back to you, but now is not the time." She says stubbornly.

"Ana, Christian is right, you need to rest. I promise you, we'll wake you up if we get any news, but now the FBI has to handle this."

"But I need to increase security for everyone and..."

"Anastasia you are going to bed now! Don't make me repeat myself young lady, if you keel over from exhaustion you can't help anyone." My Dad says and Ana holds her hands up in defeat.

"Okay, but you have to wake me up before Chrissie's bedtime, I've barely seen her today and tomorrow I have to go to Grey House, so I won't have much time for either."

"We'll wake you up in time for dinner, sweetheart, now go."

Ana nods and walks towards the door, but stops and turns to face me.

"You can stay here until all of this over, spend more time with Chrissie or do whatever you want, but please give me some time and space to come to terms with everything." She doesn't even give me time to reply before she leave the attic and I want to kick something. _Why can't she see that I was trying everything within my power to protect her?_

"Give her time, Christian. Believe me, she is more forgiving with you than with anyone else... her friend... I think his name is Jose, she had Taylor kick him out and when he tried to contact her again, she told him she would get a restraining order if he would ever come anywhere near her."

"What has that fucker done to her?"

"After Chrissie was born, he proposed to her."

"He did what?" I gasp, I'll kill the fucker!

"It happened completely out of the blue, at first Ana was shocked, because they weren't even dating and then he told her that he would be a great father for Chrissie and that she never had to know that you even existed. That's when Ana had Taylor throw him out and she never even listened to Jose again. So, please, give her some time."

"What if I do that and she ends up meeting someone else?" I manage to put my worst fear into words.

"Christian, she wasn't able to move on for four years; she is not going to move on now. Baby steps, son. Thirty minutes ago she wanted to kick you out, now she is letting you stay, she just needs time, but she isn't going to fall for someone else."

An hour later my Dad and I are talking to his friend from the FBI, who is really letting us have it for not giving him all the information we had earlier and is making phone call after phone call while going through all the files and information Ana has gathered in the attic. I'm glad that Mia stopped by and is now playing in the meadow with Chrissie, so at least my little girl isn't noticing what is going on here. She doesn't need to know what a mess we are in right now.

My Dad is on the phone too, talking another friend of his, to start the process of getting an audit at GEH done. I had no idea that Ana made him a senior consultant at GEH, but he explained that in the beginning the employees didn't trust her or her abilities, so she gave Carrick the position to at least have one person whom she could trust completely.

Finally, after two hours Agent Rhodes tells us that we have gathered enough proof to have Ros arrested and Kelsey under suspicion, however they need to interview Ros first to confirm that Elizabeth Morgan and Kelsey have been in on this. Between the FBI and our security watching them, at least we don't have to worry that they are going to run...

* * *

_**Got my laptop back a day early and guess what, I had it running for about 10 minutes and it shut off again :-( So, I've spent the last thirty minutes on Amazon to order a new laptop... and not a Mac Book this time... **_

_**The next chapter is going to be a flashback to the day of the Charlie Tango crash. It will be told from the POV of Ros, Elizabeth and Kelsey. It's easier to reveal everything this way...**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey. All rights belong to EL James**_

* * *

_**June 17th 2011 - The day of the Charlie Tango Crash **_

_**Elizabeth**_

"Yes Jack, I'm picking you up in fifteen minutes." I mutter and inwardly imagine myself spitting on his rotting corpse..._soon!_

"You better be on time, bitch!" He hisses and hangs up. Oh, I cannot wait to get rid of him. I might have been young and naive once, letting him walk all over me and raping me for his own sick pleasure, but times have changed. I haven't worked my ass off to get out of this rural place my family calls our hometown, just to return with my tail between my legs.

Oh no, I'll show them that I was born to be more than just the daughter of a rancher. And I won't allow Jack Hyde to stop me either. I asked him to leave me alone, then I begged him, but he is forcing me to help him in his sick revenge plans. If it wasn't for him blackmailing me with the videotapes he made every time he fucked me, I would have simply talked to the police... but now this is personal, Jack Hyde is going to regret that he ever laid his hands on me... because today he is going to go where he belongs... straight to hell!

He told me that he has manipulated Christian Grey's helicopter and is going to make it crash. Of course, as the sick bastard he is, Jack wants to watch Grey die and that's where my plan comes into motion. Jack had this sick obsession with Grey for years now, always trying to get information about him and his family, because he believes that Grey took away his chance of a better life.

I knew one day he would snap and try to kill Grey. Now, I have a decent income, but Grey is a freaking billionaire and I want a piece of the cake. When his COO Ros Bailey came here to talk to Roach I saw a chance to get my foot in the door. It's well known that good old Ros is into women and after a little bit of flirting she fell for me.

Once Grey is dead, I'm sure she will become the new CEO. No one in his family would be capable of running Grey Enterprises, but Ros is and I know that she is going to make me her new COO. She is already putty in my hands and once I'm the new COO, I will not just make a shit load of cash, but I will also make sure to take a bit of money here and there from the company. Then five or six years from now, I will buy my own little island somewhere in the Caribbean and everyone who thought that stupid little Elizabeth would never make it can kiss my rich as fuck ass!

An hour later Jack is following the signal of the helicopter and we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere near Silver Lake.

"Fucking son of a bitch!" Jack hisses. Well fuck, Grey actually managed to survive the crash. _Looks like I have to improvise a little. _

We have almost reached the site of the crash and watch Grey who is trying to put the fire out when the fucking chopper explodes. Grey is flying through the air like a rag doll and lands with a sickening thud about ten feet from where he was standing.

"God damn it, the fucker just won't die!" Jack growls when Grey tries to get to his feet and suddenly Jack runs toward Grey and kicks him in the skull with enough force to knock his lights out. By now, I'm sure he is dead and Jack continues to kick the shit out of Grey... but something else catches my eye.

_Fuck, of all the shit that could go wrong!_

With a scream of a crazy woman Ros jumps Jack and tries to kill him with her bare hands. Jack manages to shake her off and that's when I see my chance. I make a run towards Jack and push him with all my strength. He stumbles backwards right into the fire and turns into a human torch in a matter of seconds.

"No! Breathe, god damn it; don't do this to me... HELP! WE NEED HELP!" Ros is screaming hysterically, while she is hovering over her dead boss.

"Ros!" I snap and she looks up at me... fuck, I need to figure this out and fast!

_**Ros**_

This can't be happening... Christian can't be dead... the fucker was happy for the first time in his life... he wanted to marry his little girlfriend... oh my god... please, please let him wake up... don't do this to him, to Anastasia and his family...

"Ros!" I hear a familiar voice and look around.

"Lizzy? What... why are you here?"

"Jack... he... forced me. He was blackmailing me for months... oh my god, Ros. I killed him... I killed someone." She cries and sits down next to me.

"What are we going to do... he killed your boss, I'm accessory to murder and I killed Jack... I'm going to jail... they'll give me death penalty." She gasps and I just stare at her not able to comprehend what is happening.

She gets up and starts to pace. "What to do... oh god what am I going to do?"

"Lizzy we need to call the police." I sob staring at Christian's body... fuck, he is dead...

"No, we need to get rid of Grey's body." She says suddenly.

"What?"

"Look at Hyde; he doesn't even look human anymore. You will tell the cops it's Grey. They won't check his DNA if you saw him burn to death. If I carry Hyde to my car he will drip blood all over the place... the cops will notice. No, it has to be Grey; I'll take his body and get rid of it. Ros please, he is dead there is nothing we can do for him, but I don't want to go jail. Please, help me carry his body to my car, you'll go back and I call for help." She begs and I'm too confused and shocked to realize what is happening. Moving like a robot I help her to carry Christian's body to her car and stumble back to site of the crash. May god forgive me...

_**Kelsey**_

Oh my gosh, I made it! I have been driving for four days, only stopping to sleep in cheap motels, but I really made it to Seattle! Only 10 more minutes and I'm at my cousin's place, I can't wait to see her again.

Trying to find a good song I flick through the radio channels and stop when I hear some breaking news.

_Christian Grey, 27 year old billionaire from Seattle and his COO Ros Bailey were found near Silver Lake after being in a helicopter crash. While it hasn't been confirmed yet, rumor has it that Grey was burned beyond recognition and that his family has gathered at the Seattle Memorial to say their last goodbyes. _

Holy fuck, that's so sad. What a terrible way to go and his poor family...

Finally after 10 more minutes I reach the apartment complex where my cousin is living and park my old pickup truck in one of the parking spots behind the building. I hope Elizabeth will be happy to see me, we were so close as kids, but lately she has barely called any of us. I know she has always dreamed of a better life, but really, life in Alabama isn't that bad.

I start to walk across the parking lot when I see a black Dodge stop in the lot and when I look at the driver I see that it is Elizabeth.

"Beth!" I squeal and wave. She gets out of her car and stairs at me in shock.

"Kelsey? What are you doing her?"

"Well, that wasn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for." I murmur upset about her less than lukewarm reception.

"No, I... I'm happy to see you, it's just... I didn't expect you to show up here today." She says and suddenly I hear something... it's a low grown coming from the trunk of Elizabeth's car.

"What was that?" I ask and Elizabeth is white as sheet.

"I... I don't know." She stutters, but when I hear it again I take her car keys and open the trunk. _Holy mother of all!_

"What have you done?" I gasp and immediately try to check the injuries of the man.

"Don't touch him... I ... I thought he was dead... oh my god, I need to get rid of him..."

"Elizabeth, he needs to go to the hospital!" I snap and she shakes her head.

"No, okay listen. I have killed a man... I will spend the rest of my life in jail or I'll get the death penalty... you have to help me. Maybe we tie some weight to him and dump him in the Sound..." She says in a rush and I feel faint.

"No! Do you hear me, this man is alive! I won't allow you to hurt him. Now, tell me what exactly happened?

I listen to Elizabeth as she tells me all about this guy from work and how he raped her too many times to count and then blackmailed her with videos of the raping. How he forced her to drive him today and how she killed him and believed that the man in her trunk was dead too. All that I can see is my scared to death cousin and I know I have to help her.

"Give me your car keys."

"What?"

"We are not going to murder this man, Elizabeth. I'm taking him with me to Alabama. You better pray that he won't die on the way there... he needs medical attention and it's a three day drive."

"But what if he makes it? You can't hold him hostage... no we have to get rid of him for good... he is as good as dead as it is... Kelsey..."

"No, do you hear me?! I am not helping you to murder an innocent man! Now give me those car keys, I promise you that I'll make sure that he won't ever return to Seattle. No one at home will say anything either. We are family, we help each other." I hold my hand out for her to give me the car keys.

With her help we get the unconscious man in the backseat and I start to drive back home to Alabama. _Oh Lord, please help me. What have I gotten myself and my entire family into now?_

_**Present day (June 30th 2015) **_

_**Ros**_

"So you believed that, Mr. Grey was dead?" The FBI agent asks and I nod.

"When did you find out that he is still alive?"

"About two weeks ago. Miss Morgan came to me and asked me to delete her file from the GEH server. She knew I had no choice but to do whatever she asked me to do, because if she would go down, so would I."

"Has she contacted you again?"

"Yes, today. Her cousin, Kelsey, she wanted to come clean to Christian, tell him the truth, but Elizabeth convinced her to go back to Alabama and really think this through. Still, Elizabeth was worried that Christian would spend too much time with Ana. She knew that I was involved with Elizabeth, once she knew the real identity of the body in the grave, it was clear to both of us that Ana was going to make the connection between us."

"How did you plan to stop Mr. Grey from spending time with Miss Steele?"

"If there is one thing I know about Christian Grey, then it is that he is a very possessive man. I thought by telling him that Miss Steele had moved on shortly after he "died", he wouldn't want anything to do with her. Since I'm here, I guess that didn't work out."

"Miss Bailey, I have to ask you. There have been many death threats against Miss Steele's and Mr. Grey's daughter. Is this in anyway connected?" He asks and I swallow hard.

"I don't have any proof, but I am convinced that Elizabeth Morgan murdered Miss Steele's stepfather. She is capable of just about anything and yes, I do believe she would threaten Chrissie."

"What? Why?"

"He was the only one who didn't buy the story. In fact, he asked me to visit him just two days before he passed away. He told me that he didn't believe that the body that was found was really Mr. Grey. He said that he had this gut feeling that something wasn't right. He feared for the safety of his daughter and her unborn child. At the time no one knew that she was his sole heiress and that she was pregnant with his child. And he was right, Elizabeth knew and she was talking about getting rid of Ana and the baby that is why I broke up with her. She said it would be so easy to get rid of them, because no one even knew they existed. Elizabeth Morgan is crazy and I do believe that it is my fault that Mr. Steele had to die. I told Elizabeth what he said to me and not even 48 hours later was dead."

"Do you have any prove for this?"

"No, but I believe there is one person who can confirm that Mr. Steele suspected something was going on."

"Who would that be?"

"Miss Katherine Kavanagh. I saw her leaving Mr. Steele's room before I went to see him. In addition, I overheard a fight between her and Miss Steele. She wanted Ana to have security with her, but she refused, saying that she was perfectly safe because no one even knew that she inherited GEH and Mr. Grey's fortune. A week after Mr. Steele's passing she wrote an article about Miss Steele and her unborn child, which in turn forced Miss Steele to have security. From what I know, Miss Kavanagh was a fiercely loyal friend; she must have had a reason to betray her trust like that."

"We will look into it." He says but there is one more question I have to ask.

"What is going to happen to me?"

"For now, you are under arrest, Miss Bailey... if you are lucky the district attorney will offer you a deal." He says and I nod, suddenly a small smile comes to my lips as I remember something Christian told me long ago... _Ros, never ever make rushed decisions, always check your facts twice or your choices will come back to bite you in the ass... _He was right; I had it all, a beautiful girlfriend, a shining career and a good life. Now, it's all gone... all because of one wrong choice I made when I met Elizabeth Morgan...

_**New York, July 1st 2015**_

_**Kate**_

"What do you have for me, Clark?" I ask the security guy whom I have hired to make sure that there is no danger to Ana, little Chrissie or any of the Grey's.

"Here, this guy has been seen a lot lately at Miss Steele's house and outside with her daughter." He says and hands me some pictures. I look at them and nearly choke on my water. _Fuck my life! He is alive; Ray has been right all along._

"There's more, Miss Kavanagh. Ros Bailey, Elizabeth Morgan and most of her family in Alabama have been arrested. The FBI is trying to keep it low key, but we also found out the Carrick Grey had the body of his son exhumed."

"Keep checking on them, but be discreet, Miss Steele's security will be on high alert for now... don't let anyone hurt them."

"Of course... and here, the pictures you have requested, Ma'am. I need to leave my plane goes in two hours and traffic is a bitch."

"Don't let me keep you. We stay in touch." I murmur and wait for him to leave until I open the envelope with the pictures I've requested. I know it's pathetic... if he doesn't hate me already he will do so in the future... once he knows. Still, I'll always ask them to snap some pictures of Elliot for me. He was and still is the love of my life, but I did what I had to do to keep Ana and her child safe.

I couldn't prove it back then, but I am convinced that Ray was murdered and that something was all wrong about the way Christian died. At first, I didn't see it, but Ray convinced me that there was something wrong with Ros's story. When Ray passed away and Ana still refused to have security, I knew I had to do something drastic... I promised Ray to do it in case anything was to happen to him and I kept my promise, even though it cost me not just my friendship to Ana, but also my relationship to Elliot.

Back then, I didn't even know just how hard my life would turn out to be afterwards, but I know it was for the best, because it forced Ana to take her safety and the safety of her unborn child serious.

Moving to New York was hard, even more so after I found out about something that changed my life forever. I tried to call Elliot, sent him countless letters and e-mails, but he never replied...

"Mommy!" I hear the delighted slightly high pitched voice of my son and turn around.

"Elliot James Kavanagh, you are supposed to take a nap!" I scold him gently, but really I can never be mad at my beautiful almost three year old son. Maybe this year we can celebrate his birthday with his Daddy...

"Come to Mommy, darling!" I open my arms for him and he runs into my arms. Lifting him up I kiss his adorable little face over and over.

"You know what; we are going to make a trip!"

"Trip?"

"Yes, we are going to Seattle and visit some of mommy's old friends... and guess what, we will take a plane to Seattle and you can sit by the window and you'll see clouds really, really close and the world is going to look so tiny." I show him with my fingers just how tiny and he squeals in delight.

"Now, I want you to go to your room, take your backpack and put the toys you want to bring to Seattle in them, can you do that for me?"

He nods excitedly. "Mommy can I bring, Mr. Bear and Piggy?"

"Sure, they can ride in the plane with us." I tell him and set him back to his feet. When he has left the living room I turn and around and open a drawer on my desk. Inside is one single letter. It has been in there since the day I've moved in here. The only thing written on it is _'Annie'. _Ray gave me the letter the day before he died; he told me that I had to keep it for him, in case something was to happen to him. He asked me to keep the letter until either his theory was proven to be truth or until it would have been safe for Ana to know the truth... I guess now is the right time... and more so, it's time for Elliot and I to go home... _finally!_

* * *

_**So, Ros isn't as bad as we thought after all, there might be a way for Kate to redeem herself... poor Ray was most likely murdered by Elizabeth; and Kelsey actually saved Christian's life... even I'm a little shocked by all these twists and turns lol. **_

_**Anyway, I know some of you will hate the part where Kelsey wasn't a complete bad guy, but of course there is more to her story... and don't worry no flashbacks to the time where she and Christian have been married... but she will make one more appearance when Christian is going to see her in jail and demand answers, which is important for his healing process... **_

_**On a different note, my new laptop will most likely be delivered on Friday, so I will update both The Mile High Club and A Different Life on Saturday...**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Just a short note to the guest WoW: I haven't deleted any of your reviews, just go to the review section, select chapter one and your review (posted on April 12th) is right there... **_

_**And to the other guest who told me to finally stop torturing everyone with my rotten stories... sweetie, I could bore everyone with a long ass reply to your review, but really your review just made me laugh, so keep them coming! And if you want to know my reply to your review please listen to track number six on Taylor Swift's album 1989, also know as Shake it off ;-)**_

_**This chapter will focus on Ana, Kate and Christian...**_

_**By the way, I've changed the whole dating plot a bit, there was one guest review I liked so much, that I decided to make some changes to fit it in... I would love to give the guest credit for the idea, but since the review was left under the name guest I can't do that properly... just know when you see your idea that the credit for this part of the story goes to you ;-)**_

_**And for those of you who are curious now, the review was posted for chapter 9 on April 12th... maybe you'll find it ;-)**_

* * *

_**Ana**_

No! Not again. This is the second night Christian is staying here and it is the second night in a row where I am woken up in the middle of the night by his screams.

Yesterday, I was still too hurt and angry to do anything about it, but now hearing him scream in his sleep has me getting out of bed before I can over think what I'm doing. I'm glad that Chrissie has such a deep sleep that she doesn't even wake up from all the screaming coming from the guestroom.

When I open the door Christian is tossing and turning in bed. For a second I am taken back to the only other time I've witnessed one of his nightmares... the day Leila broke into my apartment, but I push the thoughts away and step closer to the bed.

"Christian, wake up, you are having a nightmare." I whisper and stroke his clammy cheek. It's still there the tingling sensation every time my skin connects with his... still I try to ignore it.

Feeling my touch, he stills, but his eyes are still closed. "Christian?" I ask, but he doesn't answer and his even breathing tells me that he is still asleep.

It's three in the morning, but I am wide awake. Between all the drama and taking care of GEH, I should be exhausted, but I know there is no way for me to go back to sleep. So, instead of leaving his room I sit down in the armchair in the corner by the window and watch Christian sleep.

There are so many questions running around in my mind.

_Do I still love Christian? I don't think I can ever stop loving him._

_Has he slept with Kelsey while he was trying to keep me 'safe'? _

_Was he happy with her while he couldn't remember us?_

_Would he still want to be with her, if she wasn't a part of this whole dilemma?_

_And even if we can get past all of it, is it even possible for us to be together?_

_Will he love the person I am today?_

_But deep down I know that the real problem isn't him, it's me... because I have no idea who I am anymore._

I continue to watch Christian sleep until the sun slowly starts to rise and leave the guestroom before he wakes up.

After taking a long shower and getting dressed, I make my way into my study and work until it's almost eight in the morning. I'm just about to walk upstairs and wake Chrissie up, so we can make breakfast together like every Sunday, but then I hear voices from the kitchen and the smell of pancakes and bacon lingers in the air.

When I move closer I can barely believe what I am seeing. Christian is standing in the kitchen, dressed in dark ripped jeans and t-shirt and he is actually cooking while Chrissie is sitting on the worktop next to him snacking on some blueberries.

_Who is this man and where is the guy who could barely dice a bell pepper without chopping his fingers off?_

"Good morning, Ana. I hope you don't mind that I've started to make breakfast, but I heard that you were on the phone and Chrissie is hungry." He says without even turning around. _How did he know that I am here?_

"No, it's okay... um when did you learn to cook?"

"There was this old lady at the Morgan ranch, everyone called her Nana, though I think she wasn't related to anyone, she used to be the housekeeper and enjoyed her retirement in a small house on the estate... anyway, before I was well enough to work I spent a lot of time with her and she said 'but I'm a guy' is no excuse that I couldn't even cook a simple meal...so she taught me. She passed away about two years ago." He explains and I feel the urge to slap him.

He is talking about his time in Alabama as if it was a nice vacation for god's sake. Did they brainwash him? Is this some sort of Stockholm syndrome? I just don't get it, the Christian I've known would be hell bent on ruining the whole town, but now that Ros, Elizabeth Morgan, Kelsey and about twenty of her relatives are under arrest he just acts as if everything is fucking peachy.

"Ana, please I was just answering your question." He says when he sees the look on my face.

"Let's not talk about this now." I murmur and step closer to lift Chrissie up.

"Morning mommy... uhhh oohh." She says wide eyed and I follow her gaze.

"Don't worry, Sweetie, it's okay. How about we do something fun today, you can pick whatever you want." I grin when I see the blueberry stains her hands have left on my white shirt.

"I want to see horses!" She says immediately.

"Horses?" I ask alarmed. It's not that I hate horses, but I prefer to watch them from a far distance or even better on TV.

"Daddy told me about the horses, mommy. He said he can teach me how to ride a horse... pleeeeaaassseeee Mommy, I want to see the horses."

"I think about it, Chrissie, how about you go and wash your hands and I talk to your Daddy about the horses." I put her down and she runs off in the direction of the bathroom.

"Horses, really? Like huge furry monsters?" I ask him annoyed and he starts to laugh.

"It's not funny, Christian! Imagine she falls off a horse and it stomps on her!"

"Ana, do you honestly believe I would allow her to ride a normal horse? There is a ranch nearby who is breeding miniature ponies. They are perfectly safe for young kids to ride. I've called them yesterday and the owner said we can stop by at any time." He explains and I take a deep breath.

"Fine, we can go there today, but if I decide that it's not safe for Chrissie to sit on one of those little monsters you'll have to explain to her why we are leaving."

"Trust me, it's going to be fun. If you have to work some more after breakfast I can pack a picnic basket for us."

"Okay, this conversation has just turned too surreal for me, I need more coffee if you want me to reply."

"Help yourself, I just made fresh coffee."

"Of course you did, turns out you are freaking Martha Stewart." I mutter under my breath and as I turn around to get myself a cup of coffee he swats my behind... hard.

"Ouch! What was that for?" I ask and rub my stinging behind.

"Oh, I do believe that your smart mouth qualified for that one, so you better be careful, Miss Steele, because it seems that my palm is twitching a lot in your presence lately." He says and for the first time in a really long time I feel my face heat up.

"I'm still the same, baby." He says and turns back to the stove to turn the pancakes.

"Well, maybe then I should start to roll my eyes at any given chance to give your palm even more reason to twitch." I snap back and get my coffee. I don't know if it is him or if I'm just too messed up at the moment and simply irritated by everything.

"Mommy, can we go see the horses today?" Chrissie asks as she comes running back into the kitchen.

"Yes, your daddy found a ranch nearby where you can see horses. We are going this afternoon, mommy has some work to do first."

"Can we bring a horse home with us? It can live in my room and I promise to take good care of it." She asks.

"Darling, horses can't live in the house, they need a lot of space to run around."

"It can live in the meadow then." She says as if the problem was solved with that.

"Chrissie, I promise you we can visit the horses from time to time, but I don't think that it is a good idea to buy one."

"I'll ask Daddy to buy me one." She replies and jumps in Christian's arms.

"Dadddddyyyyyyy! I reaaalllyyyy, reeaaalllyyyy, want a horse." She begs and gives him her huge puppy eyes look. _You better not give in, Grey!_

"Well, maybe you are lucky and Santa will bring you a horse this year." _Great, just great, he makes promises and I am the one who is going to have to deal with a freaking horse. _

We are almost done with breakfast when Taylor walks into the kitchen.

"Ana, we have a situation." He says and I leave the kitchen with him.

"What is it, Jason?"

"Katherine Kavanagh is outside the gate, she refuses to leave, do you want me to call the cops?"

"Has she told you what she wants?"

"She says that she has to talk to you... about your stepfather. She says she has a letter for you that he gave to her a couple of days before he passed away." He says and I storm out of the house.

How fucking dare she? I know she is here because she read that Ros was arrest, she is probably trying to get more information... I'll show her!

I almost run towards the gate and it opens just in time for me to get out.

"How dare you! Don't you ever show up here and demand to be let in by claiming you have something MY Dad gave to you!" I yell at her and she takes a step back.

"Ana please... it's true. I know you don't believe me, but I was trying to protect you. Here... I have the letter with me... just calm down at least a little bit. If you rip the letter you will regret it for the rest of your life and I don't want that for you."

I stare at her and she has tears in her eyes... and looking at her after all those years makes me feel sad. She was my best friend and now we are almost strangers.

"You better not be lying, Kate." I whisper and she hands me an envelope. I look at it and when I see the name _Annie _written on it in Ray's handwriting I feel tears rolling down my cheeks. I open it and start to read...

_Annie, _

_I'm writing you this letter, because I am afraid that I don't have much time left. I never wanted to worry you, kiddo, so I have never told you that my heart isn't what it used to be for some time now. The doctors here told me that I am going to be fine, but I know I won't leave this place, my Dad once told me he would die soon when I was your age and I didn't take him seriously at the time or even when he really passed away just weeks later, but now I do and there is something I need you to know, Annie. _

_Maybe it's just me being paranoid being stuck at the hospital for weeks now, but I do believe there is something wrong with Christian's death. I didn't want to bring it up to you or the Grey's, as it could be nothing, but I do believe that Miss Bailey is hiding something. _

_It just wouldn't leave my mind, so I asked Kate to arrange a meeting with Miss Bailey for me. She came by this afternoon and I asked her about the crash... she was nervous, Annie. You have to look into it. I asked Kate to do some digging for me, kid is smart and would have made a good cop, that's why I picked her. _

_Don't be upset that I haven't told you right away, because you have an important job to do now, Annie. You have to carry that precious little baby of yours for a couple more months, so you can give birth to a healthy baby. I know telling you now would only make you try anything to find out what Ros is hiding, but right now your baby has to be number one priority. _

_That is why I have asked Kate to keep this letter for you and to make sure that you are safe until it is time for you to read this letter and find out what really happened the day Christian died. _

_And maybe, it was all just me being silly and you never have to read this letter, because I am still there to help you and to bounce my first grandchild on my knee..._

_However if you are reading this letter now, it means that I am no longer here and I want you to know that there is nothing in my life I am more proud of than you. It has been an honor and privilege to watch you grow up to be the wonderful young woman you are today. It makes me even more proud because you allowed me to be your Dad even though I am not the one who helped Carla to create the little miracle that is now known as Anastasia Rose Steele. _

_I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you longer, but I know you'll find your way, Annie. I am so, so proud of you, you are everything a father could ever wish for and more. _

_I love you, Annie and I'm promising you that I will always be there watching over you and your baby._

_Ray_

"Ana?" I hear Kate's voice and look up at her.

"Why? Why have you waited so long to give me this letter... why haven't you told me and why did you betray me like that... why Kate?" I ask and even more tears are falling from my eyes.

"I was trying you protect you, Ana. I believed Ray when he told me that something was wrong. When Ray died, I thought ... maybe someone wanted to make sure that he couldn't speak up anymore..."

"My Dad died of heart failure in his sleep, Kate. They did an autopsy, his heart just stopped beating, there were no signs of homicide... he had a heart condition, he hadn't told me about, it was never properly treated and that's what caused his life." I whisper... _so she thought that Ray had been murdered and she still went on to write that darn article just a week later?_

"Oh my god, all this time and I thought... doesn't matter, Ana you have to believe me, I didn't write the article to boost my career, I did it to protect you. I promised Ray that I would protect you..."

"Really, and you thought by announcing publicly that I have inherited almost everything from Christian and that I am carrying his child was a good way to keep me safe?" I snap and her tears start to fall.

"It made you hire Taylor and his men as security. Do you remember how often I begged you to have security but you refused? You've been saver all these years because of them. You may believe that you were safe back then but you were not, Ana. The people who did that to Christian, they would have come after you, Ros knew you were carrying Christian's child, and you have been such an easy target back then. I didn't know what else to do and I rather have you hate me for the rest of your life then to watch you get hurt or worse, because I didn't do anything. I even hired additional security to look after you all these years. If I really was the person that you believe I am, I wouldn't be here, Ana. I would be in New York selling the pictures that prove that Christian is alive to the highest bidder. But all I want is to come home... I want my old life back, before everything turned to shit and the only friend I ever had hated me, before the man I love was so disappointed in me that he refused to read my letters and take my phone calls for years. I just want this nightmare to be over for all of us." She sobs and I want to believe her, but I don't even know what to believe anymore.

"Kate, why didn't you talk to me back then?"

"I tried, but I didn't want to make the situation any harder for you. You had lost Christian, then your Dad and you had a difficult pregnancy..."

"Yes, and I almost miscarried after you wrote the article!"

"I know, and you have to believe me when I say that I am sorry, I never meant to put you or your baby at risk. It's the last thing I wanted to do. Please believe me, Ana... it's been so long and I don't want our friendship to end like this. I made a bad decision back then, but it was all meant to keep you safe." She says and it reminds me of Christian and how he tried to me 'safe'.

"Was I really so stupid and naive four years ago that no one believes talking to me would have been the right thing to do?" I ask resigned and Kate shakes her head.

"Naive maybe, but you've never been stupid, Ana. Look, I need to go back to Ethan's, here my number is on the card, I'll be at Ethan's until next Monday. Just think about everything I just told you and call me. There is so much more I need to tell you... and not just you."

"Elliot?"

"Yes, I'll stop by at his place tomorrow. Has he ever talked about me?"

"Not really, but he never had a serious relationship after he broke up with you."

"Okay...promise to call?"

"Promise." I murmur and watch her get back into her car. I turn around and walk back towards the door. Inside I find Christian pacing in the entrance hall.

"Shit, what has that bitch done to you? Why are you crying?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Nothing, turns out Kate is just another person who has a really strange way of trying to keep me safe. Where is Chrissie?"

"In her room with Sawyer, he is helping her to write a letter to Santa so she can tell him all about the horse she wants."

"Well, if Santa wants to buy her a horse, make sure he delivers it to your place. Anyway, I have work to do... has Carrick or the FBI said anything when we can release the statement that you are alive? Because I am going to announce that you are going to return as CEO as soon as the news is out."

I tell him and he frowns. "Ana, look... I... I'm not sure I am ready to take GEH back... or if I want to be the CEO again."

"What? I don't understand. I mean once you are officially alive again, I'm handing everything you left me in your will back to you. What are you going to do about GEH?" I ask shocked... suppose he is going to sell it?!

"I'm not sure yet, Ana. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, GEH or really anything. All I know for a fact right now is that I want to be a good father to our daughter and that I want to be with you. Getting you to forgive me is my number one priority right now... everything else from my old life, it doesn't matter anymore..."

_OMG, he can't be serious..._

* * *

_**The new chapter for The Mile High Club follows tomorrow, sorry, but I'm too tired to finish it tonight...**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**I was going to post this tomorrow, but after trying to finish the new chapter of The Mile High Club for almost two hours with no progress at all, I've decided to edit this chapter instead...**_

_**A lot of you seem to like Marinela's idea that during his time in Alabama CG was suffering from erectile dysfunction as a side-effect of the drugs given to him by Kelsey. I have to say, I think it's a fun idea too. I can't promise to make it happen, but I will try to find a chapter where I can fit it in... maybe during a session with Flynn... **_

_**On a different note, I'm still in the process of writing the eulogy and it's giving me a really hard time... so I'm not sure when I'm going to post the chapter... but it want delay the updates, as I have several parts of the story where I can squeeze the chapter in...**_

_**This chapter will give you the first 'real' inside to Christian and his reasons for being so distant to everyone and everything relating to his old life... **_

* * *

_**Christian**_

"Sir, Miss Steele has informed me that you are planning to visit a ranch today, can you give me the name of the location, so I can send a team out to make sure the place is safe." Sawyer says and I feel my skin crawl... for fuck's sake it's just a small trip.

"That won't be necessary, Luke. I'm perfectly capable of protecting my daughter and her mother."

"Sir, with all due respect, but I'm just following the protocol."

"Luke, I know you are just doing your job, but right now you are pissing me off! It's just a god damn ranch with miniature ponies. What possible dangers can there be? Security can follow us, but that's all you need to know."

"Very well." He says coldly and leaves, but not in the direction of the security office, but Ana's study.

A minute later I hear her yell. "Then fucking ask him again, god damn it, I'm drowning in work here, I don't have time for this shit!"

This has to stop, Ana has to take a break. She is too pale, too thin and looks as if she is only seconds away from having a complete breakdown. I stride towards her study and step in not bothering to knock at all.

"What now?" She snaps while still typing away on her laptop. I step closer and close her laptop.

"Oh my god, why would you do that? I haven't saved that file..."

"It's enough, Ana. You need to relax or you'll end up having a heart attack or stroke!"

"Relax? How am I supposed to that? I've have no CEO and my COO is on maternity leave for at least three more months! I shouldn't even be here now, because I should be in Taiwan working on a deal that finally needs to be dealt with... then there is the fucking issue with the shipyard here in Seattle... another deal is about to go down hill... and now you don't want to have your company back... how am I supposed to relax?"

"I know... believe me, Ana... I know exactly how you feel, because I have been through all of this... the endless hours of work, security 24/7, constant threats, the media... and I am so, so sorry that I trapped you in this life. I did a lot of thinking since I first talked to Flynn when I came back to Seattle. I changed my will and gave you everything because I was a selfish son of a bitch. I didn't want to see it, but I guess it's time to be honest. Do you want to know why I left everything to you?" I ask and she nods slowly.

"I told myself that by changing my will and giving it all to you, I would make sure that you were financially secure in case something was to happen to me, but the truth is, I knew you would never sell my company. I knew that you wouldn't be able to bear to sell anything, so you would be reminded of me every day for the rest of your life and too busy to move on... I wanted you to be mine and only mine even when I was gone. I didn't even think about how selfish it was, I just wanted to make sure that you would be mine forever and now that I see what I have done to you there is nothing I regret more, I should have left you money and SIP so you could have lived your dreams, but I was too selfish to do that."

"Leaving your company to me wouldn't have stopped me from moving on, Christian. I had enough opportunities to go on dates if that would have been what I wanted to do. It's that I just can't stop loving you that has kept me from moving on. Even when I want to hate you, I still love you, it's just right now I don't like you very much." She says and hearing that she still loves lifts a huge weight of my shoulders.

"Why don't you like me, Ana?"

"Because you are no longer the man, I fell in love with... you just said you are still the same, but you are not... you are distant even now and I know my reaction wasn't what you were hoping for, but we all have been through so much, Christian. Right now, I feel like I have to protect myself from you or I end up hurt again... maybe right now is not the right time for us... I mean, you tell me you don't know if you want any of your old life back, but what does that even mean?" She asks and it's exactly what I feared. If I don't tell her what is really going on she might never be willing to take me back.

I sit down and look at her, trying to find the right words to tell her how I feel. Fuck, I didn't even allow myself to think about this, but with every day I am back these feelings are getting stronger and stronger...

"You are right, Ana. I'm not the same man you met. He's still there, but I'm fighting it. For nearly twenty eight years, I was a misfit, a fuck up and for most parts I hated myself. Nothing I ever did was good enough in my eyes, I hated it when people saw me for what I felt I am and I hated it even more when people tried to see more in me, because it felt like I had to live up to their expectations, which only set me up for more failure. And then it was all gone. The need to control, the nightmares, the fear of being touched, the self loathing, it was all gone... and I was happy. I didn't even care too much that I had forgotten an entire life, because I just lived in the moment. It didn't bother me to buy clothes at Target or Wal-Mart, that I had basically no money at all or that I never really left the ranch. But..."

I stop trying of a way to say what is to come next.

"But sometimes, I did think about my old life, who I might have been before and where I came from... why no one was looking for me and that's when I felt a glimpse of my old life. It was pure rage, I felt that I must have meant so little to my family and friends that they were glad I'm gone. So, I embraced my life in Alabama even more. After one night of thinking about this, I was so angry... I ... I wished that I would gain my memories back, return to where I came from and find my family and friends as miserable as possible, I wished every day that I was there that all the people from my old life would suffer as much as possible, while I'm happy. Fuck, I didn't even really love Kelsey, she was nothing but a good lay, but I married her anyway and convinced myself that I was in love with her, just to prove to myself that I can have the best life without anyone from my old life. And then I remembered... and I was never so ashamed in all of my life, Ana. When I read in old news paper articles that everyone believed I am dead... when I saw pictures of the funeral... I felt like the worst person on earth. I was happy, and all of you... you've been through hell. Still, I can't deny that I am still holding on to the feeling of being free from my demons and just happy... how can I still want to be that guy, when it was the same guy who wished all of you the worst? I have never felt so undeserving in all of my life and that's why it was so easy for me to play my part when I came back... because I don't deserve your forgiveness or love, all I deserve is that all of you hate me... had I stopped only one time to think, I would have noticed years ago that something was seriously wrong at the ranch, but I just didn't want to. I chose to happily ignore everything and now I feel as if my old life is suffocating me, I can't even look at my family or you without feeling guilty as hell and I just don't know where to go from here."

I watch as Ana gets up from her chair and all I can think is: _That's it, she is walking out on me, for the first time since I am back I have been completely honest with someone and my worst fears are confirmed, Ana wants nothing to do with me and soon my family will follow her example. _

But she completely takes me by surprise when she sits down in my lap and cups my face in her hands making me feel the same spark I always felt from her touch.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to your time in Alabama. I won't say that I even remotely like the fact that you have been with someone else, but you didn't remember. You couldn't because you were drugged by people you thought were trying to help you. You have been fed false information for years and being angry is a normal reaction. They made you believe that no one was looking for you, that no one cared enough to report you as missing. That would make anyone angry and more so feel extremely hurt. Please don't feel that way, Christian. We all thought we had lost you forever and getting you back healthy and alive it's the greatest gift for all of us. Believe me, had we known that you are out there, we would have moved heaven and earth to get you back. No one is blaming you for being happy, we want you to be happy... and with your past, it must have been an extraordinary experience for you to live without that baggage. All we want is for you to let us in and until now it felt like you were distancing yourself from all of us, because you are unhappy to be back."

"I'm not, I want to be here, Ana. I want to be a part of my family again, I want to be with you and I want to the best father for our daughter I can possibly be, but every time I am around you and my family the guilt and shame is so overwhelming... and I fear that once everyone knows they don't want me anymore in their life. It's easier with Chrissie, I didn't know she even existed until I remembered and I feel like I can't disappoint her, because she didn't know me before." I explain... shit, why did my life have to turn out like this?

"Maybe that's what you need to then."

"What do you mean?"

"Christian, you need to get over this guilt and shame, go and see Flynn, be really open to him and try to figure out what you really want from life and who you truly are now. Until then, just focus your time and attention on Chrissie. You've missed out on so much time with her, now is your chance to solely focus on her and when you are ready and you know what you really want and how you envision your future, we figure it out together."

"It's not fair to you, Ana. I can't expect you to run GEH for me, while I'm trying to get my shit together." _How much longer can she possibly keep it together with all the shit going on right now? _

"I... I won't. To be honest, I am so strung out at the moment, I don't even know who I am anymore and I don't know for how long I can continue to go on like this. But I know someone who can help me."

"Who?"

"His name is Noah Whitmore. I've first met him a little over two years ago, he has managed to built two multi billion social networks in less than five years. He sold them both after a year or so, because he is kind of a free spirit. Don't get me wrong, he is ace when it comes to business, but he also likes to live in the moment and just enjoy life. He contacted me yesterday, after the news that Ros was fired broke and offered me his help. If you are okay with it, I would like to ask him to step in as an interim CEO for the time being. But, because I feel like you need to know, Noah is the only other person besides Elliot I have been on a date with." She says and I feel jealousy coursing through my veins like thunderstorm.

"So, you want me to agree to let a guy run GEH who only does it, because he wants into your panties? Well fuck, Ana what do you expect me to say?" I hiss and I know I am fighting a losing battle to keep my temper in check.

"Christian, honestly, I don't want anyone even remotely close to my panties right now. But I'm not in a fit state of mind right now to take proper care of GEH, not without at least a CEO or COO to help me, and I have neither of them. Yes, Noah is an attractive man, but fact is when I went out on a date with him, it was him who told me that I am not ready to move on. Because all I was talking about was you. He could have taken advantage of me, he could have tried to make me forget, but he didn't. He was a perfect gentleman, he drove me back home and told me not to force myself to move on, because everyone else seems to think that's what I have to do. He told me to wait and focus on my daughter and my work until I feel that it is time to put myself out there. And he never even brought our date back up on the few occasions we've seen each other since. Please, don't read something into this that just isn't there. Someone has to take control at GEH and if neither of us is in the right state of mind to do it right now, he is the best possible option. Too many people depend on the success of GEH, please Christian, trust me on this." She implores me and I try to fight back the jealousy and see it through her perspective.

"Okay, I trust you, Ana... just I need to know... do you think you can forgive me some day? That we can be together again?"

"I don't know... I want us to be together and happy again. But I also feel that before we both have worked on our issues, we only end up drifting further apart. I need to find a therapist and to work on my issues and you need to see John and be honest with him, tell him what you've told me."

"You can see John too."

"No, I can't. For four years I haven't lived my life, I've lived yours. John is a good doctor, but fact is, he is your doctor and let's face it, between both of us he will be in need of intensive therapy himself, I wouldn't want to be responsible for that. Maybe I call Ethan, you know, Kate's brother. He is a psychiatrist now and he knew me back when I still felt like myself, I think he might be able to help me." She explains and I keep my mouth shut, Christ, another guy who wants into her panties.

"Ethan Kavanagh is married for three years now, his wife, Ashley, is a lovely person and together they have the most adorable twin girls who have just turned two. You see, there is nothing for you to worry." She says and I smile, that's the Ana I knew, the girl who had the weird capability to look right through all my bullshit.

"You stayed in touch with him?"

"Not really, but we ran into each other at some fundraisers. He is so proud of his girls he has a million pictures of them on his phone and shows them off at any given chance. We wanted to set up a play date for our kids, but I was always too busy to call him."

"I don't want you to realize that I am not what you want anymore, Ana." Shit, I'm sounding like a pussy, but what if she realizes that I am not what she wants or needs.

"Christian, look, I have no idea what I want right now and if you are being honest to yourself, then you know that it's the same for you. All I can say is that I have loved you for four years, even though I had to believe that you were gone, I couldn't stop loving you. When you came back and you made me believe that you are in love and happily married to someone else... even then I couldn't stop loving you... so I don't believe that I will come out of therapy and suddenly realize that I don't want to be with you. You are not the problem, I am."

"But you already had doubts back then. I asked you to marry me and you didn't give me an answer." I point out and she gets up.

"You had my answer, Christian. I gave it to you before we went to see Flynn." She says and I watch as she opens a safe that is hidden behind a part of one of the bookshelves. When she turns around again, she is holding a small giftbox in her hands, the same she gave me before we went to see Flynn together.

"How... I mean how did you get it back?"

"It was found by the police at the site of the crash. After the case was closed the detective who was assigned to the case gave it back to me. The funeral had already taken place, so I couldn't put it in the casket... I didn't know what else to do with it, so I kept it in the safe." She explains and holds it out to me.

I take it and remember how it drove me insane to have my birthday gift and not being allowed to open it. I wanted to know what's inside so bad, because deep down I had the hope it would be her answer.

"You can open it." She says and slowly, I open the tiny box and frown when I find a plastic keychain. _What the fuck?_

"A keychain?" I ask confused.

"Does it still work?" She asks and I turn it around and shake it, at first nothing happens, but then for a brief second the word yes flashes on the screen and my eyes shoot up to hers.

"Back then, I wanted you to know that whatever John was going to say wouldn't make a difference to me... and with your birthday coming up, I thought I'd give you myself. What I am trying to say is... if we both get the help we need right now, and figure out what we want then we can try to build a relationship. Right now this keychain is no longer a promise for us to get married, but it's my promise to you to wait and try once we are both better."

I stare at her... she is right. We both need to sort our personal shit out, before we can move on together.

"Does that mean I need to move back to the hotel?" I ask because I really don't want to leave.

"I believe we both need some time and space... or I need some space anyway... come, I want to show you something." She says and takes a key from a drawer on her desk. She leaves her study and I follow her out of the house to the smaller guesthouse by the meadow which I have wondered about since I have first seen it, because it wasn't here when I bought the house.

"When Elliot and I talked about the plans for the house my Dad was still alive. I knew he wouldn't agree to move into the house, because he liked to take care of himself. I've asked Taylor and Gail if they want to move in, but they liked the apartment over the garage better. Anyway... Escala and even Bellevue is long drive from here, so why don't you move in here. I can have one of my cleaning ladies to look after you and of course, you are as close to our daughter as it gets. And if you want to be alone for a while, you can just close the door and no one is going to bother you. You already have the key to the big house, so you can come over whenever you like. If you don't like it, we can come up with something else..."

"No, it's great. I think you are right, we both need some space to deal with our issues and I can still be close to you and Chrissie. Thank you, Ana."

"You don't have to thank me..."

"Ana? Christian?" We both hear Elliot call out and see him jump out of his truck. He looks as if he had seen a ghost.

"What is wrong, Elliot?" Ana asks immediately.

"Kate... she is back in town. She came to my place... I ... I have a son." _What?!_

* * *

_**The next chapter is going to be from Elliot's and Kate's POV so you'll find out how their first meeting after almost four years turned out... after that the focus will go back to Ana and Christian... **_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hi guys, I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to update for almost two weeks. I had some family issues to deal with and didn't have any time to go online since I've posted the last chapter... I can't promise regular updates right now, but I'll try to post the next chapter tomorrow and also update The Mile High Club over the weekend... **_

_**I haven't read any of the PM's I've gotten in the last 11 days so far, but I promise I'll reply to all of them over the weekend... **_

* * *

_**Kate**_

"How was your meeting with Ana?" Ethan asks and I sigh.

"I guess it went okay, she has changed a lot... but then again we all have changed a lot."

"Four years is a long time, Kate. In addition, Ana's life has changed completely, so she had to make many adjustments. Have you decided when you want to talk to Elliot?"

"I would love to go now, just to get it over with... you know, all the letters I've sent him over the years, he has to know... maybe he just doesn't care that we have a son."

"Katie, you have to talk to him. If not for him or your son, then do it for yourself. You deserve to be happy again and if there is no future for Elliot and you, then it's better you know now, so you can find a way to move on."

"I know, but I don't want to move on... and how can I do that anyway? I'm raising the mini me of the man that I love."

"Look Kate, you have never been a coward, don't start now, Ashley and I are taking the girls to a park. We'll take Elliot with us, so you can visit Elliot. Fuck, that's confusing..."

"Perfect name for my perfect baby boy... okay, let's do this. Do I look okay?"

"You look amazing and you know it... now go and get your man back." He says and I take a deep breath. _I can do this. _

Forty-five minutes later I am outside of Elliot's house and I am not so sure that I can really do this. _Come on, Kate! Don't be such a fucking coward!_

I reach out to ring the door bell and stop last second. _Suppose he slams the door in my face or he is with a woman? _

I start to pace in front of the door, cursing myself for being such a fucking coward.

"Hey, can I help you?" I close my eyes and hold my breath. It's Elliot, he must have been out... but for the life of me I can't find the strength to turn around and face him.

"Are you alright, Miss?" He is right behind me now and very slowly I turn around and lift my gaze to see his beautiful blue. For a second there is nothing but shock in them and then it turns to fury.

"You have some nerve to show up here, Miss Kavanagh! What's the matter, Katherine? Nothing to write about in New York, so you thought you'd stop by and dig for some juicy dirt in my family? You have three seconds to leave or I'll call the cops." He says and I can't fight my tears no longer.

"Elliot please. Can't you listen to me? I..."

"No! Do you hear me? I'm fucking done with you, Kate... you betrayed me by betraying Ana and exposing her and my niece to all kinds of danger! There is nothing for us to talk about."

"Haven't you read my letters?" I sob.

"No, I've put them where they belong, in the trash!" He hisses.

"Elliot you have to hear me out."

"No! Get lost, Kate." He says and walks towards his truck.

"Elliot please, we have a son." I cry out and he stops and spins around.

"What?"

"We have a son, he will be three this month... all the letters I've sent to you, there were pictures of him and..."

"You are lying! This is just another of your tricks to get your hands on a story." He stammers in disbelieve.

"It's the truth. His name is Elliot, I've named him after you... I... I have pictures and you can meet him if you want to... please Elliot, let me explain."

"Show me that picture." He says and with shaking hands I get my wallet out of my purse to show him the pictures of our son, I am carrying in my wallet.

"Here, this picture was taken last month... he looks just like you, Elliot. He is amazing." I show him the picture and he just stares at it. Slowly he starts to shake his head and I want to say something, but for the first time in my life words fail me and I watch in horror as he stumbles towards his car, gets in and takes off.

I had expected a lot... yelling, screaming... maybe even that he would tell me he had read the letters and just doesn't care, but him running off wasn't what I had envisioned.

Maybe it was just the shock... maybe he will be back soon. So, I get into my car and wait for almost an hour for him to return, but he doesn't. I guess that means my little angel has to celebrate his third birthday without his Daddy...

_**Elliot**_

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! A child... I have a child... a boy. Oh fuck, I left... I just ran off... fuck, fuck, double fuck!

As I look around to see where I am, I find that I am almost at Ana's, so I keep driving and find her and Christian outside the guesthouse when I pull up in her driveway.

I park and get out... fuck, I should go back... suppose Kate is leaving for New York now, I want to meet my son.

"Ana? Christian?" I call out to get their attention.

"Elliot, what is wrong?" Ana asks and I try to think of what to tell them.

"Kate... she is back in town... She came to my place... I ... I have a son." I stutter and they both gape at me.

"What do you mean you have a son?" Christian asks.

"Kate, she has a son. He looks like me, she says he is my son. Fuck... I just ran off, Christian."

"Wait, she told you that you have a son and you just took off?"

"Yes, fuck... I didn't know what to do, bro. Damn it, what if she leaves now."

"Kate is staying at Ethan's until next week." Ana says and I frown.

"How do you know that?"

"Come, let's get inside and I explain." I follow them back into the big house and get myself a whisky from the bar, but Ana takes the tumbler away from me and places a cup of coffee in front of me instead.

"You don't want to be drunk when you go to Ethan's to talk to Kate." She says and I nod.

"Kate was here earlier. She... she had a letter from Ray for me."

"Your dad, how?"

"Apparently, my Dad thought that something about helicopter crash and Christian's death didn't add up, so he investigated a little with Kate's help. She had to promise him to make sure that I was safe, if something was to happen to him. When he passed away, she believed it was him asking questions that got him killed. Remember the fights Kate and I had over security?"

"Sure, she was hell bent on getting you to hire Taylor and his men." I murmur... what neither of them knew back then was that Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan and Reynolds all agreed to make sure Ana and her unborn child were safe long before she re-hired them. They followed her for almost five months, until she had to hire them because of Kate's fucking article.

"Kate wrote the article to force me into getting security. She even had someone who was watching me all these years. Look Elliot, I don't know what to do about Kate. I can't think straight right now, but I do believe that you need to talk to her. You've never been able to move on... and deep down you know that you still love her. I can give you Ethan's address and you can go there now. If it's true and she had your child, you need to figure it out... and I for one would love to meet my nephew sooner rather than later."

"What am I going to tell him? He must be what... three? What if he hates me for not being there for him?"

"Elliot, he's your son and you are great with kids. If I've managed to make my daughter love me in no time at all, you'll win him over in the blink of an eye. He is too young to really understand what happened anyway, just tell him that from now on, you'll be a part of his life. Be yourself, kids are crazy about you, Lelliot." Christian says and usually I would agree with him, but this is different. This is my own kid and I have missed out on three years of his life.

"Here, this is Ethan's address, it's not that far from here." Ana hands me a piece of paper and I stare at it.

"Do you still have the box I asked you to keep for me, Ana?"

"Sure, it's in my study, wait I get it for you."

"What's in the box?" Christian asks.

"The letters Kate has sent to me in the last three years, I couldn't bring myself to trash them, but I also didn't want to read them. I brought them here, so I wouldn't give in and read them. Kate said there are pictures of my son in them."

"You still love her?"

"Back then, I wanted to propose to her, it just never seemed to be the right time. Then it all turned to shit..."

"I don't know if you want my advise, but if you still feel the same and Kate wants you back, don't hold on to any hard feelings. It's just not worth it... look at the mess I've created with Ana... she couldn't care less about me and it's my fault, don't make the same mistake with Kate."

"Ana cares about you, bro. But thanks for your advise."

A little later I am back in my car looking at all the letters Kate has sent me over the past three and half years. I look through them and take one which was sent in July of 2012 which must be around the time she gave birth to my son.

_Dear Elliot,_

_You are probably not going to read this letter, but I'm writing it anyway, because at least it makes me feel like you are still a part of my life. And I have exiting news to share. Elliot James Kavanagh was born on July 5th at 2 am. He weighs 6 lbs 7 oz and is 21 inches long. _

_He is perfect, Elliot, the most precious little boy I have ever seen. He has your eyes, your nose and even your funny looking toes. I wish things would be different and you were here with us, but I guess I have no one to blame but myself for the choices I have made. _

_I've tried to call you right after he was born, but I guess you've been sick of my attempts to call you and changed all of your numbers. I get it, you must think I'm some sort of sick stalker and maybe by now that's what I am, but I just know that I won't be able to move on. _

_I was never a person who believed in love at first sight, not until I met you and it happened to me. I know you won't believe me, but I did what I did with Ana's best interest at heart. Maybe one day you'll give me the chance to explain it to you. Until then I'm going to continue to send you letters, in the hope that one day you'll open one of them and read about our precious baby boy._

_Laters baby, _

_Kate_

There is a picture in the envelope, showing my son just after he was born and I have to laugh when I see that Kate also put a picture of his little feet in the envelope. Damn, poor kid really inherited my funny looking toes. I continue to read her letters and finally, I can't take it anymore. I need to talk to her, now!

The drive to Ethan's is nerve wrecking, because I'm so fucking nervous, I really don't know what to do. I'm not sure what to say or how to act. In this moment the bitter thought comes to me that it took only one crazy bitch like Elizabeth Morgan to fuck up all our lives. Ana and Christian, Kate and I... hell even Mia who broke up with Ethan after what Kate did; all the heartbreak my parents had to go through when we believed Christian died... she also fucked up Ros' life and that of her entire family... If I ever see that woman, I will forget everything my parents have taught me and beat the fucking crap out of her!

At Ethan's I ring the doorbell and a minute later Kate opens the door, her eyes are swollen and blood shot, while still more tears are running down her face and in that moment I just react and pull her in my arms, which makes her cry even harder.

"I'm sorry... so, so sorry." She sobs and I just continue to hold her until eventually she is all cried out.

"So... may I come in?"

"Yes... sorry, the new me is a cry baby." She mutters embarrassed and I laugh.

"Good for you that you look hot, even when you are crying." I grin and she snorts.

"Do you want a drink?"

"No thanks... Kate, why didn't you trust me back then. You could have told me."

She sits down and shakes her head sadly. "Elliot, when whoever the hell burned to death and everyone believed it was Christian..."

"Wait... you know?" _Fuck is she here for a story after all?_

"Yes, I had security looking out for Ana, her daughter and your family since I've left Seattle. They took some pictures of him in town with Chrissie. I have to say I had to look at the pictures twice to notice it's Christian, but I know that he is alive and don't worry, I'm not selling the pictures for a good story. I guess you haven't really followed my career, haven't you?"

"No."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, I'm Katherine Kavanagh, proud senior editor at Mother and Child magazine... oh and I'm also co-owner of a kids store. We sell everything from clothes to homemade baby food." She grins and I cannot fucking believe what I am hearing.

"You are working for a mommy magazine?"

"Yes, after I had our son, my whole outlook on the world and what I wanted from life changed. I want our son to be proud of me, and I don't believe that he would like it if his mother was making money by invading someone else's privacy. I know that I'm never going to win the Pulitzer Prize, but that's okay, because when I come home in the evening and look into the mirror I like the person I'm seeing. I don't need other people to constantly tell my how great I am anymore, because for the first time in my life, I'm happy with myself and what I am doing."

"I'm glad you are happy, but why didn't you trust me back then."

"Elliot, I wanted to tell you, but you were heartbroken back then. You would wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and screaming for someone to help your brother. You... all of your family and Ana, you all have been sick with grief. I don't know how often I found you out on the porch drunk and crying or screaming at the heavens to give you your brother back. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you that someone might murdered your brother... I knew it would have been too much for you to take and I had nothing to provef it... all it would have done back then was adding to the tremendous hurt and pain you and your family were already going through. And then Ray died and I was scared that someone actually killed him because he was asking question. I... I panicked, Ana wasn't budging on the security issue, I didn't feel like there was anyone I could talk to and I made a desperate move. There's not one day that passes by without me asking myself if there was a different way for me to keep Ana safe... and I always come up blank. I lost my only friend, the love of my life and had to give birth to my son all alone... but here we are, Christian is alive, Ana and her daughter are safe and I know that no matter how things are between us, you will be a wonderful father for our son, so I guess it all worked out in the end."

I sit down too and look at my hands. She is right, I was a complete mess for almost a year after we believed that Christian had died. And really, this is not the time to hold on to a grudge. We all have been through hell and back and I'm so ready for a fresh start...

"Will you move back to Seattle?"

"I am thinking about it, I was offered the chance to become chief editor for the online edition of the magazine I am working for now, which means that I am able to work from wherever I want to live and I could also open a second branch of my store here in Seattle. Most of all, I want our son to grow up close to his family."

_And that's all the answers I need. _

_**Ethan**_

"I'll carry the girls, will you take Elliot, babe?" I ask my wife when we arrive back home with three sleeping toddlers in the backseat of the car.

"Sure, look at them, they are true angels." Ashley smiles and I chuckle.

"Yes, they are, as long as they are asleep." I wink at her and unfasten the girls from their car seats. Ashley who has Elliot in her arms is already walking towards the door, goes in and steps outside immediately.

"What's wrong, Ashley?"

"I'd say your sister is moving back to Seattle and little Elliot here will grow up with happy parents... by the way, neither we nor the girls are going ever sit on that sofa in the living room again."

"What, why?"

"Because I just saw this little guy's parents doing the dirty on our living room sofa. How about we get the kids back into the car and get some take out for dinner... I have seen more of my sister in law and future brother in law than I ever wanted to see and from the looks of it they won't be finished for a while."

"Sure, how about that little Italian place downtown?" I ask... well, looks like Katie really took my advise and talked to Elliot. I for one couldn't be happier for my sister. She deserves to be happy... actually all of them deserve to be happy after everything they have been through since Christian's death...


	15. Chapter 15

_**The next three or four chapters are solely going to focus on Christian and Ana, after that there is one chapter of Elliot telling his family that Kate is back in his life and that they have a son. After that I'll tie up the whole Ros/Kelsey/Elizabeth triangle...**_

_**Something off topic: I was asked several times when I am going to post Broken II and a new chapter for Seduction. I will start to post Broken II immediately after this story or The Mile High Club is finished, which should be by the end of the month. Seduction however is giving me a really hard time, I've been trying to get back into the story for almost two months now, but I haven't managed to write anything worth posting, so I can't tell when the new chapter will be up...**_

* * *

_**Christian**_

"Christian, I'm going to be very honest with you. You have been here every day for a week now, and I still have the feeling that you are not being completely honest. May, I ask how often you have seen, Ana since you moved into the guesthouse?" John asks and I scowl at him.

"Christian?"

"Twice, I've seen her twice." I spit out and John nods.

"That doesn't sound to me like you are trying to win her back. You once told me that when the two of you broke up, you couldn't function without her. How is it that now you can go for days without seeing her."

"She doesn't want to be around me! Happy now? Ana doesn't seem to mind that I keep my distance. At first she was sick with jealousy, I could see it, feel it. Now, there is nothing, John. When we are in the same room she is treating me like some nobody she used to know. Fuck me, I told her that Kelsey was a good lay, just to get some sort of reaction from her and she didn't even blink. I feel like she is happy as long as I'm not around and it's killing me that she shows no emotion around me. She said that she wants to be with me, but honestly, it sounded like some fucking line one would use just to get off the topic... pretty sure next she is telling me she wants to be fucking friends! Fuck, I've ruined us, John. I should have trusted her to handle the situation right away... maybe then she would still want to be with me."

"Do you believe Ana is the kind of person who would say something she doesn't mean?"

"No, but she always had the tendency to distract a person to get off a topic she doesn't want to discuss. John, I just want her back, but I can't stand that she is so distant, like it means nothing to her that I am back. And now she has that fucker around all the time."

"Whom?"

"Noah Whitmore." I growl. He has been over at Ana's place every day for the past week and last night, when I came over to read Chrissie a bedtime story, I've heard them in the living room laughing and joking. It took all my self-control not to charge in there and beat the hell out of the fucker.

"From what I've heard he is the new CEO of GEH." John says and a low growl rumbles through my chest.

"Interim CEO. As soon as all the legal stuff is cleared, I'll be the CEO again and that fucker can go to hell."

"So you've made up your mind, about going back to work?"

"Yes, I want my life back, John. Ever since I'm living in the guesthouse, I had a lot of time to think. I'm not made to just hang around. I want to work again, maybe not to the extend I used to, but GEH is my baby and I'll be damned if I allow some fucker to run it, just so he can get into Ana's panties... besides, if I take my rightful place at GEH again, Ana has to spend time with me. In fact, I want her as my COO. This way, she has to see me every day and hopefully I can remind her of the feelings she had for me... besides Ana has become one of the best business woman in the country, I would have to be fucking stupid not to hire her."

"Have you considered that she might not be interested in working for GEH."

"Then I help her to find something she wants to do." Or if I'm really lucky, I have won her back by then and we can think about making a little brother or sister for Chrissie.

"Have you thought about my suggestion?" John asks and I get up and start to pace.

"I don't want to see her, John."

"Even if not legally, but to you she was your wife, Christian. I do believe you can't really close that chapter in your life, if you are not going to see Kelsey. You deserve closure."

"She won't give me any kind of closure, John." I snap and the fucker has the audacity to smile.

"Christian, let's talk about your 'marriage' for a while. You know, it's the one thing were you always change what you are telling me. One time you said you thought you loved her, then you told me you just married her to prove a point to yourself and then you told me that you married her, because she was the only woman your age in the village. Now, what is the truth Christian?" He asks and I glare at him, why does he want me to talk about that shit?

"Fine, you want to know. I married her, because she was an easy lay, I did like her and when she thought I had knocked her up, I did what I thought was the right thing and married her. Back then, she told me that the test must have shown a false result, now I do believe it was just another of her lies."

"But you had a normal marriage?"

"I suppose, well I wouldn't say that we were blissfully happy, Kelsey was always stubborn and fucking difficult, but it wasn't all bad."

"Have you tried for a child after the wedding?"

"She wanted to, but I wasn't to keen on having kids right away... later it got rather difficult to try." I mutter and John arches one eyebrow.

"As you know, I was drugged during my time in Alabama. As I know now one of the long term side effects of these drugs is the complete loss of the libido, due to lack of testosterone. After a year or so, we would fuck like once a month and even then I had a hard time to get it up. Most days it was a good day when my dick would just twitch in my pants once or twice. Of course, I went to see the good doctor in town, but he told me that I was fine physically and that my psyche was responsible for my lack of sexual appetite. Kelsey tried everything, but I guess that was one of the reason she was so desperate to get fucked after I stopped taking her so called vitamins."

"Have you seen a doctor, since you are back?" John asks concerned.

"Yes, of course, first my mother insisted on it and the FBI needed a full medical report as evidence. I'm still having some mild troubles... but it's getting better."

"Are you sure, you know there is nothing to be ashamed about..."

"John, three days ago I was at the park with Chrissie. When I brought her home, Ana walked into the kitchen wearing the tiniest fucking bathing suit I have ever seen. Long story short, I was hard for nearly an hour and neither jerking off nor a cold shower helped... because every time the picture of Ana wearing this fucking bathing suit popped back into my mind I was hard a again... and by hard I mean I could have used my dick as towel rack." I mutter and John chuckles.

"Well, good for you, Christian. But let's get back to Kelsey. I do believe that talking to her will be beneficial for you, because I do believe, that deep down you had some sort of feelings towards her and you are acting as if it wasn't the like that, so you don't have to admit to yourself that again a woman in your life who was supposed to love you betrayed your trust." He says and I had about enough.

"John, I think our time is up for today." I get up and he follows.

"Christian, sometimes we have to face our fears in order to be happy in life."

"John, I did not love her. I know what it feels like to be in love and it's not what I felt for Kelsey. Whatever feelings I had for her went away as soon as I remembered who I am. I have to leave now, I promised Chrissie to be back in time for her bedtime story." I mutter and leave before he can go on and on about that shit. Why would I want to visit Kelsey in jail? It's not like she would be honest anyway. So far she has changed her story four fucking times...

Arriving back at Ana's, I park my R8 and head into the big house. Walking towards the stairs I hear the clicking of heels coming closer and when Ana steps into my line of sight my jaw nearly hits the floor.

She is dressed in a peach colored bandage dress, which is clinging to her body like a second skin.

"Hi Christian, Gail is giving Chrissie a bath, it's best if you go upstairs now. Noah will be here any second and we would never make our reservation if I had to explain to him, why you are not dead." She says and just walks past me. _What the fuck!_

"Ana wait!" I snap and she turns around.

"Do you need something? I think Gail has dinner for you in the oven..."

"I don't care about fucking dinner right now! Where the fuck do you think you are going dressed like that?"

"Well, after I've spent an entire week to get Noah up to date with all the deals and everything else at GEH, we've decided that we have earned ourselves a night off. We are having dinner at the Mile High Club and after that we want to go to a club. Gail is watching Chrissie, but you can stay here too if you want."

"So you're having a date with that fucker!" I hiss and she rolls her eyes which only pisses me off more. _Calm down, Grey... at least she has security watching her. _

"It's not a date... well I guess one could say it is, but Noah and I are just friends. Anyway, you need to get out of sight... bye Christian." _Did she just fucking dismiss me? _

"Ana, I'm not done talking to you." I call after her and she turns around and smirks.

"Laters, Christian." And with that she is out of the door and I hear a car pulling up out front.

"Taylor!" I call out and he appears in the hallway.

"Mr. Grey?"

"Why are you not following, Ana?"

"She insisted to go alone, Sir. But you don't have to worry, Mr. Grey. Mr. Whitmore is trained in mixed martial arts, in fact, before he started his endeavors in the business world he was a very well-known MMA fighter."

"Well, good for him... fuck it. I'll follow them!"

"Mr. Grey... Christian, please leave Ana alone. She deserves an evening with a friend. Mr. Whitmore is not interested in her and..."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen her dress? She could turn a monk into a man-whore by wearing that dress alone!"

"Ana is a grown woman, Mr. Grey, she can dress however she sees fit. I can only repeat that she and Mr. Whitmore are friends, nothing more, nothing less. You have to trust her." Taylor says and I want to argue, but there is not much I can do. If I follow them and ruin her night Ana will be fucking pissed, which is the last thing I need right now.

"CHRISTIAN GRACE GREY COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" I suddenly hear Gail yell upstairs and hurry up the stairs to catch my naked and covered in foam daughter at the top of the stairs.

"Daddy!" She squeals and I can't help but laugh.

"What are you doing, sweetheart? You'll catch a cold."

"But I heard you talking, Daddy. You said a bad word, but it's okay, I won't tell mommy. It's our secret just like when uncle Lelliot says bad words."

"He does, in front of you?" I ask... I'll kick his ass if he does.

"Uh-huh... he says shit and fuck and..."

"Whoa... okay, you don't need to repeat them, Chrissie." _Note to myself: Kill Elliot._

"Mommy says Grammy needs to wash uncle Lelliot's mouth with soap, but I think that's yucky."

"Well, your mommy is right." I say and carry her into the bathroom where I wrap her in a towel and start to dry her hair.

"Daddy, can I see your dog?" Chrissie asks while I am braiding her hair.

"I don't have a dog, princess." I reply and she frowns.

"But I heard mommy tell auntie Mia that you live in the doghouse now. I won't tell anyone about the dog if he's a secret."

"There is no dog, princess. Living in the doghouse it's something you say when someone was naughty and isn't allowed to stay were he or she usually stays."

"Like when Grammy makes Grampy sleep on the couch?"

"Exactly. Did you hear what else your mommy told auntie Mia?"

"Uh-huh... but I don't know what the word means."

"What word?"

"Mommy said you're a jerk."

"Did she now." I chuckle.

"Yep, what's a jerk, Daddy?"

"A jerk is someone who acts rude or inappropriate, but it's a naughty word, so don't say that to anyone."

"Okay, Daddy can you read Tinkerbell and the pirate fairy for me?"

"Sure, come, let's get you into bed, Chrissie."

After I have read Chrissie a story and waited until she is asleep, I leave her bedroom and slowly walk downstairs. _So, I'm in the doghouse for being a jerk, interesting!_

Three hours later, I'm pacing the living room ready to pull my hair out. Why the fuck isn't she home yet? Damn, what if the fucker is getting her drunk to seduce her... if Ana hasn't changed, then she will be drunk in no time.

I decide to track her phone, maybe she is in trouble. The signal shows that she is at a night club near Escala. _Fuck it's just after ten, should I go and take her home?_

One more hour later, I've had enough and I'm just about to leave the house to drive to the club when my phone rings.

"Yes?"

"You are not Taylor... s'he there?"

"Ana, are you drunk?"

"No... I'm past being drunk." She giggles and I roll my eyes. _Of all the fucking trips down memory lane we could have taken she had to pick the fucking drunk dialing. _

"Is your friend with you?"

"Nope, I told him that I'm leaving. Ask Taylor to pick me up... and to bring a bucket... just in case." She slurs and I'm already in my car and put the phone in the hands free.

"Ana, I want you to go back into the club and order a water."

"Ohhh, you're such a party pooper. If I go back inside I'll have another Cosmo."

"Don't you dare, Anastasia! You are already fucking drunk, you'll be sick as dog tomorrow if you have anymore alcohol."

"What's it to you... you know what.. don't ask Taylor to come and get me... I'm going back in ... you go back to Alabama and fuck Kelsey... after all she's such a good lay, right?"

"Ana do not..." _Great, just fucking great...she hung up on me...again! _

I try to call her again, but she doesn't answer, so I drive even faster and arrive at the club about twenty five minutes later. Well, fuck it's good damn crowded even outside and Ana is nowhere to be seen. I grab my baseball cap from the glove department and pull it deep into my face before I get out of the car and head for the entrance.

"You have to take that cap of dude." The guy at the entrance tells me and as I do he takes a step back.

"Whoa, fuck me, dude you look like that dead guy... you know the business mogul who managed to blow himself up with his chopper."

"Yeah, heard that one before, can I get in, I just need to pick my girl up, she had too much to drink."

"Sure...and here take my card, my cousins has an agency for celebrity look-a-likes, you could earn a lot." He says and I just take the fucking card and head inside.

Looking around it's not hard to find Ana. She is on the dance floor in a bump and grind sandwich with two guys and Whitmore is trying to get her off the dance floor. I see red.

Within three seconds I'm at her side and she is dangling over my shoulder.

"Hey, put the lady down right now, asshole." Whitmore hisses at me and I glare at him. His eyes get as big as saucers and he blinks several times.

"She's mine, back off!" I hiss at him and start to walk towards the exit with Ana pounding her fists against my back and ass, all the while she is calling me every name in the book. _Damn, I want to spank her so badly. _Reminding myself that she is drunk as hell, I take a deep breath and ignore the urge to spank her.

Outside by my car, I put her down and it's only then that I notice Whitmore has followed us.

"Wait a fucking second... you are supposed to be dead."

"He's not... he just a tremendous jerk, Noah... see I was having fun and he is ruining it for me!" I whines.

"Ana, you are drunk... you need to go home and sleep it off. Maybe tomorrow one of you can enlighten me what the hell is going on."

"Well, if you see that too, then why the fuck didn't you drive her home, asshole?" _Who the hell does that, go out with a girl and leave her to find her own way home?_

"I would have done so, but Ana insisted that I stay..."

"Leave him alone, Christian! He saw a girl he wants to fuck tonight... you'd like her, she is blonde and has a huge ass... like your not so legal wife... you know... the great lay!"

"Okay you guys, I think it's best you leave now, there are paparazzi over there and they've just noticed you Ana... I'll distract them so they won't snap pictures of you, Grey... get her home she really needs to sleep it off... I wouldn't have allowed her so many cocktails, but I had no idea that she has such a low tolerance for alcohol."

"I don't! My tolerance for alcohol is way up here." Ana giggles and jumps up only to nearly land on her ass.

"Okay party queen, enough partying for you." I mutter and drag her into my car. Once I have secured the seatbelt around her, I get in and start to drive.

"I need to pee, Christian... really bad."

"Hold on, I'm taking you to Escala."

"No... I want to go home... I want to see Chrissie."

"Ana you are drunk out of your mind, believe me, you don't want our daughter to see you like that."

"You don't get to tell if I can see my daughter or not... and anyway, I wanted to call Taylor not you."

"Well too fucking bad, because you called me and I'm sure that Christian is not right underneath Taylor in your contact list."

"No." She laughs. "But I have saved Taylor under Jason and you under jerk so it's right underneath him."

"So, I'm a jerk?"

"Among other things yes." She huffs... _looks like she cares after all. _

"Out of curiosity, is that why I'm living in the doghouse... excuse me... guesthouse now?"

"Yup... you're in the doghouse, Grey. Better get used to it... if hell freezes over and I take you back... you might end up there again."

"And what exactly got me into the doghouse?"

"You want the list? Fine! Making me believe you are happily married... not doing anything when your so called wife acted like a bitch towards me... smacking my ass when I was just speaking my mind... telling me that Kelsey was a great lay... like really you're a guy, so I already give you credit in the being stupid section... but that one really won the prize and then just you being you in general... and above all of that for believing I'm taking you back no matter how shitty you treat me... like I'm your doormat and you're the only guy who would be interested in me... if you hurt me and treat me like shit I can do the same thing... only ... only better!" She slurs the last words leans her head against the car window and drifts off.

Once we are in the garage at Escala I take a moment to look at Ana. She has changed a lot, but then again, so have I. I always knew that Ana is a strong person, but seeing everything that she has done and achieved in the last four years... she is way stronger and independent than I have given her credit for. But she has also built walls around her and is not allowing me in, she is shutting me out because she doesn't want to get hurt again... at least that's something I can understand and work with.

I climb out of the car and unbuckle Ana's seatbelt just as her eyes snap open.

"What are you doing?"

"Unbuckling your seatbelt, we are at Escala, can you walk or do you want me to carry you."

"I can walk." She mumbles and nearly falls head first out of the car, but when I offer to help her she shoves me away and stumbles towards the elevator. Once inside I have to fight the urge to laugh at her, she has her legs crossed and is muttering faster over and over again.

"Do not laugh at me, Grey! I'm about to pee my pants."

"Wouldn't dream of it, baby." I grin and her eyes turn into angry little slits, but then the elevator stops and she darts out of it and into the direction of the master bedroom. I follow her in a more leisurely pace and peek into the bathroom only to dug out of the way when Ana throws a roll of toilet paper my way.

"Hey, it's rude to watch a lady pee!" She scolds, but three seconds later she calls out again. "Christian, I need that toilet paper back, it was the only roll."

I step back inside and hand her the roll with a smirk but frown when she rolls half the roll around her hand.

"Okay, I'm not an expert when it comes to female bathroom habits, but isn't that an awful lot of toilet paper?"

"But it's so fluffy, like a little cloud... I need to ask Gail where she buys it... Christian?"

"Yes Ana?"

"Do I have to give Gail back too? I want to keep her, she reminds me of my mom... I miss my mom."

"Ana, Gail is a grown woman, she can make her own decisions and to be honest, I haven't even thought about that... and if you miss your mom, you can just call her or go to Georgia."

"No, I can't... I was so mean to her, I told her that she is dead to me... she hates me... because that's what I do, I get angry and I say all these hurtful things and I just can't stop myself and I don't want to be like that and my mom will never forgive me..." She sobs and I kneel in front of her.

"Your mother loves you, believe me if you call her she will delighted. Come, let me help you." I give her some privacy by turning my head so she can wipe herself and once she is done, I help her to her feet, pull her panties back up and carry her into the bedroom.

"Wait here, I get you a t-shirt."

Once she is dressed in one of my t-shirts, I tuck her in and she looks up at me with her beautiful blue orbs.

"Christian... if... if Kelsey wasn't involved in all of this, would you still want to be with her?"

"Ana, as long as you are in my life, there is no woman of this earth who could make me not want to be with you. You are the only woman I want and that is never going to change."

"Even if she was a good lay?"

"Baby, there are many women out there who are a good lay, but you top them all... Kelsey has nothing on you neither in that department nor any other." I tell her and a small smile tugs at her lips.

"That's good." She yawns. "But you are still in the doghouse... but I like you a little bit more than I did earlier today... night Christian."

"Good night, Ana. I'll be upstairs in the guestroom if you need anything."

"No, please stay... I've laid awake in this bed for so many nights praying you'd come back to me, I want you to hold me... just for tonight." She murmurs and her eyelids flutter for a moment before she is fast asleep.

I hesitate for a moment, maybe she won't be pleased to find me here in the morning... but then I can't resist. I kick my shoes off, strip down to my boxer briefs and slip into the bed behind her. Pulling her close to me I inhale to flowery scent of her hair and sigh... _this is what I need, my Ana... my home. _


	16. Chapter 16

_**Just a little heads up, I won't be able to update until Friday or Saturday... and I still haven't had the time to reply to all the PM's I have gotten in the last two weeks, I'll try to answer them until Friday, but I can't promise it...**_

* * *

_**Ana**_

I wake up to bright daylight and screw my eyes shut immediately... wait, why am I at Escala? And then the memories of last night return. Drinking at the club... jeez, did I drink... drunk dialing Christian ... he took me to Escala ... oh shit... why the hell did I decide to get drunk?

Very slowly I sit up and find a glass of orange juice and two Advil on the nightstand. I down half the orange juice in one sip to wash the awful taste in my mouth away. _Urgh, tastes like I've tried to lick roadkill of the road. _

Once I have taken both pills, I get up and walk into the bathroom. _Oh man, I look like shit. _

Taking off Christian's t-shirt I step into the shower and take a cold shower to wake me up, but it's no help. So after washing myself I wrap myself into a towel and quickly dry my hair. Since I have no clothes here, I put on another of Christian's t-shirts and make my way to the kitchen where I find Christian making breakfast.

"Good morning, Anastasia, slept well?" He asks smiling and I roll my eyes.

"Nothing good about this morning." I mutter and sit down at the breakfast bar. "Do you enjoy to cook?"

"It's not my favorite hobby, but I have to admit that it is somewhat satisfying to know that I don't have to rely on someone else to make my meals. Your friend called several times already, I've told him you would call back once you are up." He says and points to my phone.

"You've answered my phone?" I snap, what the fuck?

"Ana, I didn't plan to do it, but he had tried to reach you six times already by the time I answered the phone, I thought maybe something was wrong at GEH..."

"Just don't do it again, I don't like it." I mutter and take my phone to call Noah. Since he saw Christian last night, I ask him to stop by at Escala and he promises to be there within the next thirty minutes. When I return to the breakfast bar Christian places my breakfast in front of me and burst into a fit of giggles.

"See, that's better." He chuckles.

"I'm not a kid you know." I giggle and can't help but snap a picture of my breakfast. Christian has made me one huge pancake and he has placed two fried eggs, a piece of butter and bacon on top of it to make it look like a smiling face.

"Oh, I do know that you are not a kid, Miss Steele, but you need to smile and giggle more often."

"Yeah... maybe... anyway, Noah is coming over soon, he wants to know how you returned to the land of the living."

"I figured that much, you should fire his ass while he is here, what kind of sick fuck takes one girl out and goes home with someone else."

"Christian, it wasn't a real date, we were just hanging out as friends. Noah is a good guy, believe me, I've learned my lesson after Jose."

"Elliot told me he proposed to you." Christian's says and looks as if he had just taken a huge bite out of a lemon.

"Elliot doesn't know half of the shit Jose pulled or else he would have killed him. Sawyer and Taylor nearly did."

"What has that fucker done to you?" He asks and I shudder just thinking about it.

"The night after Chrissie was born, I was completely out of it and when I woke up and wanted to see her, she wasn't in the nursery."

"What?" Christian asks horrified.

"Yeah, I had a complete hysterical meltdown while Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan and Reynolds nearly tore the place down. Turns out that Jose managed to get into the nursery, because he had stolen one of these bracelets every parent gets after the delivery. He went into the nursery, took Chrissie and hid with her in an empty room. When Taylor found him he and Luke beat Jose up so badly, he had about five cracked ribs, a broken wrist and his face was unrecognizable. Jose was arrested then and there. Later he told the police that Chrissie was his daughter and that I was manipulated by your family into believing she was your daughter. They even found a room full of pictures of me in his apartment along with two one way tickets to Mexico. He is still in jail and won't get out on parole for at least two more years. He is still sending me letters, but the security keeps them from me... I just don't want to read what ever his sick mind produces."

"I knew it! That fucker... was Chrissie unharmed?"

"Yes, she was fine... believe me if he had hurt one hair on her head he wouldn't have survived that day."

"Why is it that Elliot doesn't know this."

"Christian do you have any idea how much your brother loves you?" I ask and he shrugs.

"No, don't shrug it off, when we thought you were dead... it nearly killed him, Christian. Elliot had the most horrible nightmares for almost two years. Most days he would walk around like a zombie and your parents and I agreed that hearing Jose nearly kidnapped Chrissie could easily have been the last straw that tipped him over the edge."

"Nightmares?" Christian murmurs.

"He... he would dream that he was with you when Charlie Tango crashed. That he saw you burn alive and couldn't help you. He is the oldest brother and he felt like he failed to protect you."

"Your breakfast is getting cold, baby." He murmurs and turns around to clean the kitchen. I guess this is his way of telling me that he does not want to discuss this topic any longer.

So, I eat my breakfast and quickly put one of his old sweatpants on before Noah arrives. It's actually quite comical how he eyes Christian when he steps into the penthouse.

"Okay, so how did you manage to pull a Bobby Ewing, Grey?" He finally asks and Christian rolls his eyes.

"The FBI is still investigating the case, so I'm not at liberty to give you any information." Christian says coldly.

"Noah, this has to stay between us for now. I promise I'll answer all of your questions later, but for now it is important that no one knows that Christian is alive."

"I won't tell anyone... so, you two are back together?"

"Yes." Christian says firmly.

"No." I reply and Noah actually laughs.

"Oh Steele, so you've waited four years for the impossible to happen and now that he is back you are giving the poor guy a hard time? Come on, get the cobwebs off your pussy and get back in the game."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you actually said that." I half gasp half giggle.

"What? It is what it is... your pussy had a do not disturb sign out for four years... I'm surprised you haven't jumped him the second he walked through the door."

"Hey, watch it! I'm not liking the tone you are taking with her." Christian snaps.

"Sorry, dude, but I was actually trying to do you a favor here."

"Then don't do me any favors, it's complicated, okay?"

"Sure, so... I leave you two to it. I'll see you at the office on Tuesday, Ana banana." He says and leaves.

"Okay, let me get this straight... you let this guy run our company?" Christian hisses and I want to reply... but stop. _Did he just talked about OUR company?_

"_Our _company?" I ask and he runs his hands through his hair.

"I was thinking about making you my COO or even partner once I get everything back." He replies and I sigh.

"Christian, I appreciate your offer, I really do and I will help you to get back in the game once all the legalities are dealt with... but I don't see myself in the business world for the rest of my life. I would love to go back into publishing maybe even to write a book myself and you need a full time COO, I only ever went to the office three days a week. I'm there if you need me, but right now all I really want is reaaaallllly long vacation with no internet, phone calls or even TV."

"Sounds as if you are going to secluded island... can I join you there?" He asks and for some reason I'm in the mood to tease him.

"You could... I would need a cook after all, because I'm not planning to move a muscle once I'm there. Of course, you would have to audition like the rest of the male staff... you know, so I can assess if you fit my standards." I smirk and he raises one brow.

"Is that so, and what exactly would I have to do to get the job?"

"Oh, since I've already tasted your food, I know that your cooking won't be a problem... so I would only need for you to change into the uniform my staff has to wear."

"And what kind of uniform are you envisioning?" He asks and slowly moves closer to me.

"A bow tie." I reply smiling.

"Wait, so your dream vacation would be on a secluded island with male staff and all of them have to wear a tux?"

"No... all of them have to wear a bow tie... nothing else." I smirk.

"Oh Miss Steele, you do realize that I could sue you for sexual harassment for that offer alone." He smirks back.

"No you wouldn't, because I wouldn't wear anything either."

"Now that sounds like a really good job offer. Were do I have to sign up for the job?" He smirks and is now right in front of me. I know what I'm about to do next is a really shitty thing to do, but I need to know... I need to know if his feelings for me are really still there and there is only one way to find out. I reach up and cup his face in my hands.

"I don't know... and actually, now that I have thought about it, I don't even like the beach... sorry." With that I let my hands slide down to his shoulders and further down until both my hands are on his chest. He doesn't even flinch, but the look on his face tells me that he knows exactly that this was my plan all along.

"If you wanted to know if you could still touch me, you could have just asked, Ana. Don't play games with me, it turns you into a person you are not."

"So, you are the only person who is allowed to play games?" I ask and step back.

"No, but you are better than that."

"And maybe that is the problem, Christian. Maybe I am just not that perfect little angel you believe I am... anyway, I need to go home, Chrissie is going to miss us already..."

_**Six Days Later**_

"Ana, I want to be honest with you. I know I've only been your therapist for two weeks now, but the reason why you feel alone is that you are choosing to be alone."

"That's not true, Ethan..."

"Ana, you've told me yourself that you miss your mother, yet you don't want to contact her. You've told me that Mia has asked you to go out with her until she just couldn't stand to be turned down by you anymore. You've admitted that you want to be with Christian and that he is really trying to make amends for the way he has treated you, yet you keep him at arms length. You are putting distance between yourself and the life you want to have. The question is why are you doing this and not just now, but even before, back when I've met you in college. You've always been the girl who would rather stay home alone then to join her friends on a night out. There is no one who is keeping you from living your life the way you want to other than yourself, Ana." Ethan says and I stare at the clock on the wall willing to move faster.

"It ain't gonna move faster, Ana. So you might as well talk to me."

"I don't want to allow myself to dream of the life I want to have, because I know it will all turn to shit the moment I do so. If I go to Georgia to talk to my mom, she won't be happy to see me. If I give Christian a chance, he is going to figure out that I am not what he wants and if I dare to dream of a happy life, it's just not going to happen, Ethan. I've been there... I can't go through all of that heartbreak again."

"What do you mean you've been there?"

"I was never one to take any risks and the one time I did... the one time I dreamt of a happy life it all turned into a huge pile of shit."

"When was that?"

"The morning after Christian proposed to me. I was unsure about my answer, I didn't think I could be all he needs... and then I decided not to care. I wanted to be his wife so much... I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, have his children and grow old with him and look what happened. For once in my life I was willing to take a risk and not even 24 hours later my life took a turn I never could have imagined."

Ethan looks at me thoughtful for a moment and then shakes his head.

"Have you considered that by choosing to be alone you are hurting the people who care about you a great deal?"

"I don't."

"Oh, you do, Ana and you know it. Your mother is still calling Grace Grey once a week just to make sure you are doing fine, yet she is heart broken that her own daughter doesn't care enough to call at least once and ask how she is doing. Poor Mia must believe that you just don't like very much, after all, if you did, you would go out with her every once in a while. And Christian, put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He lost four years of his life, he will never have the memory of holding his daughter in his arms after she was born and all he wants is to be with the woman he loves, yet she is rejecting him... worse she is allowing him to believe that there is hope for you to e together... but be real Ana, you won't give him a second chance... poor guy will be heartbroken all over again once he realizes it."

"STOP IT!"

"Why? It's the truth, Ana. You are not just keeping yourself from being happy, you are holding back Christian too and what about your daughter? One day she will come to you and ask you why she never got to experience to grow up with parents who love each other..."

"Please stop, Ethan."

"Then tell me why are you doing it, what are you scared of? Why are you keeping yourself from being happy, Ana. You are still so young and you have all the possibilities in the world to become whatever you want to be. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith to be happy."

"I'm afraid, Ethan. I'm so afraid that I do dream about a happy future and everything comes crashing down on me again." I cry and Ethan hands me a tissue.

"I know that you are scared, Ana, but the alternative is that one day many years from now you will wake up and torture yourself with endless what if's. Maybe by then your mom won't be alive anymore, so you'll never get the chance to talk to her again. Maybe in a year or two Christian is going to give up hope and move on with someone else... and then you will be alone. I don't want that for you, Ana. I don't want you to live with regrets."

_I don't want you to live with regrets... maybe Ethan is right, maybe it is time for me to take a leap of faith..._

In my car, I put my phone into the hands free and call Christian.

"Hi Ana... what's up?"

"Hi... listen, I'm having a date tonight... can you come over to the big house at seven and watch Chrissie for me?"

There is a long pause and if I am not mistaken I hear glass breaking.

"Sure, I'll be there." He says clipped and ends the call. I look at my watch. It's just after two in the afternoon, so I have enough time to get everything ready for my date...


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hi guys, I just wanted to let you know, that from now on, I will update this story once a week on Saturdays. I've already told you that I'm having some family issues to take care of ... so it's basically that my husband and I had to take his sister's kids in. It was planned to be an arrangement for the no longer than three weeks, but as it seems now it's going to be up to six months, which means I am now taking care of nine kids age 4 months to 15 years... **_

_**By the way I didn't have the time to re-read this chapter after making some changes, so I'm story for all the mistakes you most likely find.**_

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to EL James**_

* * *

_**Christian**_

I cannot fucking believe it! This is what I have become, the babysitter for her to have a fucking date! What the hell is the Kavanagh boy doing that she is now going on dates? I'll fucking kill him!

Exactly at seven I step into the big house and Taylor tells me that Ana is in the kitchen. I stop just outside the kitchen when I see Ana. She is dressed in jeans and a green silk camisole, no shoes. Her hair is parted into pigtails and she is cooking. _Fuck, is she having her date here? In the house that was supposed to be ours?_

"I know that you are watching me, Christian." She says and there is something about her tone of voice I haven't heard since I am back... she sounds happy.

"Well, yeah... where is Chrissie?"

"At your parent's house, she is sleeping there tonight."

"I see, well then I guess I am no longer needed." I mutter.

"Wait, can you bring the wine out to the patio, the weather is so nice tonight. I thought we could eat outside." She says and I stop dead in my tracks...

"We as in you and I?"

"Yup, I've made my famous lasagna for dinner."

"What about your date?" I ask dumbfounded and she giggles.

"You are my date tonight, Mr. Grey... sorry that I tricked you by asking you to watch Chrissie, but I was kind of nervous about this, so if my inner coward had won, you would have never found out about it... if you don't..."

"I'll take the wine outside, can I help you with anything else?"

"No, I just need to put the lasagna in the oven, then we can start with the salad." She says with a smile and my face starts to hurt I'm smiling so brightly. I take the wine and carry it out to the patio, where I place it on the nicely arranged table and two minutes later Ana comes out and places two plates with salad and fresh dinner rolls on the table.

"So, how come we are having a date, Miss Steele?" I ask while pouring her a glass of white wine.

"Well, a friend of mine told me that I need to take a leap of faith and allow myself to be happy. So, I'm trying to do that."

"And having a date with me is making you happy?"

"Just seeing you healthy and alive is making me happy, Christian. I know I didn't really show it lately, but I'm really happy that you are back. I've been difficult lately, but that has nothing to do with you..."

"Ana, please don't apologize. It's been a fucked up situation for all of us... maybe we can just have a fresh start."

"Sounds great... hi, I'm Ana." She smiles and I feel my heart starting to beat faster.

"Nice to meet you, Ana... I'm Christian. You have a lovely home."

"Thanks, a very special person bought it for me."

"Special?" I ask and can't help a shy smile.

"Yes, very special. And not just to me but to many other people too."

"Sounds like a great guy, if he gave you a house like this."

"Oh he gave me something way more special... our daughter." She says and this reminds me of something we haven't talked about so far.

"Tell me how you found out about Chrissie. Did you go to see Dr. Greene or did you suspect that you are pregnant?"

"One of the best days of my life." She muses...

_**Flashback - 7 weeks after the Charlie Tango Crash -**_

_I wake up slowly from a deep dreamless sleep and try to keep my eyes screwed shut. The pillow still faintly has Christian's unique scent and I am afraid that soon it will completely fade away... gone, just like the love of my life. _

_I wish I could just sleep all day... I'm so exhausted and feel like there is nothing left to keep me going. But I have to get up... I can't stay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself or angry at the world and just everything for taking Christian away from me. _

_As I move to sit up, I feel the nausea again. I had no idea the grief could make a person physically sick, but I haven't been able to keep most of what I am eating down for weeks now. Christian would be so mad at me if he would see how much weight I have lost in the last seven weeks._

_Finally, I manage to get up and drag my sorry ass into the bathroom. I'm just about to brush my teeth when I have to throw up and because there is nothing in my stomach it soon turns into terrible dry heaves which make my entire body ache. When it's finally over I curl up to a ball on the floor and just lay there. _

_"Ana? Oh dear, have you been sick again?" I hear Gail's voice and nod weakly. _

_"I'll make you some tea, do you want me to help you up?"_

_"No... I... I know this sounds weird, but can I have mac and cheese for breakfast, I could murder for a bowl of it right now." I mumble and Gail frowns, but finally nods and leaves the bathroom. _

_I get up and brush my teeth, but my tooth paste is empty, so I grab my toiletry bag to check if there is some in there, but instead something else catches my attention. I take the tampon out and stare at it for a second. I haven't had my period since I was in Georgia... but then again I had the shot._

_Ignoring the thought that comes to my mind, I brush my teeth, get dressed and walk into the kitchen to devour my mac and cheese. Later in the morning, after throwing up my breakfast I find myself in the kitchen because I am craving cheese strings with chocolate syrup... what if... no it can't be or can it?_

_I quickly grab my laptop and type nausea, exhaustion and food cravings into a search engine. Sure enough, all the results show the same thing... early symptoms of pregnancy. _

_Can it be true? Is this really happening? I touch my belly and for a moment I smile, allowing myself to imagine that there is a tiny part of Christian growing inside of me._

_"Gail!" I call out and she enters the great room._

_"What can I do for you, Ana?" _

_"I... I need something from the drugstore... a pregnancy test kit... no better three just to be sure."_

_"My goodness, are you... I mean do you think?"_

_"I'm not sure, but it would explain a lot."_

_"I'll get them right away... I'll be back as fast as I can." Gail says with tears in her eyes and I want to call Christian's family, but then decide against it. If this is false alarm it would just add to the heartbreak they are going through. _

_Thirty minutes later, I am in the kitchen with Gail, Jason and Luke and we are all staring at the alarm, which is set on Jason's phone. When it finally rings I grab Gail's hand and nod at Jason to look, I'm just to afraid to look myself._

_"It's negative, isn't it." I whisper without looking at Jason._

_"No, congratulations Ana, you are going to be a mother." He says and I look up at him, next to me Gail is full on sobbing, Jason has tears in his eyes and even Luke seems to be emotional in this moment. _

_"I... I... are you sure?" I gasp and clasp my belly. _

_"Here, look, they are all positive, Ana. See, he isn't gone after all." Jason says and I hug all three of them in an awkward group hug. _

_In the evening I have invited Christian's parents, Mia and Elliot along with Kate for dinner. I've been to Dr. Greene earlier and with the help of Gail I have put the sonogram pictures into little gift boxes, which are wrapped with pink and blue gift wrap, because it's too early to tell if I am having a girl or a boy and I even have a video for them so they can see listen to the heartbeat of my little blip. _

_I wait until we all have eaten and get the little gift boxes from the kitchen. _

_"I have a little something for all of you... it's something special that I want to share with all of you." I explain and already have to fight my tears. I watch them open the gift boxes and five pairs of eyes shoot up to me as soon as they read the words 'Baby Grey' on top of the sonogram picture. _

_"Ana is this... are you... Christian's baby?" Grace stutters close to tears._

_"Yes, I found out today and I wanted all of you to be the first to know."_

_And as soon as these words have left my mouth we are all hugging and crying, but for the first time in seven weeks it's happy tears..._

_**-End of Flashback-**_

_**Christian**_

"You've told my family first, before your parents?"

"Yes, for my parents it was good news, their first grandchild and all of that, but to your family knowing that I'm carrying your child, it was so much more, it was the knowledge that there is still a part of you that will live on."

"I wish I could have been there. I've missed out on so much time with our daughter, you, my family..." I stop, I don't want to fuck this evening up by getting back on that topic.

"You didn't leave by choices, Christian and I have something for you, I'll show you later, after dinner."

"A present?" I ask smiling and Ana nods answering my smile.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"You can ask me whatever you want, Christian."

"Why did you tell my parents about, Elena?" I ask and her face falls. _Fuck, I should have kept my mouth shut. _

"After you... you know, it was the hardest time of my life and I tried to ignore her even though it made my skin crawl when she showed up at the funeral and acted like a good friend to Grace, I kept my mouth should. I felt like betraying you if I was to say something. A week after I found out that I was pregnant, Grace called me to ask if I could come to Bellevue. She was there with Elena and they were talking about doing something in memory of you, like naming a park or wing of the hospital after you..." She shrugs, takes a long sip of her wine and her entire body language is telling me that she is either embarrassed or worried continue, but then she squares her shoulders and continues.

"During the conversation Grace let it slip that I am pregnant with your child and Elena touched my belly... that's when I lost it." She all but whispers the last part and stares at her knotted fingers.

"You lost it?"

"I ... punched her in the face... and she lost two teeth. I told her that I would kill her if she would ever dare to come anywhere near my baby, because she is nothing but a sick child molester. Elena ran from the house immediately and... well I had to tell Grace. She had no idea why I acted the way I did and I wasn't going to allow that vile woman anywhere near our child... Anyway, when Carrick came home that evening I told him everything I had told Grace before and he was so angry, we were worried he would murder her in cold blood when he left the house. That's when he found her in her house abusing a boy who had barely entered his teenage years. I know you always saw her as a friend, Christian, but even the thought of her being around our child, it put my in panic mode. I had to do what was right."

"You don't have to defend yourself, Ana. You've done the right thing. I can see now that you were right with everything you've said about Elena. I guess it's just something I have to accept you know... that the women in my life like to use and betray me." I murmur and immediately regret it, because that came out all wrong, but Ana surprises me when she reaches over and takes my hand in hers.

"Not all the women in your life. Grace, Mia, our daughter they would never do something to hurt you on purpose and I wouldn't do that either."

"But I'm still in the doghouse?" I ask to lighten the mood and Ana giggles.

"Yup, but it's a nice doghouse, other guys end up on the sofa or worse in the garage."

"Why are you so angry with me, Ana?" I ask and she sighs.

"I'm not angry... well maybe I am, but mostly I am just hurt. Hurt over the things you did and said... even things I can't blame you for because you couldn't remember... and now I'm so afraid to be hurt again that it has become nearly impossible for me to let you in... and it's not just you... it's my mother and even Kate... why didn't you trust me?" She sobs, I get up and kneel next her.

I want to tell her that I was trying to protect her, but stop before the words are out of my mouth, I have said that too many times to count and she never reacted well to it.

"I'm sorry, Ana... I know it's not enough, but I am truly sorry. You are right, I should have trusted you, all I can say in my defense is that I didn't do what I have done to hurt you. Please, don't cry, baby. All that shit is in our past now, we are free and can be happy, you just have to let me in and I promise you, I will never hurt you again."

"Baby steps?" She asks hopeful and I nod.

"Yes, we'll take things slow. Now, where is that famous lasagna you've told me about earlier?"

"Shit, the food!" Ana gasps and jumps up to run into the house. I follow her and find her cussing at the oven.

"Well, that lasagna looks as though it is thoroughly cooked." I chuckle.

"Hey, do not laugh at me, this is a disaster. I mean, I wanted this evening to be perfect and now..."

"It's okay, relax. We'll just order something."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, how about pizza?"

"Okay, there are menus in the drawer over there, I'll be right back." I watch Ana disappear and quickly walk to the security office.

"Hey Jason, do you have a moment?"

"Yes Sir."

"It's Christian... anyway, do you happen to have the phone number of Ana's mom."

"Of course, why?"

"I want you to call her. Ana misses her mom, but she is too afraid to call her. Just call Carla and tell her that if she would just come to Seattle and stop by at Ana's place, she would be welcomed with open arms by her daughter." I tell him but he frowns.

"Look, Ana shut her mom out, because she wanted her to move on with her life, which to Ana equaled forgetting about me. Now that I am back, there really isn't any reason for her not to reunite with her mother other than that Ana is too afraid to be rejected by her mother to contact her herself."

"Fine, I'll call Mrs. Adams." He says and I quickly return to the kitchen.

"Have you picked a menu?" Ana asks when she returns.

"Yes, can I have my present while we wait for the pizza?" I ask and hand it to her.

"Okay." She orders for us and we walk into the TV room, where she hands me a DVD.

"A movie?"

"I've asked Barney to make this for you. It's lots of pictures and parts of home movies from the past four years. We can watch it now or you can watch it later... whatever you want."

"Now, please."

"Okay, I'll just get us something to drink. Is wine okay with you?"

"Actually, I would like a beer."

"A beer it is, I even have your favorite." She says with a big smile and five minutes later we are cuddled up under a blanket while my gaze is fixed on the screen where pictures and videos of Ana, Chrissie and the rest of my family are giving me a glimpse of the past four years. A couple of times, I have to fight back tears, thinking that I have missed all of that, but at the same time this gift is typical for Ana. She always makes the most thoughtful gifts and this is one of the most precious gifts I have ever received.

After nearly an hour the DVD stops and I find that Ana is watching me.

"Have you been watching me the entire time, Miss Steele?" I ask slightly amused.

"I have lived through everything you just saw, but I wanted to have the memory of you when you saw all of it for the first time." She says and gently strokes my cheek while our eyes are still fixed on each other. _Fuck it, it's now or never, Grey!_

Before I can over think it, I lean down and kiss her. Starting out real slow, I give her the time to say no, but to my great relief she doesn't. My dick stands to attention immediately, but I know I can't go there. It's too soon and I can't fuck things up with Ana again. If I want her back, then I have to go her pace. _Shit I need to stop this now. _

"No don't stop." Ana protests and I smile indulgently at her.

"Baby, I would kiss you all night long, but I'm not a saint. Right now, I want nothing more than to rip your clothes off, kiss every inch of your delectable body and lose myself inside you, but I know it's too soon."

"I'm sorry, but you are right it's too soon. I'm not ready and I don't want to risk that I might shut you out again, because it scares me that we are moving too fast in our relationship."

"I won't let that happen, Ana. I promise you."

"Good, so do you want to eat the pizza now?"

"Are you hungry?"

"No, actually not."

"Me neither... how about we watch the DVD again?"

Ana agree and so we watch the DVD again and somewhere half way through, we both fall asleep..._I know I don't have much to relate it to, but I am sure that this was the best date of my life..._


	18. Chapter 18

_**Ana**_

I wake up because I am too warm. Christian is wrapped around me like ivy and though I'm too warm, I don't want to move. For the first time in years, I feel safe and content. I move a little so I can look at his face and it still amazes me how young and carefree he looks in his sleep.

Ethan was right, I have to start letting people in. Yesterday evening was amazing and for the first time in a long while, I've felt like myself again. I know one nice evening together won't be a magic cure to our relationship, but I'd like to think that we are on the right path now, because I don't want to spend my future alone or with anyone other than Christian in it.

I keep watching him until he starts to blink and finally opens his eyes to look at me with a tired smile.

"Hey you, have you been watching me?"

"Yes, I like to watch you sleep."

"Ditto. So, do I have to go back to the doghouse right away?"

"Yes, to take a shower and get ready for breakfast. After that, I want to drive to Bellevue and pick Chrissie up; you can join me if you want to. Maybe we can take her to a park or something like that."

"That sounds great... but do you think that's safe, with all the threats you receive towards Chrissie?" He asks and my face falls.

"We have security and...Well there haven't been as many threats as before ever since Miss Morgan and Kelsey have been arrested."

I feel Christian tense and sitting up he starts to curse. "Christian please, it's over they'll get what they deserve."

"It's not fucking enough, Ana. They've stolen four years of my life, of our life together and now I have to find out that I was living with a woman who most likely sent death threats to my daughter and I just don't get why... it's driving me fucking insane!" He says and I wrap my arms around him.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I think you should go to Alabama and talk to Kelsey. You deserve answers and to get closure on the last four years of your life."

"No!"

"Don't be like that. I know you, Christian. Deep down you know it's what you need, I just don't understand why you are denying yourself to get the closure you need."

For the longest time we just look at each other and just when I think that he isn't going to say something at all, he speaks up.

"I don't want you to think that she means something to me, Ana. I don't need closure if it means that me going to see her is tearing us further apart." He says and with a sigh, I rest my forehead against his.

"What if I go with you to Alabama? It's close to Georgia and I could visit my Mom. We could take Chrissie with us... make it our first tiny vacation as a family." I offer and he smiles.

"How about we go to Alabama, then visit your mother and then spend the weekend at the Outer banks, I always wanted to go there, but it seemed pointless to go alone."

"Sounds like a great plan, we can rent a beach house and just relax before the media frenzy starts once the FBI announces that you are alive."

"Don't remind me, fuck, they're going to have a field day." He sighs.

"I know, I was thinking about asking Sam from PR and Andrea to come over today. They need to know before the FBI makes the announcement. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes, it's a good idea. Call them and we can talk to them together. I'll go take a shower and change." He says and we both get up, but there is something I need him to see.

"Wait." I asked as I walk to the build in shelves and take a DVD that I haven't touched in four years.

"You've said all the women in your life tend to betray you... I want you to watch this, because you deserve to know that there are women in your life who love you unconditionally." I explain and hand him the DVD.

"What is on it?"

"The eulogy... you don't have to watch it if you don't want to, but I do believe it would help you to understand what you really mean to all of us."

Hesitantly he takes it and seems tense all of a sudden. "I think about it, I'll have a quick shower before breakfast." He says and turns to leave, but I call him back again and get on my tiptoes to plant a soft kiss to his lips.

"Breakfast will be ready in thirty minutes, don't be late."

"I want especially if there is more kissing involved." He smirks and I can't help but grin back at him.

"Maybe."

"I'll be quick." He kisses me again and leaves, so I hurry upstairs to take a quick shower and dress in a yellow summer dress and flip flops before I call Andrea and Sam to ask them to be here around two pm, Chrissie will be taking a nap around that time, so we'll have time to talk.

After that, I make my way into the kitchen and start to make some fruit salad and omelet for breakfast.

"Smells delicious, do you have bacon too?" I hear Christian behind after a while and point to the plate next to me.

"Yup, coming right up. I've called Andrea and Sam, they'll be here around 2 pm. Oh and have you heard from Elliot, I have tried to call him at least fifteen times last week, but he never returned my calls."

"I've talked to him yesterday, it was a short call though, I'm sure he was balls deep inside your former best friend while we were talking."

"Eww! Gross, I don't want to know that! Oh man, now you've put a horrible picture in my head that I will never get out." I whine and Christian laughs.

"You've asked." He shrugs and I give him a dirty look. "I've asked you if you have talked to your brother not if he was pounding the meat to Kate while you were talking to him."

"Miss Steele, I am shocked. I never knew you had such a dirty mouth." He chuckles and I poke my tongue at him.

"Well, I have spent too much time in the presence of your brother and the security guys are right there with him. I'd say it was their bad influence... oh but one more thing. Once word is out that you are alive Taylor will be your CPO again." I tell him and he frowns.

"But you need security too."

"Yes, but I have Luke. He is Chrissie's CPO, but usually were she goes I go and on the rare occasions where we are not together I have Ryan and Reynolds. I just thought it would be easier for you to have someone you already know well as security and Jason was rather happy when I asked him... you know following me to go clothes shopping or spending endless hours at the beauty salon is not really his style."

"I guess... but if you want to keep Taylor as your CPO then it's fine with me."

"No, it's okay... and I thought once Andrea knows we can drive over to Grey House later tonight and I'll give you a tour, there have been a lot of changes since ... well you know." I whisper the last few words not wanting to think about the last four years again.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here, baby and I'm not going anywhere. Now let's sit down and you can tell me all about the changes you've made while we are having breakfast." He says gently and together we get everything on the wooden kitchen table and start to eat.

"Do you remember the huge empty space on the fourth floor?"

"Sure, I really didn't have any idea what to do with it. What's in there now?"

"A day care center." I tell him and he looks at me in surprise.

"I needed a place close by to leave Chrissie while I was working, especially in the first ten months while I was breast feeding. In addition it is crazy how new mommies and pregnant women just pop up everywhere once you are pregnant yourself. They were literally everywhere at GEH and many off them had no one to look after their children or had to take an extended maternity leave even though they wanted to work, so we opened our own day care at GEH. It made returning to work so much easier for new mommies and of course, we didn't have to look for interim employees as much as before, it was a win win situation for everyone. Chrissie still goes to the day care whenever Mia or Grace don't have time on the days I am working from the office."

"Damn, I should have come up with that idea years ago." He mutters and I giggle.

"I suppose pregnancy and babies weren't things you had on your mind a lot back then."

"True, what else has changed?"

"We had to install metal detectors at the entrance." I tell him rather uncomfortably.

"Why?"

"About two years ago, we've took over a huge IT company in Chicago. The owner wasn't willing to sell, but he was running his company into the ground, so it turned into a hostile takeover and when he came to Grey House for his last change to sell the company peaceful he pulled a gun at me."

Christian pales and drops his fork back on his plate. "He did what?"

"He pulled a gun at me, Taylor had to shoot him in the knee and since then we have increased the security measures at GEH significantly. The guy is still in prison for another two to three years."

"Jesus... but he hasn't hurt you, right?"

"No, I even managed to talk to the police and deal with everything that day... once it was time to leave though and everything replayed in my head I passed out in the elevator." I confess a little embarrassed.

"Well, I guess that's a healthy reaction after nearly being shot... but security is tight now at GEH?"

"Yes, every potential weapon has to be left at the welcome desk and is returned once a visitor leaves; the employees have a list of things which are forbidden at the office. Almost everyone was very understanding and the few people who think I'm insane can kiss my ass... after all I just want to do my job and not die for it. Oh and we have our own social media department now."

"What for?"

"Really Christian? GEH is in the telecommunications business... after the solar powered mobile phone you've worked on hit the market we all thought it was time to get more involved in the social media department. You know apps, a proper facebook and twitter appearance. It also opened the door to work with more charities, right now we are in talks with a company who has started a web doctor app."

"Web doctor?"

"It's mainly for people without insurance. They can download the app for two bucks a month and face time with medical professionals 24/7. It doesn't replace going to a real doctor, but it definitely helps people who are used to self medicate themselves. They can ask a doctor first about their symptoms it also has an emergency button, if they push the button they don't need to call 911 because their phone will be tract and help is on the way immediately. It's great for the elderly, young children or women who are out alone at night. I use my twitter to spread the word a lot."

"You have a twitter?"

"Yeah, but I don't really use it for anything but charity... I have a lot of young girls following me who think I'm some kind of fashion queen." I shrug and Christian laughs.

"Maybe you should post a picture of the outfit you've worn the day we met."

"Hey! I just didn't care about clothes back then and I only care about it now, because the media was constantly making fun of my clothing choices. Mia and Caroline Acton have helped me out a lot in the beginning, but I have finally figured it out myself now."

"I'm sorry." He says and now it's my turn to frown, because I have no clue why he is apologizing.

"Sorry for what?"

"That I have dragged you into the public eyes without leaving you a choice." He says and I reach over to take his hand in mine.

"Christian, I always had a choice. I could have just sold GEH right away. After Kate outed me as your heiress and mother of your unborn child, I again could have sold everything and just move away from the states to offer Chrissie a life in piece and quiet. I could have just hired people to do all the work for me, but I made the choice to step in as President of GEH, it was my choice to go to fundraisers and give public speeches. You didn't force me into doing something I didn't want to do. If anything by leaving everything to me, you left me with a well of choices to live my life the way I wanted to live it. The life I have now and the life I am able to offer to our daughter... I owe it all to you, Christian. You don't have to apologize, I have to thank you."

"I didn't see it like that." He murmurs and I smile at him.

"Then it's time that you start seeing it like that, because it is just like that. Sure there is a flipside to everything, but starting yesterday I have decided to just see the positive and I truly have a lot to be thankful for."

"Sounds like a really good plan, I think I'll try that too."

After breakfast, we had out to the garages and Christian nearly keels over when he sees Wanda in between all of the new shiny cars in the garage.

"Please tell me you didn't buy that death trap back." He mutters and I shrug.

"I did, but I'm not driving her anymore."

"Her?"

"Yes, her name is Wanda. After my Dad passed, I just needed to hold on to as many memories I had of him. When I came home from the hospital, she was standing at the garage of Escala. Taylor had bought her back for me; he knew my Dad gave me the car and that it meant a lot to me. I had to promise him not to drive her though. Sometimes I just sit in her and remember how my Dad gave me the car. If I feel like driving a Beetle I take Wanda the Second." I explain and point to my sea blue VW new Beetle convertible.

"Well, that one looks much safer, let me guess Wanda the second?" He smirks.

"Yup, your parents gave her to me as a Christmas present two years ago. So Mister _I-Only-Drive-Audis _want to take a ride in a VW?"

"Sure let's go and pick our little princess up."

At Bellevue Grace, who is delighted to see us arrive together, greets us and as soon as she hears our voices, Chrissie comes shooting down the hallway and jumps straight into Christian's arms, telling him all about her morning.

"She is already such a daddy's girl; it's a joy to watch." I muse and watch Grace wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Sometimes I still have to pinch myself, but he is really here... darling, I have to ask, I saw you arrive together, have you talked to Christian?"

"Yes, we had dinner together last night and talked a lot, I'm sure we are not going to elope tomorrow, but I'd like to think that we are on the right path now. We are going to Alabama next week."

"What?" Grace gasps.

"He deserves closure, Grace. I don't think Christian will be able to close this chapter of his life without having one last conversation with Kelsey. She lied to him, has drugged him and played the part of a loving wife, all the while she was betraying the trust he had in her and her family. He needs this... and once he went to see her we'll go to Georgia to visit my mother and then spent the weekend at the Outer Banks."

"You want to visit your mother?"

"Yes, I just can't pretend she doesn't exist anymore, I need to find out if I can fix our relationship and Chrissie deserves to know her other grandmother too."

"You are right and I know that Carla will be so happy to see you. It's time for all of us to put the past behind us and look forward to a much happier future."

"Mommy! Grammy made me pancakes and fruit and cream and chocolate sauce for breakfast sooo sooo much cream and chocolate sauce." She shows me with her hands and jumps in my arms.

"Well, that's great, did you enjoy your sleepover."

"Uh-huh... we had pizza for dinner and fries with lots and lots of ketchup and mayo." She says and I glance at Grace who is smiling at me in that way that tells me that as a grandma she can spoil her only grandchild with anything Chrissie is asking for.

"Well, it's a good thing your Grammy made you all of your favorites, because today we are having Brussels sprouts, kale and chicken liver for dinner." I tell Chrissie and her face goes from childish delight to utter shock.

"But mommy that's all yucky." She whines and I giggle.

"It's not yucky it's healthy...and you know what?"

"What?" She asks wary.

"Gotcha!" I laugh and blow a raspberry on her neck, which earns me full on belly laughter from my adorable little angel.

"So, what do you want to do until lunch, sweetheart?"

"Can we play outside? Please? Pleaaassseeee?"

"Sure."

"Chrissie, darling, why don't you go out to Grampy, Grammy has to talk to mommy and daddy for a moment."

"Okay, down mommy." She says and she takes off the second her little feet touch the ground.

"Is everything alright, Mom?" Christian asks as soon as Chrissie is out of earshot.

"Well, I'm not sure. I haven't heard much from your brother all week and today he called me and invited your father and me for a family dinner tomorrow. He seemed tense and I just know that something is up, has either of you heard anything from him." She asks and Christian and I both looked wide-eyed at each other.

"Alright, so you both know what is going on, now tell me." Grace demands.

"It's really nothing, mom... well nothing bad anyway, just wait until tomorrow... is Dad outside? I need to talk to him." Christian mutters and takes off in the direction Chrissie took just a minute ago..._traitor!_

"So, are you going to tell me what is going on, Ana?" Grace asks and I cringe.

"Look Grace, it's nothing bad... just keep an open mind and umm... did I just hear Chrissie call me..." I try to walk away but Grace stops me.

"Oh no you don't, Anastasia Rose. Come back and talk to me." Grace demands..._crap she isn't even my mother but calling me with both first and middle name still works..._

"Grace please, don't make me tell you, Elliot will be so mad at me."

"Ana, please he is my son; I need to know if he is in trouble."

"He is not in trouble, Grace... it's Kate. She is back in town and I think they are back together."

"What? How on earth can he invite this terrible woman back into our lives? After all she has done and..."

"Grace, please... look, why don't we go to the kitchen and I make some tea, there is something you don't know and maybe after hearing me out, you are willing to give Kate a second chance." We walk into the kitchen and I make some tea, but decide that I leave the information that Kate and Elliot have a son out of it for now. That's something they need to tell Grace and Carrick, but maybe I can help to make things a little smoother between Kate and the Grey's.

Therefore, I tell her everything that Kate has told me and I can tell that Grace is still very skeptical, but I know her well enough to know that she will keep an open mind for Elliot's sake. In addition, I had Taylor run a background check on Kate and it came back without any red flags. In fact, I am rather impressed with the way she has lived her life in the past three and half years.

Outside I find Carrick snapping pictures of Christian and Chrissie playing in the backyard and that gives me an idea.

"Carrick, can you take a picture of Christian, Chrissie and me, we don't have a family picture yet."

"Of course Ana." He says happy to be the first one to snap a picture of the three of us and in the end it turns into a photo session and we have at least fifty pictures of us with Chrissie.

When we are back in the car after Grace invited us to stay for lunch Chrissie is already fast asleep in her car seat, completely wiped out from all the playing.

"Mia just texted me, she is throwing a party the weekend after next, are you going, Ana?"

"I don't think she is going to invite me." I reply and he frowns.

"Why, I thought you are close with her."

"We are, but I guess there are only so many times a person can say no to party or clubbing invitations before the other person stops to asks."

"You never went clubbing with her?"

"No... At first, I didn't want to leave Chrissie alone and later... I don't know, I guess I was afraid that she would try to hook me up with one of her male friends."

"You know that I wouldn't want you to stay alone." He says and I raise a brow at him.

"Well, the relational part of me wouldn't want that for you." He admits and I smile.

"Look, eventually I would have started to put myself out there, but there really wasn't any rush and I was also afraid that men would only want to date me because of the money or worse because of Chrissie."

"Chrissie?" He frowns.

"There are so many perverts out there, pedophiles who marry single mothers just to get there hands on the children...it just scared me and then there is the fact that to me no could come even close to you."

"No one?" He asks with a shy smile.

"No one. You are it for me, Christian. I guess that's why I never even bothered to look for someone."

"But you have needs." He points out and that makes me giggle.

"I did not just inherit your company and fortune, but also a room full of toys." I reply with a wink and he smirks.

"Maybe I have to watch some time."

"Maybe." I murmur and curse myself for blushing like a schoolgirl at the thought of him watching me pleasure myself.

"I love that blush." I hear him muse and now it's my turn to give him a shy smile.

We arrive back home just in time for him to carry Chrissie to her room, while Taylor announces and Sam and Andrea are on their way up to the house. We've agreed that I would talk to them first, so they would run from the house screaming when they see their _dead _boss.

Once inside Gail brings some refreshments into my study and I start.

"Thank you for coming here on such short notice and on a Sunday of all days... I've asked you to come here because there are going to be some major changes at GEH and the media is going to be all over it."

"What kind of changes, Miss Steele?" Sam asks.

"A new owner, who is also going to take his rightful place as CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings INC. I will be there for the first month or so, to help him get familiar with all the deals we are working on, but after that I will officially be no longer working for GEH."

"What... but... Ana... I mean Miss Steele, you can't sell GEH. Mr. Grey gave it to you; it's for your daughter... I just don't understand." Andrea stammers.

"Don't worry, I'm not selling GEH. I'm just giving it back to his rightful owner. You see Andrea a couple of weeks ago something happened I never thought was possible. Christian is alive." I say and both Sam and Andrea gape at me open-mouthed.

"Christian... as in Christian Grey... as in..."

"Me." I hear Christian's voice behind me and Andrea screams in shock.

"I'm sorry, Andrea. I hope I didn't scare you too much." He says.

"Oh no biggie, I just saw my dead boss walk into the room and pissed my pants." She mutters deadpan and I can't help but laugh.

"Well, in that case I am sure that Anastasia has a change of clothes for you." Christian replies with a grin.

"I... I didn't really... oh my God... you are really alive, how?"

"It's a long and rather unpleasant story. What's important is that the FBI will give a statement in 8 days from now, so both of you have to prepare for the media frenzy that is going to follow. I will give a brief statement to the media the day after the FBI releases the statement. I want both of you not to confirm or deny any rumors that will surely follow. We'll handle all of this as it comes. The only thing that the media needs to know is that I am back and that I will take my place at GEH again. I'll ask the FBI to send the statement they will give to Sam and you upfront, so you'll know exactly what is going on and can have statements for the press ready."

"O-okay... but what about request for interviews?"

"No interviews, Sam. I'm still trying to find my way back into my old life; I don't need nosy reporters to ask me tons of inappropriate questions. They'll get a short statement and that's it."

"What about you, Miss Steele?"

"What about me? I'm happy to devote my time to Christian and our daughter. If the media request interviews with me, I am not available for any. This is Christian's story to tell not mine."

"But you are just giving everything away?" Sam asks confused.

"Well, Christian is alive, so it all belongs to him, Sam. The business world was never something I wanted to get into, now that Christian can take care of his company, I'm happy to step back and just enjoy life as stay at home for a while. And if the media asks, you can tell them just that."

A while later, after I have asked Andrea to make arrangements for the trip to the South Christian and I want to do next week, Sam and Andrea leave and I prepare a snack for Christian and myself.

"Have you ever thought about siblings for Chrissie?" Christian asks me out of the blue.

"After I had Chrissie I always thought I would never have another child."

"Why?"

"Because you weren't there... I never wanted my children to have different fathers."

"And now?" He asks cautiously.

"I'd love to have a little boy one day or really just another baby. It's amazing to watch them grow into little people with own personalities and so much imagination and enthusiasm for just about everything. But for now we need to figure us out, Christian. Once we've done that I'll happily agree to try for another baby."

"Okay, I can live with that, because I want at least six kids." He says and I nearly choke on my water.

"Six kids? Okay Grey, you better invest your money into modern sciences, because if you want six kids, you'll give birth to at least half of them." I mutter and Christian's laughs loudly.

"I'll keep that in mind. Or I knock you up first with twins and then with triplets."

"Triplets? Are you insane? No... One at the time and we'll negotiate after number three or four."

"Deal!" He says and holds his hand out to me. We shake and both gasp at the pull of electricity between us.

"Can we consider today as our second date... you know, if we do we could have our third date tomorrow." He grins and I shake my head.

"Nope, we can't, besides we have to attend the dinner from hell at Elliot's tomorrow evening. After that we can talk about another date."

"Fine, thought I'd ask." He pouts and I smile.

"You are adorable when you pout, Mr. Grey."

"And you make me want to fuck your brains out even more whenever you chew on your lip, Miss Steele." He growls and I release my lip from my teeth.

"Spoken like a born romantic, Mr. Grey." I giggle.

In the evening after we've put Chrissie to bed, Christian and I are having a glass of wine on the patio, but he seems to be miles away in thoughts.

"What are you thinking about, Christian?"

"I'm heading over to the guesthouse now, I think it's time for me to watch the eulogy."

"Okay, do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I think it's something I need to do alone."

"Good, just... after you've watched it and you want to talk, you can come over at any time or if you can't sleep, just come over you can wake me up and just get into my bed whenever you want."

"I like that offer very much, Miss Steele." He smirks.

"To sleep, Mr. Grey." I giggle.

"Still a very tempting offer. So, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, tomorrow. I'll walk you to the door." I get up and walk with him to the front door, where we both stop and he cups my face in his hands.

"I had a great day, thank you Ana."

"You are very welcome." I whisper when he leans down to kiss me.

"I love you, Ana." He whispers and is out of the door before I have the chance to reply.

"And I love you, Christian Grey... always." I whisper and lean against the closed door...

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_**A/N: Thank you all for your kind words and patience. The next few chapters are not pre-written, next will be Christian watching the eulogy, then the family dinner where everyone meets little Elliot, after that we'll have two to three chapters about the Alabama/Georgia/Outer Banks trip and then it continues with the media frenzy when it is revealed that Christian is alive... oh and there will be a lemon in one or more of the next four chapters...**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Hi ladies! First of all, I need to thank those of you who have nominated my stories for the fanatic fanfics awards. I have to admit, I wasn't even aware that there is something like that and I feel absolutely honored that A Different Life is nominated with so many amazing stories from this fandom. Another story of mine Broken is also nominated as best angst fanfiction. So, if you want to vote I've put the link in my bio page. Oh and while you are there to vote, please make sure to vote for Grey girl 1989 as best veteran author and one of her One Shots is also nominated, she is the only author of the FSOG fandom in this category and I would love to see her win :-)**_

_**As for this chapter, I had to rewrite it, because I didn't like it at first and changed the eulogy itself into flashbacks... I rarely give a tissue warning, but I needed a few while writing this chapter, so make sure to keep some close ;-)**_

_**Also I want to sent a big thank you to two of my readers who have taken the time to write a eulogy themselves when I mentioned that I was struggling to get it done. Thank you both so much, the eulogies you've written have truly been a great source of inspiration during the process of writing this chapter!**_

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_**Christian**_

_Don't be such a fucking coward, Grey! Just watch it already!_

For the last twenty minutes I have found myself sitting on the sofa in the guesthouse with my finger hovering over the play button on the remote control. I don't know what it is, but I'm scared to death, this is it, once I have watched this tape I will know, once and for all if I am truly loved or not... _okay here goes nothing. _

_**Flashback June 25th 2011 -Mia's POV-**_

_I want to wake up. If I close my eyes and open them again, I will be back in my room at home and not here. I can't be here, it's not right. I open my eyes again and sob. I'm still here, here at my brother's funeral service, staring at the casket in front of me which holds the remains of my brother. _

_I turn my head to look at my parents. They look old suddenly, as if they have aged years over the last eight days. Next to them is my grandfather. Nana is still in the hospital, she completely broke down when Christian died, the doctors insisted for her to stay longer as her heart is still giving her a lot of trouble. _

_"Mia?" I turn to see Elliot and he pulls me close. _

_"I don't know if I can do this, Elliot. I don't want to... after today he is really gone. I mean with making arrangements for the funeral and everything I could keep myself busy... but there is nothing to do tomorrow... I don't... I can't..." I sob and Elliot grabs me by the shoulders. _

_"Mia, look at me, you need to breathe. We'll get through this, together. Okay?" Elliot pleads and for the first time I can see that he has reached breaking point too. _

_"Okay, I can do this... it's okay." I whisper and step up to the podium. I've asked my parents if I could be the one to speak first. I was too afraid that by the time my parents had spoken I wouldn't be able to utter a single word, so now I am the first to speak. I look at the many people in here and fight the urge to frown. I didn't want to fight my mother over the guest list, but I'm not even sure if Christian knew all of this people..._

_I reach into the pocket of my black dress and look at the paper with my speech. I've rewritten it so many times... but in this moment I know it's not what I want to say... _

_"I was blessed right from the first day of my life, because I was adopted by the most amazing parents in this world. By adopting me, they have not just given me their name and a home, but also the two most amazing older brother's. My brother Christian and I always had a special bond. He didn't have an easy start in life and he didn't speak until the day my parents brought me home. His first word was Mia..." I have to stop and hold on to the podium ... I can do this, for Christian._

_"Christian was the best older brother a girl could wish for... of course, sometimes, especially as teenager, I was mad at him, because he would scare my boyfriends off, but I only realize now that he did it, because he wanted to protect me. I remember a camping trip when I was about five years old, Christian and I were playing by a river. I tripped and nearly feel into the river, Christian pushed me so I wouldn't fall in and by doing so he fell into river himself. He nearly drowned that day, but the second my Dad got him out all he did was to apologize, because I had scratched my leg when he pushed my in the other direction. That's who Christian was... he always wanted to protect the people he loves and he didn't care if he got hurt in the process..."_

_I look at my parents and seeing them cry makes it even harder for me to continue._

_"There was a time where we weren't as close as we were as kids, but I understood, Christian had this deep seeded need to prove himself to the world... and he did, beyond anything any of could have ever imagined. But that is just who Christian was... he could have achieved anything he put his mind to. Failure just wasn't an option for him... still we all knew that there was something missing in his life and it just isn't right that his life had to end just when he had found what was missing in his life."_

_I look over to Ana who is sitting between her father and Elliot. She looks so fragile, utterly pale and with silent tears running down her cheeks. _

_"Christian had found the love of his life, we all knew that she is the one for him the moment we first saw them together. My brother didn't allow many people into his life, but he did when he met Ana. When I first saw them together, I saw how happy he was, just because she was sitting next to him and I could see the love she has for him every time she looked at him. I wanted them to have a long and happy life together... that's what my brother deserved... a long and happy life... it's not fair that his life has been cut so short... but he died the way he lived, trying to keep someone safe that meant a lot to him. He did everything within his power to land the helicopter safely. Then he made sure that Miss Bailey was safe and when the helicopter exploded Ros was safe and my brother held onto life until they were found... the doctors told us it was a miracle that was still alive by the time he arrived at the hospital... but I knew it wasn't. He held onto life for us... for his family and Ana... so we would have the change to say goodbye... I will forever be thankful that I got to say goodbye... I just wish that we had more time... there is still so much I wanted to tell my brother... so many memories to be made... but I know that he will never leave us. I'm not religious, but I know if there is way to still watch over us and protect us from the after life, it's what Christian will do, he'll be our guardian angel until the day we'll all be together again... I love you, Christian... this is not goodbye, it's just until we'll meet again..."_

_With that I step back place a white rose on the casket and walk over to my parents. My father embraces me in his arms and I cry against his chest, while my mother steps up to the podium._

_**End of Flashback**_

_**Christian**_

I have to stop the DVD and take a couple of deep breaths. Seeing Mia like this... so sad and crying all the while trying to be strong... fuck, I need to call her.

"Christian, hey. Is something up? It's almost ten in the evening, Patrick and I are already in bed." She says and I cringe at the thought of her in bed with some fucker.

"No, everything is fine, Mimi." I murmur.

"Oh my gosh, you haven't called me Mimi since I was six or seven." She giggles.

"I... I've watched part of the eulogy. Your speech to be exact."

"Oh Christian, are you alright. I can come over if you want me to. We could have a sibling sleepover, I have everything here to make s'mores you know." She says and it makes me chuckle. When I was twelve and she was six, our parents allowed us to sleep in the backyard in the tent. I made a little fire and we had so many s'mores that night we both got really fucking sick.

"Sorry, I'll pass on that offer for tonight, Mimi. Just... you know that I love you, right?"

"Of course I do. You are my big brother and even when you are all grumpy you are still my favorite brother."

"Are you telling that Elliot too?"

"He knows... but he is happy with being the most funny brother in the world."

"Yeah, he wins that title fair and square... listen Mia, how about you come over for breakfast tomorrow, I'll cook."

"Hey! You just told me you love me and now you want to invite me to a free bout of food poisoning." Mia teases... "I'll be there, say around nine?"

"Perfect, I'll see you then, Mia. Oh and tell Patrick he can come too... but only if he keeps his hands off of you tonight."

"Too late for that, but we'll be there."

"Oh fuck, TMI, Mia... shit, why would you say that." I whine and Mia laughs.

"Because I can't lie to my favorite big brother... night ChrisChris." Mia says using the nickname she has given me so long ago.

"Night Mimi." I hang up and get up to get myself a glass of wine. For a moment I hesitate, knowing that watching the my mother's speech will be just as heartbreaking. So I call and invite my parents for breakfast too, before I press the play button again.

_**Flashback June 25th 2011 -Grace's POV-**_

_Oh Lord, I have never doubted any of your decisions. When I couldn't carry a child you have given me the three most amazing children... but how could you allow this to happen. My poor boy had his whole life ahead of him... he didn't deserve to leave this world the way he did..._

_I stop my thoughts... I can't think like that. I can't think of the way my son had to leave this world. I have asked the doctors at the hospital to tell my family that he didn't suffer, that due to the severity of his wounds he must have passed out within seconds... as a doctor I know better... it kills me to know how much my child has suffered... he had suffered enough before we adopted him... this is just not right. _

_I shouldn't be here mourning my son... oh Lord, why didn't you pick me... a child shouldn't die before his parents..._

_"Gracie... do you want to speak now?" I hear Carrick who is still holding Mia and get up. I look at my family all in the first row of benches and I try to be strong for them and really, I want to be strong for Christian. He would hate to see me a crying mess... he always hated it to see me cry._

_When I reach the podium my gaze drifts over all the people here... friends and family... and I am thankful to have their support on this day._

_"Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the memory of Christian. As you all know Carrick and I couldn't have biological children. I was desperate when a doctor told us this many years ago. However, I now know that it was a blessing, because we became the parents of three of the most amazing human beings in this world. When I first met Christian, he was hospitalized after a very traumatic event in his young life. From the moment I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was my child. I have treated so many little patients in my career, but this little boy was different. People told us not to bother... that taking in a traumatized child would ruin our family. It did just the opposite." _

_I stop for a moment and look at the pictures of Christian's close to the casket. I asked Ana to pick them, she needed something to do or she would have gone insane by now and looking at the pictures of my smiling son, she has done a great job, she picked the few pictures that carry the true essence of who my son was. _

_"I won't lie and say that it was always easy. Christian has always been a challenge, but he had so much to give in return. He was a protective brother of his siblings and caring son. Sometimes, when I came home after a hard day at work and Carrick was still working, Christian would make me a tea and just listen to me until I felt better. With his smile he could make everything go away. He had the most amazing smile and when he laughed... you couldn't help but laugh with him..."_

_"...As a parent, you prepare yourself for many things in life. The first day of school, the first boyfriend/girlfriend... and eventually when your children are grown up and go their own ways. I've once heard someone say that children are like guests. If you do a good job, they'll always come back to visit... my children always made time to come home... so I guess Carrick and I have done a good job... what I really want to say is that of all things you imagine to do when you decide have a child... of all the things you prepare yourself for, this is the one thing you can never be prepared for. Losing a child, it's just too painful a thought to even consider how you would feel or act. As a doctor, I was always proud that I could help my children when they scratches, cuts or even broke a bone... but I couldn't help my son this time... there was nothing I could do to help my child and I knew that I had to let him go..."_

_Taking a shuddering breath and looking at Carrick for support I continue. _

_"I want this day to be a celebration, because each and everyone of us has been blessed to know Christian. He has touched so many lives and used his influence to help the poor. I know that one day, when I will be no longer on this earth, I will see him again. Until then I want to make a promise to Christian, I will continue to support all of the charities that have been so close to his heart for him. His memory will live on in all of us. And I like to think, that every time he comes to our thoughts, it is because he is with us in spirit in that moment, just making sure that we are doing fine. Because of that, I want to ask all of you to smile when you think about him, smile as you would smile when a dear friend or family member comes to visit... because through our memories of him, it's the only way he can visit us and remain a part of our lives."_

_I turn to face the casket and place a white rose on it. "I love you, Christian. We'll see each other again, darling." I whisper and leave the podium before I burst into tears. _

_I listen to Carry, Elliot and my father talk about Christian and it is so moving, that I can't help but cry repeatedly, all the while wishing that this is just a bad dream and I'll wake up any moment and none of this has happened. God, please, I want my son back!_

_**Ana's POV**_

_I don't want to be here. It feels too final... but I guess that is what death is, it's final and leaves so many people devastated in its wake. Well, almost everyone... not the disgusting media, I think and anger rises inside of me with a force I haven't known before. Anger is good, any emotion that distracts me from the tremendous pain I am feeling is good. _

_Even now we can't mourn Christian in privacy, because Grace and Carrick had to make a deal with the media in order for them to go away. One reporter along with a photographer is allowed here, other than that they have to stay away from the cemetery or they won't get any pictures of the funeral. Christian would hate this, but Grace and Carrick knew it was the only way to insure that this day wouldn't end in a media disaster. _

_After listening to all of the Grey's talking about Christian, I know it is my turn, but I can barely get up. My Dad has to support me and Taylor is there too, making sure that I won't fall on my way to the podium. As I am up there I notice many people who start to whisper, as they have no idea who I am. _

_For the first time I allow myself to look at the direction of the casket and it is nearly my undoing. This is it, I can no longer tell myself that this is just a bad dream. I really have to say goodbye. _

_"Most of you probably have no idea who I am or why I am here. I'm Ana and I was lucky enough to meet Christian back in early May. In the short amount of time we've spent together I've gotten to know a man whom I can only describe as caring, loving and determined to change this world for the better. He didn't want media attention for all the good things he has done in his life. He just wanted to help people in need. He was an inspiration for everyone who was blessed to meet him. He was a inspiration for me and above that he was the first man I have ever fallen in love with. We've only known each other for a few weeks, but in this time we've made memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. Every moment I've spent with Christian was special and the only regret in my life will be, that I didn't get to spend more time with him."_

_I look through the crowd and spot Elena, who is glaring at me. How dare this woman even show up here? She abused him for years and now she is sitting there acting like a friend to Christian's family. _

_"The one thing Christian and I had in common is that neither of us felt worthy of being loved by the other. Me because I couldn't understand how an extraordinary person like Christian could love an ordinary girl like me and he felt undeserving of love, because he has been deprived of it in his formative years, but together we discovered that you can't fight love, you just have to hold onto it, because it makes you a better person and gives you a whole new outlook on life. My life has changed completely since I've met Christian and I like to think that I am a better person because of him. Because even though he couldn't see it himself, he was the most amazing person I have ever met." I stop to take a couple of shuttering breaths and Taylor steps toward to help me off the stage, but I shake my head. _

_"The media made it sound like Christian died, because he had to play with his expensive toys. They couldn't have been further away from the truth if they had tried. Christian was on his way back from WSU Vancouver where he had to talk to the Dean, because there was an issue with the Farming Division. Christian was a huge benefactor of WSU and he gave money to the farming division, because it helped the cause closes to his heart, which was feeding the worlds poorest. He wasn't even supposed to go to Vancouver that day, but when he heard that there was a problem with the farming division, he rearranged his entire schedule, just to fly down to Vancouver and make sure that everything would run smoothly."_

_I see some people who actually looked stunned and that just makes me want to prove to them what a good person Christian was. _

_"The press also took exception in the fact that Christian would invest too much in companies abroad and not in companies based in the US. That is just not true, but he could not sit by and watch a company in a poor country face bankruptcy which would have resulted in five thousand people losing their jobs. Of course an acquisition like that made the news, while the acquisition of an ailing publishing house right here in Seattle which saved about 80 jobs didn't make any news at all. What I have admired about him is that Christian didn't care. He didn't care what anyone else thought about him, except for the few people he allowed to see the real Christian Grey. The real Christian wasn't aloof or arrogant or anything else people have called him along the way. The real person behind the CEO was almost a little shy, afraid to be hurt and abandoned like he was in the first four years of his life again."_

_"Of course, he wasn't a perfect human being, he had his flaws just like anyone else, but he didn't deny them either, because he was always honest and he expected the same honesty in return. He had build many walls around him, but for the few people lucky enough to be let in by him, the simple truth is that you had no choice but to love him. Not for everything he has achieved or all the good he has done, but just because of the fact that Christian was an amazing person. Some might think that it is cruel to find the love of your life only for this person to die after such an short amount of time to spend together, but I consider myself as blessed. Because even in what little time we had together, we made enough memories to help me get through every day until eventually we'll meet again. Like Mia has said before, this is not goodbye... I refuse to believe that it is... it's just a see you later... or in Christian's words Laters Baby." As soon as these words have left my mouth I see Elliot and Mia smile through their tears and I step back to leave the podium, but I have no strength left and I am thankful that Taylor is there to help me to the casket where I place a red rose on top of the white ones._

_"Wait for me... I love you." I whisper and Taylor guides me back to my father. _

_**-End of Flashback-**_

_**Christian**_

For the first time in my life I am crying and I just can't stop... they love me... all of them, even with my fucked up past and all the shit I have put them through, my family and Ana truly love me. How did I never see that before? How could I ever doubt it? I don't even know what to do and before I realize it, I find myself outside and in front of the big house... shit it's too late, I can't wake Ana up, she needs her sleep... I turn around and start to pace.

Why was I too stupid to see the love that I always had, from my family? How could I ever doubt Ana's love for me?

"Christian?" I turn around startled when I hear Ana's voice. She is walking towards me dressed in a silk robe and clearly shivering from the cold evening breeze.

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up." I murmur and she silently embraces me in her arms.

"I never felt deserving of love, but I had all my life." I whisper and she cups my face in her soft hands.

"I know, you make it so easy to love you, you just don't see it yourself. But you are worthy of love, Christian. You just have to accept the fact that you are loved by your family, by Chrissie and me and even by Gail and Taylor."

"Why did I never see it?"

"Because of what happened to you as a small child... because of what Elena wanted you to believe... it doesn't matter anymore Christian. It's in the past and you'll have a future surrounded by all the people who love you ahead of you. That's all that matters. Come let's go to bed it's late." She says, leads me inside the house and up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I ask slightly confused from the crying and revelations I just had.

"To our bedroom. No more doghouse for you. You are home now." She says as she opens the door to the master bedroom.

Home...she is right. I am back... I am home... finally...


	20. Chapter 20

_**Have I already told all of you how amazing you are? Honestly, you guys are the best, because of you and your votes A Different Life has made it into the final round of voting for the Fanatic Fanfics Awards. So, thanks to everyone of you who has voted for this story, you guys rock! **_

_**BTW, I was recently asked if I listen to certain songs while writing and yes, I usually listen to one song on repeat while writing... for this chapter it was 'Could not ask for more' by Edwin McCain**_

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_**Christian**_

I wake up slowly and smile feeling Ana cuddled up against me... or to be more precise she is almost sleeping on top of me. Opening my eyes, I look at her and see her small hand resting on my chest. It doesn't hurt, if anything it feels comforting and it makes me wonder if it would be the same if I would allow my family to touch me. I know that my phobia is still there, because I freaked the hell out when Kelsey touched me... maybe it's like an indicator... like I am able to let people touch me if I know deep down that they would never hurt me.

Christ, it took a helicopter crash and four lost years for me to finally see and accept that I am truly loved by my family. It makes me wonder how they managed to never give up on me, especially for all those years Elena had her claws in me... but then again, isn't that what loving someone is all about? To believe in the person and not to give up on him or her?

I think about Chrissie, my little princess. I already can't even imagined how life would be without her and I know that there is nothing my daughter could possibly do that would make me love her less or give up on her.

"Hi." I hear Ana's sleepy voice and find her blinking at me trying to keep her eyes open.

"Hi. Slept well?"

"Yes... you?"

"Me too, no nightmares, you are still my dreamcatcher."

"That's good and we still have about two minutes left." She yawns and I frown.

"Two minutes left?"

"Until Chrissie sneaks into the room. Our daughter is an early bird, if I don't wake her up until seven she comes in to wake me up."

"Well then lets make the next two minutes count." I smirk and twist around so I'm on top of her in bed and start to kiss her neck.

"Christian... don't Chrissie can come in here any second. And you still have two dates to go before we can get all hot and sweaty." She giggles and I pout.

"So, I'm allowed to sleep in your bed, but I can't take advantage of it?"

"Our bed... and I have to inform you that I am really into delayed gratification." She mocks me and I laugh.

"Two dates, huh? Okay, how about we make our second date a breakfast date, and the third date a lunch date, this way we can get back to bed this afternoon." I wiggle my brows and Ana starts to laugh. I grab her hips and press my erection against her.

"Christian, please... I'm not on birthcontrol, I need to see Dr. Greene first." She sighs and rest my forehead against hers.

"I assume you don't have any condoms here either?"

"Sorry." She murmurs and shakes her head, but that gives me an idea.

"Wait here, don't move." I get up, put my jeans on and leave the bedroom. First I stop at Chrissie's room and see that she is already up and playing with her dolls. I close the door silently and hurry downstairs into the security office where Sawyer is sitting.

"Hey look, I need you to help me out."

"Sure, what do you need, Mr. Grey?"

"Can you help Chrissie get ready for breakfast and keep her occupied for the next hour?"

"No problem." He says and I know that he knows what I am up to.

"Perfect, do you happen to have some condoms here?"

Sawyer grins opens a drawer and throws a box condoms my way. "Terri, the girl who helps Gail with the cleaning, she is hot." He winks and I leave with a smirk.

Back in the bedroom I find Ana stretched out on top of the covers typing on her phone.

"Something important?" I ask and she looks up.

"It's Kate, I called her last night and she is really nervous about tonight. She asked me for the recipe of stuffed peppers. I just hope she has taken some cooking classes or otherwise we all end up with food poisoning." She grimaces.

"Let's worry about that later, baby. Look what I found." I show her the box of condoms and she rolls her eyes.

"Security?"

"Yup, apparently your cleaning lady is an easy lay." Ana says nothing and instead moves to sit on the edge of the bed and motions for me to get closer.

"I assume you also managed to find someone to look after Chrissie?" She asks and starts to open the buttons of my jeans.

"Yes. Sawyer is taking care of her for the next hour... so are you still into delayed gratification?"

"I have waited four years for this moment... I think I have earned myself instant gratification." She says and the most beautiful blush creeps up her skin.

"That you have..."I reply and frown. She has waited for me, even though there was no hope... she has never been with someone else. All the while I got married and had sex with another woman. Suddenly I feel sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself and above all I feel like I have cheated on Ana and that thought alone is enough for me to run into the bathroom and throw up.

"Christian, oh my god, do you want me to call Grace?" I hear Ana behind me while I am still kneeling in front of the toilet. I shake my head and sit on the cool tile floor, where I rest my head on my knees.

"What happened? Christian please, talk to me." Ana begs and I look up.

"You've never been with anyone else... but I... I have and ..." Ana sits down next to me and takes my hand.

"I won't lie and tell you that is doesn't matter to me... but I am not mad at you, Christian. I can't blame you for the choices you've made when you didn't even knew that I existed. More so, you were led to believe that no one is looking for you, you've been alone and that bitch tricked you into believing that she was someone you could trust. Please don't blame yourself for anything you've done while you couldn't remember. We both have been through enough, can't we just try and move forward into a happy future together?"

I look at her and see the hope in her eyes... isn't that what I want too? A happy future with Ana and my family? It's not just want I want, it's what I need and I now know that I have to let go off the past and in order to do so, I have to face not just Kelsey, but Elena too because she too has stolen many years of my life.

"Yes, I want that, baby. You have no idea how much." I lean in to kiss her and laugh when she turns her face and scrunches her nose.

"Do you want me to brush my teeth?" I ask amused and she nods. So, I get up and smirk when I grab her toothbrush to brush my teeth, just like she used mine when we first met.

"Mia just sent a message. She and my parents will be a little late." I murmur when my phone vibrates.

"I had no idea they are coming over."

"I've invited them for breakfast. They'll be here in about an hour and a half." I explain and pull her close.

"I know I have probably killed the mood big time, but I really need you, baby."

"I want you." She breathes against my lips and pulls my face closer to her so she can kiss me.

_Fuck! Just hearing her say that makes my dick so hard my pants are about to explode!_

As if Ana was reading my thoughts she opens the last two buttons of my jeans and pulls them down so they fall to the floor and I step out of them never breaking our kiss.

Grabbing the hem of her nightgown I pull it up and end the kiss to take it off her. I take a step back to take her all in..._perfection!_

There is no other way to describe her and seeing the light rose blush spreading over her face turns me on even more. As my gaze shifts down her body I can see her starting to shift on her feet and she tries to cover her belly with her arms. I gently take her hands and see the few fainted stretch marks on her flat stomach.

"Don't hide from me, baby. This is sexy... it's where our daughter grew." I tell her and trace the stretch marks with my fingers... truth be told, I hadn't even noticed them if Ana hadn't tried to cover them, but my girl was and still is self-conscious when it comes to her body.

Cupping her ass I pull her flush against me and look down at her getting lost in the depths of her blue orbs.

She reaches up to trail her fingers along my cheek, my jaw line and when she reaches my lips I catch her finger between my teeth making her yelp in surprise. Releasing her finger I grab her hand and kiss the tip of each finger in turn.

"Let's get you into bed." I murmur and lift her onto my hips. She wraps her legs around me and I carry her to the bed. Climbing on to it, I twist so I am above her and start to kiss her neck. She taste and smells divine, of flowers and Ana, the most intoxicating and enticing scent in the world.

"Christian." She softly moans my name when I kiss along her collarbone and down to her breasts. Knowing my girl, I know that she already wet and ready for me, but I want more. For once I don't want to fuck, I want to make love and take my sweet time with her.

Her fingers fist in my hair when I start to suck on one of her nipples and I remember all the other times Ana has fisted her fingers in my hair... _because she couldn't touch you, Grey. _

Pushing the thought aside I continue to let my mouth and tongue travel down Ana's body and frown a little when I find that she is now shaving or waxing her privates. Fuck, it's hot and I can see that she is already dripping wet.

Not able to resist any longer I release my tongue on her and her hips start to move in their own rhythm. I want to tell her to keep still, but resist... I want her to be just herself with me and this is my girl... unable to keep still in the throes of passion.

"Christian...please..." She mewls clawing the sheets and I smile up against her.

"What do you need, Anastasia?" I ask..._come on, baby, say it... I need to hear you say it. _

"You... I need you, Christian... please." She begs and I know she is close, but I want to feel her orgasm while being buried deep inside her. Sitting up between her legs, I reach over to the nightstand, grab a condom and quickly roll it over my dick.

_Fuck, this is it...I'm finally truly home. _I muse as I enter her and it's Ana's undoing. She reaches her orgasm screaming my name and her inner walls clench around me, but I fight my own release, I want to make this last.

I watch her mesmerized by the sight of this beautiful woman beneath me and slowly start to move. Her hands find their way to my back and I welcome her touch... it's what I need... what I crave...

"I want you so much, baby...fuck, you feel so good." I moan between deep thrust.

_Fuck... I'm never going to last... she feels just too good. Control, Grey!_

"I love you... I love so much, Christian." Ana half whispers half sobs, while meeting each of my thrust... _damn, she is perfect... my Ana._

"I love you too, baby... you are mine..." I growl the last words and feel her inner walls clench around me... _oh fuck this is it... if she cums now it will be my undoing._

And with my name on her lips Ana reaches her second orgasm and I can hold on no longer and let my own orgasm take over while staring into her beautiful eyes.

_**Ana**_

"Fuck, I'm nervous for my brother, I don't think my parents will be pleased to see Katherine." Christian says as he pulls up into the driveway.

"Mommy, Daddy said fuck, he has to sit on the silent chair." Chrissie says.

"Well, now you've said it too, Chrissie, I guess that means you have to join your Daddy on the silent chair." I point out and her eyes go large.

"But I only said it because Daddy did first." She pouts.

"How about we both apologize and neither of us has to sit on the silent chair." Christian offers and I sigh.

"Fine, both of you are off the hook for now, but I don't want to hear that word again. Are we clear?" I say trying to sound strict and both give me a contrite yes.

Outside of Elliot's house we meet up with Carrick and Grace, while Mia's car is already there.

We go inside and Kate is nowhere to be seen.

"Don't worry, they'll understand, we all want you to be happy." I whisper into Elliot's ear when I see how nervous he is and as soon as we are all sitting in his living room he starts.

"I've asked you all to come here tonight, because I have very important news to share with all of you. Someone I thought I would never see again came back into my life and... well... come here babe." He calls out and Kate steps into the living room.

"Are you out of your mind, Elliot? This woman has..."

"Done nothing but trying to protect me." I say before Carrick has the chance to say anymore.

"Ana what are you saying?"

"Kate was trying to protect me, Carrick. My Dad, he was on to something, he didn't believe that what happened to Christian was an accident. He even suspected Ros and when my father died... Kate, she believed he was murdered, which he wasn't. She wrote the article to force me into getting security, which I refused to do every time she begged me to before and in trying to keep me safe she has lost so much... but she did it anyway. Please, I'm not asking any of you to welcome Kate with open arms, but I'm asking you to give her chance. If I can forgive her, so can all of you." I step forward and give Kate a hug which actually makes her cry.

"Hey, what's that, don't tell me my bad ass best friend has turned into a softy." I giggle and she laughs.

"I guess so, oh my and look at her, you two have done a great job with that little cutie pie." Kate says as she kneels in front of Chrissie.

"Hi Chrissie, I'm Kate, but you can call me Katie if you like." She says and Chrissie reaches forward to touch Kate's sparkling hair clip.

"That's pretty." She says.

"You like it? Come here." Kate really surprises me when she takes the hairclip of and puts it into Chrissie's hair.

"For you, I have a lot more of them, if you like I can get them after dinner and you can pick some for you to keep."

"Really?"

"Of course, a beautiful little girl like you needs a lot of beautiful things."

"Thank you, Katie."

"Am I still a surprise?" We suddenly hear the voice of a small boy and suddenly he runs into the room and there is complete silence for a moment. _Wow, talk about mini me. _I have seen pictures of Elliot as a small boy and his son looks just like him.

"Everyone, I want you to meet Elliot. Kate's and my son." Elliot says and Grace is the first to step forward.

"Ana, darling, would you mind to take the children outside." She asks me, so I kneel in front of little Elliot.

"Hi Elliot, I'm Ana and this is my daughter Chrissie, would you like to come outside with us and play in the backyard?"

"Otay, bye mommy, bye daddy." He says and just takes off with Chrissie while I make a mental note to ask Kate if she has given him the do not go anywhere with strangers speech yet.

As soon as we are in the backyard Chrissie shoots over to the bouncy castle Elliot has set up for her, but little Elliot stays behind.

"Do you want me to help you getting in there, buddy?" I ask him, but he shakes his head.

"What's wrong, Elliot?"

"Me ruined the surprise." He says sadly and I feel bad for him.

"No you didn't sweetheart. You did amazing, the grown ups just need to talk for a while, but I'm sure once they have talked you'll see how excited everyone is to meet you. Come let's join Chrissie in the bouncy castle, have you been in there? It's lots and lots of fun." I tell him and hold out my hand which he takes and I help him out of his shoes before we join Chrissie and all jump around.

After a couple of minutes I feel Christian's presence and turn around to find him watching us, so I get off the bouncy castle.

"Everything alright?"

"My parents and Mia have left, Elliot is fucking pissed and Kate is bawling her eyes out." He says and rolls his eyes.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?"

"My Mom went postal and told Kate that she had no right to keep Elliot from his son and that this alone makes her a terrible mother and selfish person. Elliot tried to defend Kate, which pissed my Dad off and in the end my mother was crying and Dad took her home... what a cluster fuck."

I sigh and look at Chrissie and Elliot. _To be that young and carefree again..._

"Can you watch them for a moment? I want to check on Kate."

"Sure... but the little guy is out of his diapers, right?"

"I guess... afraid of shitty diapers?" I giggle and he shudders.

"Well, if I can help it I would prefer to change my own kids shitty diapers first." He says.

"I keep that in mind, Mr. Grey." I grin and walk back inside where I find Elliot pacing the living room like a mad man.

"Elliot?"

"Can't they just be happy, Ana? Haven't we all been through fucking enough? Shit, I just don't get it..."

"Give them some time, Elliot, with everything that has happened... maybe it just wasn't the best timing."

"Fuck that! I'm not keeping my son hidden like a dirty secret to wait for a better timing." He fumes and I fill a tumbler with whisky at the wet bar. Elliot isn't usually all for hard liquor, but right now he needs something to call him down.

"Here, drink this... where is Kate?"

"In the bedroom... fuck, I promised her that everything would work out..."

"You have your drink, Christian is watching the kids and I will check on Kate." I tell him and enter the bedroom only seconds later.

Kate looks up from the bed, her eyes puffy and her face tearstained.

"Grace is right, I'm a terrible mother." She whispers.

"No, your not. You've raised a wonderful little boy and you've done it all on your own. Just give Grace and Carrick some time to digest this news."

"I should have expected this reaction, Grace never liked me." She sniffs and blows her nose in the most unladylike fashion, which makes me smiles.

"She liked you, Kate. And she is going to like you again... trust me, she'll come around. Especially, when she comes to the conclusion that she now has two grandchildren which she can spoil rotten."

"Maybe, where is Elliot?"

"Little or grown up Elliot?" I ask... we need to come up with a nickname for little Elliot, this is just confusing.

"My son."

"He is outside playing with Chrissie, Christian is watching them."

"Okay, I should get up and finish the cooking... you are staying right?"

"As long as you promise that you are not going to kill all of us with whatever you are cooking for dinner." I joke and she smirks.

"I've learned it, Steele. Comfort food is my specialty. Wait until you had my mashed potatoes, they are so delicious, Elliot wants them with every meal."

"Can't wait for it, do you need help in the kitchen."

"No, I'm fine... but thank you, Ana... for standing up for me earlier." She says and I give her a warm smile.

"I've missed our friendship and I want to start over into a more happy future... so I have officially become a firm believer in second chances."

"Sounds great... a happy future... that's what I want too."

"Well then, I think a nice dinner with family and friends is a good start."

Thirty minutes later we are all sitting at the table where Kate serves pork roast with veggies, mashed potatoes and gravy. For a moment I stare at my plate and sent a silent prayer to the havens begging for the food to taste as delicious as is looks.

I watch everyone else dig in and so I follow. "Wow, that's delicious, Kate." I moan in delight when I taste the food and Kate beams at me.

"Phew, now I'm relieved, I've passed the Ana test." She says and I frown.

"Remember in college, you were always the most polite person I've known, but whenever I cooked you would tell me that it tastes like... umm... you know..." She says not willing to say the word 'ass' in front of little Elliot and Chrissie.

"I sure did, because every time you've cooked, we had to throw everything away." I point out and Kate pouts. My gaze drifts to Chrissie, to check if she needs help with her food and what I see makes me smile. Chrissie hates carrots, it's the only vegetable she doesn't eat and little Elliot seems to hate peas, because they are in the middle of separating the peas and carrots on their plates and pushing the offending vegetables on to the others plate. And we all have to hide our laughter when one pea rolls back on little Elliot's plate and he stares at it with the most horrified expression before Chrissie grabs it and pops it into her mouth.

"Mommy, me wanna keep Chrissie." Elliot announces halfway through our meal and I have to hide my smirk when I see Christian glaring at him. _Keep your hair on, Grey... he is her cousin for heaven's sake. _

"Sweetie, Chrissie is your cousin, she is a not a pet that you can keep." Kate explains and he frowns.

"But maybe you can have a little brother or sister soon." Elliot says.

"I want one too... please mommy, can I have a little brother?" Chrissie pipes up and a vision of me happy and pregnant comes to my mind. With everything that happened being pregnant with Chrissie wasn't easy, but this time I have Christian... a little boy who looks just like his daddy...

"Is that a yes, Miss Steele?" Christian whispers into my ear and I give him a shy smile.

"Maybe."

"Mommy, Daddy! I want a little brother."

"Daddy and I will see what we can do, but it might take a while, sweetheart." I answer, but luckily Chrissie seems satisfied with my answer and Christian is grinning like a loon. We continue to eat until little Elliot speaks up.

"Babies come out of the mommy's butt." He says and both Elliot and Christian nearly choke on the sip of beer they had just taken.

"Not true." Chrissie says disgust.

"Is true." Elliot insists. "The come off the butt and fall into poo."

"Elliot James, that's enough no more poo conversations while we are eating." Kate says and he pouts.

"Still true." He mumbles and Chrissie pokes her tongue out at him.

"Chrissie Grace, I've seen that." I say with one raised brow and she mumbles an apology.

As soon as we have finished dinner little Elliot sits up straight and says: "And then the mommy has to lick the baby clean... like Mrs. Peterson's cat did." He says and nods to himself while Chrissie gets up and climbs into Christian's lap.

"Daddy... I don't want a little brother anymore... it's too gross." She says and I have to get up and clear my plate so I won't start to laugh at the exchange at the table.

"So... you and my dear bro?" Elliot asks when he comes to clear his plate too.

"What about us?" I ask feigning innocence.

"Come on, you two are back together, right?"

"Yes. What's the point in holding a grudge when all I want is to be with him." I shrug and put my plate in the dishwasher.

"I'm happy for both of you... looks like we both are finally getting our happily ever after." Elliot says and we hug.

"We have waited long enough for it... we deserve to be happy... all of us."

* * *

_**Have you guys had the chance to read Grey yet? I have to admit I was a bit apprehensive to read it at first, because sometimes changing the POV can ruin a story... however I was too curious to stay away, so I bought the audiobook and listened to it while cooking and cleaning... and I have to admit I loved it! And it really made me laugh out loud a couple of times... I don't want to spoil anything, but it's really worth reading!**_

_**BTW, a new chapter for The Mile High Club will be up by Sunday at latest :-)**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Ana**_

It's been two days since dinnergate at Elliot's and here I am in my living room sitting on the sofa with Grace while Chrissie and little Elliot are playing together on the floor with some of the toy cars he had in his little backpack.

To say that Christian and I been surprised to see Carrick and Grace arrive with little Elliot earlier would be an understatement. Apparently neither of them couldn't resists to finally meet their grandson and when they went to Elliot's this morning they made their peace with Kate and offered to take little Elliot for the day, so Elliot and Kate could spend some time alone.

"They are both simply adorable." Grace gushes and I nod in agreement.

"So, do you think you'll get along with Kate?" I ask and Grace sighs.

"I was very angry when I found out that Kate didn't tell Elliot that he has a son right away, but the more I thought about it, the clearer it became to me that she was in a very bad position herself and she was still very young and impulsive. I don't know if we will ever be as close as you and I, Ana, but I hope that one day we'll get there. Until then I am just hoping that we'll get along fine."

"Sounds good to me." I mutter in agreement and stare at my hands.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Grace asks and I nod.

"Darling, Christian needs to get closure, this is not him trying to get back in touch with this terrible person."

"I know Grace and that is not what I am worried about, what I am worried about is that I'm going to lose it once I see her. She took him from me... she could have done the right thing and just drop him off at the next hospital, but kidnapped him and convinced him that there is no one looking for him, she has stolen so much time from all of us and I just want to shred her to pieces." I confess and Grace give me a sympathetic smile.

"I know sweetheart, but what's important is that we got Christian back and no matter what she is going to say or do, it won't change that it is you Christian wants to spent the rest of his life with."

"I couldn't have said it better, Mom." We both hear Christian behind us and leans down to kiss me.

"Yours." He whispers against my lips and it makes me smile. _Yes, he mine!_

"I'm going to get something to drink for the kids, do you want something too?"

"That would be great, baby... can you get a beer for my Dad and I, he'll be back in a moment."

"Sure, what do you want, Grace?"

"Just a water, sweetheart." She says and I leave to get into the kitchen, still dreading our trip to Alabama tomorrow morning. As I walk out of the living room I hear the voices of Jason and Luke from the security office and it sounds as if they were in a heated discussion.

I step closer to listen and hear Luke. "Fuck, I'm not going to hand this to Ana. She doesn't need to see that shit, T."

"I know, but we can't just throw it away... I'd say let's give it to Grey and he can decide what to with it."

"What to do with what?" I ask and step into the office where both try to hide a box from me, which isn't successful.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" I snap and both know that I mean business, I rarely snap at them, but with the trip to Alabama coming up, I just don't have the time to ask nicely a second time.

"This box was delivered for you today Ana."

"Okay, who has sent it?"

"A woman called Janet Kirkpatrick."

"Never heard of her, what is in the box?" I ask and both of them start to shift from foot to foot while looking anywhere but at me.

"Okay, that's enough." I grab the box, open it and stare at the contents.

"Ana, that bitch did this on purpose..."

"Please don't." I whisper and the pictures of Christian and Kelsey together. Happy and smiling... _he was happy with her... can I make him happy? Happy like he looks in this pictures?_

"Ana don't let that bitch get into your head, she is playing mind games with you." Jason says.

"I need some fresh air, ask Christian what he wants to do with the pictures." I murmur and leave the security offices. Stepping out of the house I walk over to the meadow and sit down.

The rational part of me knows that Kelsey had some sent them to me on purpose just to rile me up, but the emotional part of me is just seeing the pictures thinking that there must be a part of Christian who misses the easy life he had with her and that being here back in his old will never be enough for him to be happy.

"There you are... I was worried." I hear Christian's voice as he sits down next to me.

"Have you... ?"

"Yes, Taylor showed me the pictures. Baby, they mean nothing." He says.

"You were happy."

"Ana, I can show you tons of pictures with my family when I was a teenager in which I am looking happy when I wasn't... when I thought about ending my life." He says and I gasp.

"I didn't feel worthy of my family and thought that my life would be never but never ending misery... but I couldn't do it because I knew it would break Grace's heart. What you have seen in this pictures wasn't me being happy with her... it was me trying to be happy."

"You said you liked the easy life you had before your memories returned." I point out.

"Yes, I did... but it doesn't mean that I was happy, I was angry... sad even because I thought there was not one single person in this world who cared enough about to me to look for me. You make me happy, Ana. Our daughter makes me happy. Hell, even my idiot brother makes me fucking happy these days. Don't allow her to mess with you, baby. It's over she is in jail and that's where she belongs... all I need is to say that to her face... but if it is too much for you we'll stay here."

"No, you deserve to get closure, this is not about me... it's just you know even though I'm a lot better at hiding it these days I'm still self conscious and sometimes I'm just wondering if I will be enough for you... to make you happy."

He pulls me in his lap and holds me close. "You make me happy, Ana. Just waking up next to you in the morning makes me happy, holding you like this makes me happy and knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with you makes me the happiest son of bitch on the planet."

"I love you, Christian, more than you'll ever know."

_**Christian**_

"You can wait in the car if this is too much for you." I say to Ana went Jason stops the car in front of the women's prison where Kelsey is waiting for her trial. Ana is all over the place and I know it's because she fears that I am still in love with Kelsey or that the bitch could give me something Ana couldn't.

I know I shouldn't be happy about some of the side effects of Ana feeling the way she does, but man did I enjoy some of them. This morning I woke up to her giving me a blowjob and ten minutes later she was riding my cock so hard, I'm pretty sure me screaming her name could be heard all over town and at least in one neighboring state.

After that Ana freaked out a little because the condom was leaking, but I'm pretty sure nothing happened as she told me that she had her period just a week ago... and if something happens even better, because I don't want our children to have a huge age gap. Wisely though I didn't bring that up, because I'm not sure Ana wants to have a second baby right away.

"No, I want to go with you." She says and so we leave the car.

After a lot of annoying security checks we are finally led into a visitors room and are asked to sit at a table. A few moments later the door opens and Kelsey is led into the room by one of the female prison wards.

She looks a lot older without her make up in place and I wonder if I have ever seen her without before, because if I did I have no idea why I didn't run for the hills screaming.

"Why is _she_ here?" She whines when she sees Ana.

"Ana is here because we don't have secrets and as the woman in my life she has every right to hear this conversation." I say coldly and Kelsey flinches.

"I am the woman in your life, I am your wife!" She says and I lean back and stare at her.

"No, you are not my wife, you are the bitch who kidnapped me and lied to me for years! You drugged me and you did everything within your power to keep me from my family... and now I want to know why."

"I had to protect Elizabeth... and I saved your life!"

"No you didn't you fucking stole my life... do you have any idea what kind of hell you have put my family through? You had so many chances to do the right thing but you never did and now look where you are! Was it worth it?" I sneer and she stares at me for a moment.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this... I... I thought you love me too, but it was also her... even with no memory you never fully forgot about her." She yells at us and I frown.

"What do you mean?"

"You talk in your sleep and whenever that happened you would murmur her name... hers not mine! She ruined everything... I mean why couldn't she just fucking move on! All the waiting and drugging you it was just to wait for her to find someone else, so we could go back and get everything back that is yours!"

_Fuck, I knew it. It was all about my fucking money..._

"So this this was the plan all along, to keep me drugged and one day get my money?" I ask and Kelsey stares at me with disdain.

"Yes, once I had you cleaned up, I knew exactly who you are and I thought, this is my chance, my one chance to the life I deserve. My plan was perfect, I wanted us to have kids by the time your memory returned, that would have insured you wouldn't leave me, but you just couldn't get the job done, now could you?" She huffs bitterly and I snort.

"Well, as you may know I have a beautiful daughter, so maybe you're the problem." I reply coldly and she gasps.

"Oh you arrogant son of a bitch, how I wish I would have let you die instead of wasting four years of my life with you!" She yells at me and before I can say anything Ana speaks up.

"You had four years with him and all you care about is his money? Seriously you are one fucked up bitch." Ana hisses and when I look at her she shaking with anger. I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze, but she isn't finished yet.

"Did you ever even one second feel bad about what you were doing? To him, to his family and his daughter?" She snaps and Kelsey shrugs.

"No, why. I had to take care of him which wasn't exactly pleasant in the beginning all the while all of you could enjoy life thanks to his money... I deserve the life you have!" Kelsey hisses at Ana and I'm shocked that I never saw what a natural born bitch she is.

"And that's the problem... all you see is the money. What you don't see is the constant security, threats and paparazzi. Oh and the work of course... you see Kelsey if you thought that shoving horse shit is hard work then try a walk a mile in his shoes. Because let me tell you, he didn't get anything handed on a silver platter, he has worked day and night for everything he has... maybe you should have tried that too instead of kidnapping a severely injured man, not giving a damn if he makes it to Alabama and lying to him for your years!"

"Oh you have to talk, all you've ever done was to open your legs for a rich guy." Kelsey snaps and I have had enough.

"Enough! Do you hear me Kelsey? You will never ever disrespect my wife again! Ana has put herself through college, managed to get a good job fresh out of college and while I was gone she not just raised our daughter alone, but she also stepped in at GEH. And what's more so she doesn't want anything from me other than my love and time. Maybe if you had been that way you wouldn't be sitting here but somewhere in your own home with a nice husband... you know what's funny, I thought I needed this, to come here to get closure... but I don't. You are nothing but a bitter bitch and I'll make sure you and everyone else who was involved in my kidnapping will get what they deserve."

I get up and hold out my hand to Ana, she takes it and we leave the prison ignoring Kelsey who is screaming profanities until we are out of earshot.

Back in the car I notice that Ana is very silent. "Are you alright, baby?"

"Yes, it's just what you said." She murmurs.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"When Kelsey said all I ever did was to open my legs for you and you yelled at her... you called me your wife." She says without looking at me and I smile, she did notice it!

"Look at me, baby." I ask and when she does I smile at her.

"To me you are and I hope that one day in the not so far future you will be just that... Mrs. Grey. After all I have proof that you've agreed to marry." I fish the keychain she has given me from my pants pocket and show it to her. It stopped working only minutes after she gave it to me, but Taylor was able to fix it for me and since then I have it on me every day.

"I didn't think you would keep it." She admits.

"Why?"

"I don't know... maybe when I gave it to you I hoped for more of an reaction... but I would like to be Mrs. Grey one day."

"One day soon." I add and I hope once the trials are over and the dust has settled a bit I can finally make her my wife...


	22. Chapter 22

_**Ana **_

After our short stay in Alabama we've arrived in Georgia early this morning. Of course, Christian offered to come with me to visit my mother, but the news that he is alive won't come out until tomorrow, so I've asked him to stay with Chrissie at the vacation home we have rented for the next two days.

I can honestly say that I'm so nervous, I'm about to pee my pants. I have treated my mother terribly when deep down I knew she just wanted me to move on and be happy.

"Ready, Ana?" Jason asks when he parks outside my mom's place.

"Yes, I'll call you when I want to leave." With that I get out of the car and knock at the front door only seconds later.

It takes about 30 seconds and then my mother opens the door, the moment she sees me she bursts into tears and covers her mouth with both hands.

"Hi Momma" I address her just like I've done as a child and try to fight back my own tears. My mother reaches forward and pulls me into her arms.

"Oh Ana... I've missed you so, so much. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to convince you to move on... oh my god... I can't believe you are here." She says and takes a step back to look at me.

"Look at you, you look so grown up... oh but you are too thin, darling. You are not on some sort of crazy diet, are you? You don't need that Ana... come, I'll cook you a nice meal. How about chicken and broccoli, it was your favorite as a child... you still like it, right?"

"Yes... but you don't have to cook for me, Mom. I just had breakfast and I'm really not hungry."

"A sandwich then... you need to eat more, come... let's get you into the kitchen, darling." My mother says and I know better than to say anything else. _Jesus, between her and Christian I will be able to roll my way around town in no time. _

"So, tell me is everything alright? How is little Chrissie doing?"

"She is great, Mom. Actually, she is here in Georgia too... you can meet her if you want to." I offer and my mother beams at me.

"Of course I want to meet my granddaughter. She is such a beautiful little girl."

"She takes after her father." I smile.

"She does, but she would be just as beautiful if she were to take after you in her looks."

"Mom, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have shut you out the way I did. I know you were just trying to help me, but I couldn't see it. I just felt threatened because I was so desperately trying to keep Christian's memory alive. At the time it just felt like you were trying to take that away from me and I was so afraid to let go off... I..."

"Darling, I know. Believe me, I know how you felt. I've lost your father when you were just a day old. It was like I was given the most happy day of my life when you were born and then your father died in a freak accident and it felt like there was no light... no hope and all I had were my memories. I understand why you did what you did, I just hope we can move on from that and be a happy family again. I have missed you so much."

"I have missed you too, momma. So, so much." I sob and hug her.

"It's alright, sweetheart. You are here now and that is all that counts." She says and after some more talking we decided to go to the vacation home, so she can meet Chrissie.

Arriving at the vacation home I am a bit nervous, I know my mother wouldn't have believed me if I had told her that Christian is alive. However, I have no idea how she is going to react when she sees him.

"You could have stayed at my place, Ana." My mother says.

"With security and everything it would have been a bit crowded, don't you think." I reply and we walk inside my. Hearing Chrissie laugh my mother hurries into the direction where it came from and stops dead in her tracks when she finds Chrissie with Christian on the floor playing.

"Dear God..." She gasps.

"Mom..."

"No, Ana this is not right... darling I know how much you have loved Christian... but you have to let him go. You can't start over with a look-a-like of the man you love."

"Mom..." I try again but she cuts me off again.

"Darling, please. I know how you feel, after you father passed away I was devastated. I tried to find someone just like him, but it's not healthy... this man... he is not Christian... you can't replace him and ..."

"Is everything alright, Ana?" Taylor asks when he steps into the room and my mother turns his attention to him.

"You! How could you allow this to happen? You are supposed to protect my daughter! This man has to leave!" My mother says adamant and points to Christian.

"Mrs. Adams, I think this is a misunderstanding. I am not some Christian Grey look-a-like. I am Christian Grey."

"What? No... I thought... but ..." My mother stutters and turns to look at me.

"It's the truth, Mom. It's a long story, I'll explain it to you, but for now the most important information for you is that Christian is back."

"Ana... are you sure? He could be a con artist or something like that... have you even considered that? People do not rise from the dead... he could be dangerous or plain crazy or..."

"Mom, please calm down, he is Christian. He even did a DNA test with Chrissie."

"But the helicopter crash... I just don't understand." My mother says looking utterly confused.

"Baby, why don't you sit down with your mom and talk. Chrissie and I wanted to go for a swim anyway." Christian offers, so I sit down with my mother in the kitchen and explain everything to her.

"My goodness... and I thought Miss Bailey was such a nice woman... poor Gwen, how is she holding up?"

"We have talked on the phone several times. She is hurt and feels betrayed... but she also told me that their relationships had many cracks and she was just holding on to hope that it might become what it was again. She is thinking about moving back to Ohio, her family and many old friends live there, but she is taking her time to really think about what she wants to do with her live now."

"That is good... and you, I mean Christian and you?"

"We wanted to take things slow and see what happens, but naturally between the two of us nothing ever goes slow, so we are back together trying to get to know each other again and figuring out how to move forward from everything that has happened." I explain and can't help the silly grin on my face.

"You really have it bad, babygirl." My mother replies with a warm smile.

"Yes, I know, but I just can't help it. Having Christian back, it's like a dream come true... one I didn't even dare to dream. I have been miserable for so long, I just want to be happy and I want to share that happiness with everyone who is close to my heart." I say and reach for my mother's hand.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere sweetheart."

The next day started out with Christian and I watching the press conference on TV. As expected my house, GEH and each residence owned by the Grey's in Seattle is haunted by the media and before noon there are pictures of Elliot flipping them off circulating on the news and gossips blogs.

"Fuck me, I'm glad we are not in Seattle." Christian says and sips on his beer after lunch.

"Careful... little ears." I say and point to Chrissie who is playing on the living room floor.

"She didn't hear me, I wasn't speaking that loud, but I promise to be more careful." He says just as Taylor comes in.

"Ana, security just informed me that some paps approached your mother at her home."

"Oh no, is she okay?"

"She is." He snickers and I raise a brow.

"I'm sorry, she was just about to clean her porch and when one of them asked her something inappropriate she smacked him in the face with a broom." He says barely able to keep a straight face.

"No way! Oh my god, this is a nightmare, they will picture her as some kind of modern hillbilly." I sigh.

"The paps asked her if you would jump back from Noah's dick to Mr. Grey's." He says and I rub my face with my hands.

"I hope she smacked them hard." Christian mutters.

"She can't stay at her place, it's only going to get worse until they get their shots of Christian." I sigh.

"Let's take her with us, baby. We can fly out to the Outer Banks today and escape the media." Christian says and without giving it a second thought I nod and so we are back on the plane only two ours later.

In the evening Christian and I decide to take a walk at the beach.

"It's amazing here... I wish we never had to go home." I muse and smile up at Christian.

"Okay, we sell GEH, buy the house and stay here." He says, but I know he is joking.

"We can't do that, but maybe one day we can live here... you know once we have retired."

"Hmm... not sure, after all by then all of our children will have children and I want us to live close to our family."

"All of our children?" I ask and he smiles.

"At least two more. I don't want Chrissie to be an only child. Growing up with siblings is a great experience and of course... I want to experience how it feels to hold my child in my arms just after it was born." He says a bit melancholic.

"You will... I promise."

"And I want to see you heavy with child." He continue and I make a face.

"It's not as romantic as you make it sound. Swollen feet, constant heart burn and nasty gas is not sexy, you know?" I giggle and he laughs.

"I can live with all of it... but please don't tell me the farting is as constant as the heartburn." He says and I smack his shoulder.

"You are no gentleman!"

"You brought the topic up, baby... I'm just trying to figure out if I need to invest in a gas mask to survive sharing a bedroom with you." He says with a wink and I laugh.

"It's not that bad. If our next child turns out to be as active as Chrissie you can spend hours feeling him or her dancing inside my belly... but the most amazing part is way earlier. It's when we will go to one of the doctors appointments and can listen to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. With Chrissie, I was so overwhelmed I just couldn't stop to cry. It made it feel... like it was that very moment where I could really realize that there was a real human being growing inside my belly. I can't wait for you to have that experience too." I say and as those words leave my mouth I realize that I want to have a second child, not just because Christian obviously wants more kids, but because I want to have more children too.

"I can't wait for that either."

"You have to marry me first. You know I am not having another child before I am not married."

"So moral, Miss Steele." He teases.

"Why yes, Mr. Grey. If you want to have your way with me, you have to make me a an honest woman." I tease back.

"So no shenanigans before we are married?" He says and pretends to pout.

"Yes." I reply and try to keep a straight face.

"Well then, let's get married tomorrow." He says and I laugh.

"Sure, let's do this." I giggle, but he stops and looks into my eyes.

"I wasn't joking, Ana. I want us to get married... why should we wait. We have already lost so much time. I don't want to wait any longer. We can get married here on the beach or in the ball room of a hotel. We can fly my family in and everyone else you might want to attend too. I love you, Anastasia Steele. Please be my wife."

"Yes!"...

* * *

_**I know, I've originally promised a winter wedding, but as always during the process of writing the story took a different direction... so next up a beach wedding!**_

_**BTW, I have neglected the Pinterest boards for all my stories for a while now, so I will look take some time on Friday and add new visuals for all my ongoing stories on Pinterest. **_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Christian**_

I can't resist. I trail my fingers down Ana's naked back and the curve of her amazing ass. _Hmm... one day I'll claim her ass too... _

"Good morning, husband." Ana's sleepy voice makes me smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Grey. I hope you have slept well." _Fuck yes, she is mine. My wife. Mrs. Grey, and no one can ever say anything else. _

"I have slept very well." She murmurs and turns around. Leaning in she starts to kiss my chest and her petite hand wraps itself around my hard cock where she starts to leisurely stroke me.

"You seem happy to see me this morning." She smirks up at me and my answering grin must look really goofy.

"I'm always happy to see you wife of mine." I moan when she starts to stroke me faster and flicks her tongue over my nipple.

"Me too... but I'm even more happy to taste you." She whispers with a seductive look on her face and bites her lip. _Fuck, do not cum now, Grey... your not a fucking teenager!_

I watch her as she leaves a trail of kisses down my chest and stomach until she reaches her goal and runs her tongue along the length of my cock. When she looks up at me she has an mischievous gleam in her eyes and before I know it she has taken me into her mouth all the way to the back of her throat and runs her teeth along my dick as she releases me from her mouth. The sensation is so intense it makes my toes curl.

"Holy fuck, do that again!" I gasp and she obliges making me moan like a whore in church when she does it three more times.

"Stop... fuck... baby ... stop." I hiss through gritted teeth when she does it again and grab her by the shoulders. Flipping her onto the mattress I am above her within a second and push one finger inside her which makes her moan deep in the back of her throat.

"So wet, Mrs. Grey... does it turn you on to tease me... to me drive me wild." I whisper against her lips and trace them with my tongue while I thrust a second figure inside her.

"Yes... it turns me on... just seeing you turns me on... please Christian... I need you." She mewls when I continue to finger fuck her. _Oh damn, seeing her like this moaning and thriving beneath me is almost my undoing..._

Quickly withdrawing my fingers I thrust inside her and rest my forehead against hers for a second our rapid breathing the only sound that can be heard in our bedroom.

For a moment I just enjoy the feeling of being buried deep inside her, but then I start to move thrusting deep and hard into her chasing my orgasm.

"Christian... oh my god... yes... so good." Ana moans and lifts her hips to meet each of my thrusts. Looking at her I slow down a little to make this last and take in her beauty... and to think that I am going to spend the rest of my life with this woman... I am one lucky son a bitch!

"Faster... please... I need you to move faster." Ana begs and I don't hold back any longer. Feeling her clench around me is what finally tips me over the edge and we reach our orgasm together while screaming each others name.

A while later Ana and I are taking a bath together.

"Do you think they are still looking for us?" She giggles.

"I don't give a fuck... but I have to say Mrs. Grey that was a great idea you had."

Ana and I got married at the beach just six days ago. While talking about our honeymoon we both had only one wish, to go home and enjoy a few quiet days. So, Ana came up with the idea of us releasing a statement, saying that we got married and would enjoy our honeymoon in Europe.

And that's what we did. So, while all the paps are trying to find us overseas, we went back home to Seattle and haven't left our bedroom for more than an hour or so each day.

Chrissie is spending some quality time with my parents, so I have Ana all to myself and I couldn't be more happy with the way our honeymoon is going... especially since I get to see my wife naked all day...

"I wish we could hide here forever." She sighs.

"Me too." I reply thinking about next week. Next Monday we have an court appointment. I already received my passport and everything else back, but on Monday I'll be the owner of GEH again and come Tuesday I will go back to the office.

Noah is already itching to move on to his next adventure and Ana has offered to come to the office with me for the first few weeks. She already got me up to date with all the deals we have been working on and the new gadgets GEH is developing at the moment, but for the time ever I am nervous to go back and the thought of not spending all my time with Ana and Chrissie is not very pleasing.

Still, I want to go back and show the world that I am back... and that I am capable of taking over again. The media wrote shit about me being traumatized and about to be admitted because I was a emotional wrack after being kidnapped and tortured for years... I'll show those fuckers!

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by a loud rumbling sounds that erupts from Ana's belly.

"Hungry?" I chuckle when she blushes.

"Yes... all the activity has given me an appetite." She says still a little embarrassed.

"I'll go and get breakfast for us... don't get dressed." I say and kiss her before getting out of the tub. I wrap a towel around my waste and quickly dry myself before putting some sweatpants on.

Dressed like that I head into the kitchen where Gail is making breakfast.

"Breakfast will be ready in a minute, Sir. Can I get you a coffee while you are waiting?" She asks and before I can even say yes she has placed a steaming mug of coffee in front of me.

"Thank you, Gail... Gail are you making pancakes with chocolate chips and cherries again?" I ask with a grin and she nods a little embarrassed.

It's my favorite breakfast dish and a treat I have never allowed myself to have more than once a month seeing that it is not really healthy. Though ever since I have moved back into the big house, Gail is cooking my favorite dishes for every meal. If she doesn't stop soon I will be able to roll into the office one day soon.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Grey, it's just so good to have you back and seeing you this happy..."

"You don't have to apologize, Gail and I want to thank you."

"Thank me?" She asks a little startled.

"Yes, for staying with, Ana and for taking care of her and my daughter for the last four years. It means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to Ana as well." I say and Gail wipes her hands at her apron before she looks up at me.

"Mr. Grey, the moment I first met Ana, I knew she is different from the other women you had at Escala over the years. I won't say that all of your previous um... female friends... have been bad news, but all of them had an ulterior motive for entering the kind of relationship they had with you. Some saw only your money, some hoped to become Mrs. Christian Grey and some just needed you to fulfill their needs. Ana was different, she saw you, the man behind the money and the cold interior. She is kind and caring, but at the same time she has an inner strength that I admire. When we thought you were gone, the thought of seeking a new employment never came to me, because I would have never forgiven myself if anything had happened to Ana because Taylor and I decided to leave. She is pure and innocent in so many ways, people like her get easily used and abused by others... I didn't want to see that happen to her." Gail says and blushes obviously embarrassed to have said so much.

"I'm glad she had and still has you in her life, thank you, Gail." I say and somehow I feel like a simple thank you isn't enough, so I get up and give her a hug. It feels odd for a second, but I ignore the feeling and it goes away. When I step back Gail is speechless.

"I... I... need to get something from the pantry... I'll be back in a moment." She says and if I'm not mistaken she is fighting back tears. _Shit, I didn't mean to make her cry and Gail is not the overly emotional type..._

"Sir, the delivery you have been waiting for has arrived." Taylor announces and hands me a small parcel.

"Thank you, Taylor." I say and look at the contents of the box. It's exactly what I wanted, I just hope Ana will like it too...

_**Ana**_

After getting out of the tub I dry myself and use some body lotion and moisturizer before I get back into bed, naked as requested by wonderful husband.

I still want to pinch myself, just to make sure that it is really true, that I am really married to Christian and that life really can be this blissful.

Looking at one of our wedding pictures, which is now standing on Christian's nightstand I smile to myself... it really was the perfect wedding...

_Flashback - The Wedding Day-_

_"You look lovely sweetheart... but no shoes?" Carrick says with a smile when he enters the bedroom, which has turned into what Mia calls the bridal suite. _

_"Well, it's a beach wedding, right? And I am clumsily, so no heals means that I can't trip over my dress and land flat on my face before I reach the altar." I giggle and Carrick laughs. _

_"Do you really think I would let you fall?" He asks and I shake my head. _

_"No, you wouldn't, Dad." I say and suddenly I want to cry. I love Carrick Grey, like he was my father, but in this moment I would give everything to have Ray here with me and had him walk me down the aisle and share this special day with me. _

_"Hey, no tears... it's your day, Ana." Carrick says and hands me his handkerchief. _

_"I know, it's just I was thinking about Ray. He would have loved to be here to celebrate this day with all of us." I say trying not to cry and ruin my make up. _

_"Oh he is here, believe me, he will always be with you. You carry him in your heart, Ana. That's where all our loved ones are immortal and it is why they never leave us. And because you have mentioned Ray... here this is my wedding gift for you." He says and hands me a small velvet pouch. _

_When I open it, I find a long silver necklace with a locket. I open it and inside are two picture, one of Christian and one of Ray. Engraved on the back are four words... always in your heart..._

_"Thank you, Carrick that is amazing. I love it." _

_"Don't thank me, just allow me to walk you down the aisle now, she I can finally call you my officially my daughter." He says and offers me his arm. I take it and together we leave the house and walk down the short path to the beach. When we reach the aisle the small band we hired starts to play "Breathe" by Faith Hill and Carrick and I step forward and start to walk towards the altar where Christian is standing. He is wearing a cream colored suite and white shirt, but when my gaze drifts further down I see that he too is barefoot and it makes me giggle. I look up and he is winking at me. _

_The moment we reach the altar I find myself in Christian's arms and he kisses me until we hear Carrick clearing his throat. _

_"I think that is supposed to happen after the ceremony, son." He says with a huge grin on his face. _

_"Sorry Dad, it's her... Ana always made me forget about all the rules." He says and we both have to laugh about this private joke. _

_"Excuse me, do you want to get married or just stand here all day looking pretty?" Elliot asks and Christian mouths to him to fuck off, earning him a scolding look from the minister and Grace. _

_Finally, we turn to face each other while listening to the minister starting the ceremony with a speech. _

_Christian and I have chosen traditional, yet modern vows and I just can't help but cry when finally after all the heartbreak, emotional pain and drama I become his wife... something I thought would never happen, but now my dream has come true and in the end we seal our vows with a kiss..._

* * *

"Hey Mrs. Grey... are you still with me?" I am pulled back from my memories by Christian, who is waving his hand in front of my face.

"Yes... I was just thinking about our wedding." I tell him with a smile.

"Best day of my life." He says.

"Yes, for me too." I reply with smile and we both sit on the bed and enjoy breakfast... though I'm not sure if Christian is enjoying it more to eat the delicious food or to feed me with it, which has become his new hobby lately. He thinks I am to thin, so he makes feeding me both sexy and arousing.

After breakfast he pulls me to my feet and holds both my hands in his.

"Baby, there is something I want to do. Something I should have done last week when I proposed, but I guess I was just in the moment and not prepared then." He says and drops to his knees in front of me.

"Christian... what..."

"Hush, please let me say this." He continues and I nod. "Before I met you, I was caught in darkness Ana. I didn't even know what true happiness felt like and much less so did I think I would ever experience it. And then you came into my life like a whirlwind and turned my whole world upside down. You make me a better person, you make me believe in things I never thought I could have or want and what's more, you love me and showed me how to love. Even when you thought I was gone you never stopped loving me, you have given me the most beautiful gift in our daughter and now you have given me yourself when you became my wife. I love you, so much Ana Grey and what I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for believing in me, thank you for being the mother of my child and thank you for being my wife. I love you and I promise you that from this moment on, no one will ever tear us apart again." With these words he takes my wedding band off, slips the most beautiful engagement ring onto my finger and puts my wedding band back in place, now in front of my engagement ring.

When he gets up and wraps me in his arms I am crying like a baby... not because of the ring, but because of what he said and because I know it is true, there is nothing in this world that can ever tear us apart again... because we are meant to be together...

* * *

_**Visuals for this chapter can be found on Pinterest...**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**I got stuck with the new chapter for the Mile High Club, so I've decided to update A Different Life first...**_

_**Christian - two weeks after the honeymoon-**_

Staring into my reflection in the mirror I feel kind of odd, being dressed in a three thousand dollar suit again after such a long time. But... today is the day. Today I am going to go back to work.

Ana has spend most of last week to get me up to date with everything that is going on right now and begrudgingly I also agreed to meet with Noah fucking Whitmore. The sooner the guy is gone the better. I fucking hate the way he looks at Ana. She thinks I'm being irrational, but I believe she is just oblivious when it comes to the reaction she evokes in men.

That she has developed a great sense of fashion over the years and is perfectly groomed isn't helping, but she still thinks men don't have any interest in her. In her defense though I have to say, that she probably simply doesn't notice all the men gawking her, because she just isn't interested in them.

Over the last week we have started to go out in public together. The first time has been a fucking disaster. I took her to Canlis and they had to shut the place down and asked us to leave, because the fucking paparazzi had already smashed two windows in an attempt to snap a picture of us.

After that Ana did something I thought was a fucking terrible idea at first, but turned out to be the solution to our problem. She called a woman named Carol Harris, who is a reporter of the People Magazine and invited her to visit us for a home story and interview.

At first, I was less than pleased. I mean, inviting the media into the one place where they can't haunt us just seemed like a very bad idea. Still, at this point I was willing to give it a try. So, she came in with her team. We gave her an interview and allowed her to take some pictures of us, which much to the photographer's dismay had to be taken in spots approved by Taylor and Welch.

It was important though, because clearly we didn't want the pictures to help possible intruders to learn more about our security settings and floor plan.

The article came out online just a day later and since then the paparazzi have eased up on us, because they know that it was that first good picture of us together that would bring them a fortune.

With the whole media another issue has come up. Shortly, after the news hit that I am alive, Taylor informed me that Elena has been sending letters from jail to me and even called once.

I didn't even look at the letters, because I know that she will try to convince me to help her get out of jail, but I believe she is right where she belongs. Still, I want to tell her and I want to do it in person.

To say my father was less than pleased would have been an understatement, but he help me to get on Elena's visitor's list next week. Being a father myself has really opened my eyes and I want her to know that what she has done to me was wrong on so many levels that she deserves to spend the rest of life in prison.

Ana knows that I am going to see Elena, what she doesn't know is that I am also going to see Ros, who is awaiting her trial in the same prison. I just need to talk to her one more time. I need to know why she never spoke up, she was the only person in my life that came close to being a friend.

"Christian?" I turn around to find Ana dressed in a white blouse, a black floaty skirt and black high heels. _Fuck, my wife is hot!_

"Don't look at me like that, Mr. Grey. We have to leave in fifteen minutes, if you want to have breakfast you have to hurry and Chrissie is already waiting for her Daddy to say good morning to her."

"Well then, let's go. I wouldn't want to make one of my two favorite girls in the world wait." I say wrap my arm around Ana's waist and we go downstairs where Chrissie almost tackles me to the floor the moment she sees me.

"Daddy, daddy look what uncle Lelliot got for me." She says reaches into the pocket of her shirt and holds a furry little ball right into my face. On closer inspection I see that it is a hamster.

"Wanna know his name?" She says and I grin.

"Hmm... let me guess his name is Bob." I say and Chrissie gives me a huge smile and nod. Ana and I took her to watch The Minions three days ago and since then she is obsessed with those yellow little fuckers.

"Uh-huh and he likes bananas just like Bob and Kevin and Stuart, but he didn't want me to put some pants on him." She explains.

"Chrissie, you can't feed him bananas, it's too sweet for the little guy. Okay?" Ana says and takes the hamster.

"Wash your hands and eat your breakfast, I'll take Bob back to his cage." She says and disappears.

"Daddy, can I get a minion for my birthday?" She asks.

"We'll see." I reply... _Fuck, I hope I don't have to dress up like one of those yellow fuckers to make her happy... nah, I pay someone else to do it!_

Chrissie and I sit down at the table to start breakfast and I nearly take a spit take when she says:

"Daddy, why does little Leliot's down there doesn't look like mine."

"Really... it does, funny I had no idea." I say once I have recovered. No way I am having that conversation with her now. In the background I hear Gail snort with laughter.

"It does, Daddy. It looks like the nose of an elephant only reallllllyyyyy tiny." She explains and I have to fight the urge to laugh. Let's hope for the little guy that it is not as tiny as she makes it sound.

"Chrissie, eat your breakfast." I say trying to sound strict and failing miserably.

"But Daddy..."

"Chrissie. Eat. Your. Breakfast!" I order sternly and she pouts. I haven't been a father for long enough to talk about dicks and pussies with my daughter now... or ever!

"What is going on?" Ana asks when she joins us.

"Little Elliot's down there looks different then mine, Mommy." Chrissie says and Ana grins.

"Well, that's because he is a boy. Boys have a penis and testicles and girls have a vagina." Ana explains like she is having conversations like that every day.

"And how does he pee?"

"With his penis." She says and pours herself some orange juice, while Chrissie looks thoughtful for a moment.

"Mommy, you need to explain that to Daddy too... he didn't know." She says and Ana nearly chokes on her juice, while Gail leaves the kitchen, surely to roll on the pantry floor howling with laughter.

"I guess you are right. I'll explain it to your Daddy tonight."

"See Daddy, Mommy knows everything." Chrissie says with a smile and with that we leave the topic and she goes on and on about those little yellow fuckers again until Ana and I have to leave.

Chrissie will stay with Gail this week, while Ana goes to the office with me. We thought about taking Chrissie with us to the GEH daycare center, but agreed that it was best to leave her with Gail, until the media attention has died down some more.

"Nervous?" Ana asks when Taylor parks into the CEO parking spot at the garage of GEH.

"Maybe a bit." I confess honestly.

"Don't be it's like riding a bike... once you know how to do it, you'll never forget." She says and gives my hand a squeeze before we get out of the car. We head into the building and enter the cafeteria where most of the GEH staff has gathered. A podium has been sat up and along with our security we step on it and Ana heads straight for the microphone.

"Hello everyone. I'm happy to see so many members of the GEH family here today. Most of you have been here way longer than I have and those of you will remember that almost exactly four years ago, I have asked every employee of Grey House to gather here too. It wasn't a happy event back then and I asked every single person in this room the same question. Are you willing to stay? Are you willing to put your trust in a college graduate with very little knowledge of the business world and even less experience. Some left, some looked uncertain, but most of you stayed, willing to give me chance. A chance to keep GEH and the memory of Christian Grey alive."

I look at my wife and it's like seeing her for the first time. I had no idea she did that, nor did I think she would be this confident and eloquent when speaking in front of a crowd. I'm impressed and very proud of her.

"No one knew back then that Christian himself was still very much alive." She looks at me with a warm smile which I answer with a smile and I swear I hear some women gushing the second the see our little exchange.

"GEH has seen some rough times over the last four years, I, like most of you I am sure, had many sleepless nights trying, hoping and praying to keep this company running and together we made it happen. The business world had already considered GEH dead, but we came back stronger than ever and it's not because of me. It's because each and everyone in this room. I can never thank all of you enough for that, because of you today is a day I guess no one in here ever saw coming. Today is the day where GEH is going back into the hands of the man who has build it from the ground. Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the new CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. my husband Christian Grey."

It takes me a second to notice that it is my turn to talk, I am so mesmerized by watching my wife, but I step forward and look through the crowd. There are many people I know, faces I remember along with some new faces, though while I am speaking I have to admit that I am a little disappointed that the few people I was looking forward to see are not here.

Andrea, Barney and Fred... my Flintstones, Welch and Sam are not here... I guess they have better things to do.

After I have given my speech Ana and I head up to the top floor to my old office.

"Why is Andrea not here?" I ask when we step out of the elevator and Ana just shrugs.

"Go in." She says and I open the door to my office.

"SURPRISE!" I hear voices yell at me and inside are Welch, Fred, Barney, Sam and Andrea clapping and cheering while gathered around a small table with a huge cake on it, which has _Welcome back, Boss! _written on it.

_Shit, do not fucking cry, Grey! Don't you fucking dare, man up!_

"Umm... thank you... wow I wasn't expecting that." I mutter and clear my throat.

"Welcome back, boss... wow you are really alive... I ... umm... sorry..." Barney says and we all laugh when he has to turn away from me to hide his tears and blow his nose loudly.

"Sir, Barney and I... we've made this for you." Fred says and hands me a pocket watch.

"Wow, I had no idea you two know how to build clocks." I murmur and eye it. It's a bit old fashioned, but I happen to really like it.

"Well, we didn't built the watch, but we upgraded it. If you press the button on the top you activate a tracker, with which we will be able to track you no matter where on this planet you are and it's also for self defense."

"Self defense?" I blurt out, how the hell is this little thing going to be useful to defend myself.

"Well if you press this button..." He says and I accidentally press it and the room is filled with the loudest, shrillest sound I have ever heard.

"Turn it off." I scream over the sound and both Fred and Barney run around like headless chicken until finally the pocket watch is silent again.

"Is everyone alright?" I ask and get a unison of wide eyed nods.

"Well, I like the watch, thank you... but please tell me the cake is real and is not going to blow up in my face when I cut into it."

"I made it, Sir. It's safe to eat and cut." Andrea tells me and I am impressed, the cake looks amazing. I had no idea Andrea could bake.

After we all had a piece of cake and I listened to Barney and Fred going on and on about the new gadgets they are developing for GEH it is time to start the day.

Ana has agreed to work with me until I have found a COO and secretly I hope that I can make her my permanent COO, but she has a point when she says, that I will it's not a good idea, because we want to have another baby in the not too far future. Once we have a baby, she wants to stay at home and enjoy being a stay at home mom, something she couldn't do when Chrissie was little and secretly, I am thrilled that she wants stay home with our children... all that's left is to knock her up and I will have a hell of a lot of fun trying.

"Now I know why they call you the Tiger Lady, baby... hell, even I would have crapped my pants if I was the poor fucker you nearly threw out of the window at the last meeting we had today." I chuckle when we drive back home at five.

"Really, he had it coming, he was arrogant and oblivious and then he had the guts to ask who you are." Ana huffs.

"You didn't know who I was until we meet either." I point out and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, but I wasn't a business owner who wanted to make a good deal with GREY Enterprises." She mutters.

"I think I need to lighten your mood. Imagine this, you and I naked in the hot tub, sipping a glass of champagne after I have made love to you."

"Hmm... sounds like a good plan. Once Chrissie is asleep?"

"That's the plan... but there is something I want to ask you."

"Oh?" She shifts in her seat so she can look at me and I take a deep breath.

"I don't want us to use condoms anymore."

"Christian, you know we have to wait until next week, I have to wait until my period starts before I can start the pill."

"I don't want you to start. You've said yourself you want more children. There is nothing stopping us, Ana. The bad guys are behind bars, waiting for their trials, we are married... let's try for a baby, please."

She stares at me for a long while and I am starting to think she is trying to find a way to say no, but she surprises me.

"Okay, let's try."

"Really?"

"Yes, you are right, why wait, after all even if you knock me up tonight it will still have nine months until the baby is born... and I want a little boy who looks just like you."

"Or another little girl as pretty as her mother." I counter and she smiles.

"Boy or girl, I just want another healthy child." She says and entwines her fingers with mine.

_Operation get Ana pregnant has officially started... and this time I won't miss a second of the pregnancy or the life of my child..._

* * *

_**A little warning now, we are slowly but surely heading towards the end of this story. Next chapter will be Christian meeting Elena and Ros. After that there will be a little time jump of about four months and then four to five more chapters until the story is finished...**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Christian**_

_Okay, Grey, let's get this over with! _With that thought in mind I sit down in the visitors room and wait for Elena to be led inside. When I see her dressed in an orange jumpsuit, no make up in and her once perfect hair more grey than blonde I feel sick. I can't believe that I ever thought there was anything attractive about her.

"Christian... oh I am so happy to see you, darling. Have you heard what that evil little slut has done to me... she put me in prison... oh darling you need to get me out of here." She whines and I close my eyes and clench my fists in my pockets.

"Elena, I hope to hell you were not referring to my wife as evil slut, because if you just did then we are done." I hiss and she blanches.

"Yo-your wife?"

"Yes, Anastasia is my wife. She is the love of my life and you will only refer to her as Mrs. Grey... are we clear?" I snap and she nods.

"But I don't deserve to be here, Christian. What we did... I was helping you." She begs and I feel my skin crawl.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but you are not here because of me, Elena. You are here because of all the other underage boys you have molested... when you swore to me that you would never touch another teenage boy." I spit out and she looks as if she was about to cry.

"I was helping them, the same way I have helped you."

"Just tell me one fucking thing, Elena. How often did you have to tell that to yourself, until you started to believe your own lies? When did you become so screwed up that you could justify to yourself that you are raping children? Boys like me who had already been through hell... whom you could manipulate and groom into your own personal sex toys?" I hiss at her... fuck, I can't believe if took me this long to finally see the monster this pathetic excuse of a human being truly is.

"That's not true... Christian you have to believe me, you have to get me out of here. Please after all that I have done for you." She pleads her voice laced with panic as she realizes that I am not going to help her.

"You have done nothing for me... you've only done a lot of despicable and horrible things to me. You are right were you belong, Elena and if you ever try to contact me again, I will make sure that things will get even worse for you." I state calmly and get up.

"You can't leave me here like this... please Christian... you owe me." Elena screams when I turn to leave and it makes me turn back to look at her.

"I owe you shit, Elena. Don't ever try to contact me again."

And with that I leave and been asked to wait outside until it is time for my visit with Ros.

It can't get worse than my visit with Elena. Still, I am nervous about this one. Ros was the only person in my life that came close to a friend. Yet, she stood by and watched me getting kidnapped, fully aware of the fact that I was seriously injured and in desperate need of medical attention.

Fuck, I can't even think about it... think about how she went to the funeral fully aware that I am still alive and just watched my family go through hell...

Back in the visitors room I sit and watch as Ros is brought in and I am still watching her intently when she sits down in front of me.

"You look good, Christian." She says and I roll my eyes. _Fine let's start this with some chit chat._

"Well, I would like to say the same about you, but orange is not your color."

"Yeah, I know, looks terrible with my hair color." She says with dry humor in her voice and takes a deep breath.

"Christian, I want you to know that if I could turn back time, I would have done everything differently. I know there is no apology in this world, which is good enough for what I have done, but I need you to know that I deeply regret what I have done. When Charlie Tango crashed, I was under shock. I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was too late. I wanted to tell Ana so often, but I was scared of the consequences and..."

Fuck, I feel my anger rise and get up. "And you thought you just let it be. Fuck you, Ros. I've trusted you. You had so many chances to do the right thing and you never did. Was Elizabeth Morgan such a good lay? Because if it's not that, then it's either that you are a sociopath with no compassion for the people around you at all or she must have known something about you, that is so bad, that you just couldn't speak up. So, what is it, Ros?" I ask and her saying nothing has just confirms for me, that Elizabeth Morgan knows something about Ros, something so bad that she was willing to look the other way, no matter what the consequences were for everyone else.

"Ros, we have two options here. One, you tell me what she has on you, if by some random twist of fate it is enough for me to see your point, I will make sure you'll get out of here within a year or two. If you choose to remain silent, I will get up, leave this place and never look back. It's up to you."

I can see that she is battling with herself, trying to make up her mind, but she remains silent. Only a single tear is running down her cheek, when she finally opens her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Christian, but I can't. It's not just about me. I've made all the wrong choices and that's what got me here. Now it's time to put on my big girl pants and face the music. I know you can't forgive me and I don't expect you too, but I want you to know to know that I am happy you've found your way back home and that you are reunited with Ana and your family." She says and surprises me when she gets back up and asks to be brought back to her cell.

I watch her leave and just know that this is going to drive me insane. What could Elizabeth Morgan have on her, that is so bad, that Ros wants to stay here instead of just telling me the truth?

In the evening, while I wait for Ana to get ready for bed, I still can't stop to think about it. It's driving me insane. Shit, why do I even care? She didn't give a shit about me when she decided to let Elizabeth Morgan take me with her.

"You know, my mom always told me if I frown like that I'll get wrinkles as deep as the grand canyon." Ana says as she walks into the bedroom while tying her hair into a bun.

"Did she?" I murmur and I sits down on the bed facing me.

"What is wrong, has Elena said something to upset you?"

"No."

"Was it Ros?" She asks and that makes me look up at her.

"I knew you would also want to see her. So, what did she say to you?"

"It's what she didn't say, baby. That Morgan bitch has something on her and Ros would rather spend the rest of her life in jail than to tell me. I mean, hell, after all the shit she has done to us, what could be worse?" I say and Ana sighs.

"Christian, if she doesn't want to tell you, you won't find out. It's that simple. We know that she hasn't stolen money from GEH and if the FBI didn't find something while digging in her past, then maybe we will never find out. Can't we just put this whole ordeal behind us?" I look at Ana and see the hope in her eyes, but I just can't let this go.

"Baby, I want us to leave the past behind too, but I need to find out what she is hiding. I need to know what she is hiding. Call it closure... I don't know. I just need to find out."

We look at each other for a moment and finally, she nods and takes my hands in hers.

"Okay, if Ros is keeping a secret, there is only one person she would have confided in."

"You mean Gwen?"

"Yes, while Ros cheated on her, they lived together for almost 15 years. If anyone knows all of her secrets then it's Gwen. How about I call her tomorrow and we invite her over for brunch on Saturday, Elliot and Kate want to take Chrissie to the zoo, so we can talk in private to her."

"Yes, if you can arrange that, I would be really grateful."

"Consider it done, Boss." She says to lighten my mood and it actually makes me smile.

"See, in the end I got you to work for me after all." I reply smugly and she smiles.

"Oh, I don't know, Mr. Grey... I like to think that I am not working for you, but with you." She says with a warm smile.

"That you do... and I hope you will continue to do so." I say and she kisses me.

"Yup, until I'm knocked up, remember we had a deal." She says and kneels on the bed in front of me, where she slowly takes her nightgown off, which in turn takes away all thoughts of Ros immediately...

_**Saturday**_

"I hate it when people are late." I mutter darkly and stare at my wrist watch.

"Relax, I've ask Gwen to be here around ten." Ana says and places a mug of steaming coffee in front of me.

"What the fuck does be there around a certain time mean anyway? That's bullshit, I work with exact times and I hate people being late." I repeat and my wife laughs at me.

"Christian, she is not late, that's why people invite their guests to be there around a certain time. It puts their guests at ease, because they don't have to pressure themselves to be their the second the clock strikes ten or whatever time they've agreed on. It's polite and more so, Gwen is our guest, not a business appointment." She says and I scowl at her. I know she is right, but I'm anxious, I just want to know and I have already been informed by my wife that I can't ask Gwen the second she is through the door.

So now, not only do I have to endure fucking waiting, but also meaningless chit chat.

"Chrissie is not home, you could suck me off until Gwen decides that it is _around _ten." I say and Ana laughs again.

"True, I could, but what if Gwen shows up just when I start, you would act like an angry bear with a sore head all through brunch and Gwen would feel uncomfortable and not give us any answers. Though I'm not opposed to meeting you for a nooner in your study." She says with a flirtatious wink and that lifts my mood considerably.

Finally, a quarter after ten Gwen arrives and since it is sunny day, we decide to have brunch out on the patio. Gwen looks different, she was always a vibrant, bubbly woman, but now she seems very introverted and not her outgoing self at all.

"So, have you made any plans about moving closer to your family?" Ana asks and I immediately notice the nervous twitch in her eye, when Ana mentions her family.

"No, I just can't make up my mind and ... I have been visiting Ros quiet a few times, she regrets what she has done, moving away feels like letting her down." She says.

"You want to wait for her?" Ana asks and it hardly seems fair, Ros is facing up to 25 years in prison, if she loves Gwen, she has to let her go.

"Maybe, we've been through so much... I just don't know if I can truly forgive her. I always thought if she would cheat it's over. Yet, it's much easier to say than do."

"I have been visiting her last week." I offer, wanting to get the information I need now.

"I know, she told me. I guess that is also why I am here." Gwen replies and I nod. Honesty doesn't hurt and maybe she is more forthcoming, if I don't try to bullshit her.

"Look, I appreciate, that you are willing to help, Ros, if she is being honest, but believe me, the truth won't help."

"So, you know what this secret is all about?" I ask and she nods.

"Of course, I know. It's my secret and Elizabeth Morgan will tell it if Ros gets a deal. I hate myself for putting her in this position, but believe me when I say, that once this secret is out there Ros will go to jail either way and so will I. Please, leave it be." She says and I still can't leave it be.

"Gwen, I need to know and you know that I have the means to find out either way. So, you can tell me now or I'll find out on my own. If Elizabeth Morgan could find out, it won't present my team with much trouble to find out too." I say and Ana gives me a look to leave it be, still I can't.

Gwen gets up and I start to feel like shit when she starts to cry, but eventually she starts to speak.

"I am from a very strict family and they would have never accepted that I am a lesbian. I dreamed of leaving my hometown behind and living a life where I didn't have to hide. So, I decided to leave, but I had very little money and no idea where to go. I worked at a local diner and met a man. He promised me to get me out of there and I liked him, so I agreed. We got married and left my hometown. We moved close to Seattle and at first everything was great. It wasn't a real marriage and for the first time I could go out and mingle with like minded people. I thought all of my dreams had come true, but my life soon turned into a nightmare. When I met Ros, I knew I wanted to be with her, but husband suddenly didn't agree to get a divorce. He... he raped me and beat me up, wouldn't allow me to leave the house and basically held me hostage in my own home. When he wasn't there he would leave me gagged and tied up in the basement. I knew I would never get away, never see Ros again, so I came up with a plan. I waited until he fell asleep in front of the TV and grabbed a knife. I slashed his throat and watched him die. After that I called Ros and she helped me get rid of his body.

I changed my name, changed my hairstyle and overall style and became a new person. Ros and I agree to never tell anyone. His body was never found and my family didn't look for me. They probably thought I left my husband and forgot all about me."

"Why didn't you just leave when he fell asleep?" Ana asks horrified.

"I knew he would find me, he wasn't the kind of guy to just give up. I was young and stupid and so very desperate. I understand if you will call the police, but I just needed you two to understand that Ros didn't just betrayed you, because she is a bad person. She did it to protect me and she choose not to tell you, because all it would do was to get her punished for a different crime and me too. I will leave now and no, I'm not going to leave town, if that's what you think. Seattle is the only home I have." Gwen says and leaves while Ana and I stare at each other.

"Christian please don't..." I hold my hands up and run them through my hair next.

"I won't. I will ask Welch to confirm her story. If it's true, I will ask my father to cash in some favors, so the judges will go easy on Ros."

"What about Gwen, oh my God, she murdered her husband... I can't imagine to report her, but it's the right thing to do." Ana says clearly as torn as I am. If what Gwen told us is the truth, then killing that son of a bitch is not a great loss to the world, but still she could have left him or get help... Jesus, I should have listened to Ana and just stopped digging right away... what the hell am I going to do now?

_**Ladies... now it's up to you, I'm a little torn so I leave the choice up to all of you. Do you want Ana and Christian to report what Gwen has just told them or do you want them to leave it be and move on?**_

_**An update for Seduction will follow by the end of the week and I hope to update The Mile High Club by then as well, though I'm still stuck with the chapter... so I can't make promises...**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Christian - 3 months later -**_

The last three months have been quite eventful. I had Welch dig into Gwen's past to see what her story was all about and how that Morgan bitch managed to find out. She didn't try to hide her past very well. All she did was changing using her middle name and maiden name instead of her first name and the name of her husband.

Speaking of her husband. The world is a better place without him. He was married three times before Gwen and all of his wives just disappeared at one point. The police tried to fin evidence against him, but they were out of luck. Gwen was lucky, still in the end she couldn't live with herself and the fact that Ros was not making a deal because of her.

Before Ana and I had the chance to talk to her again, she went to the police and confessed. His body was found were she said it would be, but my Dad talked to D.A. and in the end she wasn't charged. Her story and the fact that he has most likely murdered three women before, in addition to the fact that the guy was known as aggressive and had even spent some time in jail for beating his high school sweetheart half to death were enough to say that even after all those years she has acted in self defense.

Her confession was what made Ros make a deal with the district attorney. She will have to go to jail for five years, but has the change to get out after two years in exchange for her acting as key witness against Elizabeth Morgan. I can't say I can forgive Ros, she had so many changes to do the right thing, but I sent her a letter, letting her know that as long as she doesn't try to contact me ever again, I won't go after her and make things more difficult for her once she has been released from prison.

Gwen has told Ana, that she will wait for Ros and that they have plans to leave the country and start over somewhere else as soon as Ros has been released and is cleared to leave the country. In some ways I admire Gwen, she forgave Ros that she has cheated on her and just wants to move on. So, I made sure Gwen is well taken care of for as long as Ros is in jail. She doesn't need to worry about more shit than she has already on her plate and had to live through in her life.

"Sir, here is the contract that needs to be revised." Andrea announces and places it in front of me on my desk.

"You can also find the file on your computer. Can I get you anything, Sir?"

"No, thank you, Andrea." I dismiss her and take a look at the contract.

Fuck, this fucking contract is going to keep me in the office all evening and it's not even afternoon now. I should have taken Ana up on her offer to help me with it, but if I don't want her to think that it is too much for me, if she stays home with Chrissie for a day, I can't take her up on her offer. _Oh who the fuck am I kidding? _

It's not too much for me, I'm just not as driven to succeed as I once was. What I really want to do is to go home, spend the day with Ana and Chrissie and after that fuck Ana until neither of us can move... _now that sounds like a perfect day to me. _

Sadly though, I know that it won't be happening today. Damn it, I need to find a new COO, one I can trust to take care of things here, so I'm able to work from home most of the time.

After my lunch break and a quick phone call with Ana I resume my work, hoping that I might be able to sort this shit out early, so I won't miss dinner with my girls. I know Ana told me it would be fine, but I don't want to be the kind of Dad who leaves the house before the kids get up and returns long after they are in bed.

It would be different if we still needed the money, but Ana and I have more than we or even our grandchildren and their children will ever be able to spend. _Fuck, enough of the musing Grey! Get this shit done!_

Two hours later I'm rather pleased with myself, because I'm making good progress and so I scowl when my phone rings, but the scowl turns into a smile when I see Ana's pictures on the screen.

"Hey baby." The smile on my face dies the second I hear my daughter crying... I have never heard her cry like that and I am on my feet in a second.

"Chrissie, what is happening, talk to me sweetheart." I plead all the while I am out of office and on my way to the elevator so fast that Taylor who has stepped out of his office to see what the sudden fuss is about can barely keep up.

"Da-daddy... mommy... mommy won't wake up." Chrissie sobs and my heart nearly stops. _No! No, no, no!_

"Chrissie where is mommy, what happened?"

"Mommy fell and she is on the floor and there is blood coming from her head and I can't wake her up." Chrissie cries hysterically and I feel like I'm about to pass out.

"Chrissie where are Gail and Luke?"

"They left for shopping." She sobs. Fuck no, Ryan is out of town to visit his family and Reynolds has called in sick this morning. _Okay Grey, take control, now!_

"Okay, sweetheart you have to listen to me carefully. I want you to put your cheek near to mommy's mouth and nose and then tell me if you can feel her breath against your skin."

"I feel it, Daddy." She sniffles after a second and I sigh in relief.

"That is good sweetheart. Now tell me is there a lot of blood and if so can you see where it is coming from."

"I see it, Daddy."

"Perfect, now I want you to get a clean towel and press it against where the blood comes from, can you do that for me, sweetheart?"

I don't hear an reply, but her little footsteps running around. Taylor who has already figured out what is happening is on the phone calling an ambulance and I realize that they won't get in as there is no one to open the gate.

"Daddy?"

"I'm here, sweetheart, do you have the towel."

"Uh-huh... Daddy is mommy going to heaven now, because I want to keep my mommy." She sobs.

"No, mommy is not going anywhere, I promise and I'm on my way, but there is one more thing I need you to do, Chrissie. Uncle Jason has called someone to help mommy. When you hear the doorbell, I want you to go into Uncle Jason's office and look at the screen where you can see the front gate. If you see an ambulance, you know the big cars with the lights on top of them. If you see one of these, I want you to push the big blue button which opens the gate and then you have to open the front door and go back to mommy."

"Okay... Daddy I'm scared." She sniffs and I'm sure I have never felt this helpless in my life.

"Don't be scared, Chrissie, you are doing great. You've done everything right and I'll stay on the phone with you until I arrive home. You're my brave little girl, please don't be scared."

While I am talking to Chrissie I have to fight back the memories of my four year old self all alone in an dirty apartment with my dead mother lying on the floor... _Oh god, please let Ana be okay. _

The next thirty minutes are the most agonizing of all my life. Taylor is driving like a man possessed. I know that the ambulance has finally arrived, but these strangers attending to her mother have scared Chrissie even more, because she is crying again and when we finally reach the house I jump out of the car before it has even fully stopped and run into the house where Ana is just being put on a stretcher while another paramedic is holding my almost hysterical daughter.

I take her in my arms immediately and rush after Ana and the paramedics.

"Hush, darling, it's alright, Daddy is here now." I whisper against her little ear and rub her back which seems to calm her down just a little.

"Where are you taking my wife, what is wrong with her?"

"We don't know yet, Sir. Your wife was unresponsive when we arrived and her blood pressure is too low, we are taking her to MidWest Hospital."

"Can we ride with her?"

"No, Sir, the doctor has to go in the back with her." The paramedic explains before he rushes after his colleagues.

I rush after them and get into the car with, Chrissie. Usually I would insist for Taylor to swap vehicles so we have a car seat for her, but Chrissie is still so upset that I don't want to risk letting go of her and instead Taylor starts to drive behind the ambulance while I fish my phone out of my pocket.

After what feels like ages I manage to dial my mother and put her on speaker.

"Hello darling." She greets me.

"Mom, are you at work?"

"I'm just about leave, why?"

"I need you to go to the ER and wait there for me. They paramedics are bringing Ana in. Chrissie and I are following behind."

"What? I don't understand what happened to Ana?"

"I don't know, Mom. She was alone at home with Chrissie, she must have fallen and landed on her head. The paramedics said her blood pressure is very low and she is still unconscious, can you please meet us there, Mom." I say and voice nearly breaks. _Please god, don't take my wife away from me._

At the hospital I can only watch as Ana is taken into a room, while Chrissie and I have to wait outside. My only comfort at the moment is that my mother is with her.

"I want my mommy." Chrissie sniffles as I sit down with her in my lap.

"I know sweetheart, but the doctors have to make sure that mommy is fine, first." I try to console her, but her lower lip starts to tremble and before I have time to react my daughter starts to throw a temper tantrum unlike anything I have ever seen before. She is screaming like banshee, kicking her legs and pounding her little fists against my chest. She is making such a spectacle that people stop in their tracks to stare at us and after second of being shocked about my daughter's outburst I had enough.

"Christian Grace, stop it now or I'll have Taylor drive you home immediately." I snap at her and raise my voice so she can hear me over her screaming.

Her little mouth snaps shut in the middle of all the screaming and she stares at me stunned. Taking a handkerchief from my pocket, I wipe her snotty nose and tearstained checks, trying to keep my own temper in check. Shit, I have never yelled at my daughter before and looking at her sad little face I'm already regretting it, but I'll be damned if I allow her to behave like that.

"Taylor, I'm taking Chrissie to the cafeteria, please inform me as soon as there are any news on, Ana." I mutter and start to walk away with Chrissie, who is still sniffling and all the while she is sucking on her thumb, which I have never seen before. I would like to tell her to stop, but it seems to be comforting her, so I decide to let it go for now.

Sitting down with her at a table, she doesn't even look at me and seems to be pouting.

"Chrissie, look at me." I say gently, but she shakes her head stubbornly.

"Look Chrissie, I didn't mean to yell at you, but you can't behave the way you did, especially in a hospital. Some people here are very sick and need rest." I try to explain.

"Is mommy very sick?" She asks quietly.

"I don't know, but your Grammy is with her and makes sure she will be fine."

"It's my fault." She whispers barely audible and I lift her little chin with one finger, so I can look at her face.

"Why would you say that?"

"Mommy was napping and I was hungry and asked her to get up. Mommy was sick all morning and then she fell, because I didn't let her nap." Chrissie tells me sadly and I hug her and kiss the top of her head.

"It's not your fault, sweetheart. Mommy wasn't well, that's why she fell. Don't think like that. Are you still hungry?" I ask and she nods again.

"Okay, come we go look what they have, I don't want you to be hungry."

After buying some cut fruit and crackers for Chrissie, we sit back down and wait. I continue to check my watch every five minutes and get more and more anxious. Fuck, that's not good, it wouldn't take this long if it was just a stomach bug or the flu.

I'm just about ready to storm back into the ER and demand answer when my mother comes into the cafeteria and to my surprise she is smiling brightly.

"Mom, where is Ana? Is she awake? Can I see her? How bad is it, please don't lie to me."

"Christian, darling, please relax. Ana is awake, she just had a MRI, which is why it took some time before I could come and get you. She has a cut on the back of her head, which has already been stitched and she has a mild concussion from the fall, which is why we want to keep her over night. Everything else... well why don't you go see her, I've asked her doctor to wait until you are there. Go darling, I'll stay with Chrissie and we will join you in a bit."

"Okay, be a good girl for Grammy." I tell Chrissie and hurry back to the ER where Taylor directs me to one of the rooms. Inside Ana is lying propped up on a cot and a young female Doctor is with her.

"Ana! Oh my God, you scared me, baby. How are you?" I ask and kiss her.

"I'm fine, my head hurts a little and I'm still nauseous. How is Chrissie, I must have scared her so much, is she here?"

"Yes, she is fine. You can see her in a bit. Why are you nauseous?" I ask and she bites her lip.

"Well, I haven't been told yet, but I think I know." She says and a little smile plays around her lips. First my mother and now Ana... why is everyone smiling, come to think of it, the doctor is smiling too. What the fuck is going on here.

"Dr..."

"Amber Lloyd, you are Mrs. Grey's husband?"

"Yes, what is wrong with my wife? Why is she nauseous?"

"Well, Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, we have found a little something while examining you." She says. Little something? Shit is she talking about tumor, like cancer? Suddenly I feel faint and sit on the chair next to Ana's cot.

"Are you alright, Mr. Grey. Do you want me to get you a water?" The doctor asks, but I shake my head.

"Just tell us what did you find?" I demand... we can deal with this, I can hire the best doctors, Ana is young and strong... we'll get through this.

"I guess then it's my pleasure to congratulate you, you are pregnant, from what I could see on the scan I'd say very newly pregnant just four to five weeks." She says and I stare at her. She is still talking but all I here is my own rapid heartbeat. Fuck me, we did it, Ana is pregnant... we are having another baby!

"Christian... Christian are you alright?" Ana's worried voice comes through to me and I look at her.

"Sorry... I ... wow, we are having a baby... you need to rest. Right doctor?"

"Well, as I was just saying, your wife had a high risk pregnancy before and while this doesn't mean that this pregnancy has to be a high risk pregnancy as well, I would highly recommend for your wife to take things slow, see her doctor regularly and try to rest as much as possible. We can give her medication to help her with the nausea, but regular check ups are mandatory for your wife. For now, she cannot return to work or do any heavy lifting or exhausting chores around the house. Still, what we don't want for your wife is to lie down all day, being active is very important for pregnant women. There are even studies which prove that women who are active and exercises or take long walks throughout their pregnancy deliver more easily than woman who had to be on bed rest or treat themselves as if they are sick and not pregnant." She says and I make a mental note to find a personal trainer for Ana who can help her to come up with a workout that is not too much and healthy for pregnant women.

"What if there are any complications?" I ask.

"Mr. Grey, I do understand that you are worried, but as of now we have no indication for any complications. If they occur, your wife's doctor will know what to do, but I recommend not to worry too much, it will stress both of you which is not good for your wife."

Not worry too much... it's clear the good doctor doesn't know me, I fear I will become my wife's worst nightmare during the this pregnancy.

"What about food, should I make sure that she eats like... I don't know a snack each our of the day?" I ask and to say I am not amused when both Ana and Dr. Lloyd start to giggle would be an understatement.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Grey your wife has to stay away from certain foods, but she doesn't have to eat enormous amounts of food. Has someone explained to you what pregnancy cravings are or more so why women experience these things?" She asks and I shake my head.

"During a pregnancy the body needs the right amount of nutrition, if the body lacks iron or protein for example, the body sends a signal to the brain which results in certain cravings. That is why I advise my patients not to deny themselves those cravings and to write them down for me, so I know if my patients need a higher those of iron or vitamins for example. However, I don't advise to eat more than the three main meals and maybe one or two light snacks throughout the day. Women are supposed to gain weight during the pregnancy, but it can lead to complications like diabetes or high birth weight of the child, which often results in a c-section. I will get you some brochures about healthy eating during pregnancy once your wife is in her suite."

I nod and think of what else I could ask her, but there is a soft knock at the door and my mother comes in with Chrissie.

"MOMMY!" Chrissie squeals and wants to jump on the cot, but I quickly pick her up and place her gently in Ana's outstretched arms.

"Hey, don't cry, babygirl, mommy is fine, it's just an upset stomach, nothing bad." Ana says and frown, why isn't she telling Chrissie the truth, it's great news.

Two hours later I am alone with Ana in a hospital suite and watch her eat rice cracker.

"We need to stock up on them, with Chrissie they were all I could keep down while I had morning sickness." She says and I gape at her.

"What? Nothing else, these fucking cracker are as nutritious as a paper towel."

"Relax, it won't last long... are you happy?" She asks then.

"Happy, ecstatic and scared shitless." I reply honestly and Ana giggles.

"You will be a wonderful father to our baby, Christian, just like you are to our daughter."

"I yelled at her today. She was throwing a fit and I lost it and yelled at her to stop." I confess.

"So, you finally experienced a Chrissie Grey full blown temper tantrum."

"She was like a wild animal, Ana!"

"I'm sure she was and I'm sure this little one in here will have temper tantrums from time to time too. But that's all part of being a child." She says and I sit down on the edge of her bed.

"How is your head?"

"Better... so do you want this little one to be a girl or a boy?" She asks and I try to keep my facial expression as neutral as possible.

"I want our baby to be healthy... everything else doesn't matter." I say and Ana laughs.

"So you want a boy." She says then.

"You know, I was once known for having a great poker face." I laugh. "But yes, I would love for us to have a son. It's not that I can't go fishing or play soccer with Chrissie, but one day she will get into all of that girl shit I know nothing about and a bit later I will have to fight off all the little fuckers who want to date her or worse get into her panties." I mutter darkly and now Ana is laughing at me.

"You do realize that if we have a son, he will eventually grow up to date and have sex too?"

"Ana... I'm fully aware that I am going to sound like a caveman now, but my son can have as much sex as he wants, my daughter however not."

"You know right now, I hope we have at least six kids... all girls." Ana teases and the thought makes me swallow audibly.

"Six girls, eh? I hope you are not fond of gripping my hair during sex, because if we have six girls I will be bald by the time the all have graduated." I reply and it earns me Ana's beautiful giggle.

"Maybe we should have a boy then... one who looks just like his Daddy." She says and the thought makes me smile. No matter if we are having a boy or a girl, one thing is fore sure, this time I won't miss a second of Ana's pregnancy, the birth or the life of my child...

_**So, we have Blip #2 on the way and since Christian didn't get to experience being with a pregnant woman before, I thought it's going to be fun to add a couple of chapters with him adjusting to all the ups and downs that come with being pregnant/being with someone who is pregnant. After that we have the birth of Baby Grey and the epilog. I will try to update more often as I have a little more time next week and I want to finish this story and The Mile High Club within the next three weeks, because keeping up with four stories and real life is just too much... **_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Ana**_

I turn in my sleep and reach for Christian, because I'm cold without being in his embrace, but when I reach for him there is nothing. I open my eyes and I am momentarily disoriented until I realize that I am at Escala. Sitting up I look at myself and notice that I am dressed in one of Christian's t-shirts. In the half asleep state I am in, I start to think that it has just been dream; I have spent so many nights here, dressed in his t-shirts wishing he would come back to me that tears start to form in my eyes. I jump out of bed and hurry into the great room, but it's empty. My heart starts to pound and the fear that it really just was a dream is nearly overwhelming.

With shaking hands I open the door to his study and find him sitting behind his desk where he is reading.

"Baby, it's the middle of the night, why are you up? You need to rest." He says and damn these pregnancy hormones I start to cry.

"Ana, what is wrong?" Christian says and gets up. I wrap my arms around him and quietly sob against his chest.

"I... I woke up and you weren't there and I ... I thought it was all just a dream... that you never came back to me." I confess a little embarrassed and he kisses me.

"I'm here; baby and I will never leave you alone again. Come, let's get you back into bed, you know the doctor has said you need to rest."

"Why are we at Escala?" I ask and he looks at me oddly.

"Don't you remember?" He asks concerned and that's when I do remember. Christian picked me up at the hospital late this afternoon, after the doctor told me I was good to go and not even three minutes into the car ride I got violently sick and threw up all over the foot space of the car.

"It's coming back... sorry about the car." I mutter sheepishly and he grins.

"Wasn't my car... though I might have spanked you had you vomited all over my R8." he jokes.

"Not funny, I don't understand why it's called morning sickness anyway; I get sick at all hours of the day without any warning. Maybe I should shove a watch inside me so the baby can check the time before it gives me morning sickness." I say and Christian starts to laugh at me.

"Hey! I don't like it when you laugh at me." I pout and he kisses my pursed lips.

"Why are you up anyway?" I ask and now it's his turn to give me a sheepish look.

"I was reading." He says and tries to shove the books out of my view. I stop him and start to laugh when I see books with titles like _Dude, you're gonna be a Dad! , My Boys Can Swim - A Guys Guide to Pregnancy, Pregnancy for Men or What To Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding. _

"Oh my gosh, that's great where did you get these?" I ask still giggling.

"Elliot." He says and I roll my eyes. Of course he would buy the most ridiculous books for his brother.

"Oh Ana, one day your eye rolling will get you in trouble." Christian muses.

"I was hoping it would get me laid right now."

"No, absolutely not. You still need lots of rest and you still have stitches in your head. No sex for you, Mrs. Grey."

"Well, you better don't have sex without me either, Mr. Grey." I say feigning to be serious and he snorts.

"Come, let's go to bed, you need to rest."

"Actually, I'm kind of hungry, let's see what's here." I say and soon we sit at the breakfast bar eating sandwiches Christian has made for us.

"Do you think we should tell Chrissie that she is going to be a big sister when we go home?" He asks and I think about it for a second.

"Actually, I would like to wait for a few more days. I don't want her to think it's the baby's fault that I passed out."

"I guess you're right and I was thinking, Chrissie reacted great, if it wasn't for her things could have ended very differently. So, how about we do something special?"

"Sounds good, do you have something in mind?"

"She told me a couple of weeks ago that she wants to go to Disneyland. We could ask Elliot and Kate to come along, so little Elliot and Chrissie can spend more time together."

"Disneyland... yes please!" I say with the biggest smile on my face.

"Are you into Mickey Mouse, Mrs. Grey?" He asks amused.

"Actually I like Goofy and Winnie the Pooh even more, but I remember when I was about ten my Dad took me there and it is one of my fondest childhood memories."

"Well, then it's set... but no rollercoaster or other crazy rides for you."

"I know, but I can still fly with Dumbo and go for a teacup ride... oh and it's a small world... have you been it's so adorable all the little puppets and the song. _It's a small world da da da it's a small world da da da..._" I sing and he laughs.

"Alright, I guess I need to do some research on the rides obviously. I was there once, but... well... never mind." He says and looks deep in thoughts.

"You didn't enjoy it?" I ask and he sighs.

"I was about seven. Mia was a baby and Elliot about nine. He had a blast, but it was hell for me. All these people dressed up as Disney characters... I loved Pluto and the Chipmunks and when I saw them I was so fucking excited... one of them wanted to hug me for a picture and I had a panic attack. My parents barely knew how to handle it, they couldn't just grab me to get me inside and people were staring and closing in on us to see what the fuss is about. I've spent the rest of the trip in our room too afraid to leave it and my Dad stayed with me. I remember looking out of the window of the hotel room seeing all the kids running around having fun and I knew I would never be like them." He says and I get up and hug him.

"We don't have to go..."

"Yes, we do have to go. I'm not that scared boy anymore and I want to experience all the things I have missed out on now that I can."

"Good and I will make sure to find the first chipmunk that comes our way to pose for a picture with us."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

We arrive back home at nine in the morning and I'm so happy to be home, even though I was only gone for two nights, that I would love to fall to my knees and kiss the floor.

"Mommy!" Chrissie squeals and comes running into the entrance hall, but Christian catches her before she can jump me.

"Chrissie you have to be gentle with Mommy, she still needs a lot of rest, come we make Mommy sit in the living room, then you can say hi to mommy." He says and carries Chrissie into the living room while watching me

I expect Chrissie to shoot up a million questions and to just be her bubbly self when I sit down on the sofa and Christian places her in my lap, but she surprises me by just wrapping her arms around me and snuggling into me. After a moment I notice she is sniffling and so I look at her little face and see that is crying.

"Don't cry, darling. Did mommy scare you?" I ask and she nods.

"I'm sorry, but I promise you mommy is fine now, you don't have to worry about me and I'm so proud of you, because you helped me like a big girl when you called your daddy."

"Please don't go away, Mommy." She sniffs and my heart breaks a little.

"I'm not going anywhere, so you don't have to worry about me. Sometimes even mommies and daddies get a little sick, but that doesn't mean we go away, ok?"

She gives me a small nod again, but it's clear that she is still worried about me, so I decide to come up with something to cheer her up a little bit.

"You know, mommy doesn't have to work today, so I thought, you and I could just snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie together... maybe we are even lucky enough to have Gail bring us each a bowl of ice cream and some cookies. Would you like that?"

"Can we watch Frozen?" She asks with a tiny smile.

"Sure, anything you want."

"Daddy has to watch too." She demands and so ten minutes later, each of us has a bowl of ice cream, there is a plate with cookies and three glasses with milk on the table, and we are all snuggled up under a blanket watching the movie.

"Why does her ice cream look like a chewed up rainbow?" Christian whispered into my ear and I giggle.

"It's bubble gum, marshmallow and mint flavor all mixed together it's gross, but she loves it." I whisper back. Actually, I'm also wondering why it has to be bright blue, pink and green but as long as I don't have to eat it...

"Want to try mommy?" Chrissie asks and holds a spoonful of her ice cream under my nose. I try to fight it, but as soon as the sickeningly sweet scent hits my nostrils I feel a wave of nausea hit me and jump of the sofa to make a run for the bathroom.

When I'm done, I see Christian behind me and Chrissie is standing at the entrance of the bathroom in tears again. I get up and quickly use some mouthwash, before I kneel in front of Chrissie.

"Don't cry darling, mommy is fine."

"No you're not... please don't go away mommy." She sobs and I decide to tell her what is going on right in this moment.

"Come, let's sit down again." Taking her hand in mine, I lead her into the living room, pause the movie and sit down with her.

"Do you remember when you asked Daddy and me if you could have a little brother or sister?"

"Uh-huh... but I never asked for a sister, I want a little brother." She says and I smile.

"Well, it's not like we can pick, darling. Anyway... your Daddy and I talked about it and we liked the idea so much, that in eight months from now, you are going to be a big sister." I tell her and eyes grow wide.

"Really?"

"Yes, here... that's where your little sister or brother is right now." I tell her and place her tiny hands on my belly.

"How did it get in there mommy?" She asks and I have to fight the urge to laugh when I here Christian's horrified gasp behind me.

"Well... Daddy put it in there." I tell her.

"Ana!" Christian hisses into my ear, but I ignore him, it's not like I'm telling her all about sex.

"How?" Chrissie wants to know and I look up at Christian who looks as if he's about to pass out.

"He gave me an extra special hug, one that is only for mommies and daddies when they are alone."

"Can I have a baby if I get an extra special hug?" She asks after a moment.

"No, you have to be grown up for that."

"And married, so maybe when you're forty." Christian adds and this time I do giggle.

"So, what I want to tell you is, that because the baby is growing in my belly, my body has a lot of work to do, so the baby will be all ready to be born in eight months and that is why mommy might get a little sick sometimes or feel a bit dizzy, but it's nothing to worry about, because that is normal."

"Have you been sick when I was in your belly, mommy?"

"Yes, sometimes."

"Did I make you fall on your head too?" She wants to know next.

"No, but you made me pee my pants at least twice when you were kicking and dancing in my belly." I confess and finally I am rewarded with her beautiful giggling.

"That's better. Now, why don't we finish the movie?"

"Okay, but mommy how does daddy give you an extra special hug?" She asks and I look at Christian who looks about ready to pass out.

"How about I tell you all about that once you are old enough to get one?" I ask and she looks thoughtful for a moment.

"Okay, can I have a cookie mommy?"

"Sure." And with that we are off the topic and continue to watch the movie.

In the evening long after Chrissie is asleep, Christian and I are in bed and though I have tried everything to seduce him, he is not giving in.

"Don't pout, baby. Just a few more days, ok? I'm worried about your stitches and you've been sick twice already." He says and even though I know he is right, I still can't help but pout.

I'm just about to say something when there is a tiny knock at our bedroom door.

"Mommy, Daddy are you hugging?" Chrissie calls out and I have to laugh.

"Jesus, we will never live this down, you know that right?" Christian grumbles and gets up to let her in.

"Hey princess, why are you up, it's late." He asks and picks her up.

"I have something for my little brother, daddy." She explains and holds a stuffed teddy in his face.

"Wow, for your baby sibling?" He asks and she nods.

"It's special, pull daddy." She says and he pulls at the threads in the back and room is filled with the sounds of a beautiful lullaby. Mia bought the teddy bear for Chrissie when she was just two days old and she still loves to listen to the lullaby from time to time when it's bedtime or naptime.

"Wow, that is an amazing gift, sweetheart. Come; let's show it to your little brother or sister." Christian says and comes back into the bed with her. Chrissie crawls over to me and places the teddy on my belly. It's such a sweet gesture that I have to fight back tears.

"Mommy, what's the baby's name?" She asks after a moment.

"Well, the baby doesn't have a name yet, we have to find out if it's a boy or a girl first." Christian explains.

"It's a boy." Chrissie murmurs sleepily and before either of us can say anything she is sound asleep.

"I'll carry her to her room." Christian says but I stop him.

"Let her stay here."

"Are you sure? What if one of us rolls over and she suffocates?" He asks alarmed and I roll my eyes.

"Christian, believe me, it's not going to happen. Good night." I lean over to kiss him and switch the light on my nightstand off.

Chrissie is going to be a great big sister and this baby will be even more blessed, because he or she will have his daddy around right from the start...

* * *

_**Sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter out... there will be at least one more chapter until the end of the month...**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Happy New Year! I hope all you had a great Holiday Season! **_

* * *

_**Christian**_

I wake and the room is pitch black. A quick glance at the radio alarm tells me that it is just after three in the morning. I frown, why the hell am I awake at this time? And that's when I hear it. A sound as if someone was munching on something. _Fuck, do we have rodents? _Next I hear a noise as if someone was trying to squeeze the very last bit of its contents out of a squeezable bottle. _Either that or the books weren't lying about women becoming gassy through out their pregnancies..._

I look at Ana and notice that not even her head is poking out from underneath the covers and from the movement underneath the covers I'm sure she is awake. I switch on my bedside light and pull the covers back revealing my wife hugging a bowl of popcorn to herself which is literally swimming in caramel syrup.

"Hi... did I wake you up? I was trying to be extra quiet." She says clearly embarrassed that I have caught her during her nocturnal feast.

"Hungry?" I ask amused and she smiles shyly.

"Well, you enjoy your popcorn, I'll go back to sleep." I lean over to kiss her and nearly get stuck to her mouth because of all the syrup she already had with her popcorn.

Turning on my back again I switch the light off and but can't go back to sleep due to my wife munching popcorn in bed.

"Christian?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still awake?" She asks and I roll my eyes.

"No, I always talk in my sleep."

"I'm thirsty." _Well, no shit, you've probably just given yourself diabetes too with all that sugar in the syrup. _

"Here." I hold my glass of water out to her.

"No, I really want some apple juice. Can you please get me a glass of apple juice, I'm too comfy to get up."

"Sure." I mutter and get up.

"Um... Christian, you might want to put some clothes on." She giggles and I look down at myself. _Yup, just wearing my birthday suit. _

Dutifully, I throw a pair of pj bottoms on and make my way into the kitchen. Three minutes later I hand her a glass of apple juice, but she just stares at it.

"You did say apple juice, right?" I ask when she just stares at it.

"Yes... it's just you forgot to put ice in it. I only like apple juice when it's really cold."

"It was in the fridge." I argue.

"It's not cold enough." She replies and looks at me with those huge blue orbs.

"I'll get you ice." I mutter take the glass back and make my way back to the kitchen.

Ana is in her second trimester now. All the nausea and dizzy spells have finally ended and she is feeling great. Though for the last couple of days she has started to crave weird foods or asked Gail to cook a specific dish only to not touch it at all by the time it was ready. I had to remind myself that it's the pregnancy that makes her do these things, because today she wanted to eat turkey, like a real fucking thanksgiving dinner turkey. Gail cooked up a storm and by the time dinner came around she told me she couldn't even look at the turkey.

Thank God for the security guys. Between all of us we might only have to eat turkey sandwiches for five days in a row to finish the fucking bird... _or I call Elliot and tell him it's all you can eat turkey day at my house..._

Once Ana has her apple juice with ice she gulps it down in record speed.

"OW! Why did you put so much ice in it, it gave me brain freeze." She whines and I wisely decide to say nothing and kiss her temple instead, before I lay down again, while she continues to munch her soggy popcorn.

"Christian?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still up?" She asks and I answer by starting to laugh... this is ridiculous.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry, baby."

"I can't eat my popcorn." She says.

"Why?"

"All the syrup is at the bottom of the bowl now and it's too soggy. Can you get me a spoon?"

I throw the covers back again and like the loving husband I am make my way to the kitchen again to get her a spoon.

Once my wife is happily spooning her mushy popcorn I get back into bed and I'm just about to fall asleep when I hear it again.

"Christian?"

"Yes?"

"Are you still awake?"

"What do you need?" I ask surrendering to the fact that I won't get anymore sleep.

"All the syrup has made me thirsty again." She whispers.

"Apple juice with ice?"

"No, water with a slice of lime."

"Ice?"

"Just two cubes. Thanks." She says and I get downstairs again.

"Sir, is everything alright?" I hear Reynolds behind me who has the nightshift.

"Yes, my wife is just having some cravings." I let him know, he smirks at me and heads back into the security office.

Back upstairs I hand Ana her glass of water with two ice cubes and a slice of lime, before I get back into the bed and fall asleep this time without Ana asking me to get her something.

In my sleep I feel something really close to my face and try to swat it away.

"OUCH!" Hearing Ana's squeal I'm awake in an instant and sit up.

"What happened baby?" I ask while she is holding her nose.

"I wanted to see if you are asleep and you poked your finger in my nose... ewww!" She giggles and I give up and get out of bed.

"What do you need from the kitchen?" I ask.

"Nothing, I'm good thank you." She says and I frown.

"Why did you want to see if I am awake then?"

"Well... I can't sleep... I guess all the sugar is keeping me up and I thought maybe if you are awake we can burn of some energy together." She says with a slight blush to her face and my dick starts to stir... well, he seems to be happy that be woken up in the middle of the night for a quickie and when I look at my wife who is biting her lip I unceremoniously drop my pants to the floor and crawl into bed.

"So, you want to have sex, Mrs. Grey?" I ask with a smirk on my face and she nods while still chewing on that delectable bottom lip of hers.

"Stand up and strip for me, baby." I whisper and kiss her temple. She gets out of bed in double quick time and looks at me for a moment.

Slowly she takes her camisole off, exposing her full breast to my view. Fuck, she has gained a full cup-size over the past two months and my fingers are itching to play with her tits whenever she is within reaching distance.

"Your shorts... take them off, baby." I order and she soon the pool at her feet and she steps out of them. I motion for her to move closer and sit on the edge of the bed. Ana moves closer and comes to an halt between my legs.

"Shit Ana, your tits look amazing." I mutter in appreciation and nuzzle my face into her full breasts. Damn, I really need to fuck them one day soon. For now though I settle for sucking and nibbling each of her nipples until she moans and her fingers are fisting in my hair.

Without breaking our contact, I manage to get her into the bed and let my hand travel down her belly until I reach my goal.

"So wet, baby... I like that a lot. Do you like it when I play with your nipples?"

"Yes... but I was also thinking about covering you in syrup and sucking it off of you." She moans as I start to circle her clit with my thumb.

"We can do that another day... you had enough sugar for one night." I chuckle. _Christ, this pregnancy sure has some interesting side effects. _

Feeling how wet she is and her sexy little moans while I continue to play with her nipples and clit makes my cock painfully hard, I push one finger inside her and Ana starts to move her hips. Pushing a second finger inside her, I start to move them quickly, making sure to hit her g-spot each time I thrust them back inside of her.

"Christian... I need you." Ana softly moans when start to rub her clit harder and look at her. _Fuck, she is so god damn sexy and all mine. _

I stop fucking her with my fingers and open her legs wider.

"Can you lay like that baby?" I ask and she nods. Lately, she sometimes doesn't feel good while lying on her back for too long and knowing what she has eaten earlier I don't want her to get sick now. Right now, all I want is to bury myself in her and fuck her until neither of us can move.

Moving between her legs, I push the head of my erection inside her and revel in the feel of her, before I slowly push deeper into her until I'm balls deep buried inside of my sexy as hell wife. Her fingernails rake over my back until she digs them into my ass urging me to move.

Starting out with a slow, teasing rhythm I move in and out of her, while she is bucking her hips beneath me trying to get me to move faster and deeper.

"Christian... faster... please." She cries, but I want to make this last a bit longer, knowing that as soon as her hot, wet pussy starts to clench around me I won't manage to last much longer.

"All in good time, baby." I whisper against her ear, gently bite her earlobe and smirk when her nails are digging deeper into my buttocks even though it's a pointless attempt to get what she wants.

"Christian... please... oh god... I need you to move faster..." She begs and I look at her thrashing beneath me, her hair all tangled, cheeks flushed and nothing but desire and lust in her eyes. _Damn, I'm one lucky son of bitch to marry the most beautiful woman on earth. _

"You want me to fuck you hard, Mrs. Grey?" I ask and sit up between her legs.

"Yes... yes... please!" She mutters in need. I grip her hips, so her ass is suspended in the air and really let go, thrusting deep and hard into her until she is screaming my name and moans so loudly, I'm sure she can be heard in at least one neighboring state, but I love it. Women who are loud during sex never did anything for me, but it's different with Ana, just knowing that I can drive her wild like that is the biggest fucking turn on.

When I feel like I can no longer hold back my pending orgasm I reach between her legs and rub her clit before slightly pinching it, which has Ana reaching her orgasm with a scream and tips me over the edge too.

I gently let go off her hips and pull out of before I flop down on the bed next to her. _Damn, good thing she is on a sugar high, because now I want more!_

After taking a few moments to enjoy my post-orgasmic high and to catch my breath I turn around and can't help but smile, when I see that Ana is curled up on her side and already sound asleep. _Looks like we are going to take a rain check on round number two. _

I pull the covers over both of us and try to fall asleep, but I'm wide awake now and I know there is no chance in hell that I will go back to sleep now. A quick glance at the clock on my nightstand shows me that it is almost half past four am by now. So, I get up and decide to burn off some energy in our home gym.

Around six, Taylor and I go for a run and I mentally go through my schedule for today when it hits me. _It's Thursday!_

Today Ana has her check up with Dr. Green. She is fourteen weeks along and I know I shouldn't get my hopes up too high, but I really hope that we can find out the gender today. Ana says it's too early to tell or at least to give us a definite answer. Still, it would be great if we would find out today.

Around noon I meet with Ana at Dr. Greene's office and we have to wait in the waiting area, which is kind of awkward. I'm the only guy in the waiting area and than there are six other women and the are ogling me as if I'm the juiciest piece of meat on a market display.

"Could that bitch be anymore obvious?" Ana whispers into my ear when one of the women bends over to pick a new magazine from the table in the middle of the room and her ass is nearly in my face.

"Ignore her baby, she probably went through the wrong door when she came in. Christ, I didn't think it was possible to blow tits up like that, but it looks horrible." I whisper back and Ana giggles.

"Mrs. Grey?" We both look up when a young nurse calls us into a room. She asks Ana to change into one of these ugly gown, than proceeds to take her blood pressure, take a blood sample from her finger to measure her blood sugar level and next hands her a small plastic container.

"We need a urine sample, just go through this door to the restroom, Mrs. Grey. After that we need another blood sample and than the technician will be with you for the ultrasound." She explains.

Once Ana has returned from the restroom the nurse takes her weight and draws blood from her before she asks Ana to lie down on the exam table and leave the room.

"Christ, I had no idea there was so much involved in this check up." I mutter and Ana grins.

"It's because I had complications with Chrissie. I guess I also have to go through this." She says and points at a wand at the ultrasound table.

"I thought the ultrasound is made over your belly."

"Yes, but a vaginal ultrasound is clearer." She says and eyes the thing as if it would jump her any second.

"Hello, Mrs. and Mr. Grey, I am Nell, I'm going to make the ultrasound." She says and looks into Ana's file.

"Dr. Greene has advised a vaginal ultrasound for this check up, it's your second pregnancy right?"

"Yes, our daughter is almost four." Ana says and the technician covers Ana with a blanket from the waist down before she pulls the stir ups out and asks Ana to scoot down a bit.

I remain in my position at Ana's head and take her hand, while the technician get's everything ready. As soon as the baby appears on the screen I can't look away, this is my child... _fuck, do not cry, Grey... fucking man up!_

"Can you see if it's a boy or a girl." I ask after she has measured the baby.

"I can try... hmm, I think... let me get Dr. Greene real quick." She says and freezes the picture before she removes the wand and leaves the room after handing Ana a paper towel to clean herself.

I stare at the picture, the baby has it's legs wide open and for a second I'm confused, but then I have to smirk.

"Is the baby... I mean it looks like it is..."

"Pulling on his little dick." I chuckle when Ana stares open mouthed at the screen.

"Christian! Don't say that word when you are talking about our child."

"What do you want me to call it?" I ask amused and she thinks about it for a moment.

"I don't know, something kid friendly like pee-pee." She says and I burst out laughing.

"Baby, I can agree on penis, but no son of mine will ever refer to his dick as a _pee-pee._"

She is just about to reply when Dr. Greene enters the room and looks at the screen.

"Well, this is very early, but as Nell, I am certain that you are having a boy, congratulations!" She says and I lean down to kiss Ana.

_Damn, I'm going to have a son... this is going to be great!_

* * *

_**Next up will be the family trip to Disneyland which I am really looking forward to write ...**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**Christian**_

"Are we there yet?" I hear the question which is annoying the crap out of me yet again. Fuck me; the kids are behaving better than my brother. He is out of his mind excited ever since we asked him and Kate to join us on our trip. I've asked Mia and Patrick too, but she is coming down with the flu and had to cancel last minute. So, it's just Ana, Kate, Elliot, I and the kids.

My brother started pouting when I told him we wouldn't stay at one of the Hotels which belong to the park, but a nearby mansion instead, but to my surprise it was Ana who put her foot down and told him we would not stay in one of the Disney themed hotels.

Yes, it would have been fun, but also a security nightmare and of course Chrissie would have shared the bedroom with us, which would have meant no sex. Hah, no wonder my wife was so insistent on renting a vacation home instead. She is nineteen weeks along now and man, she is horny all the time. If it was up to her I would just stand around with a hard on all day so she could jump me whenever she feels like it.

While the thought has its advantages, I have to say lately I'm glad to have some time to give my dick a rest while I am at work. I really like to fuck, but having sex seven times a day on a daily basis does get exhausting. Secretly, I wonder how she got through this phase while she was pregnant with Chrissie, but I do not ask, because Ana is in such a good mood every day that I don't want to put a damper on it by bringing up the time we had to spend apart. With the trials starting in a few months it will be brought up again soon anyway, so I don't want to remind me her too.

"So, I have a list ready with all the rides I want take... did you know that some of the rollercoaster are even safe for pregnant ladies." He says and now I am alarmed.

"No they are not and I'm not even thinking about going on rollercoaster rides, Elliot. I want to take Chrissie and EJ to all the kid friendly rides, you know the teacups, It's a small world, Dumbo... you can take Kate or Christian with you for the roller coasters." Ana says and rubs her protruding belly.

I always thought this pregnancy glow thing was just some crap men would say to their fat wives to make them feel better, but now I get it. There is something so peaceful and serene about looking at Ana while she is absentmindedly rubbing her belly... I can't even put it into words. She is radiant, positively glowing and every day I feel like she is even more beautiful than before.

"Mommy, I'm thirsty." Chrissie announces and to my surprise Ana hands her a Sippy cup.

"She can drink from a glass Ana." I mutter irritated, aren't we supposed to encourage her to drink out of a glass or cup instead of going back to stuff like that?

"Yes, she can, but not while we are in a moving car, she will only end up spilling everything over her clothes and the seat. It's okay, she knows it's just while we are in the car." She says and I nod, at least our kid is not still using a pacifier like EJ. Elliot hates it and I couldn't agree more, but according to Kate he gets carsick and sucking on the damn thing somehow makes it go away. I told Ana our baby won't get one of those suckers, but she told me that sometimes it's the only thing to calm a baby down, though we at least agreed that we'll only use it if we are out of options.

Finally we arrive at the house, but Ana makes us all wait outside and hurries inside only to return with a huge smile.

"Taylor, there's a little situation in the entrance hall, can you deal with it?" She asks still smiling and he heads inside right before we all hear a loud delighted squeal.

"Daddy!" A young female voice calls out inside and I frown.

"Wait, did you get Taylor's daughter here?" I ask and Ana nods.

"Yes, Gail flew down with her on a commercial flight two hours before we went. I wanted to surprise him. Her mother won't let them see each other often, so I had a rather unpleasant conversation with her and she agreed to let Sophie come."

"Just like that?" I know Taylor's ex wife is a bitch, so for her to just allow Taylor to take his daughter on this trip seems highly unlikely.

"No, I paid for a trip to Hawaii for her and her latest male friend." Ana explains and I close my eyes. Taylor's ex wife is one nasty piece of work, but at least Taylor can see her this way.

"Hello Miss Ana." Sophie says as she skips out of the house and over to Ana.

"Well, hello to you too, Miss Sophie, do you like it here?"

"Uh-huh and I brought some of Chrissie's favorite cookies, can I give them to her?"

"Of course, how about you take Chrissie and her little cousin EJ to the kitchen and you can all share the cookies while we unload the cars."

"Okay, bye Miss Ana." Sophie says and quickly gets Chrissie and EJ to follow her into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Ana. I really appreciate that you arranged for Sophie to be part of this trip." Taylor says as he steps outside too.

"You're welcome... oh and you are off duty while we are here; enjoy some father-daughter bonding time." She says and with that we unload our luggage from the car, get everything inside and Ana starts to unpack our suitcases in the master bedroom.

"Why did you bring pads you are pregnant." I mutter when she takes a packet out of her suitcase."

"These are panty liners, Christian and I need them because our child is lounging on my bladder." She says and I hold my hands up... _Christ, I had no idea shit like that happens..._

"So, since your brother is all giddy I thought Kate and I take the kids to Fantasy Land first while you go on the roller coasters with Elliot and we meet for dinner." She says and I frown.

"Baby, I want to go with you. I hate roller coasters, how about we take the kids and Elliot and Kate go on all the rides?"

"Even better... oh but we have to get Mickey Mouse ears for all of us first."

"I'm not wearing any ears!" I say and she is giving me that look... the one that makes it perfectly clear that I have no choice but to comply. _I guess it's safe to say that I am completely pussy whipped... and I love it. _

Forty Minutes later we get out of the car on one of the parking lots and while Elliot and Kate take off and Ana kneels in front of the kids.

"Okay both of you have to listen very carefully now, you both will under no circumstances let go of our hands. Disneyland is huge with lots and lots of people so I don't want either of you to get lost and EJ if you need to go potty you need to tell me. Your mommy has put you in pull ups, but you still have to tell us if you have to go potty, because the pull ups are just in case there is a little accident, okay."

"Otay auntie Ana." He says with a big nod and I wonder what those pull ups are, I mean he is three years old, so he is too old for diapers, right?

As soon as we enter the park EJ and Chrissie forget all about Ana's little pap talk, so now Chrissie is sitting on my shoulders and Sawyer has EJ on his shoulders, so they cannot run off. I try my hardest not to laugh at Sawyer, because EJ has both his little hands fisted in Luke's hair and each time he sees something he pulls Sawyer's head in the direction he saw it. Though I guess, I'm in need of a massage or even a session with a chiropractor once this trip is over, because Chrissie is bouncing up and down on my shoulders each time she sees something.

"Oh over there is a store where they sell Mickey Mouse ears, let's go." Ana announces while we are still on Main Street and I am surprised that Sawyer buys some Mickey Mouse ears for himself too, but understand his reasons when he puts them on and EJ holds the ears instead of pulling Luke's hair.

"Daddy I want you to get those!" Chrissie says and grabs a pair of huge Minnie Mouse ears with a bow on them.

"These are for girls sweetheart..."

"But I want us all to match, please Daddy, pleassssssssssssseeeeeee." She begs and I try to reason with her, but of course my little girl wins and so I leave the store wearing freaking Minnie Mouse ears. Ana is having a blast snapping pictures of us and giggling every time she looks at me. I will say that she looks kind of cute wearing them, while I look like a complete idiot and even had to snort myself when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

Before we enter Fantasy Land Ana took both kids to the restroom and now we are waiting in line for a ride called _It's a Small World_ and Ana is giving lollypops to the kids.

"Baby, I don't like them having those suckers; they are bad for their teeth." I tell her and she sighs.

"I know, but we will be in the park for at least six to seven hours today and I don't want them to fall asleep half way through it, because that means we have to come back tomorrow and do the same things again. So, I need to sugar them up, they get some cotton candy to share later and maybe a bit of ice cream after lunch." She explains and I decide not to argue... let the kids have fun.

After we have been in four different rides I'm ready to find the composer of the hideous tunes they are playing in each ride and strangle him. It's all just annoying and worse so fucking catchy I find myself humming those damn songs the entire time. Ana bought some cotton candy for the kids, but they only had one bite before a passing Disney Princess caught their attention and of course my pregnant wife couldn't resist and enjoyed it.

Around lunch time we make it to the _Paradise Pier _where we stop at _Ariel's Grotto _to have a bite to eat. Chrissie opts for _Whozits and Whatzits Fries and Nuggetz _and much to Ana's amusement EJ and I both order the _Ursula's Octo Dog _from the kids menu, but hey it's served with Mac and Cheese...

For dessert both kids get a scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cone and I swear it only took EJ five seconds to smear it all over his face and shirt. Ana however seemed to be prepared for that because she cleaned his face with baby wipes and even had a clean shirt for him in her bag. Secretly, I'm wondering what else she is carrying in that bag, I swear she could put one of the kids inside of it it's that big.

Around four in the afternoon we meet with Elliot and Kate on Main Street again, so we can buy some toys for the kids and other merchandise together.

"Nice ears, bro." Elliot laughs when he sees me.

"Nice hat." I smirk back because he is wearing a Donald Duck head.

"Hey we're in Disneyland it's all about reconnecting with your inner child... had no idea yours is a girl though." He laughs and I fight the urge to flip him off. Instead we head into the stores and the kids are allowed to each pick two stuff animals and one more item they like. Chrissie picks a snow globe that it themed after her favorite movie _Frozen_, while EJ picks a Truck from the movie _Cars_.

After another hour of shopping both kids are exhausted and already asleep when we are back in the car.

"Did EJ go potty or were there any accidents, Ana?" Kate asks as soon as we are on the road.

"No accidents, he is challenging though, I had to ask him every ten minutes." She replies.

"Is he still in diapers?" I ask he is too old for that!

"Normally he isn't, but he still has some accidents, mainly because he ignores that he has to go until it's too late, but I finally want those awful pull ups gone." She sighs.

"Have you seen a pediatrician?" I ask and she smiles.

"He is just fine, Christian. Boys are often harder to potty train than girls. You'll find out soon enough." She says and my gaze drifts to Ana's belly, where my son is growing.

"Are you alright, baby... it's been a long day." I ask her and she smiles.

"Yes, though after dinner when Chrissie is in bed, I want to soak in the tub for at least an hour, my feet hurt so bad, I have no idea what possessed me to wear these darn wedges today." She pouts and I lift her feet in my lap, take her shoes off and start to rub her feet.

"Are your feet swollen, baby?" I ask when I notice that they are bigger than normal.

"Yes, by the end of this pregnancy my toes will look like tootsie rolls." She says making me laugh.

"I happen to like your feet, swollen or not." I chuckle.

"Pervert." She mutters.

"Can't argue with that one." I laugh and she blushes, which makes Elliot and Kate laugh too.

At the house we wake the kids up and let them play outside a little while Ana and Kate fix dinner and I have beer with my brother.

"So, things are serious again with Kate and you?" I ask.

"Yup, we are still going to couples counseling though." He says surprising me.

"Hey, don't look at me like that, I want my relationship to work and yeah, as much as I love her, I'm still struggling to trust her completely and she... never mind."

"No, tell me what about her?"

"She has always been jealous and she has a hard time dealing with how close Ana and I are. I mean are you pissed when we meet for lunch or talk on the phone?" He asks and I think about for a second.

"No not pissed, I trust both of you... still sometimes it's hard to see how well you know her, maybe even better than I do in some ways." I confess.

"I was just trying to be there for her, I mean between losing first you, then her dad and breaking contact with her mom she was on her own. I never even thought about her in a sexual way, she is like a sister to me."

"I know, and you don't need to justify anything, bro. After all I'm glad that you and our entire family were there for her. Don't get me wrong, Ana is one of the strongest women I have ever met, but she also has the biggest heart and she trust so easily that it makes her an easy target for people who don't mean well. I'm glad she had you to lean on and I guess I should have shown more how thankful I am." To talk about stuff like that has never been easy for me, but I want him to know that it means more than he'll ever know to me that he took care of my girls when I couldn't.

"Yeah, that's what brother's do right?" Elliot says and shifts a bit uncomfortable, he is just as bad when it comes to talk about his feelings as I am.

"Guys, dinner is ready, get the kids please." We hear Kate call from inside and so we all get into the kitchen where we gather around the wooden table to share our meal.

Two hours later the kids are in bed and while Ana is soaking in the tub I have to check my e-mails, even though I would much rather join my wife in the tub.

I have just finished my last e-mail when I hear Ana. "Christian!" For a second my heart stops and all sorts of horrible scenarios run through my mind, while I jump to my feet and hurry into the bathroom.

"What is wrong?" I ask scanning her face for any sign of pain, but she is smiling.

"Come here, quick!" She says and when I kneel by the tub she reaches for my hands and places them on her belly.

"Wait... wait... there, did you feel it?" She asks super excited, but I can't talk, I move my hands a little and there it is again the lightest little tap against my hand.

"Is... is that... our son?" I against when I finally find my voice again.

"Yes, see I told you it wouldn't be long before you can feel him move around too." She says with the biggest smile and I decide to forget about work for today, so I drop my pj pants to the floor and get into the tub with her. When I place my hands on her belly again I am rewarded with yet another tiny tap of my son and it's in this moment that it really becomes real to me. I have been to every doctors appointment, watched Ana's belly grow and saw him on the monitor at every sonogram, but this moment where I can feel my son move in my wife's belly makes it true, soon I'm going to be a father of two and I couldn't be more happy than in this very moment...

* * *

_**I know another late chapter... seriously my updating "schedule" is so messed up I feel like apologizing each time I do update because it's always been so long... **_

_**Anyway just to let you know there are one or two chapters plus the Epilog left. And for those who have read my latest One-Shot "The End"... Yes, I am going to continue it and I have already some more chapters written, but to avoid making all of you constantly wait for updates again, I won't start posting chapters until I have at least half of the story written so I can promise weekly updates without slowing down half-way through the story... so please don't expect any updates before April...**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**Three weeks before Ana's due date - Seattle, Washington**_

_"Hi, this is Cassie Mitchell reporting live from the King County Courthouse, where the jury has just given her verdict in the trial against Elizabeth Morgan. Miss Morgan has been charged with second degree murder and attempted murder; as well as being accessory to the kidnapping of Christian Grey. More secondary charges are on the line today and it seems that Miss Morgan, who has not taken the stand throughout her trial, still believes that she will walk away as a free woman, seeing that she made her lawyer plead not guilty for her in his defense. _

_Much to our surprise Christian Grey and his family have not been present in the courtroom for most of the trial. In a short statement Christian Grey himself said that he is focusing on his present and future and tries not to dwell on his past anymore, therefore he doesn't want to sit through each day of the trial and spend more time with his wife Anastasia Grey and daughter Christian Grace instead. _

_Now we can officially say that the jury has returned after only four hours with a clear verdict finding Miss Morgan guilty of all charges. The judge will give her sentence later this evening."_

_**A few hours later**_

_"Hi, this is Cassie Mitchell and I am still out front of the King County Courthouse in Seattle, where Elizabeth Morgan, the woman who has faked the death of Christian Grey and helped kidnapping him has just been sentenced to a life in prison, with her first change of making parole being in twenty-five years. Upon hearing her sentence Miss Morgan has suffered a breakdown and had to be escorted out of the room by two police officers. Though some people who attended the trial and the sentence all report that she screamed to kill all the Grey's once she gets out, making it highly unlikely that she will ever make parole."_

_**Two weeks before Ana's due date - Montgomery, Alabama**_

_"Hi, this is Jackson Maitland outside the Montgomery Courthouse. Just minutes ago fifteen members of the Morgan family have been sentenced to serve different amounts of prison time for their involvement in the kidnapping of well known billionaire Christian Grey. One member of the family Kelsey Morgan has been already sentenced with kidnapping amongst other charges three days ago and is now facing twenty five years to life in prison. All other members of the Morgan family have been charged with sentence between 5 to 15 years in prison. All of them have also been served with a lifelong restraining order, so they are not allowed to come anywhere near Christian Grey, his family and even all future children that might be born into the Grey family. Grey himself only attended two days of the trial when he had to take the stand, surprising everyone by arriving with his wife, Anastasia Grey, who is rumored to give birth to their second child any day now..."_

_**Three years later - Seattle Post**_

_**Attempted prison break ends deadly**_

_Last night a group of four women attempted to break out of the Seattle correctional facility for women. Amongst the group of four have been Elena Lincoln, a former Seattle socialite and convicted child molester, as well as Elizabeth Morgan, the woman who was sentenced to life in prison for the attempt murder and kidnapping of Christian Grey. The women took a female prison warder hostage and stole her keys for their attempt to escape, however a silent alarm went off and soon the women found themselves surrounded by other prison warders. When they tried to attack them with self made weapons the officers had no choice but to fire there guns, killing both Elena Lincoln and Elizabeth Morgan in the process. The other two women, Amber Lloyd and Penelope Young have both been injured are being treated at a police hospital. _

* * *

_**Ana - Present day (Six days after her due date)**_

I am huge, I haven't seen my feet in forever, which might be a good thing, because according to my four year old daughter, they are balloons. Tomorrow I have to see Dr. Greene again, but at this point, I know that she is going to induce me soon. Today I'm officially forty weeks and six days pregnant. I guess it's safe to say that my son just doesn't want to be born.

Yesterday, I had a check up at the hospital and I was so hoping that they would induce me, but all is looking good, so they want to give my baby boy a bit more time to decide himself if he wants to be born now. I have loved being pregnant, really, but now I'm tired of it, I'm just exhausted, uncomfortable and I don't even want to mention the constant heartburn, swollen feet or the fact that my belly has dropped so much that I can barely wipe myself when I have to pee, which is about thirty times a day it feels.

Because I am so exhausted, I have tried everything to get into labor. I convinced Christian to fuck me hard, well, his version of hard fucking is very different from mine nowadays, but it didn't work. I have had spicy food, which only resulted in nasty heartburn and about four trips to the bathroom. I even had someone come over for Acupuncture, but nothing helped.

It's my own fault though; he is just too comfortable in my belly. I mean I get it, it's warm and cozy and I am feeding him by indulging in all of my cravings. What also scares me is that I am having a huge baby. Dr. Greene says he will come out about 23 inches and 9 lbs. To me that's huge, Chrissie was 19 inches and just over 7 lbs, so now I'm also worried that I might need a c-section, which I want to avoid if I can help it. Grace tried to calm me, telling me that the ultrasound is not always accurate and that the weight also comes due to the fact that my baby boy is going to be 4 inches longer than Chrissie had been, but still, I just don't want to get a c-section.

"Hey baby, are you alright?" Christian asks when he comes into the room. He has finally found the perfect COO in Samantha Bernstein who had been working at GEH almost from the beginning and is now taking over for a few weeks so Christian can stay home with us.

"Yes, just thinking, can we go out for a walk?" I ask, maybe walking around will finally get me into labor.

"Sure, I get a cardigan for you and ask Gail to watch Chrissie for us." He says and a few minutes later we walk across the meadow.

"So, I thought since I am still not in labor, we might as well go to Mia's birthday dinner tonight."

"Are you sure you are up to it?" He asks clearly worried.

"Yes, sitting and eating ... I think I can manage that much." I laugh and he leans in to kiss me.

"You won't be pregnant forever, baby." He says.

"I'm not so sure about that, your son seems to like his surroundings, because he has no intention to come out anytime soon." I pout.

"Maybe that's because we still don't have a name for him." He says and I sigh. We have talked names so often, but somehow we can't agree on a name. We have Raymond settled as middle name, but we still haven't found the first name for our baby boy. We have been going back and forth between Theodore, Matthew and Jacob, but we just can't seem to make the final decision on his first name, so we decided to wait until he is born to look at him before we have to make a decision.

"Can we not discuss this right now? I really think once we see him we will know his name."

"Okay, so do you want to give me another go at trying to fuck you into labor?" He asks and I laugh.

"Christian, seriously my belly has dropped so much, I'm not even sure you can find my lady parts anymore." I pout and now he is laughing.

"Baby, believe me I'll find them, besides we could make a good old treasure hunt out of it." He says and wiggles his brows.

"Your terrible, but okay let's try this one more ti... oh crap." I stop as I feel a slight gush of fluid from my lady parts.

"What?" Christian asks and searches my face for any clue of what is going on.

"Wait." I murmur and take another step, which sure enough is accompanied by another gush of fluid. "I think my water just broke, I'm leaking each time I move... eww help me inside please it's dripping down my leg, I need a towel or something." I mutter and for a moment Christian seems frozen, but then he takes charge of the situation and leads me into the house.

"Gail, Taylor!" He calls out and they hurry into the foyer.

"Ana's water broke, Gail I need you to watch Chrissie. Taylor have the car ready when we need to leave." He says and helps me upstairs into our bathroom.

"I'll get you clean clothes baby, anything specific you want?"

"Yes, the white and blue maxi dress and the grey cardigan." While he is off to find my clothes I take my now wet pants and panties off and check the color of the water, but it's clear and there is no blood, so I'm good.

"Here I have your dress and clean panties." He says when he returns, but frowns when I start to fold a towel to somehow fit into my panties.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm still dripping water, so I need something to absorb it." I explain finally satisfied with my pad-towel construction.

"Umm... why don't you take one of these panty liner things?" He says and I laugh.

"Christian, panty liners are for little drops of fluid, not gushing of amniotic fluid."

"Okay, whatever you need, just let me know if I can help you in anyway."

"Well, I'm still not in labor, but with my water broken we should go to the hospital now to get checked and situated there."

"Good, I'll get your hospital bag and then we can go." He says and ten minutes later we are back downstairs where Chrissie comes running to me.

"Mommy, when can I see my little brother?" She asks and I ask Christian to lift her up for me, so we are at eye-level.

"I can't tell you when exactly, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, but I promise you as soon as your little brother has arrived Daddy will call you and Gail and Ryan will take you to the hospital to meet your brother."

"Pinky swear?" She asks making me smile.

"Yes, pinky swear."

"Okay, love you mommy."

"I love you too, Chrissie, be a good girl for Gail." I say, kiss her and then it's time to leave.

_**Twenty hours later - Still Ana**_

Even though my water has broken and I have been given something to induce labor I have no real contraction. So, Doctor Greene let me sleep through the night and is now giving me more drugs to induce labor. I know this is my last try, to start labor, because Dr. Greene told us she wants our son born within twenty-four hours after the water broke. I try to stay positive, but I'm scared that I might need a c-section to deliver this baby.

There are still four hours left, but with no real contractions and me only being 4 centimeters dilated it might not be enough time.

"Okay, it's all set, Ana. I will be back in thirty minutes to give you a higher dose if this one didn't give us the desired progress." Dr. Greene says and leaves the room.

"How do you feel, baby?" Christian asks and takes my hand.

"Scared, I really don't want a c-section... why doesn't he want to come out?" I ask fighting tears.

"It's okay, Ana. Please don't cry, you don't have to be scared, I'm not leaving your side, we are in this together." He says, but at this point it's not helping and my tears start to spill.

Christian wraps his arms around me and just allows me to have a good cry until I feel better.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't know maybe something to drink other than water, some juice would be great."

"Yes, sure any specific juice?"

"No, just a juice." I reply and he leaves the room. A minute later I forget all about the freaking juice because I'm having a contraction and not just a light one, but one that makes me want to grab someone's hand and crush it. I try to breathe through it and when it's over I need a few moments to recover, when I feel a bit better I want to push the button to call the nurse, but I am hit with another contraction that is just as painful and just when it's over another one comes in and this time I scream hoping to alert someone because the freaking call button is out of my reach and sure enough Taylor barges into the room.

"Get Dr. Greene!" I bark at him through gritted teeth, I don't know what kind of drugs from hell she has given me, but this doesn't feel right at all!

Two minutes later Dr. Greene and a nurse get into the room.

"Oh, look at that, your reacted well to the higher dose of Pitocin." She says and I want to roll my eyes at her.

"Why is this getting so strong so fast?" I ask while yet another contraction hits.

"It's because we induced you, Ana. These are forced contractions, so they come in quicker and are often more painful, but each of them brings you closer to bringing your son into this world."

"I want him out now." I gasp, this is horrible, my entire body feels like I am having one giant cramp time and time again.

"I know, Ana and I am not going to leave this room until you have him in your arms, let me see if you have dilated some more." She says. _Just great, the last thing I want right now is anyone even remotely close to my lady parts. _

"You are making good progress Ana; you have dilated three more centimeters within the last twenty minutes, judging from how well you are reacting to the drugs it shouldn't be long now." She says and I want to yell at her to give me a c-section, but keep my mouth shut, because even though it hurts like hell at the moment, I want to push my son out myself and if it's just to prove all the women from my labor class who said I'm too petite to give birth to a big child wrong. _I can do this!_

"Baby I bought you fruit pun... what is going on?" Christian asks when he enters the room.

"What does it look like? Give me your hand!" I hiss at him and squeeze his hand tightly when the pain reaches its peak.

From there on I feel like I'm in a fog, the contractions just won't stop or slow down anymore and I'm somewhere between angry and desperate most of the time. Christian is wiping my face and arms with a cold wash cloth, but really at this point I wish no one would be touching me in any way at all. Still, I'm trying not to let it out on Christian, the nurse and Dr. Greene; because the more rational part of me knows they are only trying to help.

I have lost complete track of time it could have been hours or only minutes since the contraction started, I really have no idea. All I'm waiting for is for Dr. Greene to give me the go to start pushing. One thing is for sure though, I will never in my life get induced again. I have given birth before, but this is unlike anything I could have imagined or have experienced when it comes to labor pain.

"Ana with the next contraction you can slowly start to push, I'll count for you, but might ask you to stop before we reach ten." Dr. Greene says, but all I really hear is that I can start to push.

After one hour of pushing, I'm exhausted, but I know I can't give up now, I have come this far, now I have to continue.

"Now, I need a big push Ana, you are almost there." Dr. Greene announces and I know this is the worst part, but I screw my eyes shut and give it my all, until I am told to stop.

"The head is out Ana, now we need one more good push, seems we have a little quarterback here." She says and that is really not something I want to hear now, all I want is to push him out.

Two rounds of pushing later and the room is filled with the most beautiful cries and the nurse wants to hand him to me.

"No, please let my husband hold him." I tell her through my tears and before he can react she has put our son in his arms. I just watch them exhausted, happy and just so, so overwhelmed at the sight of my strong husband crying as he holds our son for the first time. I know I have done the most work today, but all I really wanted was for Christian to have this moment with our baby boy and it has been all worth it...

_**A few hours later**_

"Are you sure you are comfortable, baby? I can get you some more pillows." Christian says as I am nursing our son.

"I'm fine, Christian, sore but fine." I tell him with a smile. To be completely honest, I feel like my lady parts have been through a meat grinder and I even needed a few stitches, but I have given birth to a healthy boy who is 24.5 inches long and weighs in at 9.4 lbs, so I guess some tearing was to be expected.

"Okay, do you want something to eat?"

"Later, when will Gail arrive with Chrissie?" I ask, Chrissie is the only one who is going to meet our baby boy today, I'm just too exhausted for visitors and Christian called our family asking them to give us until tomorrow before they come to visit.

"They should be here soon, baby we need to finally give him a name." Christian says and I know he is right, my poor boy can't be called darling or sweetheart forever.

"Can you take him, I think he is done for now." I say when my little guy stops to nurse.

"Sure, come to Daddy little man... damn, he's a big guy, right? Look at his hands and feet, Ana I'm telling you this little guy is going to be an athlete one day. Yeah, you are going to play football or maybe you'll be a wrestler some day." He says and I laugh, everyone who sees him says that, to me actually he doesn't look as big as everyone makes it sound, he is just my precious little baby boy.

"There they are." Christian says when there is a knock at the door and places the baby in my arms before he opens the door takes Chrissie in his arms and carries her over to the bed.

"Mommy! Can I hold my brother, please?" She asks.

"Chrissie you have to be very gentle both with Mommy and the baby, okay?" Christian says before he places her on the bed next to me and takes our little boy to gently place him in her arms.

"He is soooooooo cute Mommy, he is as cute as a teddy bear." She says and Christian and I both look at each other. Did she say cute as a teddy bear... Teddy! I can tell Christian is thinking the same thing and I nod at him with a big smile.

"Well Chrissie, then his name suits him just fine."

"What is his name, Daddy?"

"His name is Theodore Raymond Grey, but we will call him Teddy." He says and sits down on the bed too.

We just continue to look at our children and I know from this moment on life will be great...

* * *

_**There is one more chapter left, after all we need to see how Christian will handle things with Chrissie and a new born when Ana has an appointment and he takes care of them alone for an afternoon, right? After that there will be an epilog which is set about 35 to 40 years in the future... **_


	31. Chapter 31

_**Christian**_

"Are you sure you will be okay?" Ana asks as she puts her shoes on. Today she has her check up at Dr. Greene's. I wanted to go with her, but Teddy had an upset stomach last night and has been fussy all morning, so we didn't want to leave him with Gail.

Damn, I feel guilty that my little man had to deal with an upset stomach, because I convinced Ana that we should try to top him off with some formula, because he is on her tits almost 24/7. He took the bottle just fine, but after forty-five minutes or so, he started to cry unlike anything I have heard of him so far. Ana tried to nurse him, but he wasn't having it and looked kind of cramped up for a while, I was just about to call my Mom when Ana started to massage his belly and with that the floodgates opened and not even his diaper could hold all the contents he was producing.

Ana got some all over her shirt and pants, but she didn't even seemed to care, because she just took her clothes off, changed him and asked me to get him a bottle of some sort of tea Gail bought, because apparently it helped a lot when Chrissie had gas while she was a baby. The tea smelled almost as nasty as my son's shitty diapers, but I handed Ana the bottle, Teddy slowly sipped the tea and to my surprise it helped. Ana tried to reassure me that sometimes it takes a while to find the right formula for a baby, but since she has enough milk we won't try again for now.

"You know, I can just call Dr. Greene and reschedule." She offers and I roll my eyes.

"Baby, I'll be fine. Teddy is sleeping and Chrissie and I will just watch a movie until you are back."

"Okay, so I have to go... oh I want to make a quick stop at the store on my way back, do you want anything?" She asks bending down to grab her purse, giving me a great view of her perfect ass... _no don't even think about it, Grey, two more weeks to go..._

"No, I'm good." I mutter and she gives me a brief kiss before she heads out of our bedroom.

I wait until I hear the front door close and take my sleeping son in my arms. One thing I have learned about babies pretty quick is that once they are asleep there is not much that will wake them up... well at least with Teddy it's that way. He is either eating or sleeping, rarely cries and overall he is just a happy little guy. The only times he does cry if he either is hungry or in need of a clean diaper, if he cries however you can quickly see that he has a bit of a temper. For a minute or two, he cries those whiney little cries and if Ana or I are not ready to feed or change him within that time frame he really starts to cry as loud and angry as he can.

In the family room I find Chrissie playing with her dolls, so I put Teddy down in his moses basket and sit down next to Chrissie.

"Hey there sweetie, what would you like to do until mommy is back?" I ask and Chrissie looks around trying to come up with a plan.

"Can we make waffles, daddy?" She finally asks.

"Sure, do you want me to help you with your dolls first?" I ask when I see that she is trying to braid her doll's hair.

"Mommy showed me before, but I forgot how to do it." She pouts, so I put her in my lap, take one of her dolls and show her how to do it, until she manages to braid the hair of the last doll she has here in the family room.

"So, how about we make waffles now?" I ask and Chrissie nods excitedly, so I carry the moses basket with Teddy in it into the kitchen and gather all the ingredients we need.

"Daddy can we put some chocolate chips and raspberries in the waffles?"

"Sure, let's see where Mommy and Gail are keeping the chocolate chips."

"They are in there Daddy!" Chrissie says and points to a drawer.

"Perfect, let's get started." Years ago, I would have been utterly helpless in a situation like this, but now, I feel like being alone with a newborn and a 4 year old is a piece of cake...hell give me ten more kids and I'm sure I'll manage just fine...

Five minutes later, my own stupid thoughts come back to bite me, because Teddy is awake announcing loudly that he wants to be fed now.

"Daddy why is he so loud?" Chrissie yells at me trying to be louder than her brother.

"He's just hungry, sweetheart." I tell her and rock Teddy in my arms while we are waiting for bottle warmer to do its magic.

"Daddy, I want a waffle." Chrissie whines and I feel a headache coming when my phone starts to ring.

"Grey?"

"Whoa, is that Teddy?" I hear Elliot and roll my eyes.

"What do you need, Elliot?" I ask annoyed.

"Daddy waffles!" Chrissie demands in the background so I start to mix the batter.

"Bad timing, bro?"

"What... umm... what's up, Elliot?"

"Nothing, EJ and I are alone this afternoon, mind if we drop by?"

"No it's fine." I mutter and pour some milk in the batter.

"Daddy..."

"Chrissie, I'm on the phone!"

"But Daddy you put..."

"Chrissie Grace!" I scold her and she pouts, so I kiss the top of her head and sigh when the bottle warmer beeps.

"Just stop by whenever you want, I have to feed Teddy now."

"Sure, see ya soon." He says and we end the call.

Finally thirty minutes later I have managed to feed, burp and change Teddy, who is now napping again.

"Time to make your waffles, Chrissie." I let her know, but she is now ignoring me, playing with a coloring book on the floor.

"Chrissie?" No reply... fine, let her pout a little, she has to learn that she can't be the center of attention 24/7. So, I continue to make the waffles and I'm just finished when, Elliot and EJ arrive, so we all sit down in the kitchen, but Chrissie pushes her waffle away.

"Chrissie, you wanted me to make waffles, now please eat." I ask and but she shakes her head stubbornly, while Elliot and EJ dig in.

"Chrissie, what is wrong?" I ask.

"You put mommy's milk in there." She says and I frown.

"Chrissie the milk is for everyone, now eat your waffle."

"No, Mommy said the milk is for Teddy because he is a baby and I'm not." She says and Elliot spits the piece of waffle he just chewed back onto the plate.

"Are you kidding me? This better be a joke, man! Oh man, please don't tell me you've made those with milk that came from ... from... oh god!" He whines and washes his mouth out at the tap.

Shit did I? I have no idea, so I open the fridge and find that the real milk is still inside and hasn't been opened yet... fuck!

"Bro, I don't like that look on your face...oh dude, really? I need to brush my teeth... noooo, EJ, don't eat that!" Elliot is still whining and just then Ana comes in.

"What is going on here?"

"Why are you already back, you've been gone for not more than an hour?"

"Yes, we just arrived at Dr. Greene's office when she had to close her office for today to perform an emergency c-section." Ana explains. "So, what is going on here?"

"I umm... made an mistake with the waffles." I confess and she frowns.

"I had Elliot on the phone and Teddy was crying while I was trying to make the batter and so I used the wrong milk."

"The wrong... wait... you didn't?" She asks and bursts out laughing when I nod.

"Me wants waffles!" EJ exclaims loudly, still appalled that his father took his plate away and I think my brother is about to puke.

"Oh my god, this is great, come lets make some waffles for the kids, with cow milk this time." Ana still giggles, while Elliot is muttering something about needing a whisky.

"Come on, Elliot its not that bad, breast milk is healthy, there is still some in the freezer." Ana teases him.

"Noooo! Don't say that, oh my God, that milk came from... from your ... oh my god." Elliot whines and even I have to laugh at this point.

"I tried to tell Daddy, but he wouldn't listen." Chrissie announces.

"That's because your Daddy is a man, they rarely listen you better learn that now." Ana tells her and I raise one brow at her to which she replies by blowing me a kiss, which in turn makes me smile like an idiot.

"You're so whipped." Elliot whispers as he comes to stand next to me. I decide to really freak him out.

"Best pussy on earth to be whipped with." I whisper back and his mouth drops open.

"Oh my god, why would you say that? Fuck, I don't want to hear that, what's next want to tell me a story about our parents going at it?"

"Well, if you want to, I once walked in on them and man they were..." I don't get to finish my sentence because Ana hits me with a kitchen towel the same moment Elliot wrestles me to the floor.

"Behave boys and maybe consider who is listening before you discuss your parents marital relations." Ana scolds us, while Elliot puts me in a headlock making me laugh.

"Me too." EJ squeals and soon Elliot, the kids and I are on the floor playfully wrestling each other.

"What on earth is going on here?" We all stop at once when we hear Grace's voice and look up to find my parents staring at us in disbelieve, while Ana is still making waffles.

"Just entertaining the kids... what brings you here?"

"Your mother was itching to see her youngest grandson again." My Dad says with a smirk and of course Grace has already picked him up.

"Has he gained weight, Ana?"

"Yes, but then again, he eats like a tiny lumberjack, so I would be surprised if he was losing weight." Ana muses.

"Grams, Daddy stole my waffle." EJ pouts as my Dad picks him up and he looks questioningly at Elliot.

"Don't ask, I'm traumatized." Elliot mutter making Ana and I laugh.

"What happened?" my Mom wants to know now.

"Christian accidentally used my breast milk to make the waffles." Ana giggles and my mother is laughing too, while Dad shifts uncomfortably.

"Well, breast milk is very healthy."

"And tasty." I point out before I can stop myself and both my parents and Elliot are gaping at me.

"Well hell, now you did it, bro. Give me Flynn's number, I need therapy!" Elliot says deadpan and thank God everyone starts to laugh and we move on to other topics of conversation. Once the kids have their waffles, Ana looks into the fridge and freezer rummaging around.

"Do you need help, baby?"

"No, I'm good, I just thought we could have a BBQ tonight. Maybe, Mia and Patrick can join us too. The weather is so nice today, perfect to spend some more time outside."

"Did I hear you say BBQ, Sis?" Elliot smirks.

"On second thought, I might need to go to store to by more food." Ana giggles.

"You better, cool I'm in. You hear that son, it's all you can eat at your uncle's house." He says to EJ, who is still stuffing his little face with the waffles Ana just gave to the kids. That little guy sure has inherited the black hole my brother calls his stomach.

"Then it is settled, I call Mia and Elliot please let Kate know, will you help me with the salads Grace?" Ana asks and my Dad smiles.

"Well, I'll be the grill master tonight." He says and I smirk at him.

"Shouldn't that be my job, Dad... after all this is my house." I point out and he smiles.

"You can help me, son, but I will always be the master of the grill... haven't you seen my apron?" He asks and I laugh remembering his stupid license to grill apron.

"Fine, you are the master of the grill and I am your little helper." I chuckle and go to the fridge to get a beer for my dad and I.

Three hours later Mia, Patrick and Kate have arrived and Ana has invited Taylor, Gail, Sawyer and Ryan to join us for the BBQ. Reynolds refused because someone had to stay in the security office, but I know Ana will make sure to bring him a plate full of food into the office.

EJ and Chrissie are chasing around the backyard, while all the women are on the patio talking and enjoying a glass of wine. Teddy is sleeping in his bassinet on the patio and all the men have gathered around the grill where we are having beer and listen to my Dad making some jokes.

As I take everything in, my mind goes back to a time about six years ago, where I was also at a family BBQ. My mother, Mia, her friend Lilly and Elena had been there, as well as Elliot and some of his friend. Everyone was having a good time, everyone but me to be exact. For some reason I can't even fathom anymore, I was annoyed with all the happiness and sat down inside, working on my laptop. Still from time to time I found myself watching them through the french windows and I remember feeling like an outsider, not worthy of the love of my family or happiness in general.

Sometimes I would love nothing more than to have the chance to go back in time and meet my past-self. Just so I could show myself that things can change, things can get better and that there is a different life waiting for him... a life full of love and happiness... with a beautiful wife, two a amazing kids and the unconditional love of the best family in the world.

"Happy?" I hear Ana's beautiful voice as she comes up to me and wraps her arms around my middle.

"Very happy, life can't get any better." I smile at her and lean down to kiss her. Yes, it's true life is perfect and for the first time ever I feel that it's going to last...

* * *

_**So, this is it ... there is only the Epilog left which I have already started and hope to have up next week... A huge thank you to all of you who have read/reviewed and followed this story even with my less than frequent updates... you guys are amazing!**_

_**I have one question, I know many of you are waiting for me to continue my One-Shot "The End". By now I have written about fourteen chapters, so I could start to post next week and give you one chapter each week, but I was thinking about finishing it first to give you daily updates... but that would mean that I won't start to post before the end of May or early June... so please let me know if you would prefer weekly or daily updates...**_


	32. Epilogue

_**Epilog - 35 years later**_

_**Christian**_

I knew I had to do this. Don't get me wrong, I had and still have the most amazing life... a different life from what I have envisioned when I was an angry young man... before I met my wife and she not just gave me her heart, but showed me that I have a heart to give too. We have been blessed with five amazing children and six grandchildren who keep us young... over the years I have thought about seeing her again... really talking it out... but as soon as the thought came to me I gave it up until three days ago.

Ana came into my study with a newspaper in her hand, showing me the obituary notes. I just nodded, but I guess Ana knew too that I wanted to know. I tried to tell myself I don't need this, that it's too late now... but if life has taught me anything than it is that it is never too late for anything. And here I am on the cemetery staring at the headstone in front of me.

_Roslyn 'Ros' Bailey_

_11/05/1979 - 09/20/2051_

_Beloved Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Friend_

"You know, I have always wondered if you ever regretted what you have done? If the friendship we had was real. Damn it Ros, I considered you a friend in a time of my life where I didn't even like myself... You had your reasons I know, but you should have known better... should have known that I would have moved heaven and earth to keep Gwen's secret safe... to help you... but you sold me out... let them steal four fucking years of my life... fuck, you really fucking hurt me, Ros."

I stop and smile looking at the flowers in my hand as I place them on her grave.

"See, I remembered, after all you said once you are dead you don't mind receiving flowers." I chuckle remembering how many years ago when we sealed our first multi million dollar deal I bought her some flowers and she nearly beat me with them, telling me that if I wanted to celebrate a deal with her, I should buy her a bottle of scotch and not some flowers that I could better use to get myself some pussy. After that, I always got her a bottle of her favorite scotch when we sealed a deal and most often we ended up bat shit drunk in her office.

"I thought about you a lot, Ros. Sometimes I saw us talking things out over a bottle of scotch... but it never happened. I'm sorry you were sick in the end, but I guess you are at a better place now."

"Mr. Grey?" I turn around when I hear an unfamiliar voice saying my name and find a young man, maybe in his late twenties or early thirties walking towards me.

"Are you Christian Grey?" He asks and I nod.

"She knew you would come." He says standing next to me.

"Who are you?"

"Sorry, I forget. I'm Christian... Ros' son." He says and for a moment I'm dumfounded that Ros would name her son after me.

"My mother talked about you a lot in her last days. She said she lived a beautiful live, very different from what she thought it would be, but beautiful all the same. She only had one regret."

"What regret?"

"That she betrayed her best friend... she asked me to give you this." He says and hands me a letter along with a bottle of scotch.

"I leave you to talk... just if you find in your heart to forgive her... she was the best mother any child could ask her... but I know she needs your forgiveness to move on to wherever it is we are going after we leave this world." He says and I nod at him as he turns around to leave.

I sit down on the soft grass in front of her grave and open the letter.

_Dear Christian,_

_You have no idea how often I have a started to write you a letter, but in the end I never went through with it. There is nothing I can do or say to make my betrayal any less painful or horrible as it was. Still, there is one thing I need to say, something I should have told you thirty-five years ago, something I just couldn't say to your face, because I know it wasn't enough. _

_I am sorry, I'm so very sorry for my part in what happened to you all those years ago. During those years people believed you were gone I was trying to convince myself that it was for the best, that I was keeping my silence to protect Gwen, but the truth is I was scared. So fucking scared to face the reality of what I had done and let happen. With each day that passed my guilt grew and by the time you returned I was too far gone to just confess, I was caught up in my net of lies and there was no way out for me._

_Still, it doesn't justify what I have done and what I have taken from you. It wasn't until I had become a mother myself that I fully understood what I had done. I have taken four years in the life of your daughter from you... so many precious moments and for that, I will always be sorry. _

_You have to believe me that I was never as happy as I was the day I heard you found your way back to your family... I probably never said it out loud, but I considered you my best friend... in a way I have never stopped seeing you as my friend. You could have made sure that I would never leave jail... that I would never find a job again or a home... but you didn't... and for that, I will be forever thankful to you. It was just another way of you showing what an amazing human being you truly are and I hope that with the love of Ana and your family you have learned long ago to see that for yourself. _

_When I first met you, when you had just started GEH I knew you make it far, but you went beyond anything I could have ever imagined... yet you always seemed lost... not anymore more though... for the last decades when I saw you on the news or in magazines I saw something different... I saw peace in your eyes... that's something that wasn't there before._

_And because I saw that, I decide not to intrude and contact you. I didn't want to rip open a wound that had healed so many years ago. Now that I have only days left I know that you will come to visit my grave... it's what I hope and it gives me the opportunity to say what's been on my mind for so many years. _

_I want you to know that I had a good life, Gwen and I have raised three kids together, we turned an old farm into our dream home and she made dream of owning her own little farmer's market come true. _

_Never thought that a simple life would be what would make me happy, but it truly did. Of course, I have followed your life through the news coverage... man, five kids, you sure liked to keep Ana heavy with child... and don't think I didn't notice that you started to sport a few gray hairs just around the time Chrissie started to date that actor... good thing she settled for that teacher in the end, he looks like a nice guy. _

_Anyway... what I really want to say is thank you. I know it's years too late, just like my apology, but I need you to know that I truly cared for you even though in the end I turned out not to be worthy to have a friend like you... _

_And before this turns too sappy, please have a huge gulp of my favorite scotch and enjoy your life..._

_Ros_

I open the bottle and do just that. "To you" I mutter and shudder. "Damn woman, you always drank the strongest shit you could get your hands on. Your son seems to be a good kid; I bet the other two are too. My own... well they are all good kids, though I'm telling you my two girls dated the biggest assholes just to drive me insane... Chrissie... fuck me, when she dated that actor you mentioned I wanted to kill the bastard... I knew he just used her as arm-candy and fucked around, but she wouldn't listen... well, she is now happily married... has been for fourteen years and Dan, her husband, fucker doesn't give me any reason to hate him."

I smile thinking about my daughter. Chrissie went to Yale and made a degree in literature, before she decided that she wanted to work with kids. Now she is pre-school teacher and has three beautiful little girls. Ted followed in my Dad's footsteps and has become a very successful lawyer and is now head of the GEH legal department. He was known to be a playboy for quite sometime, but five years ago, he found the right woman and married Jessica within four months of meeting her. They have a little boy called Adrian and Jessica is five months pregnant with their second child.

Our second son, Mason, is now thirty-two and has taken over Grey Construction together with EJ. Ana is worried that he will never settle down and have kids, but I know he is just having too much fun fooling around to settle down just yet, so I'm not all that worried about him, once he meets the right girl for him he'll know.

Liam, our third son is completely different. He met his wife Lucy when he was in his senior year in high school and she was just a freshman. I told him to stay the hell away from her until she was eighteen, but he wasn't having it. He went straight to her parent's house, introduced himself and asked for permission to date their daughter. I believe to this day that her parents only agreed because Liam was about to graduate three months later and they thought once he was out of town to go to Harvard they would break up anyway.

Instead, they somehow made it work. He came home to see her as often as he could and when she turned sixteen her parents allowed her to fly down to Boston to see him for a weekend every other month. Ana told me that they were meant to be, but I had my doubts, which were proven wrong when Mason surprised us all by proposing to her on her eighteenth birthday. They got married right after he graduated and moved back to Seattle, where Lucy went to college, before they had their twin girls and little boy.

By now, Liam has become my second in command and runs the day-to-day operations of GEH for me, so that I can slowly progress into retirement. I still feel that at the age of sixty-eight I could work a few more years full time, but then I remember my Dad. He always promised my Mom he would cut back on his work, but even at the ridiculous age of eighty, he went to the office every day, until one day he suffered a heart attack in the middle of the courtroom and died before anyone could call for help.

He always thought he had more time left, time to spend with my Mom and his family, traveling and just enjoy retirement, but it didn't happen for him. After he passed away, my mother almost gave up on herself. She insisted on staying at Bellevue, but it clearly became too much for her. We all offered to take her in, but she declined. It wasn't until she dropped a lot of weight, making us all sick with worry that Ana had enough.

She had lost her own mother just a few months before my Dad passed away and she couldn't handle the prospect of losing Grace as well. So she went to Bellevue and just started to pack for my mother, telling her that she was not going to lose the last living parent she has left, before she broke down crying and begging Grace to live with us. The same day my mother moved in with us and she still does. At the astounding age of one-hundred and five years, my mother is still with us. Sure, she is slower these days and a bit fragile, but she still has her wits about her and loves to spend time with her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We know that she won't be with us forever, but we are all so very happy that she is still here that every day with her is a gift for us.

Another gift for us has been Ariella Mia Grey. Our youngest daughter. After Liam, Ana and I wanted to have just one more child, but she didn't get pregnant no matter what we tried. We went to specialist, did everything we were told, but it just wasn't happening. Two invitro fertilizations ended with Ana miscarrying and we decided not to try again, it was just too painful for both of us.

So, we decided to be happy with the four kids we have and never talked about having another child. The week before Ana turned forty I noticed that she looked sick and tired a lot. Then on her birthday when he had a huge family gathering she just passed out during dinner leaving all of us shocked and sick with worry while she was being rushed to the hospital.

That evening at the ER, we found out that Ana was six weeks pregnant. We couldn't believe it at first and then became both scared that Ana would miscarry again, but she didn't and in the end gave birth to our youngest daughter.

We knew right from the start that Ariella would turn out as some kind of artist. She would only sleep while listening to music, would even as a baby stare at paintings for hours on end trying to figure them out and as soon as she could talk she started to sing.

She started to paint as a child and we almost made sure to support her with her artistic talent. Today she has a studio where she paints, makes sculptures and she also sings in a band as female lead and gives concert throughout the state. I offered to get in touch with some record companies, but Ariella, always the free spirit, just enjoys singing for other people and doesn't want the whole fuss that comes with being signed to a huge record company.

Much to my dismay, she has been dating some wannabe rockstars and artist with no future written all over them, but is now in a relationship with Shane Whitmore, son of Ana's and my friend Noah Whitmore.

Shane is a billionaire in his own right and owns nightclubs and hotels all over the country. I would love for them to get married, but they both think it's old fashioned and enjoy their life together without wedding certificate. I'm just glad that she is happy and with someone who is with her, because she is an amazingly talented and beautiful young woman and not because of the Grey name. Still, seeing that they already have an eighteen months old daughter, I would wish they would get married…

"Kids, right Ros? They know how to drive you insane… still they are the greatest gift."

I stare at her grave and slowly get up. "I forgive you, Ros. Not because you are dead and it has been your last wish, but because of the good times we had together… we rocked the business world… we truly did. Goodbye old friend." I mutter and leave the cemetery.

"Were to, Sir?"

"Home, Vince." I answer my CPO who has been with me ever since Taylor had to retire seven years ago. Taylor didn't want to, but his eyesight isn't what it used to be and even with surgery, he can see shit once it gets dark. So he had to retire, though he and Gail still live at the apartment on our estate and both of them have become family to Ana and I years ago.

When it comes to our health, Ana and I have been blessed. Neither of us has to take any medication and we both exercise each day to stay fit and in shape. With us now being grandparents I like to joke that after being the hottest MILF ever Ana now has become the hottest Grandma I'd like to fuck… and I do… often.

Apart the times we had to stay away from sex after Ana gave birth to our children, we still have kept our love life going and I hope to keep it up for many more years to come…

Arriving at our home, I smile, just like our family our home too has expanded over the years. We have bought both neighboring plots over the years, which are now home to Liam and his family on our left and Chrissie's family on our right. Ariella, lives at Escala now, because the open space and floor to ceiling windows are great for her art, but Shane has been bugging her for some time now to find a house and she has finally given in, so they are looking for a home in our area.

Ted has bought my childhood home, when my mother decided it was time to put it on the market. He has remodeled it and made some modernization to it, but he has kept my Dad's study untouched and still uses it as his own now.

Vince slows down as he pulls up into the driveway, because our dogs are playing outside. Christ, over the years we had so many animals, we could have opened our very own pet zoo. Dogs, cats, bunnies, guinea pigs, birds… you name it and one of my kids had it. Now, Ana and I have two dogs as well as a freaking parrot, which Ana fell in love with a couple of years ago. I swear that bird is evil and always looking for an opportunity to attack me or cuss at me, but Ana says I'm crazy and that the fucking bird is a little angel…

Entering through the front door, I hear Ana's soft voice come from the living room, following her voice I find her on the sofa cuddled up under a blanket with our oldest granddaughter Maddie who just turned twelve.

"Hey pumpkin, did you cry?" I ask when I see the tear streaks on her face. But she doesn't even want to look at me.

"I'll be right back sweetheart, how about some cookies and ice cream?" Ana asks her and she nods. I follow Ana into the kitchen and hand her a bowl for the ice cream.

"Why has she been crying?" I ask.

"Her school called me to pick her up. Apparently, she started her period and wasn't aware until someone pointed it out to her rather rudely, which made her hide under the bleachers." Ana explains.

"She is twelve!" I get out, Christ; she is just a kid, why does shit like that have to happen this early.

"Christian was twelve too." Ana points out and I momentarily drift back to that day.

_Flashback_

_Since all the kids are in school and kindergarten, I have decided to stay home today and spent some quality time with my wife. We have spent all morning in bed and I only got up to get us something to eat. _

_I have just filled a tablet with food for us when I hear the front door slam shut. I hurry to the entrance hall and find my twelve-year-old daughter slamming her backpack to the ground. _

"_Hey, what is wrong, Chrissie? Shouldn't you be in school?" I ask and she stares at me wide eyed. _

"_Where is Mom?"_

"_Chrissie, I have asked you a question, why aren't you in school?" I ask sternly, because lately my little angel has been showing some rather unpleasant attitude. _

"_I was sent home, where is Mom?"_

"_Why have you been sent home?" I ask, ignoring her question. _

"_Where. Is. My. Mother?" Chrissie snaps instead storms passed me into the downstairs bathroom and slams the door shut. _

"_Christian Grace, open the door now! Do not make me repeat myself, young lady!" I call out. _

"_Go away Dad, I want Mom."_

"_Well tough, I'm here now and I want to know why you have been sent home from school in the middle of the day." _

"_Get Mom!" She screams and I had enough. _

"_Chrissie, I will knock the freaking door down if you don't talk to me right now." I yell back and she opens the door to stare up at me with tears streaming down her face. _

"_I've started my period and I'm having cramps, can you get Mom now, because I need something to stop it from running down my legs." She sobs and I look at her shocked into silence. Fuck, I have no idea how to handle this, so I do the only thing I can. I storm towards the staircase and scream. "Ana!" _

I laugh remembering that day and Ana gives me an odd look. "Sorry, I was just remembering the day Chrissie started her period." I confess and Ana smirks.

"I believe you've been way more traumatized by it than she was." Ana giggles.

"Yeah, but I'll take that experience over Ariella's first period drama every day." I mutter. Ariella started her period at ten fucking years old. Of course, Ana hadn't really talked to her about it at the time, so we woke up one morning to her screaming at the top of her lungs and stormed into her bedroom to find her in the middle of her room staring at the bloodstains on her legs and sheets.

I left the room for Ana to deal with it, knowing that this was a mother daughter moment and not a father daughter moment. Instead, I went straight into my study and had a drink. With the boys it was way easier. When they started puberty, I took them to a camping trip and used that time to have a conversation about sex and everything else that comes with growing up with them. When they were old enough to have sex, I just provided them with condoms and made sure to explain repeatedly how important it was for them to use them. My girls however… I never talked with them about anything sex related, period shit or anything like that. The only thing I insisted on was that Ana gave them the talk about everything they needed to know and they knew that even with taking a pill, they still had to insist on their boyfriends using a condom.

Not that I wanted them to have sex, but I wasn't stupid enough to believe they would stay virgins forever or that I would be able to scare their boyfriends and dates off forever.

"Have you called Chrissie?" I ask.

"Yes, she will be here to pick her up right after she finished work."

"I can't believe they are growing up so fast, remember the first night we had Maddie stay over at our place? Seems like it was yesterday." I muse and Ana smiles.

"I know… so how do you feel after visiting Ros's grave?" She asks and I smile, I didn't tell her where I was going, but of course, my wife always knows what I am up to.

"It was good… I met her son, nice young man… Ros left me a letter and… well, I feel like I finally understand her completely and hope she is at piece now."

"That's good… oh and Mason called, he wants to stop by this evening, do you think he finally found someone?" Ana asks hopeful and I roll my eyes, because I know that is not the case. Last week, I stopped by at his penthouse to talk to him and when I stepped out of the elevator three young women got into it, while my son stood in the vestibule wearing nothing but boxer briefs and a smug grin, though I am not going to tell her that.

"Ana, he will settle down eventually, but he just hasn't found the right girl yet."

"I know, but I'm just worried that he enjoys his bachelor life too much to ever settle down."

"Baby, he is young, just give him some more time, he is not ready or maybe he hasn't met the right girl for him yet… don't worry about him, he is happy and that is all that matters." I try to convince her, but I know she won't be happy until he has found someone. I understand, because finding Ana was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love that our other kids have found the right partner for them, but Mason just hasn't found that person yet, so let him have fun…

"I need to go back to Maddie; the others will be here shortly." She says gets some ice cream and cookies and leaves the kitchen.

Every school day we take Chrissie's and Liam's kids after school, until they or their spouses are home from work. I love it, having all of the kids run around the house reminds of when my own kids were young and I can honestly say, there has never been a quiet day with five active kids.

"Daydreaming?" I hear my mom's soft voice and turn around. Yes, she looks old these days, but she still dresses nicely, does her hair every morning and puts some make up on, just like every day for as long as I can remember.

"A bit, are you okay?"

"Oh, I wish you kids would stop asking me the same question every day. I'm not ready to go just yet, when it's time Carrick will let me know." She says with a smile and slowly sits down at the kitchen table.

"Do you believe that is what happens, Mom?" I ask, with Ana and I getting older, I want to believe that we will still have all of eternity, yet since there is no one who truly knows it gives me comfort to know that my mother believes my dad is waiting for her.

"Yes, I know I'm going to see your father again. When your grandpa died, your grandmother always told me that she would see him again. It was as if she knew. When her time came, I was with her. She had been unconscious for nearly a week, but suddenly a smile came to her face and she whispered something, she said 'I knew you would come, Theo.' and then she passed away and I knew. I knew it was true." My mother says with a smile and it makes me smile too.

Two hours later Ana and I are sitting on a blanket in the meadow with our grandchildren running around us squealing and laughing.

"I dreamed of this." Ana says with a smile as she leans in to kiss me.

"You did?"

"Yes, it was just week after, Chrissie was born and we moved in here. I saw us just like this. And even though at the time I had to think it would never come true, I did." She muses and I take her hand.

"I'll always find my way back to you, baby. I love you."

"And I love you." She whispers against my lips and we kiss again, only to stop and laugh when our granddaughters start to sing ' Grandma and Grandpa sitting on a tree'.

"Let's get them." Ana grins, so we get up chase them and when we catch them, we pepper their faces with kisses until we are all on the ground laughing and giggling.

This is the perfect moment… one of many perfects moments in my life and there are still so many more to come…

* * *

_**Thank you all so much for sticking with this story, even though it has been a bumpy ride from time to time... you guys are so great!  
**_

_**See you in one of my other stories...**_

_**Sunny**_


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